


Let The Flames Begin

by Crossbows_and_moonshine



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-06-25 12:53:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 34
Words: 109,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19746166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crossbows_and_moonshine/pseuds/Crossbows_and_moonshine
Summary: Charlene gets stuck with the Dixons at the end of the world. She has to deal with the new world whilst dealing with Merle being his usual self, and Daryl having his intense need to protect her. Read author note.





	1. Chapter 1

**So I’d really love feedback on this one. The ideas been bouncing around in my noggin for a while, but lately its nagging at me so I need to get it out. I want feedback cause I‘m contemplating making more chapters. No idea how many as of yet, but I have that many Daryl fics I’m in the middle of, that I wanna know if this is worth making into something.**

**I asked on Tumblr about making this in Daryl's POV and people were interested but I changed it a little. It's still third person and we still know a little of what's going on in the characters heads, but it's focused heavily on Daryl's internal monologue. So it's kind of his POV and still in third person. I really don't like the whole ‘Me, I’ etc for this one. I did try it but it didn't work, and sometimes its good to know what's going on with my OC too. But it will focus more on what Daryl's thinking and stuff. I hope that makes sense.**

**It’s set before Daryl and Merle join the group.**

**Also, I mean...show of hands who would be interested in an Alpha wolf Daryl fic...cause I mean...its hot… *side eyes* lololololool**

**Kill me now :’)**

**\---------------------------**

  
  


“Come on sugartits, ain’t no use fightin’ it,” Merle grinned lasciviously at her, but she pointedly ignored him, not even acknowledging his existence.

“Be a good way to pass the time,” Merle smirked obnoxiously, clearly unphased by the girl's refusal to talk to him, he was used to it by now. Charlene huffed in annoyance and rolled her eyes as she turned to the other Dixon brother, the one who rarely said a word and who was currently shaking his head as he looked at his brother like he wanted to throttle him. She idly wondered if they weren't blood, if the man would shoot Merle through the head.

“If ya want we could always have a three-way, sure my little brother here would be into that!” Merle cackled, causing Daryl to growl as he looked down, the tips of his ears turning pink. Charlene turned her eyes to the younger Dixon and paid no mind to him blushing, it was hard to see in the dark.

“Daryl, I swear to God, muzzle him or something before I fucking shove my knife up his ass,” she growled exasperated.

“Shit, a pretty little thing like you, I’d let ya do whatever ya wanted to my ass,” Merle snorted loudly. Daryl looked at him incredulously as the man just continued to laugh. Daryl didn't know whether to laugh or cry, being stuck in here when his brother was clearly high, harassing the poor girl. They knew Charlene somewhat from before the turn. Daryl didn't know her too well but he had heard alot about her. Her father was a preacher, but when his wife died, he became a drunk. Charlene had to take on numerous jobs to pay for everything and it felt like he saw her no matter where he went. The 20-year-old was at the convenience store, the very one they were currently holed up in. He wouldn't say a thing to her, just plonking his shit down and paying for it before he left. Then he’d see her at the diner, he would gruffly order his food and she would serve him, that was that. He'd even seen her serving at the bar a few times despite the fact she was underage. It seemed he couldn’t escape the pretty girl with the chestnut hair and the bright green eyes.

Still, he barely spoke to her, but when Merle was with him, well Merle would be his usual self. Flirting to the point of harassing, saying all kinds of shit that would leave Daryl ashamed of being around him, wondering what she must think of him too. She was always polite though, giving his brother a sickly sweet smile no matter how crude he was. But it became pretty clear since they found her here, if she wasn’t being paid to tolerate Merle, she wasn't gracing him with any of those smiles or putting up with his shit. Daryl couldn't really blame her, he was half expecting her to turn around and shiv his brother the moment his back was turned. 

They had come to the store hoping to find some food. The world had gone to shit and they had been hiding out at their run-down house, but they needed to move. They saw her peaking through the window and as soon as Merle spotted her, that was it. He wouldn't leave until she let them in. She had looked at them warily through the glass at first and Daryl wasn't surprised, but in the end, she had relented, letting them in, and that’s where they had been now for over two weeks. Merle was high all the time, he somehow had a never-ending stash of drugs with him and it was starting to grate on everyone having to put up with his bullshit. Daryl was used to dealing with his brother, but being locked in close quarters with him when he harassed the pretty girl in front of him was really starting to rub his nerves raw.

“Cut it the fuck out Merle,” he huffed, glaring at his brother who was still laughing, off his fucking face. Merle lay down, chuckling still before he started snoring obnoxiously. That they could deal with, it was better than him being awake. Daryl saw Charlene relax visibly the moment his brother fell asleep and he felt bad that she felt so tense around them. 

“Sorry ‘bout him,” he said softly as he twirled a bolt in his hand. There was fuck all to do here and it was driving him crazy. Charlene looked at him, blinking her big green eyes at him. He always seemed to be apologising for the shit his brother did.

“You don't have to be sorry Daryl, it wasn't you,” she sighed, she felt like they had this conversation a billion times a day, yet he continued to say sorry anyway each time his brother was a dick. A silence fell around them but it was comfortable. Daryl had quickly learnt she wasn't much of a talker and he was relieved. Neither was he and it was bad enough when Merle wouldn't stop running his damn mouth.

Daryl glanced about, the shelves were practically empty now and they were running low on anything, they'd have to move out soon and he found his eyes flitting to the girl who was hugging her knees. Would she go with them? He didn't feel right leaving her behind, he was sure she didn't have a weapon, whilst he had his bow and both he and his brother had hunting knives. Part of him thought she wouldn't want to come, he wouldn't blame her with Merle being the way he was. But the thought of leaving her behind left a weird feeling in his stomach. 

“Gonna have to head out soon. Nothin’ left here,” he said, his gruff voice carrying in the small store. He watched her warily for her reaction, seeing how her eyes looked around just like his had. Her shoulders slumped a little and she sighed.

“Where would we go?” she asked, looking over at him in the dark. His heart beat a little faster.  _ We.  _ she wanted to come with them. He didn't know why that made his body flood with relief. He hardly even spoke to the girl unless he was saying sorry for his worthless brother.

“Dunno, need to find some food. Me and Merle can hunt if we need to,” he shrugged, trying to put a plan together in his mind. He knew his brother was too high to come up with anything so he had to take the lead on this one. He wondered about the woods. He would be able to track and hunt easy, maybe even find a little cabin they could reinforce. That would be perfect in his eyes. On their way here he had seen the carnage that the world had turned into, it was a mess. She was watching him intently even through the dark and Daryl lowered his gaze, feeling strange under her eyes. The way she looked at him, like he held all the answers.

He had always felt a little awkward around her. Whenever he saw her in her places of work, if he passed her in the street, she would always give him this little smile. It wasn't the same fake one she would give Merle until he left, it was a real smile and it unnerved him. Everyone around here knew about the Dixons, he didn't know why she wasn't looking at him with the same disdain every other fucker did. She was pretty, it was in a kind of understated way. She wasn't like the usual bitches he was used to at the bar with his brother. The ones who would wear too much make up and barely any clothes. The ones he would fuck in the alley behind the bar after he had drunk too much and his brother had goaded him. She was small, cute even. 

He shook his head with a frown, wondering why he was thinking about it so much. She was there, that was that. There was no way in hell she would be interested in his hick ass, especially when his brother was there to make her feel uncomfortable.

“Ya should sleep, I’ll take first watch,” he rasped, making her squint at him. 

“You say that every night and you never wake me up,” she huffed. He chewed the inside of his cheek, she was right, he didn't wake her for watch. He took both their shifts because he felt bad having to wake her. He wanted to watch over her, to keep her safe. She didn't need to lose sleep keeping an eye out, that was his job. 

“Just get some sleep girl,” he said a little harshly. She just heaved sigh though. There had been a few times he had snapped at her, not because she had done anything wrong, but simply the tension of the situation and his temper. She never seemed phased though, not like she was with Merle. She would just act like he hadn't snapped at her and do as she was told. 

Like always, she lay down, getting comfortable as she lay her head on her jacket that she had balled up. She blinked at him tiredly through the darkness, wondering why he never let her take watch. She wondered if he didn't trust her. Her stomach twisted when she thought about them leaving her stranded here on her own. He wanted to leave, he had said as much, what if she woke up and they were gone? She knew she couldn't defend herself. She had no weapons and it wasn't like she had ever used them. Her skills were serving food or customers in the store, she wasn't really equipped for something like the end of the world. She forced herself to close her eyes, hoping Daryl had some compassion, that he wouldn't just leave her.

“When you leave...Am I coming with you?” she asked, unable to quell the question in her mind. Her soft voice reached his ears and his hand stilled on his bolt as he looked over at her form lay down. He considered asking her if she wanted to, but the idea of letting her have a choice in the matter and her picking the option he didn't like weighed heavy on him.

“Yeah,” he said firmly, holding his breath for a minute like he was waiting for her to argue with him. His eyes bore into her, not that she could see, lay there in complete darkness now.

“Good,” she whispered, a ghost of a smile on her lips, pleased he didn't have any intentions of leaving her defenceless. Daryl's lips tugged into a half smile as he looked away, he couldn't even help himself. He wanted to keep protecting her, to make sure she was safe. She was on her own here, she didn't have anyone. He decided right then she didn't need anyone else, he would be the one to watch over her and keep her safe.


	2. Chapter 2

**The title of this fic is yet again inspired by a song. It’s Let the flames begin by Paramore.**

**_‘What a shame we all became such fragile, broken things_  
A memory remains just a tiny spark  
I give it all my oxygen  
To let the flames begin  
To let the flames begin**

**_Oh, glory_  
Oh, glory  
This is how we’ll dance when  
When they try to take us down  
This is what will be oh glory’**

**Also, I’m unsure whether to keep it like this all the way through, taking it into AU territory where the brothers never meet Rick’s group and its just these three, or to eventually take it into where they meet the quarry group. If I did make them meet them, you know me, shit wouldn’t be strictly canon, I can’t deal with that shit. Canon divergence ‘til I die! *war cries*  
Let me know what you think.**

**————————-**

Daryl was silent as he made his way through the woods, his agitation building by the second. They had left the truck and bike behind the store, knowing they could easily find them again when needed, opting to find a cabin or something to hole up in for now. Merle had insisted he had a friend, someone who had a cabin in the woods just behind the store, and Daryl stupidly listened to him. He was questioning why he had taken the word of his junkie brother as his stomach growled painfully. Two fucking days. That’s how long they had wandered the woods looking for this elusive cabin, and he hadn’t been able to catch a damn thing. They had no food, no water. Daryl would have caught something by now if his loud-mouthed brother would shut up for a minute, but of course he didn’t.

He glanced back at Charlene, trailing slowly behind them. He frowned, a pit in his stomach growing. She looked so weary, the lack of food and water and a place to rest her head seemed to be affecting her badly, her eyes drooping as she walked slowly. So much for providing for her and keeping her safe. Every word that left his brothers lips was chipping away at his sanity, making him feel more and more like a failure at not being able to feed her. Merle was going on about some conspiracy, how the government had planned this whole thing. Daryl might have agreed with him but he was struggling to contain his anger, knowing he was chasing all the damn game away.

“Will ya shut up for a damn minute?!” Daryl erupted seemingly out of nowhere, causing Charlene’s eyes to widen as she looked at him. She had seen him snap before but she had never seen him this angry.  
“Shit baby brother, ya gone and grown some balls?!” Merle laughed teasingly, making Daryl snarl at him and shove him hard. Merle’s eyes hardened then as he stared his brother down.  
“The fuck ya got ya panties in a twist for huh?!” he bellowed at him.  
“We ain’t got shit to eat ‘cause ya can’t keep ya trap shut!” Daryl sneered, looking ready to pounce on his brother. Charlene took a hesitant step forward as she watched the pair.  
“Don’t blame me ‘cause ya shit at huntin’ boy. Ain’t my fault ya ain’t caught a damn thing,” Merle huffed, squaring up to Daryl.

Charlene swallowed thickly. Merle had mostly been obnoxious and annoying but she knew about his temper, she knew he’d been away in prison a few times for assault, she had no desire to watch him beat the shit out of his brother. Daryl was staring him down, the rage from his failure seeping from every pore in his body and his brother’s words only made it worse. He felt someone pushing him lightly and looked down to see Charlene, looking at him with her big pleading eyes as she tried to move him away from his brother. He just looked at her with his jaw set, but she looked at him so imploringly, clearly not wanting a fight. He heaved a sigh, trying to let his anger leave his body as he took a step back. Merle squinted for a minute, relaxing his posture a little now Daryl wasn’t in his face. Daryl gave him one last look before stomping off in the woods.  
“You’re such an asshole Merle,” Charlene sighed, too tired to give him anything more as she followed off after Daryl.

She caught up with him and he glanced her at, slowing his pace when he saw her struggling to keep up. She looked dead on her feet and it was almost painful for him. Merle actually kept his mouth shut after that and Daryl wondered if it was because his hunger had won out and he realised they did indeed need food. It sure as shit wasn’t because he had said something, Merle didn’t give a shit about what he had to say. Either way, he didn’t really care, it meant he could do his thing and hopefully feed them all. He was following some rabbit tracks and he spotted the burrow. When he glanced to Charlene, with all her sweet innocence, he heaved sigh. He almost felt bad for what he was about to do and that was a first.  
“Ya should wait here with Merle,” he said quietly, making her eyes widen in horror.  
“Alone? With Merle? Have you lost your mind?” she asked him like he was stupid. He just squinted down at her, he couldn’t really blame her though for being wary.  
“He won’t do shit, alright? Just wait here,” he said firmly, making her heave a sigh.

“Look, if he tries shit, ya got my permission to stab him in the balls,” Daryl said, a tug of a smile of his lips. She rolled her eyes with a snort and waved him off, turning around to stand near a tree as Merle looked bored. She watched forlornly as Daryl retreated to go get the rabbits.  
“So sweetcheeks, ya gotta thing for my baby brother or what?” Merle asked, making her cheeks flush as she looked at him shocked.  
“What are you talking about?” she asked with a frown, Merle chuckled as he looked at her, taking a step closer and in her personal space.  
“Ya keep lookin’ at him, followin’ him around like a lost puppy. He ain’t shit, ya should be followin’ me around,” he grinned, making her recoil and scoff.  
“Fuck off Merle,” she growled, making his grin widen. He made no effort to move from her personal space, clearly not caring he was making her uncomfortable.

When Daryl returned a few moments later, he narrowed his eyes at his brother and how he was towering over the girl. Charlene looked at the rabbits strapped to him and she felt a pang in her chest. She knew it was stupid, this was the new world now, they had to eat what was there. It still made her sad though. Daryl glanced at her, seeing her face fall when she saw the rabbits and he was glad he made her wait here.   
“Need to find a camp for the night, cook these,” he said gruffly as he approached the two.  
“Well shit, look at ya bein’ a provider. Catchin’ us food like a real man. Bet it makes ya feel good huh? Makes up for the tiny little pecker ‘tween ya legs!” Merle hooted as he sauntered off, leaving Daryl boring holes into the back of his head. Merle was blood, his brother, he loved him. At least that’s what he kept telling himself as his hand twitched around his bow.   
“If anyone’s gonna shoot him, it’s gonna be me,” he heard the small voice from next to him. He looked over, seeing Charlene giving him a wry smirk despite how tired she looked and he scoffed, shaking his head. He felt a little embarrassed at being caught glaring at his brother, like she knew what he was thinking. Of course she did, she was thinking the same damn thing.

“Might let ya soon enough,” he huffed, looking back at his brother waltzing off. He heaved a sigh and started after him, trying to keep his pace slow so the girl could keep up. It was taking all of his restraint not to grab her and throw her over his shoulder so he could hurry the fuck up and find somewhere before dark. He knew it wasn’t her fault she was so slow and tired, it was his. And it almost felt like her weakness was mocking him for being such a fucking failure of a man.

It didn’t take too long to find a place decent enough to set up camp, it was out in the open so it wasn’t very safe. But Daryl didn’t need sleep, he was used to running on little sleep anyway so he would take watch over his brother and the girl. Merle started a fire, actually making himself useful and shocking the shit out of Daryl, but he held back any witty remarks knowing better. He plonked down on the ground, unstrapping the rabbits from his body as he got his knife out ready to prep them to cook. Charlene sat down on the other side of the fire looking weary and he tried not to fucking look at her. Merle walked around for a bit, he said he was checking the perimeter but Daryl knew better. His brother was itching for his next hit, holding out only briefly since one day he would run out. He was antsy, he needed to move about. Daryl just wanted him to hurry up and pop a damn pill and chill out. High Merle was an obnoxious asshole and it wore his nerves thin, but Merle going through withdrawals was lethal and Daryl had no desire to have to deal with that shit right now. He hoped to fuck they’d at least have somewhere safe by the time it came to that. He’d want Charlene far away from his brother when the time came.

“The fuck ya doin’ boy? Ya caught the damn thing so give it to sugartits over there to skin it,” Merle barked as he stomped over, his mood clearly souring already. Daryl squeezed his eyes shut, trying to quell the irritation at his brother. But when he opened his eyes he saw Charlene looking at his brother horrified.   
“She don’t gotta do shit Merle, so shut the fuck up,” Daryl huffed as he started to skin one of the rabbits. He saw Charlene pale and look away, he knew she wouldn’t have the stomach for this. He would teach her, one day, but today wasn’t that day.  
“You’re the one who caught it, the _least_ she could do is cook it for us,” Merle sneered, making the girl’s eyes narrow at him. Daryl admired her ability to hold her tongue when she clearly wanted to wring his damn neck.  
“Exactly, _I’m_ the one who caught it. So why don’t ya do somethin’ useful and be the one to prep it?!” Daryl growled, right eye twitching as he glared up at his brother who was towering over them like the fucking big man he thought he was.  
“‘Cause I ain’t got tits or a cunt ‘tween my legs Darlina,” Merle replied, a sly smirk making way on his stupid fucking face. He hated how crude his brother could be sometimes, he was used to it, but the scoff from across the fire made it clear Charlene still wasn’t.

“It’s fine, I’ll do it,” Charlene bit out, Daryl looked at her furrowing his brow and he could see her jaw set. His brother had pushed a nerve, and now she seemed to feel the need to prove herself.  
“Nah, I got it,” Daryl huffed, going back to the task at hand as Merle smirked at the girl.  
“I said I’ll do it,” she stated firmly. When he looked at her, her eyes were ablaze and he knew his brother really had gotten under her skin, his brother knew it too judging by the shit eating grin on his face.  
“Ya hear that baby brother? The bitch knows her place, so give it to her,” he cackled. Daryl’s hand flexed around the knife. _Don’t kill blood, don’t kill blood, don’t kill blood…_

Charlene’s head whipped to Merle as her nostrils flared, this asshole was so full of himself. Part of her hoped he would trip and land in the damn fire. If it wasn’t for Daryl being so nice, she would have never have come with them.  
“I said no!” Daryl bellowed, shocking both Merle and Charlene for a second. She eyed him warily, seeing the anger flow through him, his hands shaking just slightly. She knew better than to argue so she didn’t say a word, hugging her knees instead and looking off into the fire.  
“Look at that, ya do have a set of balls,” Merle smirked, earning a growl in response as Daryl looked down to continue prepping the meat. Thankfully his brother shut up after that, sitting down too close for comfort next to the girl.

Daryl had the meat prepped in no time, showing just how at ease he was with the task as he set it over the fire to cook. His stomach ached painfully and he was glad he had caught at least something in the end, although deer would have been fucking better. Merle grabbed a plastic bag full of pill bottles out of his bag and Daryl eyed him with a sigh.   
“What? Ya want some?” Merle smirked, glancing over and catching the look off his brother, the one that radiated disappointment from a mile away.  
“Fuck you,” Dary huffed, turning the meat over and glaring at it.  
“Come on, ain’t like ya had that much of a problem before,” Merle grinned, a toothy grin that told Daryl he knew exactly what he was doing. Trying to embarrass him in front of Charlene. He cast a nervous glance to her, expecting to see her staring at him with the same look he had just given Merle, but she just stared off into the fire ignoring them both. Daryl didn’t consider himself a drug user, he wasn’t a junkie like his fucking brother. He had tried a few things here and there simply because his brother wouldn’t leave him alone and as always, he did as he was told. But he never liked it, he didn’t like the lack of control he felt, it just wasn’t for him. And he certainly didn’t depend on the shit like his waste of space sibling.

“It’s the end of the world Merle, in case ya ain’t noticed,” was Daryl’s curt reply. Charlene glanced at him through the flames for a moment, she wondered if he was about to snap and strangle Merle, she might just sit there and watch it unfold.  
“All the more reason to live it up little brother,” Merle grinned, popping a few pills of who knows what into his mouth and swallowing them dry. Charlene grimaced as she watched him, turning her eyes away when he caught her looking and gave her that lascivious smile that made her skill crawl. The meat was cooked and they ate in relative silence, mainly Merle just filling the silence with his usual bullshit as the other two ignored him. Charlene was grateful for some food in her belly, it made her feel a little less weak. Daryl watched her discreetly as she ate the food greedily, betraying just how hungry she was. He felt that pang of disappointment in himself yet again and looked down as he licked his fingers clean.

“Maybe next time ya could catch us a deer? Actually be useful…” Merle huffed after his food was finished far too soon, doing little to ease the discomfort in his belly. Daryl’s eyes snapped up to his as his nostrils flared, feeling the anger crawling its way up his throat.  
“We’re only stuck out here ‘cause of you! This damn friend ya supposed to have. Ain’t seen hide nor hair of this fuckin’ cabin in two days!” he snapped, his jaw clenching as his brother laughed breezily like it was no big deal they were out here starving with nowhere safe to rest their heads.  
“It’s here somewhere, I just need to remember how to get there,” he replied as he sucked the meat off the bones, trying to find more sustenance even though it was all gone.  
“Maybe if ya weren’t high as a kite all the damn time ya might remember,” Daryl glared, the pills had already started taking effect though and it was clear his brother wasn’t even listening anymore.

“I’ll take first watch, gonna check around,” Daryl sighed, flashing Charlene a brief look. She gave him a small smile and he swallowed thickly, that damn smile she always gave him. He never knew just how to react. He got up, wiping his hands on his jeans before grabbing his bow.   
“I already checked the parameter, ain’t no need to do it again so soon,” Merle spoke up, making Daryl glare at him before he stalked off. Merle scoffed at the thought of Daryl not trusting his word but he soon forgot about it as he enjoyed the high as it was working its way through his body.  
“Aren’t you worried?” Charlene asked after a few moments of silence. Merle glanced to her, blinking slowly before snorting and shaking his head.  
“Ain’t nothin’ to worry about sweetcheeks,” he shrugged with his usual obnoxious smile. She levelled her gaze on his though and he shifted feeling weird under the scrutiny of her.  
“Who’s gonna watch over Daryl if you’re high all of the time?” she asked pointedly, knowing it would push his buttons. The man was an asshole and he treated Daryl like shit, enjoying tearing him down at every chance he got, but she wasn’t stupid, she knew as fucked up as their relationship was, they loved each other immensely.

Merle tensed, his eyes hardening a little as he glared at her.  
“He don’t need nobody watchin’ over him, the boy can take care of himself,” he sneered, hating how she was insinuating he wouldn’t look after his little brother, wouldn’t have his back. Who did this bitch think she was? She huffed before looking back into the fire.  
“That’s funny considering you always treat him like he can’t do a thing right,” she muttered, making a fire run through the man’s veins. He lunged at her, gripping her throat and she yelped, eyes widening as he squeezed her throat just enough to make it uncomfortable.  
“Ya don’t know shit bitch so it’d be best to keep ya damn mouth shut,” he snarled. She hadn’t ever seen him this mad before and her heart was hammering away in her rib cage, all she could do was blink up at him. His eyes looked wide, feral and full of rage.

“The fucks goin’ on here?!” Daryl barked, storming right over as he looked from one to the other. His brother’s hand was wrapped tightly around her tiny little neck and she looked ready to just about shit her pants, he didn’t blame her. He felt the fear well inside of him, worried that his brother would snap, one swift movement he could snap her neck and that would be it, it made him feel sick to his stomach. He pointed his loaded bow at his brother and Merle let out a booming laugh as he looked over at him incredulously.  
“Ya gonna shoot me little brother?” he asked menacingly. Daryl swallowed thickly, fighting to get his arms not to shake as he kept his bow pointed at him.  
“Let ‘er go Merle,” he warned, his voice wavering just slightly. Merle turned his eyes back to the frightened girl as he glared at her.  
“Ya ever call me a bad brother again and I’ll snuff ya out before this pussy can save ya,” he growled, squeezing one last time before he pushed her away from him. She grasped at her throat, it would be bruised soon enough that was for sure and she sucked in air, coughing a little.

Daryl lowered his bow, glaring at his brother. He glanced to the girl, the shame and guilt creeping in as she rubbed at her throat. He wasn’t sure what lead her to say that to Merle but it was about the dumbest thing she could have said to him. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. His brother wasn’t a good one, hell he was a shit one honestly. But he did care about him, and if anything pissed him off more than anything, it was being accused of being a bad brother.  
“Ya heard that bullshit Darlina? Makin’ out like I ain’t lookin’ out for ya. I think the bitch should apologise,” Merle grinned wickedly, so full of malice that Daryl swallowed hard. Merle’s hand went to rest on the hunting knife attached to his hip and Daryl could see just how far gone his brother was. He needed to fucking rectify this situation before it got out of hand.

“She didn’t mean it,” Daryl said firmly, making her sneer at him from where she sat. He locked eyes with hers and she blinked at him. He was looking at her pleadingly, begging with her to just do as Merle wished so things wouldn’t get worse. She could feel it from a mile away and she suddenly felt the gravity of the situation as she looked over at Merle, eyeing her like she was his prey as he held onto his knife. She realised she may have just pushed a button she shouldn’t have, especially in the state he was in.  
“I’m sorry Merle,” she bit out reluctantly, not wanting to say it, not meaning it, but wanting to stay alive all the same. Daryl looked to Merle then, waiting on bated breath for his reaction. Merle watched the girl for a minute as she blinked up at him and a grin crept onto his face.  
“Good girl,” he snorted patronisingly. It made her bristle and Daryl rolled his eyes. The tension melted from the older brother though and Daryl released the breath he had been holding, thanking his lucky stars that shit was over and he hadn’t had to knock his brother out to get him to calm the fuck down.

Merle laid down, getting comfy before once again falling into an easy slumber. Daryl watched him with envy before looking at Charlene, she looked tired as fuck but she seemed to be fighting to stay awake, her eyes flitting to his brother nervously every so often.  
“He won’t do shit, I’m gonna stay awake, keep watch,” he said gruffly, watching her as he sat down. She looked at him warily and he felt the guilt magnify when he saw the red marks around her neck. He was glad he was staying awake, he was worried if he slept he would wake and she’d have left. He knew this with his brother was getting out of hand. She looked like she was thinking about it for a minute before she grabbed her jacket, scooting a little closer to him. He watched her carefully as she put her jacket down like a pillow, curling up as she lay down closer to him, seemingly taking comfort in being next to him and away from his brother. He tried to ignore the weird feeling it sent through his chest as he just looked into the flames, trying to keep his guard up so he could watch out for any threats. He almost wished things could just stay like this for a while. Merle asleep and silent, Charlene lay right next to him peacefully. He was dreading the next day when the bullshit would start all over again.


	3. Chapter 3

Charlene woke to her small body being shaken, her eyes snapping open hastily to see Merles face in front of her. But instead of his usual asshole smile, he looked stressed.

“Gotta go sweetcheeks!” he demanded, yanking her to her feet with ease. She felt disorientated, only having just woke and when she glanced around her heart stopped. The dead seemed to be coming in all directions and Daryl was holding them off with his bow, Merle packing up their shit faster than she had ever seen him move. She was rooted to the spot, fear paralyzing her. All she could hear were the groans as Daryl and Merle yelled to each other but she still couldn't move. She hadn't really had to deal with the dead much. She had been hiding out in the store almost from the start, she had done a good job at avoiding them. With the boys, she had come across a straggler or two, but Daryl always dispatched of them easy with his bow, or Merle would gleefully ram his knife into its head. It always made her feel ill. Hearing it, seeing the blood. But now they seemed to be everywhere.

She couldn’t hear much over the groans and her own blood rushing to her ears as she stared off at the dead advancing on them.

“Daryl! Let's go!” Merle called out, having packed up all their shit. Merle shot a wary glance to the girl who was clearly spooked, she looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Daryl glanced over his shoulder, seeing that Merle was ready to leave and he took one look at her. He swallowed thickly as he took off, grabbing her wrist and dragging her along behind him as the brothers ran, weaving through the trees as they evaded the dead. Daryl wasn't sure how long they'd been running but they were all panting and worn out when they found it was okay to slow down. 

“The fucks that? One of them assholes get ya?!” Merle asked sounding accusing, making Daryl frown as he glanced over to him staring the girl down. 

“What?! Am I bit?!” she asked hysterically, making Daryl's stomach fall out of his ass as he rushed to her, hands all over her, turning her around as he checked her over waiting to find a bite. 

“No, the mark on ya neck,” Merle glared, squinting at her. Relief flooded Daryl's body as he realised what he was talking about and he looked at Merle quizzically, the same way Charlene did, like he had lost his damn mind. Daryl wasn't too sure just what his brother had taken the day before, it made him more aggressive than usual and apparently messed with his memory if he didn't remember.

“You did it,” she growled, eyes ablaze as she bore holes into Merle. He looked at her incredulously and shook his head.

“Is this bitch crazy or what Daryl?” Merle snorted, looking over to his brother. The look Daryl gave him though, the one full of shame and anger, well that told him he did indeed do that to her. 

Merle tensed for a moment before his mask slipped firmly back in place and he huffed, turning around to walk once more. Daryl had seen it though, he had seen the brief flicker of guilt on his face. His brother was a lot of things, hell, he had done a lot of things, but he hadn't ever laid a hand on a woman in a bad way, not until the night before when he had taken whatever the fuck that was. Charlene watched after him, glaring at his retreating form like she wanted to say something but Daryl bumped his shoulder into hers, making her bright green eyes turn to him.

“Just leave it, ain’t worth it,” he rasped. She didn't want to leave it, her neck was bruised and it hurt like a bitch, but it was obvious he didn't even remember. She contemplated stealing his stash and tossing it but then she wondered just how bad he could be when he was sober and mad about his drugs. She inhaled a shaky breath, giving Daryl one last look as he watched her, unable to tear his eyes away, like he could read every emotion as it passed on her face. 

“Fine,” she sighed, making her way after the older brother before he got too far. 

Merle was unusually silent and Daryl found himself looking at him every so often, he wasn't sure if he was thinking about what he had done or was plotting a god damn murder. He never knew what was going on in that head of his.

“The woods ain’t such a good idea. Think we underestimated how many of those dead fucks are around here,” Merle finally spoke after a long tense silence. Charlene shot him a glance, surprised that something intelligible came out of the assholes mouth and Daryl almost snorted, catching her look.

“What should we do?” Daryl asked, chewing his thumb as he looked to his brother. His brother wasn't really high right now and once again, Daryl was back to following, not leading. His brother was good at coming up with plans when he wasn't off his face if he was honest. It was just natural now for him to follow his brothers lead. He watched as his brother seemed to mull things around in his head for a bit.

“Grab the truck and bike, maybe head up to Atlanta, see what's goin’ on there. Maybe there's some sort of refuge set up,” he shrugged. Daryl nodded, sounded a good a plan as any, better than nothing.

“What about the cabin?” Charlene piped up, Daryl had almost forgotten she was there with how silent she was. Merle looked at her with a snort, shaking his head.

“Shit, I prolly hallucinated the damn thing,” he barked a laugh. Daryl couldn't help the small laugh that left his lips. He fucking knew the thing didn't exist, on a wild goose chase for nothing. The mood also felt lighter with Merle seeming to be in a relatively good mood, it was a rare thing indeed. Daryl warily looked to the girl who was tagging along for no other reason than she needed them to keep her safe, expecting her to be mad at his answer, but she looked like she was fighting a laugh and Daryl snorted lightly.

“How do we get back to the truck? We’ve been walking for days now,” she asked, looking to Daryl like he held all the answers again. His stomach flipped around on him and he cleared his throat with a casual shrug.

“Retrace our steps, track ourselves back,” he replied as they walked back the way they came.

“But the dead, wouldn't they have ruined the tracks?” she asked hesitantly, not really wanting to go back the way they came, even if the dead had probably moved on by now.

“We’re Dixon's sweetcheeks, trust us, we know what we’re doin’,” Merle smirked proudly, making Daryl shake his head, like being a Dixon was anything to be proud about. They did know what they were doing though, it wasn't just tracks but certain things, little things Daryl would pick up on that would be markers for the way back. He was observant, far smarter than anyone gave him credit for.

“Gonna have to find somewhere to camp out again, take days to get back,” Daryl mused as they walked, he was poised with his bow and ready at all times as he walked besides Charlene, making sure she was safe by his side. He was sick of this walking around and camping out in the open bullshit, they needed somewhere with a roof over their heads, somewhere safer. They walked until it was dark and Charlene's feet were hurting like a bitch. She was starving again and the thirst was killing her, but she didn't dare complain. She wondered if it was obvious she couldn't keep up with them, if they would just leave her there to die. She felt like Daryl wouldn’t, but his brother could probably convince him. 

Daryl watched her from the corner of his eye as they walked along, her feet were dragging and she looked sickly, like she was about to keel over and fucking die. He halted his steps, gently grasping the top of her arm to still her. She turned her tired eyes up to him. Blinking slowly as she furrowed her brow confused. A deep frown etched his face. Being able to see just how tired she was.

“Y’alright?” he asked hesitantly, even though he knew the answer.

“Yeah, just a little tired,” she shrugged, giving him a little smile. His frown didn't ease up any, it was clear she was dead on her feet and he cursed himself. They hadn't found a stream for water or seen any more game around, the dead no doubt taking it all in the area. 

“Maybe we should just camp out here for the night. Ya need to get ya head down, get some rest,” he muttered, his eyes flitting around to see if this was too out in the open, if it would be safe enough.

“Well fuck me up the ass and call me Shirley!” they heard Merle hoot from a clearing in the trees. Both Charlene and Daryl turned to look from where the noise was, not that they could see him with all the trees in the way. Charlene turned her eyes back to Daryl with a quirked brow as he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Let's go see what the fucks goin’ on with him now,” he sighed, sounding so done with Merle's shit. The pair of them trudged through the trees only to see just what Merle was so excited about.

“Ya gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” Daryl snorted loudly, eyeing the cabin in front of him.

“It was real?” Charlene asked, looking at Merle incredulously. He turned to look at them both with a grin.

“Well, I ain't gonna lie. I’m pretty sure I made that shit up. This here though is a stroke of luck,” he laughed, readying his knife to go inside and get rid of any threats.

Daryl looked to the girl, all small and defenceless, he didn't know how this would work. He didn't want to take her in there with them when they checked for anything wrong, but the thought of leaving her out here alone made his stomach clench painfully. He was snapped out of his thoughts by the girl in question talking.

“What if someones in there though? A living person, I mean,” she asked nervously, eyes glancing from one brother to another before settling on Daryl again, he really didn't get why she acted like he knew everything. 

“Then we take care of ‘em,” Merle scoffed like it was obvious and Daryl groaned. Charlene’s eyes widened as she looked at him like he was crazy, she was pretty sure what he meant and it wasn't anything good.

“You can't just go in there and force people to give us the cabin Merle!” she scolded, making him bristle at her tone, like she was telling off a naughty child.

“We ain’t gonna,” Daryl said firmly, shooting his brother a pointed look. Merle just huffed as he stomped his way over to the cabin. Daryl chewed his lower lip, knowing he had to make up his mind now.

“Stay behind me at all times, don't wander off and don’t do a fuckin’ thing unless I tell ya,” he demanded gruffly, looking at her deadly serious as he pointed at her. Usually, she would have been annoyed at someone demanding her to do as she was told but she knew how serious this was, why he was telling her this. She nodded, feeling the fear building in her stomach at what could lay beyond the door to the cabin. Daryl looked at her, pleased she hadn't argued before he followed his brother carefully to the door, silent on his feet as always. He glanced back at her when they got to the door, checking to see if she was indeed behind him and she was.

Daryl lifted his finger to his lips and she nodded, letting him know she understood. He glanced to Merle then, the pair locking eyes. They were so in tune with each other that at times they didn't need words. Merle gave him a quick nod as he eased the door open slowly, and Charlene was a little surprised at how quiet and graceful the man could be when he wasn't running his mouth off and stomping around the place. Merle went in first, knife and gun at the ready, whilst Daryl held his bow up, their eyes scanning the area. Charlene stood close behind Daryl and her stomach was twisting, waiting to hear something. She was holding her breath and she didn't realise she was fisting the back of Daryl’s shirt as her eyes flit around in the dark. The three of them stood there for a moment, looking around silently as they waited for something, anything to let them know they weren't alone.

The cabin was pretty open plan apart from two doors which Daryl presumed was the bathroom and bedroom. He looked at his brother, the pair nodding before Merle slinked off to one door while Daryl went to the other. Charlene was still gripping his shirt for dear life, her nerves frazzled as she followed after him obediently. He glanced back at her before he opened the door, checking she was okay. In the darkness he could just make out the sparkling of her tired green eyes, looking so scared. He couldn't speak, so he hoped the tiny nod he gave her was enough to let her know she would be okay. She didn't relax any, if anything she gripped his shirt harder but he didn't mention it. He opened the door carefully and it was the bedroom, but after going in and glancing around the small room, there was nothing there and he relaxed.

“Clear,” he heard Merle call out, making his body relax even more. He looked down at Charlene, she relaxed a little but she was swaying slightly on her feet. She didn't remove her hand from the grip it had on his shirt and he couldn't bring himself to tell her to let go, he wasn't sure he wanted her to. He opted not to mention as he walked back into the large living space, the girl trailing behind him, still attached to him. He cast his eyes around the place. No one was here, living or dead. Now they just had to barricade the place up and he hoped they could stay here for a day or two. He could scout the area for some food and the girl could get the rest she so desperately needed. It made him feel good, that he could put a roof over her head even for just a few days. Granted he hadn’t found the place on purpose, technically it had been Merle that found it first. But he still felt good about it. They would be safer in here than out there, maybe he would actually get some sleep too. He fucking hoped so.


	4. Chapter 4

**Let me know what you guys think of this so far. I currently have 10 chapters written, this story is just coming to me right now. If there's anything you’d like to see happen, let me know. If it fits the story I might use it as inspiration. I always love it when people suggest things to help me along.**

**I’m posting this as I go, so it should be once a day as long as I stay ahead of my writing. All my other Daryl fics (I think I have like 6 others?) I won’t post until I’ve completed them. So shout out to my awesome beta for currently beta reading one of them for me so I can get it finished.**

**Also, I’m currently dying of food poisoning.**

**Pray for me :’)**

**\-----------------**

****  
  


The Jackpot, that's what this place was. It wasn't just a roof over their heads, it was the fucking jackpot and Daryl couldn't believe their luck. After they checked the place for threats, Merle had rummaged through the cupboards and found it stocked full of food and even bottles of water. There was enough there to last them at least a week and Daryl felt the relief flood his body at the idea of just resting for a damn minute. Daryl had asked his brother if he had any ideas about how to reinforce the place. It was a rickety old wooden cabin, the wind would make it fall over if it picked up. He was concerned a hoard of the dead would come along and take the place with them. They needed to do something if they planned on staying here a little while. Merle had promptly disappeared saying he had an idea.

Daryl plonked down on the worn armchair, his eyes casting over to Charlene as she stood in the kitchen, opening a can of peaches she had found with the can opener Merle had found in the kitchen drawer. Once she got it open, she slurped some of the syrup greedily and let out a soft moan at the sweet taste. Daryl's pants tightened and he looked away, the tips of his ears turning pink. He felt like such a fucking creeper, but damn if that noise wasn’t the sweetest thing he’d ever heard. He was broke out of his thoughts when Merle walked back in. He tossed a bundle of barbed wire on the small coffee table in front of Daryl and Daryl quirked a brow at his brother.

“Found this in the little shed out back. Could make a fence, maybe string some cans up on it so we hear if there's any visitors,” he explained as he flopped onto the couch ungracefully.

Charlene padded over then glancing at Merle before her eyes landed on Daryl. She shot him a sweet smile that made his throat constrict.  _ Kill me now.  _

She sucked the juice off her fingers as she sat down and Daryl had to fight the urge to groan.  _ Should I shoot myself or stab myself? Bullet would prolly be quicker. _

“Barbed wire? They don't feel pain though do they?” she asked softly, nibbling her lower lip that was still glistening from the syrup.  _ Maybe I could just set myself on fire... _

“Nah they don’t, but it’ll tangle ‘em enough for us to go out and deal with ‘em. ‘Sides, the cans, we’ll hear if there's a hoard, we’ll know to get the fuck outta dodge,” Merle said seriously for once. The girl's eyebrows raised right off her fucking head at his brother's plan, at how good it sounded, well thought out. He knew what she was thinking, she didn't expect his brother to be able to come up with something like that. His brother was only a little high right now, just weed most likely. Nothing hard it seemed and that's when he noticed his brother was the best version of himself. When he was on the hard stuff, he would either be a fucking sexual deviant or just plain aggressive. But this right now he could work with. His brother was chilled out but his brain worked, that was all Daryl could ask for right now.

Merle and Daryl went outside to make their makeshift fence. Winding the barbed wire around the trees and making a parameter that the dead wouldn't be able to get through easily. They attached some empty cans they found in a trash bag and Daryl had to admit, his brother's plan was pretty good. It wouldn't stop them from getting in when it came down to it, but it would slow them down and give them enough warning for them to get out safely. When they were done, Daryl looked as Merle checked it over, making sure it was done right. His brother looked deep in thought and that was a rare thing, Daryl was worried about what he was thinking about. He didn't have to wait long before he looked over and spoke to him.

“I wanna ask ya somethin’ and I don't want ya to bullshit me here,” Merle said firmly, glaring at Daryl. Daryl blinked warily at him, wondering where the fuck this was going, he had a feeling he wouldn't like it, it was weird seeing his brother so serious.

“Alright,” Daryl replied hesitantly. Merle scratched the scruff on his chin, straightening himself out, looking like he was preparing himself to say something whilst his younger brother watched on carefully.

“Those marks...she deserve it?” Merle asked roughly, making Daryl's jaw clench in anger, like his brother was trying to justify the actions he didn't even understand himself and find a way out of this.

“For fuck sake Merle!” Daryl growled, narrowing his eyes at him.

“I’m serious here! Did she do somethin’? Hit me? Provoke me?” Merle asked him, sounding almost desperate, it was pathetic.

“It ain't matter what she did or didn't do! She's a tiny little thing Merle, look at ya. Fuckin’ built like a house and hopped up on whatever the fuck that was. Ya damn near snapped her neck!” Daryl yelled, he felt his anger deep into his bones. Merle shook his head with a growl as he started to pace and Daryl could see him unravelling. Merle wasn't exactly used to feeling guilt or remorse and it seemed to be eating at him.

“It weren't me alright?!” Merle shouted as he stopped pacing, pinning his brother with his gaze.

“I know it wasn't. But ya still hurt her, scared her half to death. Ya can't do this shit no more Merle! It ain't fair to any of us. Whatever that was, ya better not use it again, because if ya lay a damn hand on her again, I won't be fuckin’ responsible for what I do to ya,” Daryl threatened, his eyes turning cold as Merle just blinked at him. 

They both had issues from their past and watching their father beat their mother mercilessly, that was something neither of them would forget. It was the very reason why they wouldn't ever lay a hand on a woman that way. They despised woman beaters, and now Merle was riding that thin line and he felt like his sanity was slipping away from him. When he was high, sometimes, depending on what he took, he changed into a different person completely. One without the same morals he usually had, one who seemed to have no control of that Dixon temper that had plagued him his whole life.

They didn't need words, Daryl could see it, the remorse, how it was affecting his brother. He hoped it had woken him the fuck up enough not to use whatever it was that got him that way again. He was glad his brother regretted it, showing him he hadn't lost his compassion completely, that his brother was still in there somewhere. They just watched each other for a moment, Daryl's anger ebbing away as Merle lowered his eyes. It reminded him of when they were younger, very young when their mother was still alive and she would tell him off for something he had done. He felt a pang in his chest and he pushed it down, way down into the deepest darkest parts of him, never to emerge again. He stalked off back into the cabin, needing a break, needing to see the girl and make sure she was alright. He turned back when he got to the door, seeing Merle opting to stay outside, no doubt to think about shit and clear his head. 

He heaved a sigh as he walked through the door. Charlene was sat at the dining table, all the cans of food in front of her as she organised them. Seeing them on the table like that, it made him feel good seeing just how much shit they had. If they rationed it right, it could last for a little bit. He could also hunt around the area, see what he could catch. Maybe they could stay here for a while and just rest up. He knew soon enough food would run out, they would once again be on their way. He wanted to enjoy some semblance of normal before that happened. As normal as he could get stuck with his drug-addicted brother and a girl he barely knew. 

“The fuck ya doin’?” he asked with a quirked brow as he sat in the chair opposite her. She gave a soft snort as she glanced to him then back to the can in her hand.

“I got bored, I decided to see what we’ve got. There's a lot. I also found some clothes. There's some shirts I’m gonna take. They look like a teenagers so they’d fit me better. The rest should fit you and Merle. Although you’d probably wanna rip the sleeves off,” she smirked wryly at him, making him lower his head feeling bashful all of a sudden as he scoffed. She had a pile of clothes on the chair next to her. Some jeans and plaid shirts.

“Probably,” he huffed, his lips tugging into a half smile.

“Why do you do that? Ripping the sleeves off?” she asked curiously, resting her chin on her hand like she was so fucking interested in the answer. He could feel the tips of his ears turning pink having her watch him so intently like that as he chewed his thumb.

“Just easier to move about with the bow I guess,” he shrugged. 

“I guess that makes sense. You’ve got those broad ass shoulders and huge arms. I bet it's uncomfortable with sleeves,” she said breezily, like it was no big deal what she said. 

All Daryl could do was blink at her for a minute as she went back to organising the cans.  _ Shit, was that a compliment? _ He was bewildered and he glanced down to his shoulders and arms. He felt a strange feeling in his chest swell. The same kind of feeling he would get when he bagged a big buck on a hunt. Pride? Is that was it was? He didn't know but he fucking liked it. He didn't exactly know why she was organising the cans, but he didn't say a word. She was busy, and that meant she wasn't looking at him. That, in turn, meant he could look at her without her realising and calling him out on being a fucking creep.

Her long brown hair was up in a messy bun, but she still somehow looked good. Even with her mud-stained cheeks. She looked better now she had eaten and drank something, no doubt the feeling of safety from the cabin helped too. She looked less tense.

“Ya’ll never guess what I found outside!” Merle hooted as he burst in the front door, a shit eating grin on his face. Daryl and Charlene turned their eyes to him but made no move to talk.

“Well shit, don’t all ask at once,” Merle huffed a laugh, making Charlene snort a little as she toyed with the can in her hand. Daryl just looked at his brother expectantly.

“They got some sorta water system rigged up out back. Works on rainwater,” Merle grinned. The girl’s eyes lit up and Daryl couldn't tear his eyes away from her, watching a beautiful smile grace her face.

“There's running water?!” she asked looking excited.

“I’m gonna guess there is,” Merle smirked, looking so proud of himself it was ridiculous. Anyone would think he rigged the system up himself.

“Yes! I’m gonna take a shower. I presume you guys won't mind me taking first dibs,” she said casually as she grabbed one of the smaller shirts off the pile.

“The fuck does  _ that _ mean?” Daryl scoffed, looking so fucking offended it made Merle bark a laugh. She stilled, eyes wide as she looked to Daryl and his offended face.

“Oh...I...Uh...I just meant that...you two don't look the type...to be concerned with showering...is all,” she stammered, looking awkward. Daryl frowned, was she saying he was dirty? She had just fucking complimented him damn near a minute ago and now she was insulting him? He didn't understand what was going on.

“She ain't wrong baby brother,” Merle laughed, walking past him and smacking him on the back brotherly, making him tense and flinch for a second.

Charlene was clutching the clean shirt to her chest, looking awkward as a light blush graced her cheeks, Daryl squinting at her.

“I didn't mean...I didn't mean it in a bad way. You're all...manly and stuff, ya know? And you guys are out there, you're used to it...the mud,” she rambled nervously, her hands fisting the material of the shirt.

“We  _ are _ manly,” Merle smirked, slurping on a bottle of water.

“I didn't say  _ you _ were manly, I was talking about Daryl,” she scoffed, making Merle choke on his mouthful of water. Daryl bit his lower lip and ducked his head so he didn't laugh at his brother's reaction. He still had no idea what was going on. Was she insulting him or not? Now she was saying he was manly, he didn't know which way was up right now. But watching her squirm was a little amusing.

“I’m just saying, I’m not used to this. I’m a girl and I've never been in the woods before and I-” she started rambling again and Daryl rolled his eyes.

“Just go,” he snorted giving her the out she so desperately fucking needed. She glanced at him once more before scurrying off and Daryl shook his head and huffed a laugh.

Merle flopped into a chair at the dining table with a scowl.

“I’m manly,” he huffed, sounding like a petulant child as he glared at his water bottle.

“Uh huh...whatever ya say,” Daryl smirked, grabbing a can and opening it with his knife, shovelling the canned fruit in his mouth.

“We gonna go huntin’ tomorrow? Could see what's out there, hopefully make the food last a while,” Merle asked, glancing to him. Daryl swallowed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Might as well. Seems good here, be good if we could stretch it out a little,” he shrugged, making his brother nod, the pair of them thinking about it. Even Merle had to admit this little set up was nice. Daryl really hoped they’d bag a deer soon. They could prep the meat and ration it, make it last a while between them all. He wondered how she would react, having him catch something big like that, something to fill her belly with for a while. He felt a twinge in his stomach and tried to ignore it, grabbing more fruit and pushing it in his mouth to distract him. The girl was making him feel all kinds of shit and he wasn't really sure what to think about it. So he opted not to think about it at all.  _ Ignorance is bliss and all that shit. _


	5. Chapter 5

Charlene relished the cold water from the shower. She tried to be quick, she didn't know how much water there was and she wasn't about to be selfish and use it all. She scrubbed her hair and body and watched the brown water swirl down the drain. She towelled off, feeling good now she was clean. She had to put her dirty jeans back on since none of the spare ones here fit her but she didn't care. She was clean and that's what mattered. She put the red and black plaid shirt on, it was still a little big on her small frame despite the fact it was a teenagers size and she left the bottom few buttons undone, tying it around her waist so it looked a little more flattering. She shouldn't have been concerned with such things with the world the way it was but she couldn't help it. She towel dried her hair the best she could and left it down to dry itself, leaving the bathroom feeling fresh.

Daryl was sat on the couch when she walked back in and it felt like the air in his lungs had been stolen away. Sure he'd seen her clean before, she seemed to be everywhere around town before all this. But somehow, after being with her for a few weeks, seeing her looking somewhat more like her old self left him breathless. Her long hair was slightly damp and left down, a little wavy. He'd never cared too much about girls hair before, that was until he first saw her. She had this warm chestnut hair that reminded him of the woods in the best way. It was always so shiny, soft looking. She tended to have it in a different style every time he used to see her. Braids? He didn't know if that's what they were called but she did that a lot. Sometimes her hair would be straight, other times wavy or even curly. He hadn't known what was her natural hair until now, seeing the waves. He frowned to himself, realising he was staring and thinking about her hair way too much. Damn girl was turning him into a pussy. 

****  
  


“Alright kids, I’m gonna head to bed. Don't do nothin’ I wouldn't do,” Merle grinned obnoxiously as he left to the bedroom, shutting the door. Charlene squinted at the now closed door.

“Why does he get the bed?” she scoffed, scrunching her nose up.

“He’s in another room, ya really gonna complain?” Daryl snorted giving her a pointed look.

“Good point,” she said, flashing him an impish grin. Daryl looked around, he didn't know where he was going to sleep. He was pretty sure the couch he sat on pulled out as a bed but he knew she wouldn't want to share with him. Maybe he’d just make up a bed on the floor. Wasn't like they had been sleeping better than that recently anyway. 

He stood up, sorting the pull out bed and she watched, noticing how his arm muscles flexed as he pulled it out.

“There ya go,” he said looking somewhat bashful, moving away from the bed as she walked over to it.

“Where are you sleeping?” she asked, her brow furrowed a little. He chewed his thumb, trying not to look at her so his thoughts didn't wander back to her hair.

“Floor probably,” he shrugged.

“You can share the bed with me you know. I won't molest you in your sleep,” she snorted as she arranged the couch cushions to be pillows. Daryl's jaw clenched wondering what the fuck that meant. He knew damn well she wouldn't dream of touching him that way, was that her way of letting him know? It made his heart ache and he didn't like it, feeling like he repulsed her or something.

“Come on, get in,” she said softly as she climbed into the bed. He chewed his thumb some more before toeing off his boots and laying down, feeling tense and uncomfortable. 

He left a big distance between them and she lay on her side facing away from him. They were both fully clothed, wanting to be prepared in case things went ass upwards. The time spent getting dressed could cost your life these days. Hours passed and he lay awake, unable to sleep with her so close to him. He was surrounded by her scent, the feel of her body heat that radiated off her. He fucking hated it. He growled to himself, sitting up and hauling himself out of bed.  _ So much for finally gettin’ some sleep. _

The next day passed without much event. The boys had planned to hunt in the morning, that was until Daryl realised leaving the girl unattended here wasn't the best idea. When he spoke to Merle he had expected a snarky remark. But was instead told he was right. Both Daryl and Charlene noticed how Merle was being a little different around her after discovering he had left marks on her. She didn't know if he felt bad or what, but she was grateful for the relief of his constant annoyingness. Merle had offered to go alone to hunt but came back empty-handed, much to his chagrin. They'd just have to try again later. Daryl was determined to get that damn deer. 

“Alright, I’m headin’ out,” Daryl announced as he slung his bow over his shoulder. Merle was eating in the kitchen and Charlene stood near Daryl with wide eyes. It was evening now, it was a little later than he liked to hunt but hopefully, it would be worth it. She was wringing her hands, just stood next to him watching him carefully and he chewed his lower lip, wondering if he should say something.

“Do you have to go?” she blurted out, catching him off guard for a moment.

“Wanna see if I can find some food,” he shrugged, making her look down.

“He’ll behave himself, seems fine enough for now,” he added, just in case she was worried about being around Merle. She was a little. He hadn't been as bad lately but she didn't trust him still. She nodded, looking up at him like a kicked puppy and he couldn't work out why she seemed so sad about him going out to hunt.

“Can’t I come with you?” she asked, pleading eyes pinning him in place.

“Nah, ya need to stay here where it's safe,” he frowned, her shoulders slumped a little and he ignored the pang it sent through his chest.

“Just...stay safe,” she whispered. He swallowed thickly, unsure of why those words made him feel weird or why she even said them at all.

“Always am,” he replied before leaving, giving her one last look before he left, in search of some food.

It was dark now, Charlene hadn't moved from her spot near the window, where she had stood as soon as Daryl left. She didn't like that he wasn't back and it was now dark, she just wanted him to come back as soon as possible. Merle had barely spoken to her and she was thankful. He just ate and then went off to lay down in the bedroom. Seemingly awkward being around her without his brother. She broke out of her thoughts when she saw something through the trees. It was a flashlight, and she briefly thought of Daryl. That was until she remembered none of them had flashlights. Then she saw another light next to it, then another one.

“Shit!” she panicked, feeling the fear ripple through her body at the thought of strangers coming here. 

She hadn't been too wary before, but Merle had rambled on in his many moments of never shutting up about how people were these days, how some survivors were worse than the dead. She jumped up, rushing into the bedroom and shaking him frantically.

“Merle wake up!” she hissed, shaking him almost violently.

“Damn it girl, what?” he snapped as he opened her eyes, seeing her a quaking mess hovering over him.

“There's people outside,” she muttered tensely, her big wide eyes boring holes into him. His face hardened then as he jumped out of bed, grabbing his gun and knife. She followed him to the window where he too saw the three flashlights approaching.

“Daryl,” he growled, wondering where his baby brother was, hoping these assholes hadn't seen him first. She tensed at his name, more fear running through her body when she wondered just where he was, why he wasn't back yet.

“Anybody in there?” a voice called out. Rough and manly, very southern. Merle clenched his jaw as he continued to peep out of the window before he glanced over at Charlene.

“Get in the cupboard,” he demanded as he pointed at it, making her eyes widen in horror. The tv cabinet was small but big enough for her tiny frame to hide inside of it if she sat down, but the thought filled her with dread like never before.

“Merle… I can’t. I'm claustrophobic,” she whispered panicked.

“I don't know what the fuck that means girlie, but ya get in that god damn cupboard. It sure as hell beats bein’ raped,” he glared. His blunt words were like ice cold water being poured onto her and she swallowed thickly.

“Get in the cupboard, Charlene,” he ordered, giving her a stern look. She just nodded, the movement jerky as she went over, opening the door and climbing inside. She sat hugging her knees as Merle shut the door, enclosing her in darkness.

“Anyone in there?” the voice repeated as Merle glanced through the window, the flashlights were closer now, just near the barbed wire. It had been a good plan to fend off the dead, but he hadn't really thought about if other living people were around, it was like a beacon that they were there. And where there were people, there were supplies. He growled to himself, seeing the lights manoeuvre themselves between the barbed wire. Where the fuck was his brother?

Daryl had wandered further than he wanted to. He had found deer tracks and his desperate need to do something, anything to feel that sense of pride from the girl, it had him follow the tracks for fucking hours. But now, here he was, walking home in the dark with a buck over his shoulders. It was heavy but he didn't care. He would feed his damn woman and they'd have plenty to spare.  _ She ain’t yours though, is she? _ The voice sneered in his head, making his jaw clench. He wasn't too far now and then he heard it.

“Anyone in there?”

His heart dropped right out his ass. That voice wasn't Merles and it sure as shit wasn't the girl's. Someone was there. He pushed on, trying to pick up his pace but the deer was weighing him down. He heard them call out again and that was it. He tossed the deer, wondering if he could go back for it later, if the biters hadn't gotten to it first. He took off running, halting at the tree line where he saw three men at the door. 

Merle was stood there, gun pointing at the men and Daryl edged around the trees, getting closer.

“We just want some food is all. Maybe a place to rest our weary heads. Ain’t too much to ask now is it?” the deep voice of the man in the middle asked, making Daryl tense, the hairs on the back of his neck prickling. He could just tell these weren't good men, and he knew his brother felt it too.

“Ya ain't gonna find that here, now fuck off,” Merle snarled, his gun still pointing at the man in the middle. Daryl held his breath, creeping closer to the house hidden behind the darkness of the trees. He wondered where Charlene was, his stomach twisted something awful at the thought of her being in there, what these assholes might do to her if they found her.

One of the men stood to the side suddenly rushed Merle, the gun going in the air as it went off. Daryl grabbed his bow, loaded and ready and he ran, making his way to the cabin. Watching in horror and they got the jump on his brother. Charlene heard the shot and yelped, covering her ears as her heart hammered away in her chest. The door was yanked open and she was met by a man with scraggly hair and a grin worse than Merles. He grabbed a fistful of her hair, making her cry out as he yanked her from the cupboard. He pulled her around so her back was to his chest and she tensed when she felt the blade of a knife being held to her neck. She blinked her tearful eyes only to see Merle on his knees, a murderous face as his own gun was held to his head.

Daryl burst through the door, witnessing the standoff. His bow pointing at the man holding his brother at gunpoint. His eyes flit around the place, assessing it, and when his eyes landed on Charlene, trembling as tears streamed down her face, a fucking knife to her throat. It sent a wave of desperate fear through his veins.

“Ya ain’t gotta do this,” Daryl said gruffly, his eyes going to the girl every so often, it was painful, hearing her sniffles as she tried to hold it together.

“We asked nicely, but ya didn't seem very hospitable now did ya?” the man in the middle of the room asked, Daryl mused he seemed to be the leader of the group. The man holding Charlene by the hair tugged on her hair and she yelped, the movement made the knife nick her skin slightly and she whimpered as she felt a trickle of blood drip down her neck paralyzing her with fear. 

“Ya can take what ya want, just leave,” Daryl growled, tensing a little as his arms ached under the weight of his bow. The sight of her blood made his heart beat so fast he was sure it would beat out of his damn chest. He needed to fix this now, to come up with something that would get them all out this unharmed.

“Like hell they can! They ain't comin’ in here and takin’ our shit!” Merle snarled despite the gun to his head, as stubborn as always. Daryl shot him a look. A pleading look so full of desperation. Merle's eyes flicked over to the girl then. Seeing the blood, seeing her shaking horribly. He clenched his jaw, his nostrils flaring as he tried to quell the rage bubbling inside of him. She wasn't theirs to touch.

“Take what ya want,” Daryl repeated firmly, sensing his brother’s acquiescence. 

“I think we will,” the leader chuckled, waltzing off to the dining table where Charlene had organised the food. Daryl's bow was still on the man with the gun as he watched the leader shove the cans into his pack. He looked back at Charlene and the look she gave him was heartbreaking. Like she was begging for him to help her and he knew he couldn't.

“Let ‘er go,” he demanded, shifting where he stood as he struggled to keep a lid on his temper. He wanted to beat these assholes into the ground but he knew, one wrong move and she would be dead.

“Nah, I think we might just keep her,” the man smirked, nipping at the side of her neck harshly. She cried out, trying to wriggle from his grasp and the knife nicked her again, causing more blood to fall down her neck as she let out a strangled sob. The sound made Daryl's heart hurt unbearably and a low growl rumbled in his chest.

“Son, ya better pray we don't find ya after this, I’m gonna cut ya damn hands off,” Merle smirked maliciously at him, a deadly look in his eyes. The man shifted uncomfortably under that look and Daryl knew he should have. He knew Merle would do just that and Daryl would fucking help him. 

“Alright, let's go,” the leader barked after taking most of their food, walking back to where they stood.

“What about the bitch?” the man with the knife asked.

“Let her go, ain't worth the trouble,” the leader huffed as he walked past Daryl with a shit eating grin. Like he had the upper hand and he could do fuck all about it. The man with the knife shoved Charlene way from him so rough that she fell, her knees hitting the floor painfully and she cried, gut-wrenching sobs leaving her lips that felt like a punch to Daryl's gut every fucking time. The other men left through the door, the three of them walking down the porch steps. 

Merle stood up, grabbing the gun he knew was tucked in Daryl's waistband since the asshole had taken his, and they didn't even need to communicate. A bolt flew fast from Daryl's bow at the same time as a bullet from the gun Merle was holding. The bolt went right through the knife man's head, Merles through the asshole who had him at gunpoint. It all happened so fast, the leader turning around seemingly in slow motion when the bodies dropped like sacks of shit, eyes wide as if he was actually shocked they had done that. Merle squeezed the trigger again, sending the leader flying backwards with a shot right between his eyes. They stood there a moment, the pair of them panting and Merle wiped his nose. He didn't realise it was bloody until now. Maybe they should have felt bad, taking lives like that, but it was survival now. Those assholes would have come back, both of them knew it. _Us or them..._

Suddenly the sound of the girl's sobs broke through the air and Merle walked over to her. Startling her when he crouched down.

“Hey now girlie, let me see,” he said softly, softer than she had ever heard him talk before. She sat up, sniffling and sobbing softly, tears streaming down her cheeks. Merle grabbed his rag from his back pocket and held it over the cut. It looked worse than it was but he knew it would still hurt. Especially for a dainty little thing like her. Despite killing the men, the rage still sang strong through Daryl's veins and he slammed the door shut, tossing his bow to the floor as he stomped off to the bathroom. When he emerged, he held a small first aid kit. He looked on as Merle held the rag to her throat. He clenched his jaw before walking over to them.

“C’mon Tiny let's get ya to the couch,” he muttered tensely. Her brain was fuzzy, she was in shock and she felt like her brain was malfunctioning, feeling disorientated.

Daryl and Merle helped her to her feet and Daryl lead her to sit on the couch as Merle went to the kitchen to wash his face and clean up his nose. The cut on her throat was like a glaring beacon in the night to him. Mocking him for failing her and he felt his chest constrict painfully.

“I’m gonna move those assholes so they don't attract none of the biters,” Merle announced as he walked out through the door. Daryl glanced at his retreating form before back to the girl. She looked shell shocked and he could hardly blame her. He cleaned her wound, hating how she whimpered and tried to pull away from him, hating how he was hurting her. She kept sniffling, calming down a little as he bandaged her up. He thought having the bandage would help him, not being able to see the wound. But he knew what was under there, he couldn't fucking unsee it.

He leant forward, resting his head in his hands as he ran them through his hair, tugging on it harshly.

“M’sorry,” he lamented, sounding so broken. She frowned as she watched him, blinking slowly. Her eyelashes were soaked and her eyelids felt heavy.

“You didn't do anything,” she whispered, watching as he sat up, his hair sticking up at odd angles after tugging it.

“If I was here…” he started, a deep frown on his face.

“They still would have done it, Daryl,” she said softly, looking down and toying with her hands.

“I thought...I thought they was gonna…” his voice cracked and it was higher than she'd ever heard it before, his chest heaving as he glared at the floor.

“Me too…” she muttered, her hand going to the bandage instinctively. He glanced at her, looking so much like a young boy that it sent an ache through her chest. But as quick at the vulnerability was there, it was gone. A coldness returning to his eyes.

“I ain't letting ya outta my sight now. I don't care if either one of us has to piss, ya stick by me,” his voice was almost a growl and her cheeks flushed, the thought of him being there if she needed the bathroom. But his tone told her not to argue, so she looked down and nodded. She knew he was still blaming himself for this even though he hadn't done a thing wrong. She stood up, making her way to the kitchen table and her heart sank when she saw only a few cans left. She knew Merle would get them back from the man's pack before he did whatever he was doing with them, but it was just a reminder of the ordeal she had been through. It seemed to do the same to Daryl as he stood beside her, glaring at the table with a clenched jaw. She glanced up to him, taking his hand in hers gently. He tensed for a moment, looking at her warily. She squeezed his hand, blinking up at him with those sad green eyes as they filled with tears once more. He felt a lump in his own throat forming. 

His chest heaved as he tried to stuff it down and he turned to face her, his hand winding into the back of her hair, fingers massaging her scalp, soothing where the monster had tugged so harshly just minutes ago. Her eyes were drooping as she looked up at him silently, just taking comfort from his touch.

“Ya should rest,” he rasped, his voice sounding scratchy as he lowered his eyes to the floor, removing his hands from her soft hair reluctantly. She nodded, not wanting to argue. She had been through too much for one day. She walked over to the pull out bed and climbed in it, closing her eyes and willing away the memories of the day. 

Daryl turned around, his jaw set as he squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. He couldn't get the image out of his mind, watching as that bastard touched her like that, hurt her, fucking scared her. It wasn't enough that he was dead. It did little to soothe the flames burning inside of him like a raging inferno. Things had been good and they went to shit so fucking quickly. He knew he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. And like fuck he was making that mistake again. He wasn’t letting her out of his sight no matter what, he wouldn't fail her again.  _ Never a-fuckin’-gain. _


	6. Chapter 6

Daryl watched on mortified, struggling against the hold someone had on him as his eyes were glued on Charlene. The strong arms that held him back prevented him from going to her, helping her as the man stood behind her dragged the blade through her neck, slicing it wide open like a hot knife through butter. The blood spurted anywhere and he cried out, thrashing wildly against his restraints as the girl fell to her knees, unable to breathe as she grasped at her bleeding neck. Finally, the arms holding him let him free and he dove at her, his large hands coming to try and cover the wound, feeling sick at how her warm blood oozed through his fingers. 

“No...please no!” he begged brokenly, tears streaming down his face as he tried so hard to stop the bleeding. Her gasping stopped as he looked into her eyes like a scared child, watching as she blinked at him slowly.

“This is all your fault, Daryl,” she whispered, the voice echoing in his mind as his heart constricted painfully.

Daryl gasped as he shot up on bed, his chest heaving as his dream played on a loop in his mind, taunting him, making him feel sick. He looked beside him to notice an empty bed and his heart stilled, fear gripping him as he jumped out of bed, looking around frantically.

“Charlene?!” he called out, his voice bordering desperate while he ran to the bathroom. The room was empty though and so was Merles room.

“Charlene?!” he called out again, his fear mounting by the second. Be burst out of the front door, only in his vest and jeans, but he stopped still when he saw the girl with Merle outside. His shoulders slumped and he fought the choked sob that was trying to claw its way out, the relief seeping into his bones. She was okay, she was with Merle and she was most definitely alive.

“The fuck Daryl? Ya look like ya about ready to shit ya pants,” Merle cackled as he looked over at him, trying to mask his concern at seeing his brother in such a state. Daryl swallowed thickly, willing the lump away in his throat as he cleared it. As usual, his temper flared, whenever he couldn't get a grip on his negative emotions they morphed into anger, it was just part of being a damn Dixon. He stormed over to the girl with a face like thunder and her eyes widened, stumbling back and almost falling over Merle in the process.

“The hell ya doin’ out here huh?! I told ya last night ya ain't goin’ nowhere without me, ya fuckin’ deaf girl?!” he snarled, unable to quell the fear and rage pulsing through his veins.

“Easy baby brother,” he heard Merle's warning tone from next to them, feeling him grab his arm and move him away a little, coaxing him away from her. Daryl shot a glare his way then and Merle's face was stern. 

Daryl glared at him, jaw set and his nostrils flaring.

“I brought her out here because she had a nightmare. If ya wanna blame anyone, blame me,” Merle said firmly. But there were things his brother didn't say, things he conveyed through a look alone that made Daryl swallow thickly. The look that told him to reign it the fuck in, that he was digging himself a hole and he needed to stop before he dug his own grave. Daryl's eyes flit to the girl then, watching how she glared at the floor, her hands trembling as she toyed with the knife in her hands, one Merle must have given her. He wondered just what the fuck they were doing out here. But he felt it. The guilt, on top of the rage and the fear, because it wasn’t like he had e-fuckin’-nough on his plate right now. What's one more negative emotion?

He couldn't bring himself to apologise to her, to make himself look like a fucking pussy with no conviction, even if he had upset her. Stubborn was in his nature just like his brother and Merle rolled his eyes, knowing his brother wouldn't say a damn thing to make this better.

“I’m goin’ for a piss,” Daryl huffed, but as he took a step back, closer to his brother, his eyes hardened and his voice dropped to a growl.

“Ya better make sure she's safe out here,” with that, he was storming inside and slamming the door behind him, making Charlene jump. Merle watched her a moment, seeing how her hands shook badly as she glared at the floor. He heaved a sigh and shook his head.

“He ain't mean nothin’ by it girlie, he’s just worried is all,” he mused, eyes wandering back to the door where his brother had just been. He had a fleeting thought that maybe it ran deeper than it seemed but he knew better than to go there.

She nodded, the movement a little jerky as she tried to quell the panic rushing around her body. After the night before, she was on edge, easier to scare it seemed. Her hand was clutching the knife so hard her knuckles were turning white.

“We done for now?” Merle asked, knowing the answer already. He had been showing her how to properly hold a knife, and just where to strike if the need came back up for her to get the fuck out of sticky situations. She nodded again, unable to even find her voice and Merle sighed once more. He wanted to clip his brother around his damn ear. He understood after what happened that he was worried. Merle was woken up by her frantic pleas in her sleep and it concerned him. He figured showing her ways to defend herself might ease her worries, so that's why he brought her out here. It seemed to be working, watching her relax a little before his damn brother had to show up and run his mouth off. And here Merle was thinking he was the asshole out of them both. Merle wiped a hand over his face wearily as she handed the knife back to him and he watched her trudge off back inside.

“Way to fuck shit up baby brother,” he sighed, shaking his head. 

Daryl was sat at the dining table, his fist balled up on the table as he clenched and unclenched them like it would somehow ease the tightness in his chest. Charlene walked in and he glanced over to her, watching how she averted her eyes and wouldn't look at him, scurrying off to the sink to wash her hands.  _ Great, now she’s scared of me. _ He inhaled a deep breath, she had no reason to be scared of him, he wanted to keep her safe. He watched her carefully as she stood at the sink, cleaning her hands before she turned around and wiped them on her jeans.

“Sit down,” he said, a little gruffer than intended, but she obeyed anyway, sitting opposite him. He didn't take his eyes off her as she toyed with her hands, her eyes darting anywhere but at him.

“Look, I didn't mean to shout alright? I just...woke up and ya weren't there and I panicked,” he admitted reluctantly, watching as her green eyes finally landed on him. He felt like he stopped breathing for a minute. She looked at him, noticing his was brow furrowed. He looked exhausted, and whilst she didn't appreciate his attitude earlier, she understood tensions were high after what happened. They had all been in danger and both he and his brother had murdered three men in order to keep them all safe. It was a tense situation and she knew she wasn't the only one dealing with shit. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to say it was okay because it wasn't. He shouldn't have shouted at her like that, especially knowing what she had been through. It wasn't okay for him to act like Merle, she thought Daryl knew better than that. But at the same time, she didn't want to say something to make him feel worse, seeing the worry and guilt all over his usually stoic face.

Silence descended on them and it was making Daryl's skin crawl. He knew he had messed up and it felt like the lack of words from the girl was suffocating him. Merle walked in and Daryl didn't think he’d ever been so relieved to see his damn brother. A distraction, a chance to change the fucking subject.

“We ain’t as safe as we thought out here,” he said gruffly, missing how Charlene tensed at that realisation, blinking at him as he looked at his brother.

“I know. The wire might keep those biters out, but it sure as fuck does nothin’ for the livin’,” Merle huffed, joining them at the table, his face serious. They were silent for a moment as the girl looked from one to another, watching the cogs in their minds turning before Merle looked back at Daryl.

“Ya thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’ little brother?” he asked, a sly smirk creeping onto his face.

“Yeah,” Daryl rasped with a nod. Charlene had no idea what they were thinking but didn't bring herself to ask.

A few hours later and she was sat on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her as she watched the brothers at work at the table. They were making some sort of traps or snares, or something. She had no idea what they were and she had a feeling they weren't so much for the animals that might come around here. They were creative, smarter than she thought they were as they made the traps out of trash they had found out back and odd ends and bits they found around the cabin. Once they were done, Merle went out to set them around the fence, not even needing to talk to his brother to know he had no intentions of leaving her alone in the cabin.

That night, Daryl lay on his back in bed, the girl lay facing away from him. They hadn’t spoken much since earlier and he regretted his outburst, regretting his temper. He couldn't sleep. What happened to her was god awful but his dream had been his worst nightmare and just the thought of reliving that made bile rise to his throat. Apparently, she was having the same issue as he heard her huff an irritated sigh and she rolled over facing him. He glanced over to her and she looked up at him, her green eyes shining through the darkness at him. They just watched each other for a second as he felt his heart rate pick up before he looked away, unable to stand her looking at him so openly like that.

“Ya need sleep,” he huffed, needing to just say anything to break the tense silence between them.

“I’m scared,” she admitted with a sigh, hating how weak she felt after what happened, how rattle it had got her.

Daryl chewed his lower lip, he didn't like that she was scared, she didn't need to be.

“Don't have to be, I’m here,” he rasped into the darkness, voicing his thoughts. His words did ease her a little. He was there and he did make her feel safe. He had burst into the cabin like the Kool-aid guy at the right time and God knows what would have happened to her and Merle if he hadn't. But that did little to ease her fear of sleeping, where he wasn't there to save her from her own brain. She scooted a little closer, laying her cheek against his muscular arm. He tensed up but said nothing, laying stock still as he held his breath. She breathed him in, letting his scent soothe her, like a security blanket, easing her nerves. 

He felt like he couldn't breathe, she was barely touching him, but it had been that long since he had any contact at all, he felt like he was drowning in it. The silence came back and he was sure she could hear his heart beating so hard in his chest, like a wild hummingbird trying to escape.

“I caught a deer that night,” he muttered, unsure why he was telling her since it didn't matter anymore, but the words came out all the same. She turned her big eyes up to him then and he swallowed thickly, looking away.

“You did?” she smiled, making his heart twinge, she sounded almost proud and it made him feel all kinds of things.

“Yeah, had to leave it behind though,” he sighed, remembering how he had to toss their potential food to run and save them. It was worth it though, he would have chopped off one of his own damn legs if it meant he would save her. 

“Do you think it's still out there?” she asked curiously, moving away a little to lay her head back on the pillow looking at him. His arm felt cold immediately and he hated the loss of the feeling.

“Could be, if the biters ain't got to it yet,” he mumbled, trying to clear his head from the fog she seemed to have him in. She was so fucking close to him that he could smell her sweet scent and he felt like his throat was closing up.

“Maybe you could check tomorrow, take me with you?” she asked hopefully. She thought the cabin was safe so she hadn't had any desire to leave before now, but she wasn't so sure now she was any safer inside of here. He hummed, thinking about it. He wasn't sure if he wanted her out there but he was thinking just as she was, how in here wasn't that safe anymore either. He had been stupid thinking it was in the first place. His brother hadn’t lied about how people had turned into the worst versions of themselves these days.

Silence overcame them but this time it felt lighter, not awkward like before. After a moment he glanced over, seeing her eyes shut as her breathing evened out as she slept, so fucking close to him that if he moved he’d end up touching her. So he stayed dead still, closing his own eyes and letting her scent overtake his nostrils. He couldn't even pinpoint just what she smelt like. Like a meadow? He didn't fucking know. But it was calming his shot nerves and he felt himself slipping off into a deep sleep. 


	7. Chapter 7

“Are we almost there yet?” Charlene whined, her feet protesting with each step she took. They had stayed at the cabin for almost two weeks until their supplies startled to dwindle. The brothers had decided it was time to leave, whilst they still had some things to take with them. It didn't make much sense to wait until they ran out to leave, then they’d be walking back to the truck for a couple of days with no food or water. So they had packed what they had left between their three packs, and Daryl had discreetly made sure Charlene's was the lightest. The last thing they needed was her falling over and getting stuck on her back like a damn turtle. 

It was dark outside and Charlene kept falling over tree roots, stones, her own fucking feet. Everything seemed creepier at night, she couldn't see a thing and every noise had her gasping and jumping. It was Merle’s great idea to trek through the night, to keep pushing on so they could hurry to the truck and bike. Daryl hadn't agreed, he thought they should rest up. He knew Charlene would get tired, she seemed to get tired easy trying to keep up with him and his brother.

“Be there around daybreak,” Merle huffed, sick of the same question every ten minutes. He was at the back, taking up the rear whilst Daryl walked up front with his bow at the ready. Charlene was in between them, safe in her little bubble of Dixon. She tripped over again, tumbling into Daryl's back as her hands gripped his sides. He tensed up, glancing over his shoulder.

“Y’alright?” he rasped, watching as she righted herself again with a sigh. She let go of his sides and he ignored how he felt the loss. Their time at the cabin had spoiled him a little with her closeness. Sharing a bed with her every night, even if he didn't touch her. It was like it was second nature for him now to be right next to her and anytime she was further away, he hated it. He had been true to his word about not letting her out of his sight. He followed her everywhere and it had gotten a little too far when he tried to follow her to the bathroom when she needed to pee. He had argued with her, not getting what the big deal was. And after she promptly shut the door in his face, he had sat next to Merle brooding something fierce. It was embarrassing that it took his brash brother to explain simply what the issue was, that his protectiveness had clouded his judgement that much.

~

_ “Didn’t peg ya for havin’ that kinda kink,” Merle had cackled, making Daryl look at him with a scowl. _

_ “The fuck ya talkin’ about?” he huffed, glaring at him. _

_ “Shit, I thought ya had more game than that little brother. She's a girl, she ain’t gonna whip her pants off and piss right in front of ya. If ya need me to tell ya that then maybe it’s been far too long since ya been with a woman,” Merle had snorted at him, making his cheeks flush as he realised how fucking stupid he was being. _

_ ~ _

“It’s too dark,” she complained, glancing around in the complete darkness like she was waiting for something to pop out and get her. Daryl chewed on his lower lip, his own eyes glancing around. He didn't have much of an issue seeing in the dark but she clearly did, she was falling over every five minutes and now it was slowing them down.

“Maybe we should set up camp, just rest and start again tomorrow. Can't see shit out here,” Daryl suggested, looking at his brother through the darkness.

“I can see just fine and I sure as shit know  _ you _ can too. Its little miss here that can’t see shit,” Merle snorted. Charlene huffed, folding her arms over her chest, he wasn't exactly wrong but it didn't mean she liked it.

“Don't matter does it? She can't see and she's tired so we need to fuckin’ camp out,” Daryl glared, not noticing Charlene now squinting at him, the way they were both talking about her like she wasn't there, noticing just how much she couldn't keep up with them.

“We’re not campin’ out little brother, I ain’t gonna tell ya again. We push through, we’ll be there in a few hours. Feel free to give girlie a piggyback or somethin’, but we ain’t stoppin’,” Merle argued, glaring at his brother with hard eyes, letting him know that was final. Daryl glowered at his brother, a tense silence overtaking them as Charlene looked around nervously. Daryl ran his tongue over his lower lip before tossing his bow at Merle. He only just about caught it and gave him a dirty look for acting like a child. Merle was about the only person Daryl trusted with his bow and he knew his brother knew how to use it. Daryl took off his pack then, tossing it to his brother's feet, still glaring at him. He crouched down and Charlene just blinked at the back of his head.

“Hurry the fuck up Tiny, get on,” he huffed. She heaved a sigh as she got on his back, squeaking down his ear as he stood, his arms hooked around her legs. She tightened her hold around his neck, the sides of their heads touching and Daryl tried so fucking hard to ignore the closeness, how she felt wrapped around his body like that.

Merle slung Daryl's pack over his shoulder as he started walking, bow in hand. Daryl trudged off after him, trying to keep up with the weight of the girl. She didn't weigh that much but it was still more than what he was used to with his bow and pack. They walked in silence, both brothers alert and tense as they navigated easily through the woods. Charlene suddenly felt like she weighed even more and he side glanced at her, he couldn't really see her though. A soft snore left her lips and he found his own lips tugging into a small smile, knowing she had fallen asleep on him. Hopefully, she’d get a decent rest and he would wake her when they got to the truck.

“Lookin’ a little happy their brother, somethin’ ya wanna share with the group?” Merle smirked obnoxiously, looking over at his brother. Daryl cursed inwardly that his brother had seen him smile, hoping to fuck he couldn't see as he felt the tips of his ears burning bright. A scowl etched on his face then as he continued to stomp through the woods, a little harder than necessary.

“Don’t know what ya talkin’ about,” he huffed, not even sparing his brother a glance. 

“Shit, ain’t nothin’ wrong with enjoyin’ the feel of a woman Darlina. Maybe we could trade off soon?” Merle snorted suggestively. Daryl clenched his jaw, if his arms weren't currently occupied holding Charlene's legs, he would have probably punched him with the rage that shot through his body at a simple comment.

“Ain’t happenin’,” he growled, pushing through to walk ahead a little.

“Aw c’mon now, that shits unfair. Ya can’t be selfish, keepin’ her all to yaself!” Merle cackled, clearly not so concerned with being loud. Merle jogged to catch up to him, glancing at his brother and his tense posture as he walked.

“Shit little brother, I was just fuckin’ with ya. I know better by now, I ain’t gonna try and steal ya woman,” he smirked to himself, knowing he was getting under Daryl's skin.

_ The fuck does that mean? _ Daryl wasn't sure what irked him more, the fact Merle called her his woman or the fact he had insinuated he could steal her away if he wanted to. 

“She ain’t my woman,” he replied tersely, still not looking at his brother.

“Uh huh, whatever ya say…” Merle grinned to himself, knowing his vague response would only bother his brother more. Thankfully Merle shut his mouth after that and they continued their walk in silence, watching out for threats from the dead or the living as they tried to make their way back to the truck.

It was just starting to get light outside when Charlene stirred on his back. She had slept for a couple of hours as he carried her and his arms were starting to burn like a motherfucker. He didn't want to say anything though, to look weak and have Merle say something to embarrass him. He also quite liked having her so close to him, feeling her pressed against him like this. He wasn't sure when he would get this chance again. She blinked her tired eyes, lifting her head as she glanced around trying to get her bearings.

“You can let me down,” she said softly, her sweet voice tickling his ear and he had to suppress a shiver at the tingles that ran through his entire body. He stopped, crouching a little as she slipped off him and he turned to look at her as she yawned and rubbed her eyes. She looked fucking adorable and he was fighting a smile, he didn't need his brother catching him smiling down at her like some fucking idiot and calling him out again. Things would get really fucking embarrassing.

She glanced up at him and gave him a little smile and it made his heart beat all funny, unable to look away from her pretty tired face.

“Thanks for carrying me,” she said quietly, trying to keep her voice down so she didn't attract trouble.

“Ain’t nothin’,” he shrugged, ignoring the burning in his arms as he chewed his thumb. They just stood there somewhat awkwardly, not really knowing what to say before Merle looked over from where he was a few feet away.

“Almost there, c’mon!” he ordered gruffly. Daryl rolled his eyes before trudging off after him with the girl by his side.

It was less than half an hour later when they finally made it out through the clearing near the back of the store.

“Finally!” Charlene sighed dramatically, so happy to be out of the woods, to be able to sit down soon in the truck. Daryl snorted and shook his head lightly as he glanced at her. Sure enough, the truck was still there with the bike strapped on the back.

“Ya ridin’ the bike?” Daryl asked as he looked at his brother.  _ Please say yes, please say yes…  _ He really hoped for some peace, for Merle to not be in the truck so he could just enjoy Charlene's presence without his brother shooting him sly smirks.

“Nah, I’ll ride in the truck for a little bit, saves the gas,” Merle mused as he scratched his chin thoughtfully. Daryl had a sneaking feeling though it was more just to be a pain in his ass. Charlene didn't seem to give any fucks though as she hopped up and climbed into the truck, letting her feet stop aching. Despite her sleep on Daryl, she was still exhausted.

She rummaged around in her pack, grabbing out some tinned soup as she used the can opener she had in her pocket, the one from the cabin. She opened it as she looked out of the window at the brothers who were talking. She couldn't hear what was being said but Daryl didn't look happy in the least. She slurped some of the soup, grimacing at how it tasted when cold. She just sat there waiting for the boys to get in so they could go wherever it was they were planning on going.

“If ya think for one fuckin’ minute ya gettin’ in the truck after ya just popped some damn pills, ya more insane than I thought!” Daryl snapped, trying to keep his voice down so he didn't worry the girl.

“Calm the fuck down Darlina. It ain't the same shit, it’s fine,” Merle sighed, looking like he was bored with the conversation.

“I don't give a fuck what it is, I ain't havin’ ya so close to her when ya high on more than weed,” Daryl growled, glaring holes into his brother. Merle watched him for a minute before he pursed his lips. There wasn't much he could do, the pills were in his system and he couldn't be bothered having a fucking fight. He shook his head with a huff as he hopped into the bed of the truck next to his bike, flopping to sit ungracefully.

Daryl eyed him for a minute warily, unnerved by the lack of fight from his brother, but he knew to count his blessings. He climbed into the truck and shut the door, chancing a glance at the girl who was slurping soup out of a can like a cup of coffee.

“Wheres Merle?” she asked, furrowing her brow a little. He didn't know how to feel about that. Part of him was annoyed why she was asking about his brother whilst the other part of him found it endearing she was giving his piece of shit brother the time of day, more than most people had ever given either of them.

“Sat in the back,” he replied vaguely, making her squint at him, her slurping seizing for a moment.

“He's high isn't he?” she sighed, catching Daryl off guard by how perceptive she was.

“Yeah, won't be a problem though,” he insisted, levelling his gaze on hers. He was trying to convey without words, because he sucked ass at forming words, that she didn't need to worry, he would keep her safe. The look must have worked because she just nodded, tearing her eyes away from him as she continued slurping some more. The noise would have grated on him if it was anyone else but annoyingly, even her slurping was cute.  _ Turnin’ into a fuckin’ pussy in a chick flick. _

“Want some?” she asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. He blinked at her for a moment before to the can. He just nodded and she smiled, handing it to him. He finished what was left in a few long gulps and tossed the can out of the window he opened. 

“Let's go!” he heard Merle call from the back, smacking the roof of the truck as he clearly got impatient with them not going anywhere. Daryl rolled his eyes as he started up the truck and peeled out of the parking lot.

“Where are we going?” she asked softly, giving him that fucking look again like he knew exactly what he was doing.

“Merle wants to try for the highway, to Atlanta,” he shrugged, once again following orders off his big brother. She didn't say anything, just nodding as she got comfy in her seat, just grateful to be a little safer than out there in the woods. Daryl chewed his lower lip, glancing at her every now and then. He wondered just what they would find in Atlanta. Would it be safe? Shelter? He fucking hoped so, for her more than anything. He didn't know just how bad all of this was. Was it all over the country? The world? He hoped not. He wondered idly about a cure but then realised optimism never got him anywhere. He better prepare for the worst, that way he would be ready for anything and wouldn't be disappointed. He knew the pretty little thing next to him probably thought the opposite. Probably hoped there would be safety and a way out of this. He wouldn't tell her otherwise if that's what she wanted to believe, if that's what would make her feel better. He would prepare for the both of them, because Lord knows he wouldn't be leaving her side no matter what they found in Atlanta.


	8. Chapter 8

**Since we don't know solids on the ages of the characters, I’m guessing here. I know in real life, it's like 14 years for the actors, but Daryl mentions Merle was in juvie when he got lost in the woods as a young boy, so I'm just making shit up here. I’m putting the age gap as 8 years because it's my story and I can looool. I put a lot of effort into researching shit for my stories, even to the point of looking into him in Survival Instinct because there's a lot about him from before what we see in the show and I pride myself on getting things right. But sometimes, ya gotta make shit up, alright? :’)**

**\------------------------------**

****  
  


Daryl sat in the front of the truck, head in his hands as his chest heaved, trying desperately not to let the tears fall. It felt like someone ripped his beating heart right from his chest and stomped all over it and he was struggling to reign it in. Ignoring the dead that were slapping at the windows, looking at him like he was their next meal. It had only been one fucking day since they got back to the truck. He didn't know how things managed to go ass upwards so fucking easy. But then again, of course he did. Merle. It was always fucking Merle somehow.

~

_ Daryl was driving through some kind of ghost town, it was eery and empty as he drove down the road, past some stores. Charlene was snoring softly, her head leaning against the glass of the window. He kept stealing glances at her every so often, just enjoying being able to admire her without an audience. Some movement in his rearview caught his eye and he squinted, watching as his brother was stood in the bed of the truck. He was tugging on his jacket like something was on him. _

_ “The fuck?” Daryl muttered, trying to watch where he was going and look back at Merle. Without warning his stupid fucking brother flung himself from the moving truck. Daryl slammed on the brakes, the tyres squealing as Charlene flew forward, her head connecting with the dash as a pained cry left her lips. Daryl's eyes widened, he didn't know which way was fucking up. With Merle flinging himself from the truck and now he had just injured the girl. _

_ “Shit, are ya alright?!” he asked, looking panicked as he glanced through the window, seeing his brother rolling around the pavement like he was on fire. What the fuck was going on? _

_ “Huh?” she asked, blinked dazed as she gingerly touched her head. Daryl blanched when he realised he had cut her head, a little trickle of blood just above her eyebrow. He wasn't sure what to do, he needed to see what the fuck was wrong with Merle before the biters got him, but he felt bad at leaving her there when he’d just fucking conked her head on the dash. _

_ “Just...Fuckin’ stay here!” he said firmly, hopping out of the truck and running over to his brother. _

_ “The fuck Merle?!” he hissed, grabbing him as his brother tried to shove him away frantically for a minute. _

_ “Daryl? Fuck Daryl! Put it out man! I’m gonna burn to death!” Merle yelled alarmed, making Daryl shake his head bewildered. _

_ “Put what out? There ain’t a damn thing there!” he growled, yanking him up to his feet.  _

_ Merle was sweating, glancing at himself before he relaxed just a little. Daryl squinted at him as it all clicked. _

_ “Merle...Do  _ **_not_ ** _ fuckin’ tell me this is a bad trip,” he seethed, clenching his jaw. _

_ “Must have been. That fuckin’ LSD...thought I was on fire,” Merle panted, he’d worked himself up with the panic. Daryl growled, shoving him hard. _

_ “Acid?! Ya fuckin’ took acid in the middle of the damn apocalypse?! Ya want to get us killed?!” he roared, unable to comprehend just how stupid his brother could be. Merle wasn't even looking at him though, looking at the floor wearily as he glanced about. _

_ “I think we need to get inside ‘fore all these weird-ass spiders get us.” He muttered, shaking his leg like one was on him. Daryl squeezed his eyes shut, inhaling deeply as he tried to squash the urge to deck his brother. _

_ “What's going on?” he heard from behind of him, turning to see Charlene, not listening to his demand that she stay put, now stood right there. Today was a bag of shit and then some.  _

_ “I told ya to wait in the damn truck girl,” he growled. She didn't seem fazed though as she held a rag she had found in the truck to her head. Her whole head was pounding and Daryl noticed she looked a little pale.  _ **_Good goin’, ya’ve probably give her fuckin’ brain damage…_ ** _ He needed a moment to think, and spotting some dead in the distance didn't help any. His brother was having a bad trip and the girl was injured.  _

_ “Inside, now!” he ordered gruffly as he grabbed Merle and helped him into the store just over the road. When he got him inside, he dropped him to the floor without a care and left his brother grumbling to himself. Charlene walked in and sat on the counter, watching warily as Daryl walked over. _

_ “Let me see,” he sighed, grabbing her chin and tilting it a little. She winced, squeezing her eyes closed as she tried to turn her head from his grasp. He didn't let go though. _

_ “What's that noise?” she muttered, screwing her eyes tight as she shook her head a little. It worried Daryl that there was no noise, he had probably fucking concussed her. _

_ “Shit girl, m’sorry,” he lamented, finally letting go of her chin. Her head was hurting and she felt weird, he was still stood between her legs and she lay her head on his shoulder. He tensed a little, feeling guilty as shit for doing this to her. _

_ “I’m gonna get ya some water,” he said softly, easing her off his shoulder and trying not to look at how she looked disorientated or in pain. He glanced around, noticing their packs were all still in the damn truck. So was his bow. He growled to himself before he looked over to his brother who was slumped against the wall, looking pale and worn out. _

_ “I need to grab our shit, both of ya just stay here,” he ordered as he strode to the door, casting a wary glance at them both. He left quickly and ran across the street where the truck was. It wasn't wise to stay here and he’d get them both back in the damn truck soon enough. He hopped inside, rummaging for the bags and grabbing his bow, but then he heard it. Biters, a lot of them. His eyes darted to the rearview mirror and his heart stopped dead in his chest as he saw a fucking hoard seeming to materialise out of nowhere. He shut his door quickly, his heart thumping painfully in his chest as he glanced over to the store. The door was closed but he hadn't been able to lock it since he was out here and he doubted Merle or Charlene would with their mental states. He didn't know what to do. The dead were right there, ambling down the street, and if he got out and ran into the store, it would lead them right to them and he knew his brother and the girl were in no state to run from a group this big. _

_ He held his breath as the dead started to walk by the truck, staying completely still so they didn't know he was in there. He squeezed his eyes shut, breathing slow and deep, hoping to fuck they would all just walk on by and then they could leave in the other direction. There was so many of them, he hadn't ever seen a group of them this big before and he was shitting himself if he was honest, how their groans filled his ears as they walked past the truck. He heard a noise that wasn't the dead and he furrowed his brow, wondering what it was and why it seemed to register in his mind, like he had heard it before. He heard it again and his heart dropped. It was the glass. He turned to look out of the window, he couldn't see through all the dead walking by but then he heard the glass shatter, and he knew it was the large glass window from the store.  _

_ “Shit. Shit shit shit!” he hissed, grabbing his bow and not knowing what to do. He couldn't just dive out of the fucking car with so many of the dead pricks right there by the truck. He couldn't even see what was going on, the truck was on the other side of the street and the dead were creating a thick barrier. _

_ He heard a gun go off, making his blood run cold as he tried so fucking hard to see what was going on. The adrenaline was running through his veins as his heart thumped hard against his chest. He couldn't see shit and he had no hope of getting to them, or them to him with the hoard in the way. All he could do was fucking wait and hope to god they got away.  _

_ ~ _

It felt like hours until the dead finally moved on, only a few stragglers left behind. Now he could see, his stomach clenched painfully seeing the large front window gone, shards of glass everywhere. He hopped out of the truck, dodging the few remaining biters as he ran over frantically. He fought the urge to call out for them yet, not wanting to draw any more attention from the dead. He burst inside, eyes scanning the area as dread settled in his stomach. 

There wasn't any blood, and that was a good thing, but there was no sign of either of them and he didn't know what the fuck to think. He searched the small store, finding nothing at all. There wasn't another exit or any other way to get out and he wasn't sure if they had somehow got out the broken window and dodged the dead or... _don’t go there, not even thinkin’ that shit._ He swallowed thickly, running back to the safety of the truck and slamming the door. Trying to figure out what the fuck to do now. They were gone. Just fucking gone and he wasn't sure how to find them, if there was even anything left to find. 

His chest felt tight as he tried to push the emotions away. He needed to find them, they had to be out there somewhere. She had no one but his brother to keep her safe. His brother who was high as fuck and on a bad trip. And she was injured. They didn't even have their packs, they had no food or water. They had nothing. His chest hurt the more he thought about it, knowing he needed to find them as soon as he could. If they did manage to get out, they were on bided time with the state they were both in and no supplies. He didn't like the thought of her being left with his brother alone either when his brother wasn't in his right mind.

He wiped his eyes, stuffing his feelings right down so he could get his head on right, trying to think of where they could have gone. It was just a long road with a few stores and some houses. There were only two ways they could have gone. But the problem was if Daryl chose the wrong way, it would take him in the opposite direction than his brother and the girl. He hated how this had to happen, like enough shit hadn't happened already, now they had to deal with this. He scratched the scruff on his chin a minute, eyes darting either way. Being sat here with his thumbs up his ass wouldn't help any either, he just had to pick one and hope to fuck that he picked the right way.

A thought hit him then, well more like a memory, one that was so painful it made him feel raw but it might have been the only clue as to how to find them.

~

_ “I don’t wanna go Merle!” a young Daryl whined, his wide blue eyes looking fearful at his older brother. A 5-year-old Daryl was terrified, hearing the sound of his mother being beaten in the bedroom. Begging and pleading for forgiveness as his father screamed at her, calling her so many names that Daryl didn't even understand. _

_ “I ain't askin’ little brother,” Merle growled, grabbing the scruff of his shirt and dragging him from the house. Daryl was too young to understand just why his brother was doing this, that he was protecting him.  _

_ “How am I gonna find ya?” Daryl squeaked, looking imploringly at his older brother. _

_ “Follow the sun for a few minutes and wait, I’ll come find ya baby brother,” Merle said softly as he gave him a little shove. Daryl nodded, making his way into the woods behind their old rickety house. He followed the sun for a few minutes like his brother had said, and then he sat hugging his knees against a tree. He wiped his eyes and sniffled, shaking his long light brown hair from his face. Sure enough, Merle did find him. He wasn't really sure how long had passed as he sat there waiting, shivering in the cold. But Merle came for him, lifting him up and carrying him home once it was safe. _

_ ~ _

Follow the sun. He wasn't sure if Merle even remembered that. Daryl had no choice, it seemed that every little thing that happened in his life was stored away in his brain, coming back to haunt him when the time came. This time it may have actually been useful though, he wasn't certain but it seemed good enough to start. He started the truck's engine, pulling out slowly as he headed in the direction of the sun. now he just had to figure out where the hell they would be hiding. If they even made it out that was.

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**If you’ve read this and also my poll or Tumblr post, I don't want you getting confused. This isn't the separation I was referring to. That would be Charlene on her own and for a little longer than this one turns out to be. Just to clear that up.**

**If you aren’t on Tumblr and have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m talking about[this poll](https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/F7MF9J8) I made. If you wanna read why I’m making it, go find me on Tumblr. I’m Crossbows-and-Moonshine**


	9. Chapter 9

** If anyone's interested in how Charlene looks in my head, I made a drawing of her and Daryl in my weird cartoon style. It's over on [my Tumblr, Crossbows-and-Moonshine](https://crossbows-and-moonshine.tumblr.com/post/186381564748/so-im-not-just-a-writer-im-also-actually-a) **

** \-------------------- **

“We should go look for him Merle,” Charlene sighed, glancing to him from where she sat perched on the window ledge.

“No, we should stay here. If we go out there and look for him, we might miss him. I know my brother. He’s out there lookin’ for us. So we just wait here ‘til he finds us,” Merle replied firmly.

“But how will he know we’re here?” she frowned, hating the idea of Daryl out there alone in the dark.

“Trust me, he knows which way to go, and when it leads him here, he’ll know,” was all Merle said before skulking off to the other bedroom. They were in one of the houses in a row full of them. She didn't remember much about getting here. After Daryl had left to get the water for her, she had passed out. The next thing she knew she was tossed over Merle's shoulder as he was hollering and hooting, shooting a swarm of the dead as he hauled her ass out of there. She blacked out again and then she was here. She knew it was a concussion and she hoped it would go away soon. It was hard enough surviving these days without this to add to it.

Merle had given her a box of graham crackers to munch on, the house had a few things in it to keep them going until Daryl hopefully got here. She hoped he had been in his truck when the dead came, that he hadn't been out there and they... _ no _ . He had to be out there and he had to be looking for them, although she really didn't know how Merle could be so sure he knew where to go. She sat with her head pressed against the glass looking out, hoping to see some sign of him. She knew he had the truck but the darkness in the sky betrayed how many hours had passed, despite her lack of memory. She wasn't sure just how long he had to stay hidden in the truck, how many hours they had on him. She was under strict instruction not to leave the first floor. Merle had secured the place but he said it was better to be safe than sorry. It was safer up here, so that's where they were. Thankfully his high had worn off and now he was thinking clearly. She had to hand it to him, for being a drug-using asshole, he saved her life and he had been nothing but good to her since she woke up here. Making sure she drank and ate, constantly asking how her head was.

A faint noise roused her from her sleepy state and she lifted her head, listening as the noise got closer. It was the rumbling of a bike.

“Merle!” she yelled, causing him to burst in the bedroom looking panicked. 

“What girl?” he asked with a glare. But then he heard it too, rushing to the window to look out as a motorcycle slowly rode down the street, the light off. He couldn't make out the bike or who was on it but he hoped it was his brother. He didn't put too much on it though, it could have been anyone or someone could have robbed his brother blind.

“Stay here,” he demanded before leaving and heading down the stairs.

Daryl was exhausted. He hadn't stopped his search since the dead had left and he felt like he was running on fumes. He couldn't give up, he couldn't put another moment of potential distance between them. He had been going down the street, looking in every damn house or store he found hoping to find them or a trace of them, but he found nothing. He had parked the truck in a garage at a house after he had cleared it, giving him somewhere to go back to if he needed to sleep, if he didn't find them. That wasn't an option though. And he got on Merle's bike to make it easier for him as he carried on his search down the street. He felt like his eyes were playing tricks on him and he stopped the bike. Just sat on it in the middle of the street as he blinked wearily. 

“Merle?” he whispered, looking at his brothers leather vest with the wings dangling off what looked to be a flag pole on a house. 

His heart seized in his chest, trying not to get his hopes up. Someone could have taken it off his brother's dead body and that thought filled him with an intense pain through his chest. He pulled the bike up at the house, climbing off as he tried to calm his rapidly beating heart. 

“Merle?” he called out as he got to the door. He heard something being moved from behind the door and he held his breath, hoping to fuck it was his brother on the other side. When the door opened, relief flooded his body as he saw Merle with a shit-eating grin on his face. Merle tugged his arm, yanking him inside before shutting the door and giving him a bone-crushing hug. Daryl hadn't ever been one for being touched but damn if it didn't feel good to hug his brother after thinking he might have been dead.

“Shit Merle...I thought ya...fuck…” he muttered, clutching onto his brother like the little boy he once was. When Merle moved away, he scoffed and shook his head.

“Thought I was dead? I’m offended, give me a little more credit,” he laughed, making Daryl snort and shake his head at him.

“Ya was high as fuck last I saw ya and Charlene...Fuck Charlene! Is she-” he started to panic and his brother could see it all over his face.

“She’s fine. She's upstairs. Ya got her good on the head though, she keeps passin’ out on me. Had to grab her and haul ass outta that place,” he frowned, he was worried about her if he was honest, her head was causing her a lot of problems.

Daryl was about to say something when he heard someone bounding down the stairs. He looked in time to see the girl as she barrelled over to him, catching him off guard as she wrapped her arms around his middle and squeezed him. He blinked, not sure what to do at first, but feeling her, fucking seeing her after everything, it was like a switch flipped in his mind for a moment. His arms seemed to have a mind of their own as they came around her, a hand burying into her hair as he held her close, letting it soothe him. He pushed his nose into her hair, letting that weird meadow scent she somehow seemed to have consume him, reassuring him she was okay. He fought the lump in his throat, he wasn't about to break down in front of either of them, no matter how emotional he felt.

“I told ya he’d find us!” Merle grinned gleefully from beside them. Daryl moved away and cleared his throat, the moment gone now as he glanced at her, not really knowing how to feel as she sniffled and wiped her eyes. He didn't understand why she would be so happy to see him, maybe because without him her chances of survival went down.

“I still don't understand how,” Charlene muttered, shaking her head incredulously as she looked over to the older brother. 

“He followed the sun, that's how,” Merle smirked, clapping his brother on the back and jostling him a little. Daryl shot him a wary look but Merle wouldn't look at him. He was shocked his brother remembered if he was honest. It was always easy to think Merle didn't remember or it never affected him like it did with Daryl, but clearly, he was wrong. Charlene looked at them both quizzically before shrugging. She had given up trying to understand the enigma’s that were the Dixon brothers. 

“The trucks just a little ways up the road. I secured a place. We should head out soon, no idea if the hoard is still in the area,” Daryl said, his face serious again as he looked at Merle.

“Yeah. We should stay the night here though, no need bustin’ our asses through the night and ‘sides, little miss here still has a hell of a concussion. Need to keep an eye on her,” Merle said, shooting her a look and she squinted at him. They always did this, talk about her like she wasn't right there. He wasn't really wrong though. She was well aware her head took quite a hit. As if he only just remembered, Daryl looked at her, noticing the gash on her head. There was a bump and bruise now and he felt the pang of guilt.

“How is it?” he frowned, stepping closer to her as he tilted her head to look at it better. Unaware of how she held her breath, feeling so fucking close to him and feeling dizzy because of it.

“Looks worse than it is,” she gave him a toothy grin but he knew it was bullshit. Merle had told him she kept passing out.

“Alright, I’m gonna head to bed. I secured the place up nice, got a few tripwires around the doors. We could all sleep, we’ll need it,” Merle sighed before he trudged off upstairs to the room he had claimed, relaxed now his baby brother was back. Daryl didn't even argue. With all the searching and the drama of the day, he was fucking exhausted and if he had any hope of them getting to Atlanta, he’d need to rest up.

“Come on, I’ll show you our room,” Charlene smiled up at him, gripping his wrist as she tugged him along. Daryl blinked dumbly, her words pinging around his brain on repeat.  _ Our room? What are we, an old married couple?  _ He was confused why she was presuming he would be sharing with her. He thought back to the cabin. Maybe it was because they shared a bed every night then. Maybe she enjoyed his company as much as he enjoyed hers, how it soothed him at night being close to her. He was in his own head so much he didn't even fight her as she dragged him along and suddenly he was stood in a bedroom, glancing around. There was only one bed, confirming his thoughts that she wanted to share, yet he still couldn't understand why the fuck she would want to share a bed with his redneck ass if it wasn't needed.

He stood there still, just blinking at her as she pulled her boots off and climbed under the covers. 

“What's wrong?” she asked, her brow furrowing as she sat up. He hadn't spoken or moved for what felt like forever. 

“I...uh...nothin’...” he huffed, shaking himself out of his stupor as he toed his boots off. He licked his lower lip as he got into the other side of the bed, trying to keep a wide berth between them. She lay back down and faced him, giving him that little smile that made him feel like jello.

“I’m glad you found us, I was really worried you wouldn't. I was scared...that you weren't in the truck when all the dead came,” she whispered, a deep frown etched on her face and Daryl fought the urge to reach over and smooth it out from her pretty little face.

“Thought the same about you and Merle, to be honest. Didn’t know if I was searchin’ for nothin’,” he admitted, his voice low as he tried to avoid her shiny green eyes. Things were getting too intense, too fucking soppy for his own liking despite the fact he was feeling just as emotional as she was. 

When he finally did meet her eyes though, she looked so worn out and he was once again reminded of her injury.

“Just sleep. Need to get rid of that concussion,” he muttered, needing some fucking distance before he turned into mush. Feelings made you weak, he didn't want fucking feelings and this girl was making him feel all kinds of shit.

“Okay, night Daryl.” she said, a tiny smile on her face. She leant up to kiss his cheek, she wasn't sure why, but it just happened anyway. Maybe it was thinking he was dead, maybe it was just her being grateful to be next to him, that he kept her safe. But she regretted it the second she tried it when he shoved her away, looking at her with wide eyes.

“The fuck was that?!” he asked, looking panic-stricken almost at just a kiss on the cheek. It made her feel incredibly awkward and her cheeks flushed as she sat up, looking back at him embarrassed.

“It was just a kiss on the cheek! It doesn't matter, I’m sorry,” she lamented, not understanding why he was freaking out, but it was making _her_ freak out. She jumped out of the bed and scooped up her shoes, making him sit up frowning.

“Where the fuck are ya goin’?” he asked roughly. Nothing was making sense. _What in the ever loving fuck is happenin' right now?_

“I’m just gonna stay with Merle,” she muttered, scurrying to the door. 

Daryl's eyes widened as he dove off the bed, grasping her wrist to stop her from leaving. Merle?! She was going to go and sleep in Merle's fucking bed?! Did she lose her damn mind? When the fuck did his brother become the lesser of two evils?

“Ya don’t have to fuckin’ leave alright? M’sorry I freaked out,” he frowned, his cheeks turning a shade of pink at his admission. He didn’t really know why he freaked out. She only went to kiss his cheek. But when she was leaning over to him, being so fucking close to him like that, his heart exploded right in his chest and he just freaked the fuck out.

“It's fine. I’m making you uncomfortable and I don't wanna do that. I don't know if its just me, or maybe you're like gay or something-” she started rambling again, just like the day at the cabin when she offended him.

“ _ Gay _ ?! Ya think I’m fuckin’ gay?!” he practically shrieked, looking all kinds of mortified that she was standing there saying she thought he was gay. Her eyes widened as her cheeks blushed harder, gripping her shoes in her hand tightly as she lowered her gaze.

“There's nothing wrong with it Daryl. You don't have to be ashamed,” she muttered, unable to even look at him. 

Her words had transported him back to his 18th birthday. It wasn’t like she did it on purpose, it wasn't like she knew certain triggers that sent him right back to his fucked up past. But this one was fucking humiliating and he wished the ground would swallow him whole as the memories suddenly flooded him.

~

_ “I ain’t goin’ back in there,” Daryl scowled at his brother. The shit-eating grin on Merles face only made his anger grow as it flowed through his veins.  _

_ “Ya ain't gotta choice Daryl. I paid for that bitch for a whole hour, so ya’ll go in there and give it to her good,” Merle glared, leaving no room for argument. They were stood outside of a motel room. Daryl stupidly assumed when his brother forced him to come here it would be to do with drugs or something else he wanted no part of, but this was so much fucking worse. _

_ “I ain’t fuckin’ a whore man! Just leave me alone!” Daryl growled, turning on his heel to walk away. His brother gripped him by the scruff of his shirt though and dragged him back. _

_ “Stop bein’ a fuckin’ pussy Darlina, you're a Dixon for Christ's sake, act like it,” Merle sneered, making Daryl nostrils flare. He clenched his fists as he tried to will away the rage inside of him. _

_ “I don't wanna fuck some bitch ‘cause ya paid her Merle, I wanna girl who actually wants me,” Daryl admitted harshly, his cheeks flaming red at even coming out with that kind of thing to his brother. He stupidly hoped his brother would lay off him if he told him. Merle burst out laughing, full-on cackling at his brother that just made the shame crawl up his chest, trying to escape out of his throat. _

_ “Shit baby brother. Ain’t no bitch gonna want your ass without somethin’ in return,” he snorted, calming down from the apparently good laugh Daryl had given him. Daryl’s face was like thunder as he glared at him, anger like molten lava flowing through his veins at his brother doing this to him, for mocking him like he always fucking did. _

_ “I ain't havin’ no brother of mine walkin’ around a fuckin’ virgin. Go get your ass in there ‘fore I fuckin’ beat it to the ground,” Merle bit out, his eyes flashing with anger. Of course his brother was high. The fucking powder on his nose made that plainly obvious to the younger brother and he knew he wasn't about to let this go. He shrugged out of his brother's grasp, swiping his long brown hair from his eyes as he fixed his brother with a harsh glare. _

_ “Fuck you,” he growled, barging past his brother into the room he really didn't want to go into and slamming the door hard. _

_ The woman in question was sat on the bed, unfazed by the anger, shouting or slamming. She looked bored almost. She looked about fucking 40, with her bleached hair in a messy birds nest on the top of her head. Her make up was god awful and Daryl knew he wouldn't be able to get his dick to wake up even if he wanted to. She gave him a sickly sweet smile and Daryl swallowed thickly as she stood and sauntered over to him. She looked off her fucking face on something and it only added to the unattractiveness of the fucking night. Happy fucking birthday indeed.  _

_ Half an hour later and the whore was getting antsy that Daryl's dick didn't want to fucking work and he was mortified, that even when someone wanted to fuck him, it just wasn't gonna happen. He was dressing hastily, needing to get the fuck out of dodge before he fucking ripped his skin off, feeling so uncomfortable that she had even touched him in the first place. The knowledge that his brother had probably fucked her before this did little to help the situation either. He was embarrassed, so mortified as he grabbed a bunch of bills from his jeans pocket, handing them to her as he avoided her eyes. He felt it was the least he could do since he had been so much trouble. _

_ “Just...if Merle asks…” he started, glaring at the floor as his cheeks and ears burnt bright, like more humiliation was even possible at this point. _

_ “Don't worry, if he asks I'll tell him ya gave it to me good,” she smiled, causing him to swallow thickly. _

_ “Ya don't have to be embarrassed sugar, I won't tell anyone. Bein’ gay ain't such a bad thing. Don't need to feel ashamed,” she said breezily. Causing his eyes to snap to hers as a completely horrified look overtook his face. _

_ “Ya think I’m gay?” he bit out, his voice almost a whisper as he tried to grasp why she would think that. But of course she would. His dick wasn't fucking reacting, dead to the world even when a girl was touching him. _

_ “Like I said, nothin’ to be embarrassed about. And I won't tell Merle,” with that, she left the room. Leaving Daryl to sit on the edge of the bed as the shame and embarrassment took its hold of him. This was his 18th birthday. A fucking failure and a loser by all accounts. Merle was right. Ain’t no bitch ever gonna want him without nothing in return.  _

_ ~ _

He was just stood there, her words whirling around his scrambled brain as the memories overtook him, taking him back to being that younger version of himself. His lack of words and eye contact had her feeling like she had really embarrassed him. She hated that she had done that to him, that she had to mess up whatever kind of friendship they may have had. She went to the door and slipped out, leaving him standing there dazed for a minute. He didn't even realise she was gone until he heard Merle's door shut. He frowned to himself, shaking his head as he sat on the bed.  _ What the fuck just happened here? _ Oh, that's right. She tried to kiss him on the cheek and he had to be a pussy about it, freaking out and making her think he was gay. He didn't even know how to fix this situation. He heaved a sigh as he flopped back on the bed, tugging at his hair in agitation.  _ Fuck my life. _


	10. Chapter 10

**The response to this story has been overwhelming, thank you all for reading!**

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When Daryl woke the next morning, he had a fleeting moment of peace. That tiny little moment where your brain still hasn't fully woke and you feel peaceful, blissfully unaware of all the shit in the outside world. But as usual, it didn't last long, and when his brain caught up with his body, he remembered every painful detail of the day before. From Merles bad trip and concussing the girl, to her thinking he was fucking gay. He groaned to himself, rolling over onto his stomach and pulling the blanket over his head. He didn't want to face the day, he never wanted to face her ever again. He considered jumping out the window and letting the biters get him. That would be fucking better than having to talk to her now she thought he liked fucking dick. Now she was off sleeping in his brother's bed. The jealousy hit him hard, feeling like he had been struck by lightning. She didn't like Merle that way, at least he thought she didn't. Merle had been trying to get her in bed for as long as they fucking knew her and she had turned him down every time. But still, the thought of her sleeping next to Merle made his blood run cold and it was all his own damn fault.

“Daryl, get the fuck up!” Merle called from the other side of the bedroom door. Daryl inhaled a deep breath, not wanting to deal with any of this bullshit.

“Fuck off!” he growled, his voice muffled with his face in the pillow and the blanket over his head. He heard the door open anyway and he wasn't surprised.

“Now come on baby brother, tell me what’s got ya hidin’ out in here,” Merle smirked. Daryl could hear that smirk in his voice, the one that told him he knew exactly why he was hiding. He was glad he was fucking hiding as his cheeks turned red, the idea that the girl had fucking told his brother what happened was embarrassing.

“Fuck off,” he repeated harshly, groaning when Merle yanked the covers off him. He made no effort to move, to turn and look at him. He didn't want to catch that shit-eating grin he knew was plastered all over his stupid fucking face.

“Nothin’ to do with a certain pretty little thing thinkin’ you're a homosexual then?” he asked, laughter lacing his words as Daryl growled. He turned over, grabbing the pillow next to him and he flung it at Merle. Merle burst out laughing, seeming to find great amusement in the situation as Daryl glared at him from where he was lay.

“Hey! I know ya ain't gay alright! I’ve seen ya with plenty of women. But fuck, why the shit didn't ya tell her ya weren't?” Merle snorted, looking at his brother like he was stupid. Daryl furrowed his brow, wondering what he was on about until it clicked in his mind. He had been stunned by her words and then too busy reliving old wounds. He had gawped at her like a fucking fish and not said a word, not corrected her on anything. 

“Fuck,” he groaned, covering his face with his hands as his brother continued to laugh at him.

“Don't worry about it baby brother. Good ol’ Merle took care of it,” Merle smirked widely at him. Daryl sat up then looking at him warily. 

“Ya...took care of it how?” he asked hesitantly. Merle's version of taking care of things rarely resulted in helping. It usually caused more fucking problems. 

“I put her straight. That ya not gay, never have been. Told her ya’ve been wantin’ to get in her pants since ya first fuckin’ saw her!” he cackled, making Daryl's eyes widen so much they almost fell out of their fucking sockets.

“Ya did what?!” he yelled, completely mortified.  _ Nah, fuck this shit. I wonder if I could smother myself… _

“I’m yankin' ya chain! Fuck!” Merle laughed heartily as he stepped closer to him. Daryl relaxed but only a little as he looked up at him.

“I didn't tell her that, even though it's true. But I did tell her ya like women so ya don't need to worry about that shit no more,” he grinned, like he was so proud of himself for doing something decent for once. 

“Thanks,” Daryl muttered, looking down for a minute as his head tried to calm down from the mind fuck the morning had turned into.

“I’m gonna give ya a bit of brotherly advice now, so ya best listen,” Merle started, looking deadly serious. Daryl just blinked at him, looking almost like a young boy as he waited for what his brother wanted to say.

“I know ya like her. I see the way ya look at her, hell, how ya’ve always looked at her. I know ya ain’t like me, ya different so I know it’s not the same as it is for me,” he continued, Daryl squinted at him calling him different but Merle just shook his head.

“Hell, it ain't a bad thing Daryl. I’m glad ya ain't like me. It’s a good thing. All I’m sayin’ is, I know ya deal with shit differently. Like last night, freakin’ out over a damn kiss to the cheek. Ya don't like to be touched, I get it, and I know ya ain't got much game brother, but shit, I thought ya had more than that,” he snorted. Daryl heaved a sigh, wondering what the fuck the advice would be, if there even was any. Merle sensed his impatience and tutted at him.

“If ya like her, ya don't have to do anythin’ ya don't’ wanna, but ya should at least just let shit happen. If she tries to kiss ya cheek, fuckin’ let her. If she wants to share a bed, don't fight it. Fuck, if she wants to suck ya damn dick, let her do it. Stop fightin’ shit Daryl. Ya look at her different to the other girls ya’ve fucked, I can see it. I ain't blind and I ain't damn stupid either. Ya know how I feel about women, and I don't think me and relationships would ever fuckin’ mix. But like I said, I know ya different. She’s a good girl brother, she's a little spitfire when she wants to be. She can hold her own, but she’s still good inside. I think she's good for ya,” he finished, his face more serious than Daryl had ever seen him.

It felt so awkward, neither of them able to look at each other for a moment. These moments with Merle were rare. These moments when he really was the big brother he needed, when he came through like this. Daryl couldn't remember the last time he had a moment like this with him, but now it was here, it was awkward as shit. He didn't really know what to say. He felt all sorts of shit. He was embarrassed his brother had noticed he liked her, even before the world went to shit. He was shocked that Merle hadn't taken the piss out of him for it, ever, and he was shocked that Merle actually seemed to be somewhat giving his blessing, if Daryl wanted to make this anything. Merle had said she was good for him, complimented her. Daryl was well aware of how his brother usually viewed women. That they were good for nothing but a good fuck and to cook and clean. Yet Cherlene seemed to have effected Merle too. 

“Ain’t matter anyway. Like she’d be interested in a Dixon,” Daryl scoffed bitterly, realising this whole pep talk was worth shit when it came down to it. No matter how much he liked her, it would never happen. He wasn't about to fool himself and act like it would. Optimism got him nowhere in life. Merle heaved a sigh and shook his head as he took a step back.

“Maybe. Maybe not. Ya won't fuckin’ know if ya keep runnin’ from it Daryl,” he muttered, wishing he could shake some sense into him. But Merle could see Daryl shutting down, he didn't blame him. This whole thing had been a little more intense and touchy-feely than he had meant and now things were weird.

“Anyway, get your ass downstairs. The girls up and we’re both waitin’ to get the truck, then we can try for the highway again,” with that, Merle was gone. Daryl breathed a sigh of relief at the peace of being on his own. But now he had to go downstairs and face her. Be fucking stuck in the truck with her for hours on end after the ordeal that was the night before. He actually hoped Merle would sit with them this time. He was an ass but he was a fucking ice breaker and a distraction. If Merle was winding her up, she wouldn't be focused on him and how pathetic and awkward he was.

He tugged on his boots before reluctantly leaving the room, he really didn't want to but he couldn't hide out here forever either. When he got downstairs, Merle was in the kitchen packing what little was there into a bag he found. It wasn't much but they would need every little thing they could find. Daryl walked into the living room and Charlene was eating graham crackers out of a box. He tensed, stood there as their eyes locked for a moment. He noticed her cheeks flush as she glanced back down to the box.  _ Great, now shits awkward. _

“You want some?” she asked, her voice weirdly higher than usual and he could tell by how she was averting her eyes she looked somewhat nervous. He tried to hide his frown as he nodded, his stomach growled as he sat on the couch with her, leaving a good distance between them. 

It was silent for a moment, the only noises were Merle rummaging in the kitchen and muttering to himself and their crunching of the crackers, which seemed unusually loud to his ears.

“Look, I'm sorry about last night. Assuming you were gay. I just...You know me well enough by now, when I get nervous I put my foot in my mouth and make an ass out of myself,” she rambled, finally looking at him again with her bright green eyes. He was confused why she was apologising, it was all his fault, but he rolled with it anyway.

“It’s fine, wouldn't have thought that if I didn't freak out like a fuckin’ idiot,” he sighed, chewing his thumb anxiously as he looked down.

“I get it. Merle told me...you don't like to be touched. I know I can be a bit much sometimes. Always around you and stuff. I’ve just always been a little touchy-feely. So I'm sorry, for making you uncomfortable like that,” she muttered softly, toying with a cracker in her hand. 

Daryl frowned, he didn't like that his brother had disclosed that bit of information with her. Anyone that knew him knew he wasn't one to be touched. It was fine if he initiated it, but he was always wary of other people touching him, ever since his childhood where the only contact he had with people involved being hurt in some way. 

“Ya ain't much...I don't mind it. Just caught me off guard I guess,” he shrugged, not wanting her to pull away completely because of what his brother had said, about what she must think of him now.  _ A fuckin’ freak. _

“What if...the next time I do something that makes you uncomfortable, just tell me. And I’ll do the same with you. We don't need to freak out or ramble nervous shit that embarrasses each other,” she snorted wryly, giving him a little smile. He chanced a glance at her, a tug of a smile on his own lips.

“Sounds good to me,” he said with a nod, still chewing his thumb. He didn’t know how well it would work. When he freaked out the night before, his brain had just malfunctioned completely. He didn't have time to rationalise anything and suddenly things had gone from bad to worse. He hoped that the air was a little clearer now. That she would be a little more careful so she didn't spook him but not pull away from him altogether.

She took out another cracker and one for him, handing it out to him. It was like she was giving some kind of peace offering to him and he almost snorted. He gave her a half-smile, taking it and relishing the moment when their fingers touched briefly. He masked it well though, she didn't need to know that despite his deep-rooted issues about being touched, he craved it more than anything in the fucking world, as fucked as his brain was. Wanting something that his body would shy from. He munched his cracker, feeling like the air was a little lighter. She didn't hate him, she hadn’t embarrassed him. She had said sorry and come up with a plan that would hopefully make them avoid any other moments like the night before. Merle was right, she was good for him. 

“Alright kids, lets head out. Still don't know if that herd will come back this way,” Merle said as he walked in the room. Charlene stood, box of crackers still in her hands as she nibbled them. Merle reached over and took one, making her growl playfully and smack him around the head. 

“That there’s abuse girlie,” Merle huffed as he rubbed his head, even though the smack didn't hurt in the least. Daryl watched on amused as his brother squinted at her. Shocked he hadn't throttled her or said anything offensive. It was weird. Apparently, things were better between them. He already knew Merle liked her which was weird enough because Merle never liked anyone. Hopefully, things would be a little easier with the three of them from now on.


	11. Chapter 11

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“I fuckin’ swear, if ya’ll don’t stop with the bullshit right now, I’m gonna stop this damn truck!” Daryl yelled exasperatedly, glaring at Charlene and Merle who turned their eyes to him looking like scolded children. Things had been somewhat better with the pair, Merle wasn’t strangling her and neither of them were particularly nasty to each other. But it didn't stop them from bickering like kids. This time over the last can of peaches. There was plenty of other shit to eat, but of course they were fighting over this.

“But Daryl, peaches are my favourite,” Charlene sighed sadly, her plump lower lip jutting out as she turned her shiny eyes on him, batting those long lashes. For a few seconds, he couldn't even tear his eyes away, despite the fact he was driving and needed to watch where he was going. She was sat between him and Merle and from this close, he could see all the orange flecks in her green eyes.

“Oh come on! Don't be lettin’ her fool ya with her feminine wiles now brother, that's just fuckin’ cheatin’ right there!” Merle protested. Daryl watched as Charlene looked to Merle, a sly smirk spreading across her face. Daryl snorted, shaking his head as he looked back out on the road and continued to drive, but then the fucking bickering started up again.

Daryl slammed on the breaks, putting his right arm out to catch Charlene so she didn't conk her head on the dash again this time as the truck came to a halt.

“Ya know what?! Ain’t none of ya'll gettin’ the damn peaches, they're mine now,” Daryl huffed, snatching the can from his brother's unsuspecting hands and stashing it in his side of the truck. Merle squinted at him whilst Charlene's mouth gaped open, looking at him sadly. He couldn’t look, he would cave, he knew he would. Fuck, maybe when they found somewhere to rest up he might just share them with her when Merle wasn't looking. 

“But Daryl-” she started, nothing but shiny eyes and a sad fucking face.

“Nope, not happenin’. Now both of ya shut the fuck up so we can figure out where we’re stayin’ tonight,” Dary huffed, looking a mix between somewhat amused and annoyed. Silence finally descended on the truck and it was fucking heavenly as Daryl started driving again.

The trip to Atlanta had been put on hold for the moment. They had been driving for a few days now, Merle and Daryl taking shifts behind the driver's wheel, but on one occasion, when Daryl was sleeping, Merle fucking got them lost somehow. Daryl didn't even know where the fuck they were. So for now, they were trying to find somewhere to hole up for the night. Sleeping in the truck was getting fucking annoying. He took a random turn, because why the fuck not, it wasn't like they could get any more lost at this point, and it seemed they had found a fancy part of town. The houses seemed to get bigger the more up the road they went, with their high walls and high tech gates. Daryl felt a bitter scoff work its way out of his mouth, the jealousy he always had at the people with better lives than he had making itself known. And apparently, he wasn't the only one.

“Well look the fuck at this shit. Bet these assholes all had maids and sipped on Don Perrydnon all damn day,” Merle huffed with a glare. Charlene’s nostrils flared as she tried not to laugh and it only got harder not to when Daryl looked at his brother incredulously. 

“It’s Dom Pérignon asshole,” he snorted, shaking his head.

“Oh well excuse the fuck outta me for not talkin’ French!” Merle sneered, throwing his hands up in defeat. Charlene covered her mouth trying to stifle her laughter and Daryl felt a warm feeling spread through his chest at the noise.

“I don't talk French neither but I know how to fuckin’ pronounce it,” Daryl smirked, only serving to make his brother growl at him.

“They're probably all dead anyway,” Charlene piped up with a shrug. Both brothers turned to look at her, both looking somewhat equally horrified.

“The fuck happened to you? Ya used to be all sunshine and rainbows and now ya just a big ball of fuckin’ misery!” Merle asked with a frown. He was right though. She had always been optimistic, and whilst Daryl saw no point in optimism as it never served him well, she balanced them out well, always sharing that little bit of hope. Now she was being Miss fucking depressing and he wasn't sure how to feel about it. It was good she was being more realistic, but he always liked the whole sunshine and rainbows bullshit as Merle called it.

“It's true though. People like that, they aren't like you two. They wouldn't know how to survive through this,” she sighed, not looking at the brothers as she glanced out of the windows to the huge houses.

“What about you? We ain’t the only ones alive here,” Daryl muttered from next to her, making her cast a glance at him.

“I’m only alive because of you two. I’d have been dead a long time ago if you hadn't come along,” she said it so casually, like it wasn't a big deal, but Daryl felt his feelings stirring inside of him. 

First, the thought she was dead was a fucking depressing one. One he didn't want to have in his head at all. But the fact she knew, that she appreciated what he and his brother did for her, trying to keep her safe and fed. It made his stomach flip around on him. His mouth seemed to go dry and he couldn't even form words, he just continued to look straight ahead as he drove slowly down the road.

“Shit girlie, I think ya’ve spent way too much time around us. I don't know how I feel about this new outlook on life ya got,” Merle huffed, almost like she had offended him by being so depressing. She just snorted with a shrug. It was just the way the world was now. She’d learnt a lot over the past few weeks and she realised she had to adjust the way she saw the world.

“The fucks that?” Daryl muttered, eyes narrowing as he stopped the truck at the side of the road. 

“Is that a ...treehouse?” Charlene asked, like it was absurd to even ask such a thing. 

“Looks like it,” Merle said, leaning closer to the window so he could see. Daryl chewed his thumb as he looked at it. It wasn't a typical treehouse, like the one a loving parent would build for their kid to play in. It was one of those huge ones that the fancy folk would spend a shit tonne of money on, just so they could seem like they were at one with nature. It was poking out from behind one of the houses, and Daryl glanced around. The house was surrounded by high walls and a big gate, it looked secure. He was considering the possibility of using the treehouse to stay in for a bit. Atlanta was on hold, they were lost and they weren't about to wear themselves down driving through the night every night like they had been doing. Finding somewhere to rest up and just chill for a damn minute was the priority right now. The treehouse, or fucking tree mansion in Daryl's opinion, would be perfect. It was high up, no chance of the dead getting up to them. And the walls were another barrier to stop the dead from getting in. The only issue was, if any of the dead were already in there, it meant they weren't getting out either.

Daryl and Merle locked eyes, a sly grin working its way onto the older brothers face as he hopped out of the truck, making sure he had his knife and gun.

“Wait, what? Are we...are we going in there?” she asked nervously, her eyes landing on Daryl as he grabbed his bow. He felt like he could feel her anxiety from a mile away and he didn't really blame her. Places other than the truck hadn't been good to her so far. The fucking cabin with the assholes he and his brother had to kill, the store where the herd of the dead separated them. It seemed the idea of leaving the safety of the truck where they couldn't get separated was scary to her.

“It could be good. It's up high, big walls. C’mon,” his tone left no room to argue as he got out, looking at her expectantly before she climbed out too. She out got the knife Merle had given her and Daryl eyed it a little. Merle had apparently given it to her when they had been separated from Daryl. To her, it probably just seemed like a knife, nothing more. But Daryl knew the story behind it. He knew the knife was a gift to Merle from their grandfather. Daryl had only been a very young boy then but he remembered just how excited his big brother had been. The fact that Merle had given her that knife, it only reminded him of the words his brother told him, about how she was good for him, how Merle actually liked her. 

He knew he shouldn't but he felt the pang of envy again. It was a good thing Merle was looking out for her. The morning after the cabin incident, Merle had taken her outside after a nightmare, teaching her some moves with a knife to make her feel better. But he couldn't help but regret not getting there first. Why hadn’t he been the one to teach her that? Or to give her his knife? He contemplated teaching her how to use a bow, maybe getting her a little one or a compound bow. When he really thought about it, there were a lot of things he and Merle could teach her. Things that people might have deemed worthless before the turn, but now could be the difference between life and death.

The three of them reached the walls and stood still, being quiet to listen for any noises but there weren't any. Merle ran, hoisting himself up on the wall and sitting on it as his eyes scanned the giant back yard where the huge fucking treehouse was. 

“Aint nothin’ out here I can see,” he muttered, looking down at Daryl. Daryl's eyes flit around the floor until they landed on a rock, he picked it up and threw it over the wall. The noise of it hitting the floor echoed a little and they all waited on bated breath, but yet again, no sound came. It felt too good to be true, but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Merle jumped down onto the other side of the wall and Daryl bent a little, clasping his hands together to give Charlene a boost.

“Up ya get Tiny,” he smirked wryly at her, making her huff and squint playfully. He didn't fail to notice how her cheeks flushed a pretty pink colour though.

She stepped closer to him and it felt like time slowed down as she held onto his shoulders. He was fucking eye level with her crotch and his brain decided now was the perfect time to wonder what kind of underwear she was wearing.  _ Way to be a creep, ya fuckin’ weirdo. _ He hoisted her up and she scrambled at the top as she climbed over before Daryl followed suit with ease. He glanced around the large yard, there were bikes and a trampoline, other things that made it clear a kid once lived here. His eyes cast over to Charlene and he saw her little furrowed brow as she took in the scene, knowing just what probably happened to the little boy that once occupied the space. He felt bad for her. Daryl had always thought the world was a pile of shit. It had never been good to him and there were monsters roaming around before the dead decided to get up and start eating people. He knew her life had been far from perfect from what he’d heard. Her father becoming a drunk after her mother died, Charlene having to work numerous jobs just to keep their heads above water. But she still seemed so innocent somehow, like she wasn't jaded from the bad hand she got dealt. And every time something seemed to touch a nerve for her now, he felt bad for her. He wanted to shield her from all the bad things in the world, he didn't want her sunshine to fade away any more than it already had. 

Merle started walking to the treehouse and he followed suit with the girl by his side. Despite no noise of the dead, Daryl was still alert. He knew better than to get caught with his ass hanging out. The treehouse was pretty high up, a ladder the only way to climb up to it. It was pretty perfect in Daryl's book and it would be a good place to rest up for a bit, maybe they could even scout some of the houses here and see what fancy shit they had to eat.

“I wonder if they got any of that Don Peganon,” Merle mused as he looked up the ladder. Charlene let out an elegant snort as Daryl shook his head again.

“Dom Pérignon, Jesus Merle,” He huffed a laugh, loving how Charlene was trying to hold in her laughter.

“Eh whatever,” Merle scoffed before holstering his gun as he started to climb up the ladder first. Putting himself first in case of any danger that could be lurking there. Daryl gestured with his head for her to follow and she smiled at him before complying. No doubt thinking he was being a gentleman or some shit.  _ A fuckin’ gentleman that wants to watch her fuckin’ ass. _ He tried not to look, he really did, but he couldn't help watch her heart-shaped ass as she climbed up the ladder. He inhaled a deep breath to steady himself before climbing up after her. His dick needed to reign in the fuck in, shit was getting ridiculous.


	12. Chapter 12

After the three of them all successfully climbed the ladder, they stood on the decking just outside the door and the first thing that hit them was the smell. Charlene covered her mouth with her hand and she tried not to heave as the brothers cast wary glances to each other. They knew that smell, the smell of death. Merle knocked loudly on the door of the treehouse but there were no groans or shuffling on the other side. Daryl didn't know what was worse, the biters or the fact there were dead bodies inside that weren’t walking around. Daryl grabbed the handkerchief out of his back pocket and walked around to behind Charlene, tying it around her face to cover her nose and mouth. It wouldn't stop the smell completely but it would help. She smiled, but when she realised he couldn't see it she gave him a little nod.

“Wait here, me and Merle are gonna check out inside,” he said firmly as he readied his bow. She nodded again and watched them slip inside. She knew she was safe on the decking. The dead couldn't get up. The treehouse was pretty big, not the kind she remembered from her childhood, and it was high up. She could see over the walls at this height, watching as a few stragglers roamed the streets below. She knew they couldn't get her though, they probably wouldn't even know they were here with the high walls around the house. But still, it was creepy being out here on her own and every little noise was making her jump. She scurried off inside, she hadn't heard anything in there so she hoped that there weren't any biters. She wandered around the living area, trying not to look at the family pictures that decorated the place. It made her chest feel tight. There was an open door off to one of the sides and she walked in, hoping to see Daryl or Merle. But inside she was greeted with the sight of a decomposing body of a young boy lay lifeless on a bed. 

It felt like her heart shattered, like she had been winded as she glared at it. She could just about make out a gunshot to his head, he only looked about six and she felt her eyes filling with tears. Try as she might, she couldn't move. Her feet were rooted to the spot as her heart broke. She knew the new world was harsh, she knew a lot of babies and kids didn't make it. But seeing it like this was a smack in the face.

“Shit girl, I told ya to wait out there,” Daryl lamented as he gripped her arm and pulled her from the room, standing in front of her to block the view of the boy. She looked at her feet, her eyes welling with tears and Daryl had to squeeze his eyes shut to quell his own emotion. It had been a fucking shit show in here. He and Merle had found a whole family in various rooms. It looked like the dad had taken them all out and then himself, most likely an act of mercy. Daryl couldn't even imagine having to do that. 

He watched her warily as her chest heaved, glaring at the floor as she fought her tears. He didn’t really know what to do, what to fucking say. This was just the way it was now, but he wished it wasn't just to get her to stop being so upset. Merle walked in the room then, glancing to the girl and then Daryl, his shoulders slumping.

“Shit girlie, ain’t so good at listenin’ huh?” he sighed, it was obvious what she had seen with her emotional state. She didn't even reply, just shook her head. She fucking regretted not listening now, she should have stayed out there like she was told. Merle walked over to them and clapped Daryl on the back.

“Take her to the guest room we found. I’ll clean house,” he muttered tensely. Daryl was glad his big brother was taking the lead on this one. He was glad he could sit this one out, glad the girl hadn't stumbled into the room where the body of a baby was, no more than a year old. Daryl felt like he had been punched in the gut when he had walked in that room and he knew Merle had seen it all over his face.

Daryl was still holding her arm and he lead her to the guest room where there were no bodies. He let go and watched as she sat on the bed, removing the bandana with shaky hands before she burst into tears. She lowered her head into her hands as small sobs shook her body and Daryl swallowed thickly. He didn’t know how to comfort a woman, especially with something like this. He walked over, crouching in front of her so he was eye level, his heart breaking for her. 

“M’ sorry ya had to see that Tiny,” he frowned, it was all he could come up with. He couldn't tell her it would all be okay because he didn't know if it would be. He couldn't offer up anything more than those few words. She sniffled, wiping her eyes before she looked at him and he almost fell flat on his ass. Those bright green eyes so shiny with tears, looking so devastated. It was hard to look at her like this.

“I’ll...I’ll be okay...I just need...a minute…” She sobbed, hiccuping a little as she tried to calm down. 

Daryl didn't even think as he wrapped his arms around her, letting instinct take over and guide him on what to do in this situation. He felt her relax as she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into his neck as she cried some more. He could feel her tears soaking his skin and he stroked her hair soothingly, hoping to ease even a tiny bit of her pain. 

“Ya still wanna stay here? We can leave if ya want,” he said quietly, his hand stroking her long brown hair, enjoying the softness of it. 

“Merles gonna...he's gonna take care of it?” she asked softly, sounding so much like a small child that it made his heart constrict.

“Yeah,” he replied, not wanting to think about his brother removing the dead bodies from the place. 

“We can stay,” she whispered against his neck, making him suppress a shiver. She knew they needed the rest, being cooped up in the cab of the truck had been hard on all of them and she knew the boys needed a good rest for once. If the bodies wouldn't be here, she could try and deal with it. Daryl held her a little longer, letting her just get it all out. Lord knows she needed to. 

When her crying subsided he moved away, looking at her carefully as she wiped her eyes, cheeks flushing. She looked embarrassed about her little breakdown and he felt bad. She didn’t ever need to feel embarrassed about anything with him. “When I ask ya to do somethin’...it's for a reason alright? Next time just...fuckin’ listen to me, please,” he lamented with a frown. She nodded, looking at him as she felt bad. He looked so worried about her. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I just don't like being left on my own. I get freaked out,” she admitted as she toyed with her hands. Daryl heaved a sigh, he didn't want to leave her on her own either but sometimes they didn't really have a choice, like this. 

His legs started to ache with being crouched for so long and he stood up, moving to sit next to her on the bed. She scooted closer, resting her head on his shoulder and he tensed for a moment. She held her breath, waiting to see if he would tell her she was being too much, to tell her he was uncomfortable like they had talked about. But instead, he slowly relaxed as they sat together.

“Will you being staying in here with me?” she asked quietly, turning her big hopeful eyes up to him. His breath caught in his throat as his insides turned to mush. He was pretty sure his bones had dissolved and he was waiting to turn into a puddle on the floor.

“Ya want me to?” he rasped, he really hoped she did. He was getting used to being next to her when he slept, how it for some reason seemed to comfort him, made him relax knowing she was safe and right there with him. She nodded looking down as she nibbled her lower lip.

“Then I will,” he replied, trying to ignore the swarm of butterflies that erupted in his belly.

It was stupid, it wasn’t like they hadn't shared a bed before, yet every time he always felt nervous, like it meant something more than what it did. She wanted him there because she was scared, nothing else. He made her feel safe and in turn, she slept well. That was all she wanted him there for. He tried to remind himself that and push his feelings to the wayside. Hope was useless, there was no place in his life for it before all this shit, and even more so now.

“Thanks Daryl,” she smiled, feeling better already.

“Ain't nothin’,” he said gruffly as he stood up, making her head fall from his shoulder. She frowned a little, glancing at him even though he wasn't looking at her. She could sense a shift in his mood and she didn’t know what she had done to upset him this time. She had come to learn his moods would swing pretty fast, much like his brother's. So she opted to stay quiet about it, maybe he was upset about all this too.

“Gonna go see if Merle needs any help. Stay here, and fuckin’ listen this time,” he grumbled before he left the room shutting the door behind of him. She just blinked as she looked at the door where he had just been stood, wondering what was going on inside of that complicated head of his. She admired Daryl, he was a good man and he looked after her even though he had no obligation to. He was handsome and even funny when he wanted to be. Sometimes she wondered if he would ever like her the way she liked him, and then times like this she remembered he probably saw her as a burden. An inconvenience. He felt for some reason he had to take care of her. He probably saw her as weak and pathetic and it made her frown. She didn't want him to see her as some helpless damsel in distress that needed saving. To see her as nothing but baggage, it worried her when she thought about it, worried that one day the brothers might tire of her being around and just leave her in the dust. She hoped they wouldn’t, at times they seemed to care. But their moods give her whiplash and sometimes she had no clue where she stood with them.

Maybe if it was safe here she could ask them to teach her things. Merle had already taught her a few things with a knife but she wanted to learn other things too. Being separated from Daryl had jarred her, it opened her eyes to the fact that anything could happen in the blink of an eye. She wanted to be prepared. What would happen if she got lost on her own? She knew for a fact she wouldn't make it. She didn't know anything. The boys were smart, they had all the skills needed to survive the end of the world and she hoped if she asked nice enough, that they would teach her those skills and hopefully prolong her life if it ever came to it. 

She kicked off her boots feeling worn out from all the crying, laying down in bed. She dozed off and didn't even hear Daryl coming in hours later. He sat on his side of the bed as he pulled his boots off, casting her a glance. He felt bad for snapping at her. He hated his stupid brain and how he lashed out every time he got scared or confused about shit. He had helped Merle with the rest of the bodies, thankful that the baby and kid had been taken care of before he helped. Merle opened the windows hoping to get the place aired out, to get the stench of death out of the place. They had tossed the beds over the sides too and Daryl was shocked that Merle even got rid of all the pictures and evidence a family ever lived here, clearly for the girl. He lay down on his back with a deep sigh. Why did he always have to fuck up, push her away like this? She would get fucking sick of his temper soon enough. He just couldn't figure out why she always seemed to gravitate towards him. The only thing he could think of was what he could offer her. Safety. Part of him was happy to do that for her, fuck, he wanted to keep her safe. But the other part hated how she only wanted him around for that. He felt like his brain was melting so he closed his eyes, hoping to fuck he would get some sleep. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Bit of a long one for you guys!**

**\-----------------------**

Daryl’s brain slowly roused from sleep, in that halfway space between being awake and being asleep. He groaned softly as a jolt went straight to his dick, one that reverberated throughout his entire body. He tightened his arm around something, his brain was too fuzzy to make sense of anything. His eyes fluttered open and his body went rigid when he realised that something was Charlene. He was spooning her from behind and the jolt of pleasure was because he was fucking humping her ass like a damn dog. He held his breath, stock-still as he waited for her to start shouting, turn around and smack him or something for being such a creep. But a soft snore left her lips and he breathed a sigh of relief, his whole body relaxing as he realised she was asleep, none the wiser to what a fucking perv he was. 

She started stirring in his arms and he panicked. His instinct was to recoil from her, fucking run and dive out the damn window and never show his face again. But he knew if he pulled away now, it would look weird, so instead, he feigned sleep. He closed his eyes and slowed his breathing down, trying to act like he wasn't awake, like he hadn't been rubbing his morning wood against that pretty ass and that he wasn't a creep. He heard her yawn, yet she made no move to get away from him. Then he felt her hand come to lay over his that was splayed on her belly. It was then he noticed his hand was under her shirt, splayed on the soft bare flesh on her stomach and his throat tightened, his heart beating even faster in his chest. He was sure she’d be able to feel the fucking thing as it wildly thumped against his chest. She was stroking his hand, laying there seemingly relaxed and his brain was short-circuiting. Why hadn't she moved away? Why was so she relaxed lay with him touching her like that like it was normal? It didn't compute in his head, not against the facts that he already knew. That he was redneck trash, a Dixon and no woman that was in her right mind and sober would ever give him the time of day, and certainly not one as pretty as Charlene. It was like two jigsaw pieces that just wouldn't fit together as the facts in his brain wouldn't mesh with the girl just lay there stroking his hand. 

His brain just melted, he no longer had a brain and he switched off, just laying here pretending to be asleep. Soon enough, his eyes started to get heavy again as he just enjoyed the sensation of holding her, of feeling her skin under his hand. This was the closest he had ever been to her and he was soaking up every damn second of it. When he woke again it was around an hour later and this time he was alone. He frowned a little as he rubbed his eyes, sitting up and glancing around. He was a little glad she wasn't here so he wouldn't feel so awkward about what he had done earlier, but he also hated waking up without her.  _ If my brain could just take a fuckin’ chill pill for a second, that would be great…  _

He got up, stuffing his boots on before trudging out of the room. The treehouse was eerily quiet and he squinted, looking around and seeing no sign of Merle or the girl. He walked out to the decking, looking over the rails and he saw them in the huge garden. It looked like Merle had spray-painted a target on the side of the wooden shed and he was getting Charlene to throw her knife at it. She didn't look happy at all and from what he could see, her aim was god awful. He climbed down the ladder and made his way over to them.

“I don't wanna do this anymore Merle, I can’t do it!” Charlene huffed, almost whining as she glared at the older brother.

“Ya can’t do it if ya don’t practice! So quit ya whinin’ and throw the damn knife again!” Merle barked, all business it seemed. Daryl was well aware his brother could be a hard ass. He had grown up with his brother riding his ass since he was a young boy, busting his balls to ‘make him a man’.

“It's stupid!” Charlene glowered, actually stomping her foot and Daryl snorted, drawing attention to him as he stood there.

“Daryl please! Tell him to leave me alone! I can’t do it,” she whined, looking at him with wide eyes all innocent-like. Daryl smirked, crossing his broad arms across his chest as he quirked a brow at her. He knew she was pulling the same shit she did over the damn peaches, batting her lashes at him like he would just give in.

“Daryl ain't gonna tell me shit little lady. Throwin’ a knife ain't stupid, it's a good skill to have. Ya can’t shoot a gun yet and sometimes it's best to keep distance ‘tween you and the dead fucks, unless ya want ‘em to take a chunk outta ya ass. So get the knife and throw it again!” Merle ordered harshly, glaring at her. Daryl raised his brows with a nod, his brother made a good point. It was also useful to hunt with sometimes, watching a squirrel running up a tree, just throw the fucking knife at it and bam, you got dinner.

She turned her big green eyes back to him then and he looked at her amused and shook his head.

“Nah, I ain't gettin’ involved. He’s right Tiny, ya need to learn this shit. Just keep practisin’ a bit,” Daryl insisted, making her groan and squeeze her eyes shut. Daryl walked over to the picnic table in the garden next to them, sitting on the top of it so he could observe her, give her any pointers if he needed to. After a few more failed attempts it was clear that even though Merle was riding her ass hard, he wasn't really showing her how to do it right and Daryl started getting aggravated.

“Shit Merle, why ya gettin’ her to throw it by the blade? It's a bowie knife, she needs to throw it from the handle since its blade heavy,” Daryl sighed like it was obvious. Both Charlene and Merle turned their eyes to him and he smirked a little by his brother's annoyed face, like he was stepping on his toes by giving actual helpful advice.

“The handle?” Charlene asked, making him nod. She nibbled her lip before turning back around, holding the handle now instead of the blade and when she threw it, it hit the edge of the target. A huge improvement from it flying right over the damn thing like every other shot she had made. Merle sneered, making Daryl snort a laugh at him, feeling his own chest swelling with a little pride that he had been useful. 

He stood up, walking over as she went to grab the knife again. When she came back, he stood behind her to the side, gripping her wrist. 

“Ya wanna lock ya wrist a little, make sure its a smooth release. Ya gotta stop thinkin’ about it as throwin’ a knife. Just let ya hand slide off the knife as ya follow it through,” he instructed, letting go of her wrist and standing back a little. She nodded, looking deep in concentration, exhaling a deep breath. Daryl and Merle watched her as she took another shot, trying to listen to Daryl's advice. Once again it was closer to the centre of the target. She beamed a smile looking so proud of herself it was fucking adorable.

“See, there ya go. Ol’ Merle came through for ya, told ya if ya practised ya could do it,” Merle grinned, looking all smug. Daryl squinted at him and shook his head.

“Ol’ Merle? Ol’ Merle did fuck all. She couldn't throw worth shit until I came out here and told her how to do it right,” He snorted loudly, making Charlene bite her lower lip so she didn't laugh. She liked it when the brothers did this playful banter. It was rare, usually it was serious insults.

“Hold on there a damn second sleepin’ beauty. I wasn't the one up there snorin’ away. I was down here with her teachin’ her useful shit,” Merle huffed as he pulled a face at his brother.

“I might have been sleepin’ but I still managed to come down here and help her throw right in a few seconds,” Daryl smirked at him, enjoying rubbing it in his face. 

“Ah go fuck yaself ya little shit head,” Merle scoffed.

“You both helped, so thank you,” Charlene finally spoke up, retrieving the knife and putting it on the belt Merle had given her.

“She’s just sayin’ that so she don’t hurt ya feelin’s,” Daryl grinned, a small laugh escaping his lips when Merle swatted him on the back of the head. It was nice like this, just having a laugh, no drama or tension, no usual bullshit. 

Around lunch and Daryl was sat on the end of a huge ass bed, he couldn't tear his eyes away from Charlene as she rummaged through the closet excitedly. Daryl and Merle had cleared the main house. There were no biters since the family that lived here had met their demise in the treehouse, and if they were all honest, they were curious how the folk on the other side of the tracks lived. They wouldn't sleep in here, the treehouse was still safer with how high up it was, but it didn't mean they couldn't scavenge the place and just enjoy what shit these people once had. Merle was of course in the kitchen, Daryl wondered if he was still looking for the fancy-ass champagne his brother couldn't even pronounce.

“Ohhh! Fancy!” Charlene cooed, still in the closet as Daryl’s lips tugged into a smile. He found her adorable, he was quite content with just sitting there and watching her get excited by clothes. She pulled out a floor-length black dress on the hanger, turning around and holding it in front of her.

“Pretty right?” she grinned, making him swallow thickly as his eyes looked her up and down, imagining just what that dress would look like on her.

“Yeah,” he muttered, not really talking about the dress but she didn't fucking know, so it didn't matter. She turned back around, looking some more and Daryl was back to watching her.

“A man of so many words,” she snorted to herself, making him squint playfully at her even though she wasn't even looking at him.

“Be glad I don't talk too much like Merle,” he said, smirking when she glanced over her shoulder at him with a horrified expression. Merle talked enough for the fucking three of them and then some.

She moved to face him, leaning against the door frame as she smiled at him.

“I remember the time you spoke more than like two words to me for the first time, do you remember?” she asked with a snort. He felt his ears burn bright as he lowered his head, like fuck he could forget that. He didn’t know what to make of her remembering it though, it made his stomach feel all weird that she would remember that kind of thing, like it meant something. He found himself smiling a little, trying to fight it so he didn't sit there with a huge grin on his face whilst she was watching him. He couldn't help but think back to that time though, it was the time when he realised just how much he fucking liked her.

~

_ Daryl sat in the diner on his own. Merle was doing a stint in prison which meant Daryl was actually holding down a job for once as a mechanic. He was on his lunch break and of course, he came here. He chewed his thumb as he looked over at her. Charlene. He didn't remember a clear distinction between never really seeing her around and then her suddenly being everywhere. She was just there, no matter where he went. He couldn't escape her. He hadn't known who she was at first. She was just a pretty little thing but he always found himself bitter, bitter of his cursed name and the fact that no one like her would ever give him the time of day. She was always nice to him though, polite and smiley, like she didn’t know who he was even though he knew it wasn't true. _

_ Before Merle got put away again, he had been harassing her every damn day, and whenever Daryl was with him he wished the ground would swallow him whole. She never complained though, she took it like a fucking champ until Merle left and he wondered just how she did it. She seemed less tense when he came in the store or diner on his own and he was glad. He didn't want her thinking he was like his asshole brother. They had a few mutual friends and that's how he learnt her name was Charlene, learnt that she was busting her ass off to keep her head above water since her dad had become a worthless drunk. She became more than a pretty face then, but still, the bitterness never left. He knew she was only ever nice because she was being paid to do so, she wouldn't ever think about him the way he did her, not unless she was being given money for it. He hadn't ever really spoke to her. In the store he was silent, never returning her cheery smile. And then when he came here, he would order his food and that was it. He didn't feel worthy to breathe the same air as her, let alone fucking talk to her.  _

_ He saw her making her way over to his table and he swallowed thickly, glancing down as he drummed his fingers on the table. Her long hair was down today and it always got to him when she did that. She was wearing a little black skirt and t-shirt with ‘Loretta’s’ written on it, an apron tied around her tiny little waist. _

_ “Hey Daryl, you want the usual?” she asked, her usual bright smile in place. It always unnerved him how she said his name like that. He hadn't ever fucking introduced himself to her and god only knew what she had heard about him if she knew his name. _

_ “Yeah,” he stated gruffly, chancing a look at her as she scribbled his order on the pad. She always remembered his fucking order, but he knew it was her job, it didn't make him special. She was just a good waitress. _

_ “How’s Merle doing?” she asked, nibbling her lower lip and making him look away as he tensed. Anytime anyone mentioned his brother it would get his back up instantly. _

_ “The fuck do you care?” he huffed, regretting it instantly, he hadn't ever given her attitude before.  _

_ He looked up at her and she shrugged, giving him a weak smile and he wanted to punch himself in the fucking face.  _

_ “He’s annoying but prison can be rough,” was all she supplied, looking nervous now as she toyed with the pad in her hands. He hated how he fucking took that bright smile right off her face, that she seemed like she didn't know how to act around him now. _

_ “It’ll be out in a few,” she smiled weakly when he hadn't said another word, scurrying off to the back to place the order. He heaved a sigh, leaning back in the seat with a groan. Why did he have to fuck things up? He sat there brooding, his mood getting worse by the second as he waited for his food. He saw her coming out again with his plate and drink, walking over. _

_ “One cheeseburger and a cup of coffee. Let me know if you need anything else,” she smiled, but he frowned when she placed another plate down as well as his burger. _

_ “The fucks this? I didn't order no cake,” he huffed, frowning at her as she blushed slightly. _

_ “I know. Loretta let me make the cake today, thought you might wanna try it. Let me know what you think,” she grinned before waltzing back off. He squinted at the cake like it was some kind of trick, that she had given it to him for some weird horrible reason that he wouldn't like. He huffed as he started to eat his food, his eyes following the girl as she flit around, taking people's orders with a smile. When he finished his food, he eyed the cake, it looked good and he shrugged. He wasn't ever one to turn down free fucking food. The fork she put on the plate for it was left by the wayside as he just picked the slice up and took a big bite. His eyes widened a little, damn it tasted good. It was chocolate but he was sure there were some hazelnuts in there or something. It only took a few bites before it was all gone. He found himself wanting more of it now, it was fucking tasty. _

_ “What did you think?” she asked, startling him a little as she suddenly appeared next to him like a fucking ninja. He cleared his throat, his fingers once again drumming on the table again. _

_ “Was good,” he hated himself. So fucking much. He wanted to tell her it was amazing, that it was the best damn cake he had ever tasted and that Loretta should let her make all the fucking cakes from now on. But no, of course his brain could only handle ‘was good.’ She beamed a smile all the same, looking so pleased with herself that Daryl found it hard not to look at her. _

_ “I’m glad you liked it!” she grinned, taking the empty plates before she was off once more. Daryl watched her go, knowing he needed to get back to work. He always hated these moments when he needed to leave, when she wouldn't be in his line of sight again until the next day. _

_ He waited until she went into the back like he always did before he got up, going over to the counter to pay for his food and leaving her a tip. He always left her a fucking tip. He was about to leave when he was halted in his steps. _

_ “Daryl wait!” she called out, hurrying over to him as he turned around, eyeing her warily. She had a little box in her hand and she held it out to him. When he glanced inside he saw a few more slices of cake. _

_ “I just thought maybe you might want some later,” she shrugged, chewing that damn lip again as she looked up at him with her big green eyes. _

_ “I don't need no fuckin’ charity,” he sneered.  _ **_Wow, well fuckin’ done. Such a social butterfly…_ ** _ Her eyes widened, looking panicked almost as she shook her head. _

_ “I wasn’t...I didn't mean….” she frowned, and he realised he hadn't ever seen a frown grace that pretty little face and now he was causing it. It made his heart squeeze in his chest as he clenched his jaw.  _ **_Way to go asshole._ ** _ He stood there, his mouth not moving as she looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole, her cheeks turning a pretty shade of pink.  _ **_Just say sorry, it ain't hard. It's one fuckin’ word, fuckin’ say it jackass!_ ** _ He worked his jaw, no words seeming to come out no matter how much he knew he should say sorry. He was more stubborn than even he realised. _

_ “Thanks,” he muttered glaring at the floor. Wasn’t what he should have said but at least he got words to fucking leave his mouth. _

_ “It's okay,” she squeaked, giving him a shy smile before she scurried off. He heaved a sigh as he walked out, holding the box as he made his way to the truck. He ended up eating another slice of the cake as he sat in the truck, his brain thinking things he had no place thinking about the girl. How it would be to have her cook for him, what it would be like to catch something and have her cook with it. It made his chest feel warm until he remembered that would never fucking happen, not in his wildest dreams. He growled to himself as he tore out of the little parking lot beside the diner, wondering why he kept going there, wondering why he kept torturing himself like this. _

_ ~ _

When he came back to the present she was looking through the closet again and he cleared his throat.

“M’sorry, about bein’ an asshole that day. Didn't really know how to react. Ain’t exactly used to people bein’ nice,” he admitted gruffly, picking at the dirt under his nails. She turned to glance at him, her cheeks tinged pink slightly as she shrugged.

“It's fine. Its all in the past now anyway,” she sighed, sounding sad almost and he watched her little furrowed brow before she turned back around. She pulled out another hanger with some fancy three-piece suit on it as she turned around, an impish grin on her face.

“You should wear this,” she smirked, making him scoff and shake his head with a wry smile.

“I look like I wear suits to you?” he asked, giving her an amused look as she snorted.

“Have you ever worn a suit?” she asked curiously, tilting her head as she looked at him.

“Nah, ain't had a reason to,” he shrugged, watching as she turned back around to put it back.

“I think your arms would look amazing in this,” she muttered, her body freezing as soon as she realized she had said that out loud. Her cheeks went crimson and she didn't dare turn around to face him, maybe if she didn't act like she had said it he wouldn't mention it. 

Daryl sat there, his jaw slack as he glared at the back of her head.  _ I gotta be hearin’ things right now. Maybe I’m losin’ my damn mind.  _ He just blinked, his brain trying to soak in the words she had just said to him. She had mentioned his arms and shoulders once before in some kind of compliment that he wasn't even sure if it was a compliment or not. He swallowed thickly, feeling that sense of pride he had the last time growing in his chest. He didn't have a clue what to say.  _ Shit, do I thank her? She ain't looked at me since she said it. What if she didn't mean to say it?  _ His mind was in overdrive, not really knowing how to deal with this kind of situation because he wasn't used to it. He’d had a few girls in the past mention his arms but they were always drunk, as was he, and he just presumed they were talking shit for the sake of it. But he knew Charlene wasn't that kind of girl, so why the fuck did she just come out with that?

She stood there, still unable to look at him and she considered climbing in the closet and never coming back out. He hadn’t said a word and she was too embarrassed to look at him. She didn't know why she had to say that, to make him feel awkward. He probably thought she was ridiculous. Where was Merle when you needed him? The silence was tense and thick, both of them not really knowing what to say and feeling their own sense of embarrassment. She knew she needed to swallow her pride if she ever wanted this tension to fucking leave the room.

“I didn't mean to make you feel awkward again. I’m sorry,” she mumbled as she turned around, cheeks still flaming as they looked at each other. He didn't even know what to say. It wasn't that she made him feel awkward, he just didn't know if she meant to say it and how to deal with the fact she said it at all. 

“Ya didn't...I ...uh...Thanks? I guess,” he muttered, looking so bewildered. As Charlene looked at him, how he was acting, it suddenly dawned on her that somehow this incredibly attractive man wasn't used to compliments and she was fucking confused as all hell. He looked like a shy boy, not knowing how to deal with it all and she felt bad that she had put him on the spot like this, she felt bad that he was so unused to receiving compliments it reduced him to this.

She knew giving him space was probably the best option, to avoid any further embarrassment. 

“I’m gonna go and see what Merle’s up to,” she said softly, giving him a weary smile before she left the room. He just sat on the end of the bed, the closet was now closed and he could see his reflection glaring back at him. She hadn't meant to say it, that was the only logical explanation in his mind as he stared at himself. Self-worth was none existent to Daryl, he was used to it by now, it was just the way his life was. He had come to terms with the fact he meant nothing a long fucking time ago but it had never been such a fucking hard pill to swallow as it was right now. Knowing that what he wanted would never be within his reach.  _ She ain’t ever gonna be interested in a piece of shit like me. _


	14. Chapter 14

**I hope this doesn't come across as fillery. I really wanted to add this in and give you some insight into my interpretation of the brother's relationship and it’s actually important to my story.**

  
  


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Daryl was hiding out in the garage. Since the day before, hurricane Merle was on the warpath. Daryl decided to get the fuck out of dodge and avoid him, not wanting to deal with his bullshit or end up with the pair beating each other black and blue. It had been a few days now and the three of them spent most of their time in the main house. The treehouse still smelt like death and even though they all never discussed it, they had all been affected by the shit they saw that day, even Merle. So in the day, they all found themselves hanging out in the main house. It was bigger and there was plenty of shit to do, things to look through and be nosey at. Daryl was currently looking through all the tools in the garage when Merle stormed in, his face like thunder.

“Daryl, ya better tell ya little girlfriend to give me my shit back ‘fore I throw her over the damn walls,” he growled, glaring at him. Daryl quirked his brow confused, looking at his brother warily.

“The fuck ya talkin’ about?” he asked, earning a growl in response.

“I’m talkin’ about her stealin’ my stash! She fuckin’ took it and when I ask her about it, she tells me she don’t know what I’m talkin’ about!” he snapped. Daryl heaved a sigh, resisting the urge to roll his fucking eyes at him.

“Maybe she doesn’t man! Maybe ya lost it,” he shrugged. He realised he said the wrong thing as Merle's eyes darkened, his jaw clenching. This explained the moods, he was starting withdrawals.

“I ain't lost it asshole! She took it! I know she did, so tell her to give it back if ya want her to fuckin’ live!” he seethed, storming back out of the garage. 

Daryl closed his eyes, groaning to himself. He really didn't want to have to deal with this today, or any day for that matter. He knew she wouldn't have done it to purposely piss him off. Merle was an asshole depending on what he took and he knew she would only be wanting to help. Still, Merle withdrawing was the last thing they needed right now and now he was left to fucking try and solve the problem. He walked inside the house, knowing where to find her as he trudged up the stairs. Sure enough, he found her in one of the bedrooms lay on her belly on the bed as she read a book. He stood in the doorway and she glanced at him, gracing him with a little smile.

“Ya need to give Merle his shit back,” he sighed, wiping that pretty smile right off her face. She blinked at him, her face suddenly looking colder as she glanced back to the book.

“No idea what you're talking about,” she muttered, turning the page as she wouldn’t look at him. Girl was a damn bad liar and he heaved a sigh as he walked fully into the room, sitting on the bed. He sat with his back against the headboard and chewed his thumb.

“Charlene, I know ya wanna help, but this, it ain’t the way alright? Merles been usin’ for far too long. He can’t just quit cold turkey like this. He ain't just gonna be an asshole, but it's dangerous for him,” he said quietly, picking at a thread in the ugly orange blanket. 

She chewed her lip, silent for a moment before she closed the book and sat up, turning to face him.

“You know he's gonna run out some time right?” she asked him, not looking at him as she toyed with the edge of the book cover.

“I know, but we don't need to do this now. We need somewhere more permanent when we do this shit girl, and I need to keep ya far away from him when it happens,” he admitted, looking at her through his lashes. She wiped a hand over her face with a weary sigh, finally meeting his eyes. He held his breath as he looked at her imploringly.

“Daryl...He needs help. You say it's dangerous if he stops but what if he doesn't stop? He fucking strangled me, he jumped off the truck bed, giving me concussion in the process and then we got separated from you because of it. I know he's not used the harder stuff since, but what about when he runs out of the rest? When the hard stuffs all he has? Then what Daryl?” she frowned, her eyes boring into his.

He lowered his gaze as he swallowed thickly, clenching his jaw.

“Ya think I ain’t thought about that?” he lamented, shaking his head. He was starting to get annoyed, of course he had thought about all of this, it didn't mean he wanted to deal with it right now though.

“You're not helping him any by prolonging this,” she sighed, hoping to god she could get through to him, but when his face turned to her at her words, his eyes hardened and his nostrils flared.

“Fuck you! I ain't helpin’ him? Ya don't know shit girl. Ya been with us what? A couple of weeks? Ya don't know me or him, ya sure as fuck didn't try to know us before all this. Now we’re a use to ya, ya think ya can just fuckin’ butt a nose in where it don’t belong?!” he sneered, unable to quell the rage flowing through his veins. Merle was always a touchy subject with him, he couldn't help it. She frowned, shaking her head as she stood up and he watched her with a glare. She resisted the urge to tell him she did try to get to know him before all this, how she always tried to talk to him and he didn't want to know. How she put up with Merle’s bullshit hoping one day he would just stop and not be an asshole anymore.

“I know you care about him Daryl, but sometimes when you care about someone, you have to do things that aren't that nice in order to help them. Things are gonna get out of hand if they keep going this way, the dynamic between you...I don't think you'll deal with it until it's too late,” she muttered. She was about to go and grab her pack where the drugs were stashed but Daryl stood up with his jaw set.

“The fuck does that mean? The dynamic between us?” he spat, once again getting defensive. She inhaled a deep breath and pursed her lips.

“He's the big brother, you're the little brother. He leads, you follow. I know you argue like an old married couple that hates each other, but I know you both care. I know you don’t wanna see him go through withdrawals again Daryl, I know it's hard. But if he keeps going the way he is, the only shit left will be the hard stuff. Then what's gonna happen? He's gonna hurt people like when he strangled me? He's gonna put us all in harm's way like when he jumped from the truck?” her big green eyes were pleading with him and he knew every word she said was true, yet he couldn't seem to say that. His mouth could never betray his brother like that, his heart didn't have it in him to witness Merle withdrawing again, not now. It was always hard to see his brother in such a state, knowing he couldn't do a damn thing about it. His anger ebbed away, he had no control over it as her eyes just blinked up at him, all fucking shiny and green. 

He swallowed thickly and looked down, unable to take the weight of her gaze, feeling so much like a small boy under her watchful eyes.

“I'll deal with it, but not today,” he muttered, knowing she would be disappointed in him, he was fucking disappointed in himself. She shook her head, sighing as she grabbed her pack. She rummaged around and grabbed the bag with all the drugs in, handing it to him. When he glanced at her, she couldn't even look at him and he felt the pang in his chest. He was nothing but a failure, always was and always will be. He didn't know why it was bothering him so much now. He took the pills, willing his mouth to open and say something, fucking anything for her to stop making him feel like a piece of shit. But nothing came out. Instead, he just inhaled a shaky breath before swiftly leaving the room.

He stalked down the stairs, his mood turning sour as he went off to find his brother. He just knew to look in the garden, when Merle was itching for a hit, he hated being cooped up. He walked out and saw Merle pacing around the garden and Daryl stormed over, throwing the bag of drugs at him a little harshly. He hated the way his brother's eyes lit up at the sight of the drugs and he watched tensely as Merle practically ripped the bag open and got out a couple of pills of fuck knows what, swallowing them dry. 

“I knew I could count on ya baby brother,” he grinned gleefully, seeming to relax already just because the bag was in his hands. Daryl didn't smile at him though, he just glared as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

“We need to talk,” he stated seriously, making Merle look at him amused and quirk a brow.

“Oh yeah? About what?” he smirked, like he already knew where this was going.

“Ya can't keep doin’ this Merle. Ya gonna run out soon. Ya said yaself ya can't just quit like that, can't go cold turkey. Shouldn't ya be tryin’ to wean off it now? Whilst ya still have some left?” Daryl frowned, hoping his brother would see some fucking sense.

Merle just boomed a laugh and Daryl clenched his jaw as he rolled his eyes. Did he really expect anything different with this conversation?

“Don't ya worry about me little brother, I’ll be just fine,” Merle gave him a toothy grin as he went to step past him. Daryl sidestepped him, standing in front of him and the pair glared at each other for a moment. Daryl knew he should fight this, he knew he needed to get his brother to understand what was going to happen if he didn't wean off them now, just how bad it was going to get. But the look in Merles eyes made him lower his head, instantly submitting to him. It was almost like a learned reaction at this point and he shook his head as he stepped out of the way, letting Merle into the house. He hated himself, he knew Charlene was right about the dynamic between them. It was fucked up yet Daryl couldn't ever seem to shake the hold that Merle somehow had over him. He knew deep down it was born from their traumatic childhoods, but that knowledge did little to actually help him when it came down to it. He heaved a sigh, walking over to the picnic table and plonking down, not knowing what to do now.

Merle walked inside and sat on the couch. He tossed the bag onto the coffee table and glared at it as he wiped a hand over his face wearily. His relationship with drugs had always been complicated. His body craved them, fucking needed them by this point, but his brain wished he hadn't ever touched the stuff to begin with. He had been weak to start using. Wanting to erase all the pain and suffering he had been through. And now at the end of the world, they would all pay for it. He wasn't stupid or delusional. He knew his brother was right. He did need to wean off the drugs because if he waited until he ran out, going cold turkey could fucking kill him, or worse, end up getting Daryl and the girl killed. The thought made him feel ill and he lowered his head. Despite him knowing all this logically, it was another thing completely when you're an addict to get your body to fucking cooperate. To fight the deep need to use, to stop that feeling like you're drowning when you haven't had any.

If he was on his own, he wouldn't have give a shit really. But he didn't want to do this to his brother. He didn't want to get his brother hurt or killed because of his selfishness. He always put on airs about being such an asshole, and most of it was just his nature. But when it came to his brother, there wasn't a damn thing he wouldn't do if it meant Daryl had one more breath on this world. Sure he treated him like shit and talked down to him, but he did it because he was scared. Daryl was all Merle had, and once Daryl realised that he wasn't trash like Merle was, once his baby brother realised he didn’t need to sink this low, he would leave and then Merle would be all alone. That thought scared him more than anything. Daryl was like his lifeline, despite the fact he never showed it that way. He needed to keep the upper hand, he needed to keep the boy submissive so he could make sure he never left him, to make sure he would always be there to keep a watchful eye on his little brother.

Keeping Daryl safe had been second nature to Merle since they were children. He had already failed him in the worst way. Not that he would ever voice those thoughts out loud. When they were children, he would hide Daryl or make him go to the woods to stay clear of his father's rage. Merle would often put himself in the line of fire just so Daryl wouldn’t be subjected to the same horror he had. But after their mother died, it all got too much. The beatings got worse and Merle started using and hanging with the wrong crowd. He knew he would kill his father, so he joined the military in hopes to escape. He hoped stupidly his father wouldn't hurt Daryl, he hoped that his baby brother would be safe, that maybe his dad just fucking hated him instead. But deep down he knew. He didn't ever want to admit to himself, but deep down he knew what his father had done to Daryl. And that feeling of failing him so horribly, it was the worst feeling in the world. He needed to get his shit together. He needed to try and wean off this shit so he could finally do as his brother had begged him for years, get clean. He knew it would be hell, for all of them since his moods were gonna be a bitch. But he had to do this for Daryl. There was no way in hell he was going to be responsible for his brother getting hurt or killed out there, because of his selfishness, his inability to put others first. 

He thought back to the night he strangled the girl, what she had said to him. He hadn't remembered at first but somewhere along the way his memories came back to him. She had asked him who was supposed to look after his brother if he was high all the time. He had snapped, lashing out at her because that was what he did, he was a Dixon. But he knew deep down she was right. He was worried, because he knew she was fucking right and it killed him. Because no matter how much he loved his brother, no matter how much he vowed to keep him safe, as soon as that desperate need started clawing at him, feeling like he was drowning unless he took something, fucking anything, nothing else mattered. Logical thought would go out of the window, all he would be able to think about was how he needed to use and he would cave every time because he was weak and pathetic. But it couldn't continue like this. He’d already fucked up enough when he used the harder stuff and he didn't have any desire to do that again. To see that look of disappointment and anger in Daryl's eyes like the night he pointed his bow at him, when Merle’s hands were wrapped around the girl's neck. He needed to fucking get his shit together. He needed to change.


	15. Chapter 15

**Another long one lovelies.**

**So, a word about locations and such. I have no idea about American geography. I’m from the UK, and I literally spent hours staring at the map trying to figure shit out.**

**I don't plan, you guys know this by now. I free write my shit. But some things I do plan, like places, and I research a lot of shit extensively.**

**We don't get specific details in the show about Daryl and Merle before the group, but in the game Survival Instinct, the brothers lived in the mountains in North Georgia. So I was trying to pick a place and figure out routes to Atlanta and to where they are now and all of this and my brain was melting.**

**In the end, after talking to a friend of mine, I decided to just pick a place around the areas because its a fucking fictional story and I don't have to make things so complicated for myself. So if you know these areas and they seem weird or off or not realistic, please know I’m making shit up as I go along, I’m taking creative license :’)**

**You’ll also probably realise why I picked the place they are now when you read it. I won't even need to explain myself, it was like divine intervention loooooool**

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A week seemed to fly by and the three of them were getting pretty comfortable with the set up they had. The high walls gave them a sense of security, as well as sleeping up in the treehouse at night. Both Daryl and Charlene had noticed a change in Merle since Daryl's talk to him, but neither mentioned it. Merle had been using a little less but that meant he was more snappy. They would deal with it though because in the long run, it would be better. They feared if they brought it up, it would all just turn to shit, but they both noticed.

It was morning and the air felt stale. Daryl was munching on some canned meat on the couch in the treehouse. He had left Charlene asleep. He never wanted to wake her, not when she looked so peaceful. It was strange to him how comfortable he was sleeping next to her now. He almost felt like if she didn't sleep next to him he wouldn't be able to sleep. He always kept some distance between them, like if he touched her she might fucking explode or something. But she was there and the sound of her breathing would lull him to sleep every night, knowing she was safe. She had been practising with both him and Merle with her knife skills everyday and she was getting better. Next, he wanted to teach her how to use a gun, but with the noise it would draw, it would always be a last resort.

Merle flopped down next to him with a huff and Daryl eyed him carefully. He knew his brother was getting antsy, not just from his need to use. Both Daryl and his brother were used to being free spirits, doing as they pleased. And as much as they felt somewhat safe here, they both hated the feeling of being cooped up behind these damn walls. They were both itching to get out there, hunt, do fucking something. But that wasn't the way life was anymore. Merle was about to open his mouth to complain when a loud piercing noise filled the air.

“The fuck?” Daryl frowned, jumping up and glancing out of the window with his brother hot on his heels. The noise was loud, so loud it felt like his eardrums might burst.

“What's that noise?!” Charlene asked panicked as she ran into the room. Daryl might have thought she was adorable with her messy hair and sleepy face if it wasn't for that fucking noise ringing in his damn head.

“Sounds like some kinda alarm, maybe one of the houses,” Merle muttered tensely. They were waiting for it to stop but it didn't. Charlene covered her ears with a wince as she padded over to them both.

“How is it working without electricity?” she asked with a furrowed brow.

“Batteries probably,” Daryl shrugged as he wiped his hands on his jeans and tossed the can carelessly onto the floor. He watched as the girl went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, his eyes not able to look away from her as he tried to drown out the noise.

“Oh fuck,” Merle whispered, tearing Daryls away from Charlene as he looked back out of the window. His heart stilled in his chest when he saw them. Of course the noise would draw the dead, it was just how it worked. But they could see right down the street from how high up they were and it was like a sea of the dead coming right their way. The walls were high and sturdy, but that many of them, the brothers both knew it was risky. They didn't know if the walls could withstand that many of them, or if they would pile up and climb over each other. It was like time stopped for a moment as they both stood there in horror, watching what was coming there way. As if they had been slapped with reality, they both came to their senses.

“Grab the packs!” Merle yelled, running off to his room as Daryl ran over to Charlene, grabbing her wrist. She squeaked not having a clue what was going on as he hauled her ass into their bedroom.

“What's going on?” she frowned, watching him grab their packs that they kept ready on the off chance something happened. 

“Shit...a herd, more than the store. They're comin’ this way ‘cause of the noise,” Daryl muttered, grabbing the girls boots she hadn't put on yet and tossing them to her. Her face paled at his words and she just blinked at him as the fear ran through her body. Daryl tossed his bow over his shoulder, grabbing her knife and putting it into her hands. He didn't have time to deal with her being scared or in shock. He just grabbed her wrist firmly as he ran back out of the room. Merle was waiting by the door already and when Daryl glanced out of the window, the dead were much closer than he would have liked.

“C’mon, let's go!” Merle barked, climbing down the ladder first. Daryl shoved Charlene gently near the ladder, watching as she came back to reality. She tossed her boots over the side to grab when she was down there and clambered down after Merle, Daryl after her. They all ran over to the main house. Daryl had put the truck in the garage to keep it out of sight and they all ran to the garage, climbing into the truck. Charlene was in the middle seat as Daryl got in the driver's side. They both watched, fear racing through their bodies as Merle opened the door. There were some dead roaming the street but the sea of them were still heading their way. Merle hopped in beside Charlene as Daryl tore out of the garage and down the street, weaving through the few that were already at the house. 

The drive was silent and tense, they had a good thing and now it was fucking gone. Daryl wasn't sure how long he had been driving for and Merle fell asleep leaning against the window. When Daryl glanced at the girl, she looked so sad as she just stared out of the window. He knew she would take this harder than he or his brother. After everything she had been through, they finally had a roof over their heads and a sense of normal. And with a blink of an eye, it was gone. He wanted to say something, anything to make her feel better but he had nothing. Feeling eyes on her, Charlene glanced to him with her big sad eyes, making his heart squeeze painfully in his chest. He glanced back out to the road. He hated how he felt like he had failed her yet again. Failed to keep a roof over her head, failed to keep her fucking happy. He tensed a little when he felt her lean her head on his shoulder. He looked down at her before back away as he swallowed thickly, starting to relax a little. He liked the fact she found some comfort in him. 

They continued to drive and eventually, Daryl and Merle switched so Daryl could get some rest. He found himself unable to sleep though. Last time he let Merle drive and he fell asleep, they ended up fucking lost. They were still lost but he didn't feel too comfortable letting Merle just drive them wherever, so he just sat with his head leaning against the window as Charlene stirred beside him as she woke. The loss of the treehouse was looming over them all and the air in the truck was bitter from it. They were back on the road once more with nowhere safe to rest and a food supply that would run out. They left in such a hurry they weren't able to take more than what they already had packed with them.

“Fuckin’  _ Murphy _ ?! Are ya kiddin’ me?!” Daryl growled exasperated as Merle slowed the truck to a stop in front of a sign. 

“Murphy? As in North Carolina, Murphy?” Merle frowned, glaring at the sign in front of them like it might suddenly change.

“Isn't that like...the opposite way of Atlanta?” Charlene asked warily, glancing to Daryl who was still glaring at his brother.

“Yeah it is, good goin’ asshole,” he huffed, mad his brother had gotten them so lost they ended up in the wrong fucking direction completely. Merle wiped a hand over his face with a sigh before he started the truck again and started driving.

“Well look, it ain’t such a bad thing alright. Jacksons store’s up this way so we can go grab some shit,” Merle muttered.

“Jackson? Shit Merle all that stuff’s gonna be gone now!” Daryl scoffed, shaking his head as he clenched his jaw.

“What stuff?” Charlene asked hesitantly, worrying for a moment Merle was on about drugs, but she knew Daryl would have more to say if that was the case.

“My buddy Jackson owns a huntin’ store up here. Used to come here all the time with my buddies from the motorcycle club,” Merle replied, hitting the gas a little harder so they could get there before dark.

“Ya think people won't have looted the damn place by now?” Daryl scowled at him over the girls head, he just wanted them to go around and back to where they had planned. Back to potential safety for them and Charlene.

“I know they would have, but they don't know about his secret stash of goodies, little brother. Trust me, I know what I’m doin’,” Merle grinned, suddenly looking more upbeat about the whole being fucking lost bullshit.

“Yeah, heard that before,” Daryl muttered, glaring out of the window, watching as they flew by some of the dead stumbling around. Why should he get his hopes up? Every time he did he got shot down. 

They arrived soon enough and Merle pulled up beside the little store. The windows were all broke and it looked a mess.

“Told ya, ain't gonna be shit in there,” Daryl sighed, glancing at his brother.

“Shut up and come the fuck on.” Merle huffed impatiently, making sure he had his gun on him.

“Do we have to do this?” Charlene asked, making both brothers look at her. She sounded terrified and she glanced from one to another with her wide eyes. 

“Yeah we do. C’mon girlie, ya’ve been doin’ well with those knife skills of yours, it’ll be fine,” Merle stated firmly before he hopped out of the truck, leaving no room for discussion. Daryl shook his head, trying to ignore the growing agitation at his brother as he got out, keeping the girl by his side as they made their way over to the store. 

As he thought, all the shit was gone. Daryl had his bow at the ready as he went to check the back room, checking there weren't any stragglers to creep up and bite them in the ass. Charlene stood and watched Merle as he looked at the floor, tapping his foot on it. She didn't know if he was looking for something or if he had lost his mind. She heard a noise from behind her and whirled around, coming face to face with a biter that seemed to have ambled its way into the store. It felt like the air left her lungs and she stumbled backwards.

“Merle!” she cried out frantically, as she backed up.

“Use ya knife Charlene!” Merle barked at her, making her glance to him with wide eyes that he wasn’t even going to help her.

“I can’t! Merle do something!” she panicked, her back hitting the shelves as the dead one walked slowly over to her, its eyes on the prize.

“It’s gonna bite ya if ya don't fuckin’ get him girl, just get him in the eye!” Merle glared, making no move to go to her. 

Her chest felt tight and she felt the tears pricking her eyes. The fear was coursing through her veins as the thing got within arms reach of her, but she couldn't bring her hand to move as it gripped the handle of the knife tightly. Despite all the training, she hadn't killed one yet and as gross as it was, it still looked like a fucking person. The fear seemed to paralyse her and she squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for it to just fucking bite her. She heard a whoosh and thud and when she opened her eyes, there was an arrow through the biter's temple as it lay on the floor. 

Daryl stood there, chest heaving as he glared at his brother who was now squinting at him with disdain.

“The fuck was that?!” Daryl roared as he stormed over, shoving his brother with his free hand. Merle just set his jaw and glared at him.

“That was supposed to be the girl earnin’ her stripes! She needs to fuckin’ kill ‘em sometime Daryl!” he growled, annoyed that his brother had to swoop in. How was she ever gonna learn if they just kept her wrapped in a bubble?

“Earnin’ her stripes?! She was about to get fuckin’ bit!” Daryl yelled. His heart was racing inside of his ribcage. Walking in when he heard shouting to see that fucking thing about to take a chunk out of her. Watching as she closed her eyes like she was just going to let it happen. And his brother was just stood there making no move to help. He felt ready to fucking explode.

“Can we just hurry up and get out of here?!” Charlene pleaded in a mere whisper. Daryl looked at her then, watching as she sniffled and wiped her eyes with shaky hands. He would have some fucking serious words with his brother when they got out of here, he would be lucky if he didn't tear his damn limbs off for this. Merle continued looking for a second before he crouched, he picked at a tile on the floor until it came away and Daryl squinted. It revealed some kind of handle and Merle yanked it open as he stood. It was like some kind of hidden basement and Daryl rolled his eyes. Lord only knew what else was down there that needed to be hidden away, he wasn't surprised that his brother knew about something shady like this. 

Merle went down first, gun drawn just in case and then Daryl looked at Charlene. She was still shaking a little and he chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to calm himself until they got out of here. 

“C’mon,” he said softly, making her look at him. She nodded jerkily before she trotted off down the steps after Merle and he went behind her. Shutting the door after him as he drew his bow if he needed it. It was pitch black down there and Daryl narrowed his eyes, it was too dark for them to even adjust properly and he flinched when something touched his arm. He relaxed instantly though when he heard the girl gasp from next to him, making it obvious it was her.

“Daryl?!” she whispered panicked, stood tense as her heart thumped away. She sounded so much like a frightened child.

“It's me, ya fine,” he soothed, reaching his free hand out blindly and grasping her wrist. She was trembling and she stepped even closer to him, practically pressing her side against his. He could feel her pulse under his fingertips on her wrist and it was erratic and wild. Once again he felt bad for this whole shit show, that she was scared.

“Shit, I know it's around here somewhere,” Merle grumped as he fumbled around in the dark looking for the generator. He knew it was here and once he found it he could rub it in his brothers face that he was right and coming here was a damn good idea. 

Daryl stood tense with the girl as he waited. He’d been here before to the store but he had no idea about this room. It unnerved him how fucking dark it was and the only good thing was the lack of noise down here. It would have been a fucking pain in the ass to fight off the dead without the gift of sight. Suddenly the lights came on and Daryl groaned, screwing his eyes shut as he was fucking blind for a moment.

“Shit,” he grumbled, cracking his eyes open to let them adjust and hoping his eyeballs weren't about to fucking fall out. When his eyes adjusted he shook his head with a snort. The room had all kinds of weapons all over the place. On the walls, on shelves. Ammo, guns, knives, all sorts of shit. Fancy shit too, not like the standard bullshit from upstairs. And when he turned his eyes to his brother, he was grinning at him from ear to ear. Merle didn't even need to tell him that he told him so, it was written all over that fucking face of his and Daryl threw his hands up in defeat.

“Fine, ya came through. Ya happy?” he asked, looking at Merle amused. Merle let out a booming laugh as he walked over to the guns.

“Damn right I am. Now let's grab as much as we can and haul ass out of here,” he said, grabbing a gun and looking it over. Daryl glanced down to the girl. She was squinting as she blinked around, the sudden light still hurting her eyes it seemed.

“Look around and grab some shit alright?” he asked quietly, causing her to look up at him. She nodded, still looking spooked from Merle's bullshit not long ago as she walked over to the knives. She took her pack off and started stuffing as much as she could into it. Daryl got to work then, walking over and looking at shit. His face actually lit up when he saw a shit tonne of bolts and he smirked, picking them up to look at them.

“What's this?” Charlene asked, making both he and his brother turn to look at her. Merle chuckled and Daryl's lips quirked into a smile seeing her holding the weapon.

“That there's a tactical tomahawk girlie, ya should take it,” Merle grinned. Daryl was still looking at her, he had no idea how she managed to look cute holding the damn thing but she did. He walked over to her, taking the other identical tomahawk and inspecting it. It was good quality.

“How do you use it?” she asked softly, turning her big eyes up to him. All his anger from before seemed to melt from him as he just looked down at her adoringly. How bright the green was in her eyes, how the specks of orange seemed to glow. Thankfully she was looking back down at the weapon so she didn't fucking notice.  _ Shit, I make myself sick... _

“Well ya got both ends, but this side is perfect for gettin’ the biters. Just like ya knife, get the soft spots or through the eye. Hit ‘em like it’s a hammer. Can throw ‘em too,” he explained, watching as she nodded and gave him a little smile. 

“Here,” he said as he grabbed the belt next to them. He clipped it around her hips, trying not to think about how he was fucking touching her. He attached the tomahawks, one on each hip and swallowed thickly. Why in the ever loving fuck did seeing her with weapons strapped to her turn him on? Was this really the time or place? No, it wasn't. There wouldn't ever be a time or place where it was acceptable. He took a step back trying to create some distance since his body had decided to act like a hormonal teenager all over again, and he lowered his gaze.

“Thanks, Daryl,” she smiled softly.

The three of them carried on taking what they could. Ammo, spare weapons, bolts and knives. Their packs were heavy by the time they were done and Charlene was struggling as they walked back to the truck. She tried not to let it show though, she hated feeling like she couldn't keep up with them.

“I got it,” Daryl muttered from beside her as they neared the truck. Grabbing the pack off her shoulder. She turned and squinted at him, causing him to still his motions, pack in hand. He wasn't sure what the fuck he did to earn that look.

“I had it, it was fine,” she huffed, furrowing her brow a little. That's what it was then.

“Look, ain’t nothin’ wrong with it bein’ fuckin’ heavy. You’re small Charlene, this things heavy even to me. No sense in hurtin’ yaself just to get it to the damn truck,” he chided, giving her a stern look. She pulled a face at him before trudging back to the truck, making him snort a little as he followed her.

“What now?” Charlene asked, sat between them as usual as Daryl started the truck. He was still seething with rage from his brother being a fucking idiot earlier, but he was bottling it up. He would store it away for it to come out some point later. He knew a screaming match in the truck in front of her was the last thing she needed and he was trying to think rationally for once, for her. So he would squirrel that rage away and when they had somewhere safer, he would let it all out. And he had a sneaking feeling he might just break his brother's fucking face.

“Still think we should head to Atlanta. Lord knows we keep gettin’ chased outta places, but we know where we are now. Head on back down and see what happens,” Merle suggested as he glanced at Daryl over her head, looking like he had seemingly forgotten what he had done. Like it wasn't a big fucking deal. Daryl's hands clenched around the steering wheel as he glared at him, letting him know he was still pissed.

“Might as well,” he bit out, starting the truck and driving.

After a little while, Merle had fallen asleep leaning against the window and Daryl kept glancing to Charlene. She always slept a lot in the tuck, no doubt from being so small and having to keep up with them both. But now she wasn't asleep, she was fidgety and it was driving him insane. He knew it was bothering her, what had happened, and he couldn't say he blamed her.

“M’sorry...bout Merle,” he huffed, clenching his jaw at the rage that flooded him as the image resurfaced in his mind. He had been so fucking scared she was about to get bit and Merle was just stood there like a fucking jackass.

“I hate it when you do that,” she scowled, shocking him for a minute. He was that stunned by her tone that he stopped the truck and looked at her bewildered.

“How many times have you apologized for your brother since we met Daryl? None of it is your fault. You are not your brother. You don’t have to apologise for him every time he fucks up. That’s on him. Stop fucking shouldering the blame every time he does something wrong,” she ranted angrily. Daryl just blinked at her for a moment. He hadn't ever really realised he did that, but when he thought about it, he felt like he was always saying sorry to her for things Merle did. 

“Alright,” he muttered, not really knowing what else to say. Things were getting a little too deep for his liking, he was fighting the urge to jump out of the window and run.

“It's fine. Just think about it next time. If he fucks up, it's not your fault and you have no need to say sorry. You saved my life back there Daryl,” she whispered, making him look at her. Why did she have to be the prettiest damn girl he had ever laid his eyes on? Now sat so close to him, her big shiny eyes boring holes into him. It made his heart beat all funny and his throat closed up. Fuck, how he’d love to kiss her. What the fuck would that be like? To feel those soft-looking lips on his. It would never be something he would get to experience. Not only because he never had enough confidence to make such a move unless he was drunk as fuck. But because girls like Charlene would never even look at him twice, so even if he did somehow find some confidence in him, she would probably break his damn nose. 

He had to look away, it was all getting a little too much and he felt ready to crawl out of his fucking skin. He didn't say a word as he started driving again, fishing out his smokes from his pocket and lighting up with the window down. His hands were trembling a little and he greedily inhaled the nicotine, hoping it would ease his shot nerves. The fuck was she doing to him? It was bad enough before the turn. How he would seek her out at her places of work just to catch a glimpse of her, so she could give him that pretty kind smile she always did. The one that always made him feel like not such a piece of shit. She was the only person to ever really make him feel like that. So he would go to the store to buy things he didn't need when he knew she was there, because he was selfish and sometimes that smile was all he fucking had to look forward to. And now here he was, sat next to the girl with the pretty smile, keeping her alive. 

“We should go back through Blue Ridge on the way. Need to go out and hunt somethin’,” he said gruffly, his hand twitching at the need to use his bow. To kill something, to feel the thrill of the hunt. She blinked at him and nodded, a little smile working its way onto her lips.

“Can I come with you?” she asked hopefully. But he could see it in her eyes, the slither of fear no doubt from being left with Merle. The pair had been getting on really well but she was still shaken up from him not coming to help her. 

Daryl knew deep down his brother didn't do it because he wanted her to get hurt. Merle always did this kind of shit to him growing up, making him harden up, be a real man. And now it seemed Merle thought Charlene needed to toughen up. He wasn't wrong really. She did need to learn to kill the dead at some point. What the fuck would she do if she got separated from them? The thought made his heart ache and he rubbed his chest absentmindedly as he inhaled his smoke again. They needed to teach her shit, but before Merle threw her to the fucking wolves, they needed to make sure she was ready. In a weird twisted way, what Merle did was a testament to how much he liked the girl. That he wanted her to toughen up and learn to look after herself. Just how he had taught Daryl. But that shit wasn't gonna fly with Daryl at all, because Daryl had lived it first hand and he knew just how traumatic some of that bullshit was that Merle would pull. If they were gonna teach her, they’d do it right and they’d do it his way. Especially with his brother having his head up his ass since he was using less, he was clearly not as compassionate when his body was screaming for drugs.

“Yeah. Just make sure ya stick by me and do what I say,” he replied, trying not to look at her, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

“I will. I promise,” she smiled, relaxing a little next to him. They were silent then, and he was grateful when the girl fell asleep leaning against him. He really didn't know why she did that. Always gravitating towards him, especially when she slept. He supposed it was because he kept her safe. Still, he enjoyed having her so comfortable around him, being able to sleep in the same bed as him or sleep like this. The silence was peaceful for him as he drove. Both the girl and Merle fast asleep. He tried to relish in the quiet knowing it wouldn't last for too long. It never fucking did these days.  _ If ya can hear me God...yer a fuckin’ asshole…  _


	16. Chapter 16

**I started thinking about certain things you don't really see in the show and this one happened :’)**

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There are some things about the end of the world that other people might take for granted. Things like not having a bathroom to use, no privacy or modesty. The new world had no place for these things. Since Daryl refused to let the girl out of his sight and didn't fully trust Merle with her, whenever one would need to stop to use the bathroom, the other would have to go. Daryl would stand looking away awkwardly, his bow ready for any dangers. It was awkward as shit this new world, and it was difficult to get used to. Daryl had the words with his brother he had been waiting to have, but it wasn't in private like he planned. He ended up erupting in the car when she was asleep and he had woken her up. He couldn't stop himself though as he yelled at Merle, threatened him.  _ ‘Ya fuckin’ pull that shit again and ya’ll be pickin’ up ya damn teeth off the floor!’ _ But much to everyone's surprise, Merle fucking apologised. It had stunned Daryl and Charlene but they were both grateful he had done it. Daryl knew Merle was right, the girl needed to learn. But he was glad his brother saw sense that what he did wasn't the right way to go about it.

Daryl was stood smoking, leaning against the side of the truck. Merle needed to piss and he was behind a tree, Daryl still watching out for any of the dead fucks if they popped out. Charlene had been weirdly quiet all day and she was sitting in the truck, but she suddenly appeared beside him. She was grimacing, her hand resting on her belly as she stood next to him.

“S’wrong?” he asked with a squint, worried she had hurt herself somehow. Her little face was all scrunched up and she looked less than happy.

“Oh...uh… nothing. Look, I need us to stop off at a store or pharmacy or something,” she said quietly, her cheeks flushing slightly as her eyes looked anywhere but at him. His eyes narrowed further as he tilted his head to look at her.

“Why?” he asked suspiciously. Merle came back over then, glancing between them.

“What's goin’ on?” he asked, eyes settling on his brother.

“She wants us to go to a store or pharmacy,” Daryl shrugged, looking back at her. Her face was crimson as she glared at the floor.

“What ya need to go for? If yer hurt ya need to let us look at it,” Daryl frowned down at her, not understanding why she was acting strange.

“It's nothing, I’m not hurt. I just need some things,” she muttered, shaking her head. Daryl was bewildered as he looked at her. She was acting weird as shit. Merle barked out a laugh and it only seemed to make her blush more.

“Shit, I see now girl,” Merle smirked, making her squeeze her eyes shut in exasperation.

“Will someone tell me what the fuck is goin’ on?” Daryl huffed, having enough of this weird fucking bullshit and evasiveness.

“I know ya ain't this clueless with women fuckhead.  _ It's shark week brother _ ,” Merle grinned, slinging an arm around Charlene's shoulders. Her small body jostled as he pulled her closer and she groaned, covering her face with her hands as she wished for the ground to swallow her whole.

“Wha-” Daryl's eyes widened when he realised what his brother was on about and he looked down, his own cheeks flushing. Well this shit was fucking embarrassing. Merle just laughed at them both and shook his head.

“Well ain't you two a fuckin’ pair. Don't worry girlie, we’ll get ya what ya need. If ya need anythin’ for the pain, Ol’ Merle has a lot of good shit,” Merle snorted, letting her go and walking around to hop in his side of the truck.

Charlene watched after him blinking slowly, Daryl’s jaw slack before he squinted at the truck.

“Did he just...offer me drugs?” she asked, sounding incredulous he would even do such a thing.

“Yeah… don't think for a second I’d let ya take any neither,” he huffed, looking at her carefully with narrowed eyes.

“Ass,” she snorted, rolling her eyes. Like she would ever have the desire to use something in that bag of Merle’s. She hopped back into the truck and Daryl got in after her, starting it up. They had passed a store not that far back so he decided they might as well just go there whilst they were still in the area. It had seemed pretty low in biter activity which was good.

When they pulled up, Charlene was fidgeting like crazy with a frown.

“Well c’mon then girl, let's go,” Merle said gruffly, about to get out. His moods were all over the place from using less and clearly, he was less patient.

“Wait...can't you just...could you get them for me?” she asked, her voice a small mumble.

“Why the fuck cant ya get ‘em yaself?” Merle huffed. Daryl shook his head, he just wanted this shit over with so they could leave again and get back on track.

“I can't,” she frowned, once again blushing.

“Why?” Merle squinted. Daryl heaved a sigh, leaning back in the seat a little.

“Can we just fuckin’ go or what? We’re wastin’ daylight here,” he grumped, glaring at his brother.

“I’ve bled through my pants,” the small voice was almost a whisper and both brothers were unsure they had heard it at all at first. It was deathly silent suddenly in the truck as she closed her eyes, cheeks a pretty pink colour. She really wanted to disappear, to cease to exist completely.

“Alright, what ya need?” Merle muttered, looking awkward as shit about the whole thing, it was almost comical. She looked at him grateful that he had relented, that he had not embarrassed her further.

“Pads, any will do. If they don't have pads then tampons,” she murmured, not able to look at either of them. 

“Can't say I've ever gone and bought lady things for a woman before,” Merle laughed and hopped out as he ran over and into the store. Daryl didn't need to ask if he needed him to go with him, he knew his brother would say no and he didn't really want to leave the girl alone. She felt her chest tighten, an overwhelming sadness. She hated her periods. She always got bad PMS and right now she was mortified and it was making her emotional. She felt the tears well in her eyes as she bit down on her lower lip trying to calm herself.

Daryl glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, she was being unusually quiet. He saw her looking ready to cry and his eyes widened, panic all over his face.

“Aw fuck girl, don't cry,” he lamented, looking horrified. Like fuck he knew how to deal with a hormonal girl.  _ Dear Lord, what the fuck did I ever do to make ya hate me this much?  _ Charlene sniffled, lowering her head as she wiped her eyes.

“I think I’ve bled on the seat, and it's gonna stain and it's gross and you'll hate me,” she rambled, a soft sob escaping her lips. Daryl watched her mortified, not knowing what the fuck to do. She looked so sad and it was like it caused him actual pain to see.

“I ain't gonna hate ya Charlene. I don't give a fuck. It's normal, it's a natural thing that happens. Bit of blood ain't nothin’. ‘Sides, its Merles truck, there's plenty of stains already in here,” he shrugged, smirking a little at the end statement. 

Her eyes widened as she looked up at him, looking disgusted by what he had said.

“Ew,” she whispered, making him snort. He hadn't lied though, he didn't dare think the shit that went on in here before the turn. Merle came running out of the store then and Daryl huffed a laugh at the sight of him. Fucking boxes and boxes of pads in his arms as he jumped back into the truck. He dumped them in Charlene's lap who was looking at him dumbfounded by the sheer amount of pads he had grabbed.

“Just grabbed all of ‘em, didn't know what the fuck any of ‘em were. Fuckin’ light flow, heavy flow, night time ones. Who needs that many different fuckin’ things?” Merle asked, looking horrified. Like he had been to war and seen the worst of things and he would never be the same again.

“Thanks Merle,” she smiled, feeling a little better because it was amusing. She was grateful he had gone in there for her. And these would last her a while, hopefully she wouldn't have any other embarrassing incidents now.

“I’m gonna need somewhere to...you know,” she said carefully, biting her lower lip as she looked at Daryl. Daryl cleared his throat, feeling awkward as he nodded and started the truck. He drove just a little bit away from the store where there was a decent amount of trees. He didn't want her whipping her pants off out in the open like that. When he stopped the truck, Charlene got a pad out of the box and almost snorted when both brothers looked away, like if they laid their eyes on it they might burn out of their sockets. She grabbed the only spare pair of jeans she had, feeling sad she would have to toss the ones she had on. She discreetly got a fresh pair of panties, grateful the brothers were still averting their eyes, and she hid them inside her jeans. Daryl slipped out of the truck and she didn't need to say anything. She knew he would be going with her, he always did. No matter how weird and awkward it was. They walked a little away through the trees and Daryl turned around. His bow was ready if he needed it as he scanned the trees, waiting for her to be done with what she was doing.

He could hear her shuffling and grumping to herself as she no doubt tossed her jeans and he resisted the urge to look back. It was just a natural reaction, wanting to check she was alright back there. But he didn't, he knew she would kick his nuts up in his throat if he turned around and saw her with her drawers around her fucking ankles. 

“Okay, I’m done,” she squeaked. He felt relieved to be able to turn around, like looking at her was some sort of comfort, seeing with his own eyes she was okay. She had black jeans on now and he noticed the others discarded by the tree. He nodded, chewing his lower lip as he took in her pretty pink cheeks. She was frowning though, her hand on her lower belly.

“It hurt?” he asked warily, glancing from her stomach to her scrunched up face as she walked over to him.

“Just the cramps, I always have bad ones,” she sighed, looking all sad. Daryl just wanted to scoop her up and cuddle her, make her feel better.  _ Wait, what?... _

“I’ll be fine,” she smiled weakly, breaking him out of his weird-ass thoughts. He needed to get a fucking grip on himself.

They walked back to the truck slowly with him glancing at her every now and again. He didn't like that she was in pain. This was something he couldn't fix and he hated it. He wanted to make her feel better, he wanted to ease her pain. But this was something natural, something he couldn't do much to help her with. Especially without pain meds. He sure as fuck wasn't letting her have anything from Merle's stash. He watched as she got in the truck before he sighed and got in after her.

“All done girlie?” Merle smirked, making her sneer at him as she laid her head on Daryl's shoulder. It seemed to be the permanent place for it when they were in the truck, no matter if he was driving or not. She would just lay her head on him, leaning right on him. Making his whole body burst with tingles that made him want to run himself over.

“We should head to a gas station, see if there's anythin’ left. Trucks runnin’ on fumes now and we could do with findin’ a map. Plan the best route to Atlanta,” Merle said after a few minutes of silence as Daryl drove. He looked to the gas and saw he was right, it was a good idea. The quicker they could get there, the quicker they could hopefully find somewhere for Charlene to be safe at. A roof over her pretty little head, some better food in her belly, maybe even medicine. She ended up dozing off, seemingly content lay against him, soft snores leaving her lips.

“So when ya gonna make a move little brother?” Merle asked glancing to Daryl with a knowing look in his eyes, a shit-eating grin on his face. Daryl tensed, his hands clenching around the steering wheel.

“Ain't no move to make,” he bit out, not looking at him as he glared at the road in front of him.

“Ain’t that cute. You two pussies both like each other but too afraid to make a move. Ya gonna be 80 before ya even kiss her at this rate,” Merle laughed, shaking his head. Daryl growled, starting to get annoyed as he turned to give Merle a dirty look.

“She ain't like me like that, so stop talkin’ shit. Just keep ya damn mouth shut for once,” he huffed. Every time he thought about it, really fucking thought about the fact she was way too good for him, how she wouldn't ever think of him that way, it made his insides hurt. It made him hate himself more than he had ever hated himself. Hating the fact he was born a Dixon, hating the fact he was living this cursed miserable existence.

“Aw c’mon now Daryl. She fuckin’ likes ya. Ya might not see it, but I do. Just make a move already,” Merle chided, looking all stern as Daryl glanced to him.  _ Assholes lost his damn mind. _ He shook his head, trying to ignore his brother and his stupid fucking mouth. He didn't know shit. She didn't like him one bit. She was stuck here with him, he kept her safe and she liked that about him and that was it. Ain't no way in hell she would ever think of him as someone more than a protector. Merle heaved a sigh, knowing his brother wouldn't listen to him. He wanted to shake the shit outta him to get him to listen. Merle looked out of the window, wishing his brother could see what he saw.

“There ain’t a pot too crooked that a lid won't fit, and I think ya might have found ya lid brother. Wish ya’d just open ya damn eyes,” Merle muttered. Daryl swallowed thickly, looking to his brother confused and weary. He wasn't sure why Merle was saying this shit to him, wasn't sure why he was acting like he cared. 

“It ain’t gonna happen Merle. A girl like her...she ain't ever want a man like me,” Daryl said quietly, his voice wavering just a little at saying such a thing out loud to his brother. Merle inhaled a deep breath, looking back at his little brother with a frown.

“Ya’ll see it one day Daryl, and I hope for your sake it's before it's too late,” he replied. The silence hung in the air after that, thick and stale. It felt like it was choking him. Merles last words rang around in his head.  _ Before it's too late. What if she dies? What if somethin’ happens to her and I never see her again? What if she gets bit and I have to put her down?  _ His thoughts were going in a downward spiral and his chest suddenly got incredibly tight. He felt sick at the thoughts, making panic claw its way out from under his skin. He couldn't even put his dad down after he got bit, even after all the asshole had ever done to him. When it came down to it, he couldn't bring himself to do it. It had been his uncle Jess that had to do it. And if Charlene got bit...no. He’d rather put a bullet between his own eyes before he had to do that, no matter how selfish that was. 

He knew he couldn't tell her, he knew he couldn't make a move because it would never happen. It was just a fucking fantasy in his head that she would ever want him that way. And if he dared make a move, he would ruin what little he had with her. She may not have liked him that way but he was still blessed with being around her. To be the man to protect her, to feed her, to make her feel safe. To be the one she slept next to, the one she spent all of her time with. And that meant all the world to Daryl. That the girl who made his heart beat all funny from just a smile, even before all of this, the girl who he would go out of his way to see just for a brief few minutes because it would brighten his day; that girl was here now and was actually spending time with him. Something he never even thought possible. He couldn't ruin that. He couldn't tell her or make a move only to have her repulsed by him, not ever wanting to be around him again. If he lost that, if he lost her...well shit, he didn't think he'd have anything left if that happened. 

Her smile had been his only source of happiness for two damn years, he felt like he would drown if he didn't get to see it. It was like Merle with his damn pills, but he was addicted to the pretty girl who made him feel a little less like he was trash. Like he wasn't completely worthless. She would look at him like he held all the answers, like she really thought he knew everything. She would make comments about him being a good hunter, thanking him all the damn time for keeping her safe or giving her food. He knew he was lucky even for that, and like hell he was going to sabotage this for himself. Merle didn't know a damn thing. She was too good for him in every sense of the word. He would just watch over her and keep her safe. It was all he had but it was all he needed right now.

  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**What are you guys thinking of the flashbacks I keep putting in? Do you like them? I really like putting young Daryl in here and also times where the boys interacted with Charlene before all of this.**

**Are you guys liking this story so far? I’m loving writing it to be honest.**

**Some flooof for you lovelies.**

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_ “Wait in the car,” Daryl grumped, glaring at his brother. Merle just snorted holding his hands up in surrender. He had just finished a brief 3-month stint in jail and Daryl felt like he was a fucking caretaker. Having to make sure he behaved himself so he didn't go back. That and also, he really didn't want Merle to harass the girl in the store. He hated when Merle would go in there with him, watching as Merle flirted shamelessly with her, said all kind of crude fucking shit to her. It made him so ashamed of being a fucking Dixon.  _

_ “Don't worry little brother, I’mma stay right here,” he grinned, grabbing a little bag of coke out of his pocket. Daryl clenched his jaw, shaking his head as he hopped out of the truck and slammed the door. The few months his brother had been away were peaceful. He felt bad for feeling some sort of relief when his brother was in prison, but it was the only time he could just chill the fuck out and not be bailing his ass out every five minutes.  _

_ He walked into the store, his eyes glancing over to the counter and seeing the girl. Charlene, that's what he had learnt her name was just the week before. His friend Billy’s sister was apparently friends with her. She didn't look happy today though. Usually, she looked cheery even without smiling but today she looked troubled, worn down. There were dark rings around her eyes and she looked tired. He had found out a lot of shit from Billy's sister who loved to talk about anything and everything. He hadn’t even mentioned the girl but since she was friends with her, when he went to see Billy, he would end up hearing about her. He knew she was having a hard time since her preacher dad had become a drunk. She was working numerous jobs to keep the house and pay the bills by herself.  _

_ He felt nervous as he looked at things he didn't really need. He always did this. He only came here for her. Every time she smiled at him, said anything to him, it made him feel a little less worthless. He knew it was pathetic, that this was what his life had resorted to. Fucking going to the store for no reason so the sweet pretty girl would smile at him. He walked further through the aisles, grabbing some potato chips and some other snacks he didn't really care about. He couldn't see the counter from where he was but then he heard his brothers booming voice and he stilled completely.  _

_ He swallowed thickly as he walked around and saw Merle at the counter, approaching the pair warily.  _

_ “Ya heard this Daryl? Some fuckin’ loan sharks came in and took a bunch of their shit last night. Threatened her,” Merle seethed, turning to look at his brother with his wild eyes. Daryl's own eyes widened a little, looking to Charlene. She looked so fucking sad and stressed and he frowned. The thought of assholes like that in her house, intimidating her like that, it sent a surge of rage through his body.  _

_ “They hurt ya?” he rasped, making her eyes turn to him. He hadn't actually ever spoke to her before now and she was a little shocked. She shook her head, running a shaky hand through her long wavy brown hair. _

_ “No. They just pushed me around a little, took some of our stuff. They said if I didn't have the money by the end of the week they were gonna break my knee caps,” she lamented, looking spooked.  _

_ Daryl's jaw clenched as he looked to his brother. He was shocked to see his brother just as mad. It seemed that despite his constant harassment and the girl's constant rebuffs, he still didn't like the idea of her being hurt. Men hurting women was something both he and Merle could never stand by. _

_ “How much ya owe?” Merle asked, scratching the scruff on his chin as he looked at her. Her face flushed as she looked down toying with her hands. Daryl had no doubt it had been her father that took out the loan, he doubted the sweet little preacher's daughter would even know who to get that kind of loan off. Her dad might have been a preacher, but he had lost his fucking way by a long shot. _

_ “$3000,” she whispered softly. It felt like the air left his lungs and he scrunched his face up. That was a lot of fucking money to get together by the end of the week and he wasn't stupid enough to think she would be able to do it. She was fucked. And now he was gonna be sat there worried that some assholes were gonna come and break her tiny little body. _

_ “Ya don't need to worry about it sugar, alright? Me and my little brother here will take care of it,” Merle grinned as he slapped Daryl on the back. _

_ “We will?” Daryl muttered warily, side glancing at Merle.  _

_ He knew whatever his brother was planning would be something he wanted no part of and most likely, very fucking illegal.  _

_ “Yeah, we will,” Merle said firmly, shooting a brother a look. _

_ “No guys, I can't drag you into this mess,” she sighed as she shook her head. Daryl just wanted her to stop looking so fucking sad, it made him miserable. _

_ “It’s fine. We’re used to this kinda shit. Just don’t worry ya pretty little head about. We’ll fix it,” Merle declared proudly. Daryl wondered just why the fuck he was going to these lengths to help her. Then he remembered his brother wanted to get in her pants and he was no doubt trying to score points. _

_ Later that night Daryl found himself sat in his truck across the street from the girl's house. She didn't know he was there and she wouldn't find out either. He had been at home and he couldn't settle, worrying that some more guys would come and hurt her somehow. The deep need to check on her, to protect her from harm, it was too strong as it ran through his veins and before he knew it, he was here. He lit up a smoke as he watched carefully out of the window, waiting for any sign of trouble. This went on for days, Daryl sitting outside her house all damn night, falling asleep in his truck. Every morning he would wake and high tail it out of there before she fucking caught him. That shit would have been embarrassing. _

_ Merle had not disclosed his plans to Daryl. He had told him it would be best if he didn't know. Daryl was part relieved he didn't know what the fuck his brother was up to and part worried. He knew it was something bad. Either way, Merle suddenly had a bag of fucking money and Daryl found himself driving to her house again. Only this time his brother was with him. As they pulled up though they saw another car parked outside. Daryl tensed and he knew his brother did the same as the truck came to a stop. _

_ “Got ya gun?” Merle asked tensely, glancing at him. Daryl nodded, glad he had brought it with him. They got out and as they approached the house, they could hear yelling and Charlene crying.  _

_ Merle opened the door, aiming his gun at some asshole in the living room. Daryl was right behind him and he aimed his gun at the asshole that had Charlene pinned to the wall by her throat. She was sobbing, her whole body trembling and Daryl swallowed thickly. He was so used to her being so happy all the damn time, seeing this side to her was disturbing. _

_ “Ya gonna step away from the girl now. We got ya shit, so fuckin’ leave,” Merle sneered, glaring from one man to another. They were big fucks but they wouldn't be a match for a few bullets. Merle’s spare hand was holding the duffel with the money in and the guy not pinning Charlene smirked as he looked at it. Daryl couldn't take his eyes off the other prick though, his hands on her like that, making her fucking cry. _

_ “Ya got two seconds to get ya fuckin’ hands off her ‘fore I put a bullet ‘tween ya damn eyes,” Daryl growled, his voice was low and downright menacing as the other guy looked at him. He must have seen the rage behind Daryl's baby blue eyes, seen that he wasn't fucking lying, because the man let her go and took a step back. _

_ Daryl breathed a sigh of relief. Every second he had seen that asshole touching her like that, it was chipping away at his sanity. It made him care less about being a better man. He would gladly murder this prick and do the fucking time for it with how he had upset the girl. Merle tossed the bag at their feet but made no move to lower his gun. He didn't know what heat they were packing and they weren’t about to get caught with their asses hanging out. One of them crouched, opening the bag and quickly assessing the money. _

_ “Nice doin’ business with ya sweetcheeks,” one of them smirked as they both left. One of them purposely barging Daryl’s wide shoulder as he went past. Daryl snarled, about to lunge at him, cave his fucking face in like he wanted to, but Merle gripped the back of his neck, making him still instantly.  _

_ “Easy now brother,” he warned, waiting as he felt Daryl relax the tiniest amount. He let him go then and Daryl rolled his shoulders, trying to will away the rage that was flooding him. Charlene wiped her eyes with a sniffle, looking at them incredulously. _

_ “You didn't have to do that,” she whispered with a shaky voice, trying to calm her nerves as she held a hand over her heart. _

_ “Told ya we’d take care of it and we did. Let us know if they give ya more trouble,” Merle grinned, like nothing had happened. Daryl was still tense and he was glad they got here when they did and not a second later. _

_ “Can I...can I do anything? Do you want a drink, or maybe dinner or something? To say thanks?” she asked, looking from Merle to Daryl. He looked away from her wide eyes and how they looked at him, making him feel all kinds of fucking funny. He didn't like it.  _

_ “We’ll take a rain check sugar, maybe tomorrow,” Merle said, patting her shoulder a little before he moved to the door. Daryl followed his lead, wondering why Merle wasn't taking her up on her offer, knowing they had no food at home. He wasn't sure how he felt about his brother doing something decent and then not accepting anything in return right away, it was weird as fuck.  _

_ Daryl was closest to her since Merle was already at the door and before he knew what was happening, she was walking over and wrapping her arms around his middle. He went tense, completely rigid as his brain tried to register that the pretty girl from the store and diner was touching him. He awkwardly pat her back, unsure of how to react. Did he hug her back? What if she didn't want him to, to touch her like that? What if she smacked him, told him to stay the hell away from her? He was in his damn head so much that before he had decided what to do, she was pulling away and hugging Merle. Merle smirked at him over her shoulder, licking his lips suggestively and Daryl bristled, looking away. It didn't just make him uncomfortable that his brother would do that when she was innocently hugging him, but it made him mad as fuck. _

_ “Thank you both, come by tomorrow. I’ll make you something nice, maybe a pot pie or something,” she said with a little smile, looking over at him once again. He nodded, looking away. He was scared if he looked at her for too long she would call him out for staring at her. _

_ The dinner never happened, because the next day Merle got arrested for armed robbery. Daryl was mad as all hell. That was how his asshole brother got the money, that was his grand plan? Robbing a fucking store? He never mentioned it to Charlene. That she was the reason why Merle went away, because he had helped her. But he knew she knew. She didn't look at him the same after that for months until his brother was released early for good behaviour. It only made him more mad at his brother. That every time he went to see her, needing to see that smile, needing to feel a little better about himself, it wasn't there. She barely smiled, she wouldn't even look him in the eyes. She felt bad that it was her fault and Daryl had fucking suffered for it.  _

_ When Merle was released, he had his head up his ass about the fact she still wouldn't sleep with him. He had made comments to Daryl about how she owed him, and that “the bitch could at least suck my dick. Got fuckin’ arrested for helpin’ her.” Daryl had broken his brother's nose that day, and he didn't regret it for one second. One thing he did notice was the fact his brother didn’t ever say a bad word about her in front of him again. _

_ ~ _

Daryl drove around aimlessly as the memories swam in his mind. They were trying to find a gas station, not only because the truck needed fucking gas, but because a map would be pretty helpful right about now. He wasn't familiar with this part of Murphy so he had no clue where the fuck to go. So he just drove around hoping for the best before the gas ran out.

“Stop the truck Daryl!” Merle said urgently, making him slow the truck to a stop and look at him worried.

“What is it?” he asked, looking tense. What the fuck had his brother seen? Was it a group of the dead again? Living people?

“That fuckin’ can of spam ain’t agreed with me,” he grumped, rubbing his stomach as he checked for his gun and hopped out of the truck. 

Daryl rolled his eyes and shook his head. So now they were stopped in the middle of nowhere whilst his brother ran into the forest to take a shit. 

“Don't go far!” he called out the window after him, making Merle wave dismissively as he jogged and disappeared behind the trees. Daryl had no intentions of asking if he needed him to go with him to keep an eye out. He didn't want to stand there whilst his brother had the shits. Besides, Merle was that loud Daryl knew he would hear if there was any trouble. Anyone in a ten-mile fucking radius would hear it. He needed to stretch his legs and he opened the door, getting out and shaking his legs out a little. He stood leaning against the open door with his bow propped against the side of the truck, fishing his smokes out as he lit up. Charlene watched him for a minute before she scooted over to the driver's seat, sitting sideways so her legs were dangling out of the truck, right next to him.

She lay the side of her head against the headrest and closed her eyes and Daryl watched her carefully as he exhaled. She was grimacing again and he didn't know if it was the cramps or something else.

“S’wrong?” he asked warily, looking as she cracked her eyes open and looked at him.

“My head. Since I hit it, I keep getting bad headaches,” she sighed, closing her eyes once more, the light was only making the headache worse. A jolt of guilt shot through him knowing it was his fault. He had concussed her and she was still in pain because of it. The gash had started healing but the bump and bruise were still there. He didn't really know what he was doing, before his brain figured it out, he was already rubbing her head. His thumb stroked the skin next to the bump soothingly like it might take the pain away, repair the damage he had caused, and his fingers were buried in her soft hair. He tried not to think about the way it made him feel. 

She tensed at first, not expecting it, but she didn't dare open her eyes. She knew if she did he would freak out and recoil from her like she was poisonous. So instead she kept her eyes closed and relished the feeling of him stroking her head. It was comforting and helped a little with the pain. Daryl kept glancing at her, unable not to as usual. What he would give to be able to just kiss her right now.  _ Ain’t gonna happen asshole. Ever.  _ He huffed to himself, tearing his eyes away from her, wondering why the fuck he always did this to himself. He clearly liked to torture himself. He wasn't sure how long he stood there just rubbing her head, it didn't feel long enough by any means, but suddenly his brother came through the trees. Daryl dropped his hand quickly, not wanting Merle to see and say something in front of her. She opened her eyes and gave him a little smile but he just looked away, making her frown. He gestured with his head for her to move up and she complied, getting back in the middle as Daryl got in, Merle following suit on his side.

“Fuck, I ain't ever eatin’ that shit again,” Merle snorted, looking like he felt a little better now. Daryl shook his head shooting an amused look his brother's way as he pulled out once again, driving down the road. They had barely even got anywhere when the truck made a few weird noises and then suddenly stopped.

“Aw, c’mon man!” Daryl yelled, hitting the steering wheel in anger.

“Fuck sake. Looks like we ain’t gettin’ to that gas station yet,” Merle grumbled, wiping a hand over his face.

“We need to get out, go on foot. We can find some other cars, syphon some gas. Ain't leavin’ my fuckin’ truck and bike behind,” Merle huffed, as he opened his door. Daryl glanced to Charlene and she looked so miserable and fed up. He knew she wasn't looking forward to leaving the truck, once again being without any safety at all. They didn't have a choice though. They would have to leave the truck temporarily in search for gas so they could get to the gas station grab a fucking map, and hopefully get to Atlanta. 

Daryl grabbed his pack and bow before hopping out, standing there as Charlene got out after him.

“It's gonna be alright,” he said gruffly, not sure why those words left his mouth. It wasn't like he had the gift of knowing the fucking future but he said them anyway. She looked up at him, giving him a weary smile, it was better than nothing.

“I hope so,” was all she said, a small sigh leaving her lips as they started walking. He wondered when the bullshit would end. When they would finally catch a fucking break and not have to do this bullshit all the time. It occurred to him that they wouldn't ever catch a break, this was it now. This was the new world. At some point in the future, there would be no gas left at all, and there would be more of the dead, no fucking food. His mood rapidly turned sour as the three of them trudged down the road, hoping to find a vehicle to get some gas.


	18. Chapter 18

**I'm feeling generous today, so have another chapter. :')**

**So much fluff and feels in this chapter guys, my heart may have exploded.**

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“Again,” Daryl said roughly, making Charlene look to him and squint. They had walked for hours with no sign of a car to get gas from, so Merle had decided they all needed to go back to the truck. His grand idea was that he would go on the bike himself to find something since it would be quicker. He was too paranoid that someone might take the truck, and he wasn't about to let that happen. Daryl hadn’t agreed with him, he didn't think separating was a good idea. But Merle was fucking Merle and Daryl couldn't talk sense into him, especially not with his moods with his drug usage lessened now. So off Merle fucking went and Daryl was left with Charlene by the truck. Merle had been gone an hour and with each passing minute, Daryl's agitation grew at him not being back yet. It made him feel uncomfortable to be away from him, not knowing if he was okay or if he needed help. To distract himself, he decided to turn all of his attention on the girl, teaching her how to throw her tomahawks. She was doing well, hitting the tree on the little mark Daryl had thought was a good target. But he had been riding her ass now for almost the whole hour.

“My arm aches Daryl!” she huffed, glaring at him. He clenched his jaw as he took a step forward.

“Ya arms gonna ache when we’re fightin’ off the dead, but ya ain’t gonna have time to be a little bitch about it,” he sneered, regretting it the instant it felt his lips. When the fuck had he turned into his brother? She didn't look upset though, she just narrowed her eyes at him, her hand tightening around the handle of her weapon. For a second, he idly wondered if she was going to throw it at him.

“I get you're worried about him, I am too. But the next time you talk to me like that, I’m gonna shove my tomahawk right up your ass. Pointy end first,” she glared, making him lower his head feeling ashamed of himself. He felt like he had been scolded by his mother.

“Shit girl, ya know I ain’t mean it,” he lamented with a frown, his voice almost a whisper. Her face softened slightly and she strapped the weapon to her hip again.

“I know Daryl. But you need to chill. Merle’s tough, you know this. He’ll be fine and back soon,” she said, reaching out and taking his hand. He looked at her, seeing her little smile and hopeful face and he wondered how she still managed to have that hope after everything life had thrown at her. It did make him feel a little better though, the conviction in her words. Merle was a tough son of a bitch and Daryl knew he could take care of himself. He nodded, standing a little straighter as he tried to take strength from the tiny little thing in front of him. He wondered why his arm was tingling until he looked down and noticed she was still holding his hand.  _ What am I? A fuckin’ girl? _ He had shared a bed with her, actually woke up spooning her and rubbing his dick all over her ass, but holding hands made his legs feel weak.  _ Fuckin’ asshole. _

“Let's eat somethin’ whilst we wait,” he said, looking awkward as he took his hand from hers. It was making him feel too weird, he needed to create some distance. He grabbed his pack and they both sat on the bed of the truck, legs dangling off. He rummaged through his bag, seeing a can of peaches he had hid from his brother since Merle and the girl liked to argue about them so much. He had saved them just for her. He passed her the can and her eyes lit up, making his stomach flip around on him.

“Peaches?!” she asked, like he had just given her a unicorn that shit out gold. He couldn’t help the little smile that tugged on his lips at seeing her so happy, knowing he was the one to make her feel that way. It made him feel all kinds of good.

“Yeah. Know ya like ‘em so I saved ‘em. Hid ‘em from Merle,” he snorted, ducking his head shyly like a fucking idiot because apparently, he didn't know how to interact with a woman if he wasn't piss drunk.

She bit her lower lip, practically beaming at him and reached out, slinging her arms around his broad shoulders. He tensed at first, he knew she liked peaches but he hadn't expected her to fucking hug him for it. Her scent overwhelmed him, fucking choking him and making him want to run a damn mile from how it made him feel.

“You're the best human on the planet. I’m glad we’re stuck together,” she grinned as she moved away, trying not to think about the fact that he hadn't hugged her back. She knew she probably made him uncomfortable and she had agreed not to do that. It was just hard when she was around him. She grabbed her knife and he watched as she opened the can, slurping up the juice greedily. It reminded him of that day in the cabin as a small moan left her lips. She looked like she had been to heaven and back and he couldn't help but let his mind wander about that kind of look on her face in other scenarios.  _ Stop bein’ a fuckin’ creep asshole. _ He forced himself to look away, he shouldn't be thinking that shit about her, especially when she was sat right there. It was bad enough he had these thoughts before the world went to shit. Fucking jerking off in bed or the shower as he thought about the pretty girl with the sweet smile and green eyes. It always made him feel like such a fucking creep whenever he saw her next after he had done that, like she would look at him and somehow know.

“Aren't you gonna eat?” she asked curiously, making him look at her, lips fucking glistening from the juice. He felt ready to crawl out of his skin. He just wanted to grab her and kiss her sweet as sin lips, taste the peach juice right off them. He nodded, clearing his throat and he grabbed a random can out of his bag. Fucking tomato soup.  _ Awesome.. _ . Cold soup was a pile of shit and then some, but it was food. So he opened it and started drinking it from the can. He made a point of avoiding looking at her as she fished the peaches out from the can and started to eat them. He was half worried his primal urges would win out and he would just fucking pounce on her.

“You know...I used to be so nervous when you came into the store or diner,” she said after a moment of silence. Daryl had finished his soup and he tossed the tin carelessly. He looked at her, a small frown etched on his face.

“Why?” he asked warily, even though he felt like he knew the answer. Because he was a fucking Dixon and he had a reputation that exceeded him, despite the fact he hadn't ever really done a thing wrong. Well, nothing as bad as Merle anyway.

“You just have that kind of face,” she shrugged, making his frown deepen as he looked at her offended.

“That kinda face? The fuck kinda face I have?” he glared, making her laugh out loud. The sound made his heart feel all weird and beat funny and he wondered why she thought it was funny.

“Daryl Dixon...You have resting bitch face,” she grinned. He tilted his head looking bewildered and it only made her laugh more.

“Restin’ bitch face…?” he asked, clearly having no clue what the fuck she was on about.

“You look angry all of the time. I’d always try to talk to you and you’d look at me like you wanted to punch me in the face,” she snorted. He looked down, the tips of his ears burning as he chewed his thumb. 

He knew he looked angry all of the time, mainly because he was. He was angry at life for constantly shitting on him. He also hated people, so he put off a vibe of stay the fuck away so he didn't have to deal with them. But for some reason, the thought of Charlene thinking he didn't like her, that he would hurt her, it made him feel sad. 

“Wouldnt fuckin’ hit ya,” he frowned, glaring at the floor as he chewed his thumb so much it started to hurt. Charlene watched him, frowning herself when she realised she had somehow upset him, she hadn't meant it like that at all.

“Hey, I know you wouldn't. I didn't mean literally Daryl. I just meant that you looked angry all of the time, even when I tried to be nice,” she explained, reaching over and taking his hand away from his mouth. She was surprised he still had a thumb left with how he was chewing it.

He looked at her carefully and she gave him a small smile, making him relax a little. 

“Didn't mean to come across as an asshole or nothin’...just didn’t know how to act. Ain’t used to people bein’ nice to me,” he admitted with a shrug, trying to ignore the fact she hadn’t let go of his hand. 

“All those people that were ever rude to you can go to hell. You’re a good man Daryl, I’ve always seen that,” she said softly. It felt like the air in his lungs was suddenly sucked out of him, his throat closing up. 

“Always thought ya were nice to me just ‘cause ya were bein’ paid,” he muttered quietly, his cheeks blushing slightly that he had even said that out loud to her. She furrowed her brow and squeezed his hand, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot through his entire body.

“I was nice to you because you’re a good guy. Because I like you. You weren't like the other assholes that came into the diner. Grabbing at my ass and saying all kinds of shit. You were always polite. Gruff maybe, but you never treated me like I was less than you,” she admitted, toying with his finger without even realising she was doing it. He was glaring at their joined hands, his heart thumping away in his chest at such a simple touch. And her words, her fucking words made his stomach feel like it was falling out of his ass. She actually liked him, maybe not in the way he wanted her to, but she liked him. She wasn't tolerating him or stuck to him. She liked him even before the turn and she wanted to talk to him. He hadn't ever felt the strange feeling in his chest before that he got at those words.

“Ya ain't less than me. Not by a long shot. Ya fuckin’ more than me a million times over,” he murmured, still looking at their joined hands and how she toyed with his fingers. Like holding his hand was a good thing. She tilted her head, seeing how he wouldn’t look up at her and she frowned. She hated how he always thought so little of himself, it made her sad to know he had little to no self-worth.

“I wish you could see what I see when I look at you,” she sighed. Finally, his eyes snapped up to her, curiosity all over his face. He was kind of scared to ask just how she saw him, not knowing if he wanted to know the answer or not.

“What is it ya see?” he asked quietly, his curiosity getting the best to him. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back and all of that shit.

She inhaled a deep breath, looking somewhat nervous and that only served to make  _ him _ nervous as her eyes flit around. She was the one avoiding his gaze now and it was making him panic internally a little.  _ Shouldn't have asked asshole. _

“I see a loyal brother, who would do anything and everything if it made his brother happy. I see a good man that respects women and treats them equally. I see a man that needs to protect those around him, even putting himself in harm's way. I see a man with a deep need to provide for those he cares about. I see...I see a young boy. A boy who's been hurt in ways he never should have been and now he doesn't know how to act. He doesn't know how to accept compliments or affection. He doesn't feel worthy. I see a man that deserves the world because he's fucking amazing,” she admitted, getting a little emotional at her own words. Hormones were a bitch.

Daryl's heart stopped dead in his chest at her words and he felt a lump in his throat forming. Of course she had no doubt heard about this childhood, people liked to fucking talk back in Ellijay and she was friends with Billy’s sister. But what hurt him the most was how fucking right she was. How he didn’t know how to act or receive affection. He was still messed up over the trauma he had been through and he hated that she could see right through him. He felt tears sting his eyes and he looked away. Removing his hand from hers as he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying to stop the onslaught of tears that were fighting to get free. Like fuck he was gonna cry in front of her like some little bitch. He felt so overwhelmed. Overwhelmed that she knew him so fucking well even though they had barely spoken before. Overwhelmed that she had given him so many fucking complements in that statement it made his head spin. Overwhelmed that the pretty girl in front of him thought he was fucking worth something. 

She scooted closer, her heart aching at seeing him so upset and struggling to control himself. She wrapped her arms around him, pressing the side of her head against his as she hugged him. He tried to push her away at first but she was strong considering how tiny she was and he relented. Giving in to the warm feeling that spread through his chest as she held him. He wrapped his arms around her, a choked sob escaping his lips as he buried his face into her hair. He was a fucking pussy. A weak pathetic asshole, but he couldn't stop himself. His heart was burning in his chest and holding her was soothing. 

“I know you have issues, and I know you probably won't ever believe a nice thing I say about you. But for what it's worth, you’re the best man I've ever met, and I hope one day you see it too,” she whispered, her own tears escaping as she held on tightly to him. Anyone that knew Daryl, that really took the time to know him and spend time with him, they could see he was damaged. It made her feel overwhelmingly sad.

Her words made his heart constrict painfully as he sobbed into her hair like a small child. He could hate himself later for it but right now he needed this. He needed someone to comfort him, to make him feel better. To make him feel less like trash. He needed the affection she was so willing to give him to soothe all of his wounds. He soaked her in, just letting out all his pain and anguish for every mark left on his body, every fucking time Merle had sent him off into the woods as a small boy as his mother was beaten mercilessly. The pain of never having anyone there for him, even when he was young, when he just needed someone to give him a fucking hug and tell him things would get better. And she held him, she didn't let go as she stroked his hair, not once berating him for being a pussy or weak. She just fucking let him cling to her like a lost child and cry it all out. 

When his sobbing subsided, he let go. She took it as her cue to move away a little, not wanting to crowd him or make him more uncomfortable. She knew he would feel awkward about crying like that in front of her but she was glad he did when he clearly needed it. She meant every word she said to him. He sniffled, wiping his eyes and he shook his head. He felt the shame creep in, taking a vice-like grip of him as his face burned bright. He didn't know what to say. He felt like a fucking idiot now and she had said so much to him. So much shit he found it hard to believe because she was right when she said he wouldn't believe a single nice thing out her mouth about him. The rumble of a bike saved him from the awkwardness and he wiped his eyes furiously and cleared his throat, not wanting his brother to know he had been crying like a little bitch.

“I meant what I said, and you don't have to feel awkward about it. There's nothing wrong with letting it out Daryl. If you don't, it'll just eat you alive,” she said softly, grabbing his hand and bringing it up to her lips. She placed a soft kiss on his knuckles and he just watched dumbly with watery eyes, his brain feeling fuzzy from all the crying. She gave him a little smile before releasing his hand and jumping down from the bed of the truck. He sat there for a moment as he heard the bike approach before his brain came back to reality. It was most likely Merle but there was a chance it wasn't and it was his job to keep her safe. He hopped down and grabbed his bow that had been propped up by the tire, readying it as he walked around to the front of the truck where Charlene stood. 

He felt so ashamed of himself but when she glanced at him, she gave him a smile and it made him feel a little better. It was like he was expecting her to laugh or mock him for his breakdown but she didn't. She didn't act like anything had happened and he was grateful. He didn't want a big deal made out of it. He watched as the bike got closer, lowering his bow when he saw his brother riding up to them. When Merle stopped the bike, he had a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Daddy's brought home the bacon kids, let's get the fuck outta here,” Merle grinned as he got off the bike, grabbing the jerry can he had strapped to his back with some rope.

“Daryl gave me peaches,” Charlene smirked, making Merle scoff and look at Daryl so fucking offended. Daryl bit his lip trying not to laugh, grateful for the distraction.

“Ya fuckin’ saved ‘em for her and not me? Yer own flesh and blood? Boy, I’m disappointed in ya,” he huffed, shaking his head as he walked over. Daryl could see the amusement in his eyes though and his lips tugged into a small smile.

“Couldn't help it, ya should see how excited she gets. Like a kid at fuckin’ Christmas,” Daryl snorted, making Merle bark out a laugh as Charlene squinted at him playfully.

“Hey! They're really good okay?!” she pouted. Daryl felt the warmth spread through his body as he smiled at her. A fucking genuine smile that he felt like never happened unless he was around her and her adorable fucking face. How could she ease his deep pain so fucking easy? To have him cry one second and the next smile like this?

“Might start callin’ ya Peaches,” Daryl teased as they followed Merle to the side of the truck as he put the gas in the tank.

“Not the worst nickname,” she shrugged, shooting him a toothy grin that made his insides turn into mush. He shook his head a huffed a laugh.

“Alright, well c’mon then  _ Peaches _ , get yer ass in the truck,” he smirked, shoving her lightly towards the door as she laughed.  _ Sweet and delicate. Fuckin’ peaches indeed. _


	19. Chapter 19

**A helping of angst anyone? *throws angst at you like confetti***

**Bit of a longer one for you guys.**

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Daryl navigated through the trees with ease, with the stealth that only a hunter that had been doing it for decades would have. His feet were silent as he stalked through the woods, eyes on the tracks as he made his way, following the prize. Outwardly he seemed calm, as cool as a fucking cucumber. But inside, the thrill of the hunt was singing strong through his veins. It wasn’t the same as usual though, it was intensified by the petite green-eyed girl who was following along behind him. It was a deer, and he had wanted to bag a deer for ages so they could eat better, to see how she would react if he caught something better than a damn squirrel or rabbit. He had caught one back at the cabin, but that didn't mean shit since he had to leave it behind. Now he was getting that chance again.

They had decided to stop for a break, being cooped up in the cab was nothing short of annoying and Daryl had been itching to hunt for fucking ever. Merle was also in need of being outside, getting some air and feeling less claustrophobic. He was doing well using less, and Daryl wanted to keep it that way. So they had all agreed to stop for the day and start again tomorrow. They had found a dirt road surrounded by woodland and drove along it a little bit. They didn't go all the way up, they didn’t know what was on the other side after all. The last thing they needed was to stumble on a house full of dead assholes or living ones. So they only went up it a little, turning the truck around so they could easily go back the way they came. They set up a little camp just next to the truck. It would be easy if they needed a quick getaway and better than being cooped up. They still hadn't found a gas station but Daryl knew one had to be nearby now, they hadn't seen one in miles.

The girl's words from the day before were playing on a tireless loop in his mind. She had said so much shit to him, and it was like certain things kept creeping into his brain, only making him more confused. Why was she saying shit like he was amazing and the best man she knew? His brain couldn't seem to fit the pieces together and it was making him annoyed at himself. Was he missing something? Maybe she had only said that shit to make him feel better, he was crying all over her like a little bitch after all. She had taken it like a fucking champ, she hadn't even brought it up at since. He expected her to turn around and say something, to ask him questions or make him feel weird. Yet she didn't, she didn't even act any different about the whole thing and that too confused him more.

He was pleasantly surprised by how quiet she was when he was hunting. She had been with him a few times now but he hadn't ever caught anything decent. Every time though she was light on her feet, no doubt because she weighed fucking nothing. She was also quiet, not chatting or being annoying. She would just silently follow him like a ghost. Merle wanted to stay with the truck and bike, he had no desire for someone to come along and steal it so he opted to stay behind. Merle had offered for her to stay with him but Daryl had refused. It wasn't that he thought Merle wouldn't keep her safe, he knew he would. Merle had been the one to get her out of the store that day despite the fact he was having a bad trip. He was more than capable of protecting her. But deep down, Daryl didn't want to share her. He knew it was stupid, she wasn't even his to fucking share anyway. But Merle had been teaching her self defence stuff and things with her knife, he had given her his knife that meant a lot to him. It was starting to make him panic internally. What if she went and caught feelings for his fucking brother? He wasn't sure just what Merle would do. He had given him this whole pep talk about how he thought she liked him and how he should go for it, but Merle was Merle. It wouldn't have been the first time his brother had swooped in on someone he had been interested in just for the chance of a quick fuck. And Lord only knew how long Merle had been trying to get in her pants. Daryl felt like he was acting like a child, not wanting to share his favourite toy. He didn't care though, she was staying with him and that was it.

He stopped still and it became clear Charlene wasn't paying attention, in her own head just like he was as she bumped into his back. He felt like a fucking brick wall and she refrained from making a peep knowing it would scare whatever it was he was hunting. He glanced over his shoulder at her and she gave him a sheepish smile. It was hard to be annoyed that she wasn't paying attention when she was looking at him being all pretty and cute. He looked back and raised his bow and Charlene moved to the side to see what he was about to shoot. Her eyes widened when she saw the deer and she held her breath as she watched him expertly release his bolt. It hit the deer right in the head and it dropped to the floor. Pride filled his whole fucking body that finally he had bagged his deer and she was there to fucking witness it. 

It was rare he ever felt good about himself. The only times before the world went to shit that he felt good was on a hunt when he got something decent, or when he went to where she worked and she smiled at him sweetly. Now he was getting the best of both worlds all rolled into one. He turned to look at her and she grinned, looking so excited. It made his own lips quirk into a smile. He felt fucking good. 

“That was awesome! You're such a good hunter,” she beamed at him. Would it be totally gay of him to swoon right there? With her looking at him like he was the manliest man on the fucking planet. His hormones were raging, they always did from the hunt. It made him feel predatory, primal. He watched her, licking his lower lip as he tried to push his urges down, trying to remind himself she didn't see him that way and wouldn't ever. 

Charlene looked at him, her eyes blinking up at him for a moment. The look in his eyes, it made her knees weak and she felt like she must have been seeing things. He wouldn't be looking at  _ her _ that way. It made her heart rate pick up and she couldn't tear her eyes away from him. She watched as he tilted his head a little, a hooded gaze pinning her in place as he looked at her like he wanted to devour her. And my god she would fucking let him. She had to be seeing things, someone like him wouldn't look at her that way. She looked down, her cheeks flushing and Daryl just kept staring at her. He wondered why she was blushing, maybe because he was just outright staring at her, unable to help himself. He was probably making her uncomfortable, he needed to calm himself the fuck down. He cleared his throat, taking a step back before he ended up just tossing her on the floor and having his way with her. He knew he got fucking horny after a hunt, but shit if this wasn't getting out of hand. He couldn't even control himself. He turned and walked over to the deer. They needed to get it back before any biters came around and got it first. He yanked the bolt out and tied its feet together before hauling it over his broad shoulders. When he turned back around, he noticed how she looked at him, eyes lingering on his shoulders. She had complimented him twice on his shoulders and he wasn't sure why, but still it made him feel good. 

It was most likely his raging hormones that made it seem like she was looking at him like that. He was ugly as sin, she wouldn't ever think of touching him like that.

“C’mon,” he said gruffly, making her nod and follow him obediently. Again it sent another thrill through him, his primal side still at the surface. Couldn't he just toss her over his shoulder and keep her? Fucking find a place and live out here? He could hunt all the damn time and maybe he would finally make a move when his hormones took over, maybe in time she would just learn to like him. He snorted inwardly at the thought.  _ Good plan, kidnap her, that’ll make her like ya...dumbass.  _ It didn't take too long to reach the camp, Daryl hadn’t wanted to stray too far and luckily he caught the deer before it got out of reach. He tossed the deer at Merle's feet with a smug smirk as Merle looked at it with wide eyes.

“Aw man, look at ya, all grown up. I might shed a tear,” Merle teased making Daryl roll his eyes and scoff. 

“Fuck off and skin it asshole. We caught it,” he smirked as he went and sat down near the fire Merle had built. Charlene smiled to herself and sat next to Daryl without even realising, she always gravitated towards him.

“Oh right,  _ we _ , uh-huh. She track it or did she kill it?” Merle asked giving his brother a knowing grin. Daryl squinted a little at him, his brother had mischief all over his damn face and he didn't like it one bit.

“I can help...prep it...if you want,” she muttered softly. Both brothers looked to her and it was written all over her face, she didn't want to.

“Really now? Ya gonna get its blood and guts all over ya? Won't throw up?” Daryl asked, quirking a brow almost amused at her. She paled a little bit as she looked at him horrified. He knew she didn't want to do it so he had no idea why she had said she would.

“I’m just fuckin’ with ya girlie, ain't no need to look like that. All ya have to do is sit there and look pretty, it's all good,” Merle grinned. She knew it was a joke and she knew they had been getting along, but he always managed to say something to push the wrong button with her. She narrowed her eyes as she glared at him.

“I don’t wanna sit here and look pretty, I want to be fucking useful,” she bit out. Daryl glanced at her warily at her harsh tone, she looked so cute when she got mad though. 

“Shit Tiny, calm yer fuckin’ tits alright? It was a joke. Ya gonna be useful when we’ve taught ya everythin’ we know. But ya can wait ‘til we find somewhere safer. For now, just let us take care of ya,” Merle replied, giving her a stern look. She sneered at him and huffed as she looked down. 

Daryl didn't like her thinking she wasn't useful. She didn't track or hunt, but it didn't mean she didn't give them anything. That she wasn't needed. If it wasn't for her Merle wouldn't be trying to get clean, if it wasn't for her Daryl wouldn't have anything to look forward to or be thankful for. She had no idea how much they both needed her around. She had somehow managed to make Merle calm the fuck down and for once, Daryl felt like he might just get his brother back. He was already being nicer. When he teased it was just in jest and not the harsh words like normal that made Daryl want to disappear. Things were better between them, better than they had been in years and it was all because of her. 

Silence descended on the three but it was a comfortable one. They did this a lot where they would all just sit there and not need words. And since Merle wasn't hopped up on all sorts of shit, he was actually quiet too. Daryl found it peaceful.

“If ya need to jerk off then go behind the trees, ain’t got no need to see ya fuckin’ yer own hand,” Merle spoke up after a minute, clearly not being able to help himself in ruining the peace. Charlene laughed loudly and slapped a hand over her mouth to try and stifle the noise. It had just been so random and unexpected, she couldn't help herself.

“The fuck Merle?!” Daryl asked, looking mortified. Why the fuck had he just come out with that with the girl sat right there? Merle just boomed a laugh, enjoying his discomfort.

“I’m just sayin’. I know how horny ya get after a good hunt. We used to go to the bar and ya’d find a random chick and fuck her in the back alley. Only girl here is Charlene and Lord knows ya ain’t ever gonna make a move on that one, so that just leaves ya hand,” Merle cackled. 

Daryl felt his whole body blushing as he clenched his jaw. Not only had he just declared on front of Charlene that he got horny after a hunt, no doubt giving her some wonderful insight to just what he was thinking when he stared her down in the woods, but he also made him out to be some kind of fucking whore. Was he telling the truth? Maybe, but she didn't need to know that fucking information. And then he's talking shit about never making a move on her, like there were moves to be made. He glared at the fire wondering just how long it would take him to die if he jumped in it, as Merle just continued to laugh. Charlene felt her cheeks heat up as she stared at the floor. The idea of Daryl touching himself made a tingle run down her spine but Merle words haunted her. The look in Daryl's eyes in the woods made sense now, but the fact he had not acted on it, coupled with Merle saying Daryl 'ain't ever’ gonna make a move on her, it made her feel disgusting. Was she that repulsive to Daryl that even Merle knew he wouldn't touch her? That even when he had that deep urge that had lead the quiet man who hated to be touched go and fuck some random girl in an alleyway, he hadn't taken it. He just walked away and left it alone. 

She never thought she was a model or overly beautiful but she didn't think she was ugly either. The reason why she thought Daryl wouldn't have been interested in her was more the fact she was weak. Daryl was strong and manly, he no doubt wanted a strong woman who was capable. She was weak, she had to depend on them. Sure she had been getting better with her weapons, but when it came down to it, what exactly did she do for their little group? Nothing, that's what. She wanted to do something, she wanted to learn something that would make her a valuable member of the group in her own right, she wanted to be able to provide for them all somehow too.

Her mood was on a downward spiral and she was still on her fucking period which didn't help any at all. She felt useless and ugly as all hell and she wanted to disappear.

“I’m gonna head to bed,” she muttered, standing and scurrying off to the truck and getting in the cab. Daryl watched her tensely before he glared at Merle. It was obvious his words had made her uncomfortable and now he didn't know what the fuck to think.

“The fuck ya say that for?” Daryl seethed, keeping his voice low so she wouldn't hear them from the truck.

“I was just kiddin’, y'all can’t take a joke. ‘Sides, Ain’t like I was wrong now is it? Bet ya wanted to fuck her out there but ya chickened out. Should have just rolled with it,” Merle smirked. Daryl clenched and unclenched his fists, resisting the urge to pounce on his brother and smash his face in. He knew he was just teasing, he knew Merle enjoyed watching him squirm and he was doing it to make a point. Merle thought he should make a move, so he was trying to force it to happen.

“I ain’t got a taste for rape,” he spat, eyes flickering with anger as he glared his brother down. 

“If ya ask me, it wouldn't be rape. Shit, ya could have at least kissed her and see how she reacts. I bet my left nut she’d fuckin’ like it. Yer too damn blind to see she likes ya, fuckin’ dumbass,” Merle huffed, getting his knife out as he started prepping the deer to distract himself. He was getting agitated now at Daryl. The lack of drugs in his system made him irritable and he just wanted his brother to man the fuck up and do something about it. He knew they both liked each other. It was clear as fucking day to him, the way they looked at each other. 

Daryl shook his head with a scoff, his brother was an asshole who didn't know shit. He got up, walking over to the truck and hopping into the bed at the back with his bow. He doubted he would get any sleep tonight so he might as well keep watch. He knew his brother was too agitated to sleep either and he had no desire to sit around the fire with him, just so he could tell him all sorts of bullshit. He leant against the cab, peaking in the window and seeing the girl curled up, head against the headrest as she leant against the door. She was asleep and she looked so peaceful. He hated that Merle had said that shit and made her uncomfortable. She probably wouldn’t ever look at him the same now. Not with how he looked at her in the woods. She had told him he was a good man, but right now he felt far from it. The thoughts he had about her, even before the turn, he felt like a fucking pervert. He tore his eyes away from her sleeping form and glared out at the tree line. Merle had well and truly killed his buzz from catching the deer and now he was just pissed off. He felt like every time things settled between him and the girl, things would just become awkward again. He was sick of it and no doubt she was too. He contemplated talking to her in the morning, telling her Merle was full of shit and not to listen to him. He didn't want her to look at him differently, didn't want her to distance herself from him now.

He had let her into his cold heart, shit he had done that long ago. But now their closeness was on another level. There was a level of deep trust there now that he was grateful for. She relied on him to keep her alive, trusted him to keep her safe. Trusted him so much that usually, she would sleep by his side willingly. He didn't want that to go away. That feeling of being needed, feeling like he mattered and he was worth something, it was all he had these days. More than he’d ever had in his life. He had gone through his pathetic life feeling like nothing, and this girl had made him feel like something. He was clinging onto that desperately like a life raft and he knew he would drown if that was taken away from him. Part of him wanted to just tell her, to get it out in the open and off his chest finally. But he knew he couldn't ever do that because he would fuck it all up if he did. Why did he have to be born a Dixon? Why couldn't he have been born to a loving family? One that raised him to have self-esteem and be a better person? He was nothing but trash, nothing he would ever do would make him the man Charlene seemed to think he was and he knew after Merle’s little speech she probably didn't even think that anymore. He heaved a sigh, fingers toying with his bow absentmindedly. He needed to switch off. He needed to just shut it all down because it was getting too much. If he shut off his feelings then he wouldn't keep making a dick of himself, he wouldn't keep making her uncomfortable and fucking things up. And when she did pull away, because he knew she fucking would eventually, he wouldn't be hurt by it.  _ Can’t get hurt if ya don’t care... _


	20. Chapter 20

**More angst? Why yes, of course :’)**

**Another long one for you guys.**

**Daryl's voice has changed so much throughout the seasons. Like it's all gritty and rough now but back in season one it was more like Norman's real voice with a southern twang smacked on top. I’m so used to hearing Daryl's raspy voice that I have to keep watching season one clips of him so I hear him right in my head looool**

**The scene where Rick tells him he handcuffed Merle to a roof gets me every time, the way he wipes his eyes angrily and his voice cracks when he speaks. Just a little brother needing his big brother. The fucking feels man. Season one Daryl is just ndskjfpjfkdjflknfclkdsn**

**I highly recommend watching season one Daryl to refresh your mind about how he sounds and acts since he’s so different now. It gives you a better experience of what's going on in my head.**

**Can we also talk about how angry he gets when Glenn gets taken in Atlanta? It’s adorable considering he didn't seem to like him so much, “I’m gonna kick yer nuts up in yer throat!” “They took Glenn! This little bastard and his little bastard homie friends, I’m gonna stomp yer ass!” :’) Careful Daryl, anyone would think you liked Glenn… loooool I’ll stop gushing now, season one Daryl is my fav if that wasn’t obvious by now lolololol He was so angry and sarcastic *heart eyes***

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By the time the sun had started to rise in the sky, Daryl had successfully shut down. He stuffed his feelings for Charlene down into the deepest darkest parts of him. Just how he did with his mother ever since she died, and how he did with anything to do with his old man. He hopped down from the bed of the truck, he hadn't slept and he was grouchy. He made his way over to the fire that was still burning and Merle was still awake too.

“So much for gettin’ some fuckin’ rest,” Daryl glowered as he plonked himself in front of the fire, glaring at it. Merle narrowed his eyes a little, sensing the change in his brother. Merle was perceptive, a lot smarter than people ever gave him credit for and he could see the difference in his brother from a mile away. It wasn't the first time he had seen Daryl like this.

“Least we got outta the truck for a bit. And ya got us a deer, we really needed somethin’ like that right about now,” Merle replied, hoping that something akin to a compliment in his brothers hunting skills might improve his mood. But Daryl just grunted, grabbing some of the now prepped deer meat and putting it over the fire to cook it.

Merle eyed him warily, he knew he had hit a nerve the night before with his teasing but he didn't feel like it was enough to make his brother just shut down like this. Then again Daryl was his own worst enemy. He no doubt spent the night thinking of everything he hated about himself and it just got out of hand.

“Ya know, I didn't mean the shit I said last night. I shouldn't have opened my big mouth. Just wanted ya to notice that she likes ya, ain’t nothin’ wrong with it,” Merle placated. It was rare he ever said sorry, or anything similar to an apology, but still, Daryl didn't seem to give a shit. Daryl stared into the flames, his brother was acting weird as shit but what the fuck was new? He heard the door to the truck open and close and he glanced up, seeing Charlene walking over, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

He had shut down after his brain made it clear just how stupid he was to have ever liked her in the first place. She was different to him and his brother and she no doubt knew it. Probably thought she was better than them. Scurrying off like it had been such a fucking awful thing that he might have liked her. 

“Sleep well?” Daryl asked, but his tone made it clear he wasn't asking out of kindness. He practically spat the words, making it sound like a jab at her and she tilted her head, looking confused by his tone. She had done a lot of thinking herself in the truck after she went to bed. She knew Daryl wouldn't ever like her, but she always thought it was more to do with the fact she was weak rather than her looks. Now she knew different. Not only was she weak but apparently she was repulsive to him. She tried not to think about it because it made her heart hurt. If he didn't like her that way, if he found her unattractive, there wasn't much she could do about the matter. She just needed to let it go.

With Daryl's tone, she opted to sit next to Merle which just earned a bitter scoff from Daryl as he cooked the meat. She didn't understand why he was acting this way. It hadn't been her that caused all of that last night and now he was acting like he hated her. It made her feel like she was on a rollercoaster, and not in a good way. She cast a glance to Merle and when she caught his eyes, he just shook his head a little, telling her without words to leave it. She was just glad Merle had noticed him being an asshole too and it wasn't just her imagining it.

There was tense silence over the three of them as they ate, Daryl brooding something fierce as he glared at the flames. Without a word, Daryl stood up and started gathering their things together, letting the other two know it was time to leave. Merle wasn't really sure just how to talk some sense into his brother. His tone with the girl had been harsh and fucking unnecessary and he knew if he carried on, he was going to fucking push her away completely. But that's what he wanted. Daryl didn't want her to gravitate towards him anymore, he didn't want her clinging to him or following him. He wanted her to leave him the fuck alone. He was only good enough to make her feel safe, but she could go fuck herself. Uppity little bitch could run to Merle like she probably wanted. 

He jumped into the truck, slamming the door as he did. Now he had shoved his nice feelings for her down, he was left with the bad ones. The bitterness, the jealousy. Soon enough though he would shut off completely and then he wouldn't care at all, and that would be a fucking relief. He just had to focus on these shitty feelings to remind himself that he was beneath her and that she fucking knew it.

“What's up with him?” Charlene asked Merle as she watched Daryl get in the truck. Merle heaved a deep sigh as he wiped a hand over his face.

“Last night, I went a little far. Embarrassed him a little. Just don't listen to any shit he says. He likes to push buttons when he's like this but he ain’t gonna mean a word he says,” Merle said carefully, eyes darting to the truck. Charlene furrowed her brow. She wasn't sure why what Merle said last night would cause him to act like such an asshole. Was it embarrassing talking about him jerking off? Yeah, but Charlene was the one who was embarrassed when it became clear he wouldn't ever be interested in her and she was a fool to think he might ever be. She hadn't ever seen this side to Daryl, almost like he was acting like Merle. She just nodded before getting in the truck as Merle got his pack ready.

Daryl's hands clenched around the steering wheel as she got in and when he looked at her, she gave him a weak smile. His glare turned cold as he looked away, trying so hard to will away the butterflies that small smile gave him. Fucking damn it, he was doing so well pushing shit down and all she had to do was give him a weak ass smile and his insides turned to mush.  _ She’s too good for me. Probably wants some Abercrombie and Fitch model or some kinda jock or some shit. Not an ugly piece of shit Dixon like me.  _ He sneered to himself as he waited for his brother to hurry the fuck up. Being alone with her was dangerous, the walls he had put up were already crumbling and it only made him more mad. Mad that he was weak as fuck and unable to just be pissed at her. He could feel her anxiety, seeing her toying with her hands out of the corner of his eye as she sat there rigid by his side. Why did he feel bad? It wasn't his fault she thought so fucking highly of herself, that even the idea of him liking her was that fucking god awful she had to run off to the truck.

Merle finally got in the truck and he felt like he could cut the tension with a damn knife. This was going to be fun, being stuck in the cab when his brother was having a hissy fit. If they found a gas station, Merle decided he should have a talk with him. Or fucking hit him, anything to make him realise he was being an asshole. He wasn't surprised his brother couldn't see that the girl liked him that way. Daryl never thought much of himself and it made the guilt creep in. Merle knew he had a hand in that, all the times he mocked him or put him down for his own selfish reasons. And now he was so fucking blind to the fact the girl adored him and he was being an asshole to her. Pushing her away no doubt so he couldn't get hurt. He was shooting himself in the damn foot and Merle wanted to throttle him for it.

Silence was usually something Daryl relished in. He wasn't much of a talker and he hated when other people wouldn't shut up. But this silence wasn't a comfortable one and it was making his skin crawl. The girl's stupid sad face was making him want to rip his fucking skin off as he tried so hard to stop stealing glances at her. Why couldn’t he just hate her? Why couldn't he just focus on all the bad shit and push her out of his stupid fucking heart?  _ ‘Cause she ain’t done a damn thing wrong jackass, ain’t her fault ya were born a Dixon…  _ The thought felt like it hit him in the gut and he clenched his jaw.  _ So fuckin’ what? She acts like I’m fine if I’m keepin’ her a-fuckin’-live and feedin’ her, but as soon as shit gets mentioned like last night, she acts like I’m some kinda pervert? She can go fuck herself…  _ The war raging inside of him was making everything messy and complicated. Every other time he had shut off he had been able to do it with ease, but now things were weird. On one level he knew it wasn't her fault. If she didn't like him then what the fuck could he do about it, it wasn't like he blamed her. She was too good for him, she deserved way better than the likes of him. But the way she always sought him out, because he made her feel safe and all that other bullshit, now it just annoyed him that it was all he was good for. That it would never be more than that.

Daryl felt the relief sweep through him as a gas station came into few and he stepped on the gas a little.

“Fuckin’ finally,” he growled, making the girl look at him carefully. He felt her eyes on him but he didn't acknowledge her. He didn't want to look in her bright green eyes and just melt into a fucking puddle. He needed to be strong and not a weak little bitch. He pulled into the station and shut off the truck. Not only could they get more gas now, making sure they didn't run out for a bit, but they needed a map. They needed to get the fuck to Atlanta. He needed to get out of situations like these where he was stuck in close quarters with her and it was hard to keep his resolve. He jumped out of the truck, not even waiting for the girl or his brother as he readied his bow and walked over to the door. The glass on the door was broken and he peered in trying to look for any of the biters that were inside. He heard a groan as a dead fuck came stumbling towards him from near the counter. The flesh on its face was hanging off as the smell filled his nostrils and he let his blot fly, getting the prick in the eye. 

Merle and Charlene appeared behind him then but Daryl didn't even acknowledge them as he stepped inside, looking around for more threats. There weren't any though so he got to work looking for the maps. Charlene busied herself with grabbing some snacks as the boys looked for the maps. She found a bar of chocolate and her face lit up, grabbing it and opening it. A little moan escaped her lips as the flavour burst into her taste buds. It had been too long since she had any of this and soon there probably wouldn't be any left. She felt eyes burning holes into her and she looked over, seeing Daryl glaring bloody murder at her. She wasn't sure just what the fuck she did to earn that look but it made her nervous as she looked down with flushed cheeks.

“Thought last night ya said ya wanted to be fuckin’ useful? How about ya help with the maps and not gettin’ yaself some fuckin’ chocolate?” he sneered from across the room. Her jaw dropped at his words and tone and Merle sucked in a breath, shaking his head at his stupid fucking brother.

Merle could see it on her face, the shock and then the anger. She knew damn well she didn't deserve those words or his brother’s venomous tone and he had a feeling his brother was about to get an earful. He didn't fucking blame her.

“It doesn't take three people to find a fucking map Daryl, sorry for grabbing us some snacks,” she glared, zipping up her bag angrily. He scoffed and shook his head at her as Merle finally found the maps.

“Nah it's fine. I mean ya act like ya wanna help out, ya wanna be an equal in the group, but ya don't do shit. Ya just sit there expectin’ us to do all the work, rely on us to keep ya alive. It's all we’re good for right?” he jabbed lowly, trying to ignore the guilt that shot through him as her face fell. Merle clenched his jaw, after the girls words the night before, he knew Daryl was using that to his advantage to make her upset. To push her buttons and push her away. That was what Daryl did when he was like this, he wanted to hurt someone so he would use something he knew about them. He knew Daryl didn't mean it, hell he knew Daryl liked taking care of the girl, but now he was saying this shit to her and making her thoughts from the night before feel more real. That she was useless and a burden. She looked ready to say something but Merle beat her to it.

“Son, ya better watch ya damn mouth ‘fore I clock ya one. Ya got ya head up yer ass about last night, fine. That was all me. She ain't done a damn thing wrong and if ya keep shittin’ all over her, ya gonna regret it,” Merle hissed, his eyes darkening as his brother turned to look at him. A bitter laugh left Daryl's lips as he looked somewhat amused at his brother's words.

“Right, ‘cause ya give a shit. Ya don't give a shit about no one but yaself, ya bein’ nice to her just to get in her fuckin’ pants like ya always have. Tryin’ to act like the fuckin’ hero. Ya know as well as I do that she’s an uppity bitch and the only reason she’s even here with us is ‘cause she’d fuckin’ die out there on her own,” Daryl spat angrily as he swung his arms around gesturing to her. Charlene's heart dropped and she felt the tears prick her eyes. She tried to push it down but the sadness was overwhelming and now it felt like it was suffocating her. Is that what he really thought of her? An uppity bitch that thought she was better than them? Merle clenched his fists. He wanted to hit him, Lord knows he did, but he wasn't his old man and he was trying to calm himself down. They were glaring at each other down as the tension in the place increased at a rapid rate.

“You know what Daryl, fuck you! Everything I said the other day, I fucking meant it and I have no idea why you're being such an asshole right now. I thought you were a good man, but maybe I was wrong,” Charlene bit out, causing both brothers to look at her. She wiped her tears angrily, slinging her pack on her shoulders as she stormed out of the gas station, gripping her tomahawk tightly in her little hand. Daryl's stomach dropped as he stormed after her, Merle hot on his heels.

“Good goin’ asshole,” Merle huffed, still resisting the urge to hit him around his stupid fucking head. Daryl ignored him as he stormed out of the gas station but when he saw her walk in the opposite direction to the truck, panic set in.

“Where the fuck ya goin’ girl? Ya got a death wish?!” He yelled out after her, but she ignored him, stalking off down the road. He glared at her retreating form for a minute and Merle shook his head as he started off after her. Daryl growled, angry at himself for causing this, angry at her for being too good for him. His mind was messy and it was annoying him. He didn't know which way was up anymore. He rushed past his brother, gaining on the girl and he grabbed her arm, yanking her to face him. 

“Get in the damn truck Charlene,” he growled, glaring down at her. Her green eyes were all shiny and wet from tears and he felt his chest tighten and his throat close up on him.

“No, now let me go,” she said tensely. His anger flared again that she was doing this. She was going to go off on her own and get herself fucking killed?  _ ‘Cause of you, ya fuckin’ prick. _

“Get in the truck,” he repeated demandingly, eyes boring holes into her.

“I said no! You think I’m weak? Fine, I am. I’m not like you two, I wasn't brought up in the woods or using weapons. But I’m fucking trying my hardest here,” her voice wavered and he tensed when she glanced down, the tears making their way down her cheeks as she sniffled.  _ Damn it all to hell... _ The guilt was increasing in his chest at a rapid rate as he tried to shove it all down.

“Ya think I’m gonna just let ya walk away so ya can get yaself killed? Think again, get yer ass in the fuckin’ truck girl,” he scolded, making her look back up at him. Her eyes flashed with anger though as they pinned him in place.

“What the fuck do you care?” she sneered, yanking on her arm to free herself. Her words and tone had stunned him that much that her arm slipped out of his grip and she stormed off once again.

Why did he have to do this? Why did he have to be such a mess that he ruined everything he touched? He did care, he cared more than he liked which is why he was acting like this in the first place. And now he had fucked it all up because he couldn't control himself. He watched her walk away and images swam in his mind. Images of her at knifepoint, images of her being in the store, concussed and being surrounded by the dead. The terror gripped him so tightly he felt like he couldn't breathe for a minute. Like fuck he was going to let her walk away. How the fuck could he keep her safe if she wasn't by his side? He took off after her again, storming right over and spinning her around. Before she had time to say a word, he gripped around her waist and picked her up with ease, tossing her over his shoulder as he stormed back to the truck.

“Put me down Daryl!” she yelled angrily as she thrashed about, not impressed how easy it had been for him to just fucking pick her up like a sack of potatoes.

“No,” was all he said as he walked over to the truck. Merle was inside, watching them and shaking his head. What the fuck was happening today? 

He set her down just outside the door to the truck and sidestepped her when she went to run off again.

“Move!” she shouted, her cheeks flushing as she glared up at him.

“No! How the fuck am I gonna keep ya safe if ya ain’t here?!” he yelled back, eyes ablaze. She just squinted at him and pursed her full lips.

“I don't want you to keep me safe, you clearly have a fucking issue with it,” she spat bitterly. Her words made his heart seize up. It wasn't true at all but of course she would think it was when he had said all that shit to her. His walls were once again being chipped away and he squeezed his eyes shut and inhaled a shaky breath.

“Look girl, ya know I ain't mean that shit, so just get in the damn truck,” he muttered tensely. She just snorted and shook her head.

“No. I get you have issues Daryl, but if you think for one minute I’m here to be a verbal punching bag when you get your head up your ass, then you're fucking stupid. I haven't done a thing wrong! Neither did Merle. He was only joking about you last night, there's no need to act like its the end of the fucking world!” she glared, making his nostrils flare a little.

“I ain’t the one who acted like it was such a big fuckin’ deal, am I?! Yer the one who ran off like ya did. What happened in the woods, fine yeah I admit it, I did look at ya that way because of the hunt, but ya didn't need to run off when Merle told ya like I’m some kinda fuckin’ rapist!” he sneered bitterly. She looked bewildered for a minute as she blinked up at him.

“What the fuck are you talking about? I didn't run off because of that,” she frowned, confused what the fuck was going through that complicated head of his.

Daryl stilled, looking down at her carefully like he didn't believe her. If she didn't run off because of that then why the fuck did she?

“Don’t lie, I know he made ya uncomfortable, made ya fuckin’ think of me like I’m some kinda pervert,” he huffed, shaking his head as he avoided her eyes. Now the anger was starting to ebb away, the conversation was becoming mighty fucking uncomfortable for him and he wanted to punch himself for saying anything about it.

“Wha-...I don't have any idea what the fuck is going through your mind right now, but you're wrong. I know you're not a fucking rapist or pervert Daryl, seriously, get a fucking grip. What did I say to you the other day? You were the only guy in the diner not to make a move on me, not to make me feel like some kind of trophy or object,” she frowned, unsure what the hell he was going on about or why the fuck he would even be thinking this shit. She had no desire to tell him how she ran off because it hurt her to know he wouldn't ever like her, because he was so repulsed by her. But she had no idea how he had got his wires crossed this badly, that he was offended that she thought he was a rapist. 

They stood there for a moment, a tense silence over them as they just looked at each other. She could see the anger practically melt off him and she was relieved, hoping he was going to stop acting out like a damn child. Daryl was confused. Very fucking confused. If she didn't think that about him then why had she ran to the truck? He couldn't think of any other reason why she would do that. He couldn't bring himself to ask her though either, unsure he would want to know the answer. The last time she had said something and he was curious about it, he had cried after she had told him the answer, and he had no desire to have a repeat of that. Charlene shook her head, looking at him with so much disappointment for how he had behaved, fucking shouting at her, hurting her like that. He swallowed thickly at that look, a look he never wanted her to give him again as it made him feel like the trash he knew he was.

“Charlene I-” he started, frowning as he glared at the floor.

“Forget it. I’ll just keep out of your way from now on since you have such an issue with me,” she said coldly, making his eyes snap up to hers. He hadn't ever heard that tone leave her lips and it made his heart hurt that it was directed at him. 

He watched as she opened the truck and climbed in, making Merle scoot into the middle so she didn't have to sit next to him. The anger wasn't there anymore now though. Now there was a gaping hole in his chest where his heart had been ripped out. And it wasn't her that had torn it from his chest, it was himself. He had done this because he was a fucking idiot. Because he didn't know how to be a normal human being. He had lashed out at her, making her think he thought she was useless and weak, something he knew she already thought about herself. Now she thought he didn't care, thought he didn't want to keep her safe. He had fucked it all up as usual. Self-sabotage was his fucking speciality after all. He heaved a sigh as he walked around to the other side of the truck and got in the driver's side. Ignoring the looks his brother was sending him as he started up the truck. Atlanta couldn't come quick enough. Maybe it was a good thing she would stay out of his way, then she wouldn’t have to put up with his sorry fucked up ass any longer.


	21. Chapter 21

**Another chapter for you lovelies. I figured with how the last one ended, I shouldn't let you wait too long for this one. Here's some fluff to ease your wounds :') Let me know if you guys are still liking this story. I know there's a lot of angst, but I can't help myself. I haven't been called the Queen of Angst for nothing loooooool**

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What kind of fresh hell was this bullshit? It was pure hell and then some and it was all his own doing. The silence in the truck was deafening and Daryl was gnawing at his thumb relentlessly. The girl hadn't spoken to him in the hour that had passed. Merle was the one sat next to him and his brother was more than pissed at him too. Merle had looked at the map, picked a route and now they were on their way to Atlanta. But Daryl was fighting the urge to just duck and dive out of the damn truck with the mess he had created. He had let his brain run away with him. Presuming she thought the worst of him after what Merle said, but she was adamant that wasn't the reason. He had no clue what the reason could be but he knew he believed her. He could see on her face she wasn't lying and it only made him feel worse. He didn't have any way to justify how he had treated her because she hadn't thought that about him in the first place. His stupid Dixon temper got the best of him yet again, and after lashing out, he ruined the only good thing he had in his miserable life. The one human on the fucking planet that ever made him feel worth something hated him now. He had been mean and cruel to her, purposely saying shit to hurt her. And why? Because he was embarrassed? Because he was bitter? Once again he had let his feelings override everything and they all turned into anger. He had no right taking it out on her like that, yet he had done it anyway because he was a fucking idiot.

What the fuck was he supposed to do now? How did he fix this, make it so she didn't look at him with that look? The one laced with hurt and disappointment. He couldn't stand her looking at him that way, he needed to make it right. He knew he would have to swallow his pride and talk to her once they had a moment alone. He would fucking grovel if he had to so she would forgive him. She had seen the worst side to him, the Dixon part that he loathed so much. The side he tried to keep under wraps because it made him feel so ashamed. She had been witness to that dark part of him and he wished he could turn back time and punch himself.

They’d made good time for now, they were currently going through Lumpkin County and hopefully, they’d be in Atlanta in no time if they carried on that way.

“Aw shit, pull over, gotta take a leak,” Merle huffed, still in a mood with him. He bit his tongue at his tone or the fact he didn't want to stop. He just wanted to hurry the fuck up and get to Atlanta. They were still in a lot of woodland so he pulled up at the side of the road. Since Merle was sat in the middle, Daryl was going to get out to let him passed, but Charlene got there first. Opening her door and hopping out of the truck. For a brief moment he thought she might just go with Merle, but she didn't. She did however, stay outside the truck, clearly not wanting to be alone with him. 

He knew this was it, it might be the only chance to speak to her without his brother there before they got to Atlanta and whatever awaited them there. He inhaled a deep breath as he opened his door. He fished out his smokes and lit one up, inhaling greedily like it might help the situation and calm his nerves. He was chewing his thumb with his spare hand as he walked over to the girl who was stood halfway between the trees and the truck. She was twirling her knife around in her hands as she paced casually.

“Can we talk?” Daryl asked warily, glancing at her through his lashes looking somewhat boyish. She stopped pacing, turning to face him as she scoffed.

“You’ve said enough, don't you think?” there is was again, the coldness to her voice he hated. He felt like he was drowning and she was the one holding his head under the water. He just needed to get it over with, rip it off like a goddamn band-aid. If she didn't wanna listen, then fine, she had every right not to after the shit he pulled. But at least then he could say he tried.

“Look, I know ya hate me and I’m not surprised. I told ya all along I was a piece of shit. But...I didn't mean what I said. And I know deep down ya know that. I was embarrassed, I thought ya ran off because ya thought bad shit about me and I was wrong. I had no right to talk to ya that way or act like that. I was a dick,” he rambled nervously, his hands shaking a little as he lifted his smoke to his lips and took another deep drag of it.

She tilted her head a little as she looked at him, no emotion on her face at all and it made him panic.

“You were a dick,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at him. He might have found it adorable if she was looking at any other person but him that way. He didn't know what to say, he knew nothing he said would make it better and his heart was burning inside of his chest, knowing just how bad he fucked up.

“You wanna know why I ran to the truck?” she asked after a minute, looking at him intensely. He lowered his gaze, knowing she hated him now and he shrugged.

“Not sure I wanna know,” he admitted, his voice quiet even to his own ears. He was scared of what she might say to him, although he didn't know if it could get any worse than thinking he was some kind of rapist pervert.

She licked her lower lip, shifting her weight to her other leg as she glanced around. She didn't really want to tell him, but things had all gone to shit anyway so what the fuck did it matter? She wasn't sure what to think. He had said twice now he hadn't meant what he said in the heat of the moment and she wanted to believe him. She had always got on so well with him, it was hard to think he thought of her as some stuck up bitch like that. But his words still hurt, because if he didn't think about it, why would he say it? 

“I got embarrassed. And no it wasn't anything about what Merle said, you jerking off or fucking girls in the alley. I’m not that naive and easily offended Daryl, you know I’m used to Merle's mouth by now,” she started, making him look at her warily. She really didn't seem at all bothered by the things he thought had upset her. He was only more confused and anxious for the answer now.

“I ran off because I realized something. When Merle said you wouldn't ever make a move on me...it clicked then. It all made sense. Why you never bothered with me at work, why you freaked out when I tried to kiss your cheek. I’m too ugly for you. I’m that repulsive that even when you bagged a deer, you couldn't bring yourself to touch me. And that's fine. You don't like me, not much I can do about it. But it hurt me to feel that fucking disgusting, that even Merle knew you wouldn't ever wanna touch me in that way,” her cheeks flushed but she didn't waver in her stance or words as she said them, making it clear that the bullshit that just poured out of her mouth was something she actually believed in.

Daryl blinked at her dumbly for a minute, the words not quite sinking into his brain because she couldn't have possibly said what she just fucking said. He was even more confused than before he knew the answer.

“Wait...So ya tellin’ me, you were upset ‘cause...ya think I don’t find ya attractive?” He asked slowly, like he was talking to a small child. He watched as she blushed even harder and looked down, the confidence she exuded just moments before gone as she fidgeted and toyed with her hands.

“It's fine that you don't. It's not like I expect every man to be attracted to me at all. I knew you didn't like me that way anyway, but I always thought it was because I can't fucking look after myself, not because you think I’m disgusting,” she muttered with a shrug.  _ Did I wake up on another fuckin’ planet today or what? The fuck is this girl talkin’ about?  _ Nothing she was saying was making sense. She thought he didn’t find her attractive, the fact he wouldn't like her because he needed to take care of her, both of those were utter shit. Daryl loved taking care of her. It gave him a sense of purpose and pride and there wasn't a chance in hell that anyone with fucking eyes would ever think she was anything less than beautiful. But the main thing that was pinging around his fucking brain was why that had upset her at all. If she didn't like him like he knew she didn't, if she didn't think of him in that way, why had that information bothered her? Shouldn't she have felt relieved if she thought he didn't like her that way?

His eyes were slightly narrowed, watching her as his brain tried to make sense of the shit show that was happening in there. She was glaring at the floor, gripping her weapon tight as she chewed her lower lip.

“I don't...I don't understand what the fuck is goin’ on here,” Daryl mumbled, shaking his head as he came to terms with the fact that he wasn't going to be able to make sense of this shit.

“It just made me feel ugly Daryl, okay? And I’m still on my fucking period and the next thing I know, I’m thinking about how useless I am to you both and how I have no place here,” she frowned, leaving out how much it hurt since she had liked him for fucking ever because that shit was embarrassing. Daryl looked down as the shame crept in again, he knew she was feeling useless and he had to make it worse with his words earlier.

“Yer not useless Charlene. And ‘fore ya start, I know what I said. And it was all a bunch of shit. I get mean...when I’m mad and I don't understand shit, I get nasty. I said it because I knew it would upset ya, but I didn't mean a word of it. Can't ya see what a difference ya’ve made for us since ya came along? Merles gettin’ clean, we’re gettin’ on better. So what if ya don't hunt or track? So what if ya not as strong as we are? Don't mean ya don't give us nothin’,” he admitted, feeling the tips of his ears turning pink at his words. She looked up, her shiny green eyes making his breathing hitch a little. Oh, what an asshole he had been. He felt awful and he didn't remember feeling this guilty for anything he’d done before.

“I just don't wanna feel like a burden Daryl,” she whispered, looking off to the side as her words hung heavy in the air. Would she feel better if he punched himself? Cause he would fucking do it if it would. Why did he have to be so fucking nasty when he was mad?  _ Guess I am my old man's son after all… _

“Yer not a fuckin’ burden. I like takin’ care of ya. I like providin’ for ya, keepin’ ya safe. It makes me feel fuckin’ good, alright? It...it makes me feel fuckin’ useful and like I can do some good,” he muttered, inhaling the last of his smoke like his life depended on it before tossing it to the floor and putting it out with his boot.

She looked back at him then, like she was searching his face to figure him out, see if he was telling the truth. He didn't blame her for not believing him right off that bat when only an hour before he had been yelling the opposite at her.

“You mean that?” she asked softly, sniffling a little as she tried to get ahold of herself. Daryl gave her a little half-smile as he nodded.

“Ya fuckin’ family now Peaches, whether ya like it or not. Sorry to say….yer a fuckin’ Dixon now,” he smirked a little, making her snort. Fuck he’d missed that sound. It filled his hollow chest with warmth and it felt like his cold dead heart had finally started beating again.

“We good?” he asked, looking bashful and hopeful all rolled into one. He really hoped they’d cleared the air here, he had said sorry and he hoped she believed him.

“Yeah, just...next time talk to me okay? You don't need to act like that,” she muttered, making him nod. 

“I know, m’sorry. I won't ever do it again,” he vowed, meaning it because that look of disappointment was still haunting him and he never wanted to see it again directed at him.

She gave him a little smile and he breathed a sigh of relief. He still didn't know what to think about the shit she had said, why she was bothered by thinking he didn't like her that way. She had said it made her feel ugly and she was on her period, maybe that's why. He didn't know how shit worked but he knew chicks got a little mental on their fucking period. Merle had a girl once, it was casual and they were only together for like three months, but when she was on the rag she would flip her shit. Then again, who wouldn't if they were stuck with his brother? There was still something else he wanted to say to the girl but he couldn't bring himself to open his mouth. It sent a jolt of panic through him every time he tried. But when he saw Merle making his way through the trees towards them, he realised this was the perfect opportunity. He could say it and she wouldn't have a chance to respond, to say something that embarrassed him or make him feel somewhat rejected. She wouldn't have time. He knew she wouldn't say shit with his brother there. She wasn't looking at him, her eyes had gone to his brother who was making his way over to them.

“For what it's worth, I don't think yer ugly. Think ya the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid my damn eyes on,” Daryl admitted, making her head whip to him with wide eyes. He turned around though before she could get a word in and hopped into the truck. Not able to look at her in case she was looking disgusted by his words. Charlene watched after him with wide eyes and a slack jaw.

“Did Daryl Dixon just call me pretty?” she whispered to herself, her cheeks heating up like crazy as a stupid smile worked its way onto her lips. Did she hear right? It made her stomach do flips and she wasn't sure just what to do with that information but it made her feel like a giddy schoolgirl.

“The fuck ya smilin’ about?” Merle snorted as he stood next to her, making her look to him and blush out of embarrassment now. Being caught with a stupid grin on her face like a dick.

“Hm? Nothing. Me and Daryl talked, things are better now so let's just move on,” she said, making him squint at her suspiciously. She was acting damn weird, but he was glad they had sorted shit out. Things were getting annoying and now the tension would be gone. The three of them had been getting on well, they just meshed together somehow. The tension had shifted that dynamic but now it seemed to be back.

Merle went to walk to the truck but Charlene grabbed his wrist, stilling him for a minute.

“I just wanted to thank you. For sticking up for me like that before. I appreciate it,” she smiled, making his face soften a little.

“Ain't nothin’ to thank me for girlie, yer part of the family now, better get used to it. Us Dixons, we look after our own, best believe that,” he said with a grin as he walked to the truck door. He had said pretty much what Daryl had said, called her family. It sent a warmth through her whole body and she felt a little emotional. She smiled to herself, jogging over and pushing past Merle, laughing when he grumbled to himself about it. She wanted to sit next to Daryl like she always did, she felt safe next to him and he was comfy to sleep on with those broad shoulders.

Daryl glanced nervously at her when she got in but she just smiled at him. His lips tugged into a smile of their own as she settled beside him. He didn't realise just how much he had missed her sitting pressed up to him like that until she was once again in her rightful place by his side. He was glad she didn't look at him with disdain at his words either. She seemed happy somehow. He didn't know why but he realised overthinking was his downfall, best not go down that road again. Merle got in and Daryl started the truck.

“Atlanta here we come!” Merle hooted, making Charlene snort as Daryl looked over amused and shook his head. He was glad things seemed normal once again. No doubt sooner or later he would fuck up again. He wondered just how many chances she was willing to give him every time he fucked up.  _ Shit, don't even go there man.  _ He needed to stop getting into his own head making things complicated for himself. He was here with the girl he had pined after for fucking years and his brother, they were both alive and well. What more could he ask for? He needed to count his blessings. His eyes drifted to the pretty girl next to him, the girl who was more understanding than he ever thought possible. The girl was a damn angel and he had to look away as he felt a dopey smile trying to fucking grace his face.  _ Count my blessin’s and pray not to fuck up again. _


	22. Chapter 22

**Shit gets real in this one, fair warning for the feels, not good ones either.**

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_ A low groan left Daryl’s lips at the jolt of pleasure that shot through his body, his hand fisting his dick. His other hand was splayed on the cool tile in front of him as the warm water from the shower beat down on him. Merle was off doing fuck knows what and Daryl was grateful for once, he needed the peace. Especially after seeing Charlene today. Daryl was used to seeing the girl around when she was at work. What he wasn't used to, however, was her turning up at **his** place of work. He had worked the mechanic job for a few months now, he hoped to keep it but Merle always somehow fucked things up for him when it came to jobs. But he enjoyed it, working with his hands like that, fixing things. It made him feel good. _

_ He had been working when Charlene had walked in the garage and he almost keeled right over. Seeing her in her work uniform from the diner or only being able to see the top half of her behind the store counter was one thing, but today it was hot outside, and she was wearing these tiny fucking denim shorts with a tank top. He ain't ever seen her dress like that before and he couldn't tear his eyes away from those fucking legs. She glanced around and when her eyes landed on him, she beamed a smile that made his heart beat all funny in his chest. The fuck was she so happy to see him for? She walked over and Daryl was painfully aware of the eyes on her, knowing just what kind of guys he worked with and the things that would be running through their heads. He had half a mind to pick her up and carry her back to her house so she could put on some damn pants. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the view, of course he did. But he knew every other prick in the room did too.  _

_ “Hey Daryl! I didn't know you worked here,” she grinned, making him grunt and nod as he chewed his lower lip. He tried to keep his eyes on her face and away from her tight tank top or legs. When he offered up no conversation, since he had no fucking game at all, she must have decided to just carry on talking. _

_ “Do you think you guys could take a look at my car? It’s a piece of shit,” she frowned. Cars, that was a safe topic. Something that he could work with and use to distract himself. _

_ “S’wrong with it?” he asked gruffly. She never seemed phased by his tone though, it was unsettling for him.  _

_ “There's a weird rattling noise when I accelerate and it keeps conking out on me,” she smiled sheepishly. _

_ “Yeah, I can look at it,” he shrugged, wanting to be the one to do it so she didn't have to talk to any of these assholes. _

_ “Thanks Daryl! Am I okay to wait here?” she asked, blinking up at him with those long lashes and green eyes. He didn't like the idea of her waiting here but he knew she wouldn't be able to get home without her car. It wasn't like he could take her home just yet since he was working, so it seemed the better option. The place didn't close for another hour, he knew if there was anything wrong with her car then it would have to stay here overnight, so he would offer her a ride in the truck. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. Part of him secretly hoped she would be getting a ride home, to be spending some time alone with her like that. But most of him was too fucking chicken and hoped her car was just fine.  _

_ Daryl was pleasantly surprised by two things. First of all, the girl had just stuck by his side while he checked her car over. She hadn't acknowledged anyone else here which meant he didn't have to go breaking faces today. Second, she had been quiet, not bothering him with small talk or mindless bullshit. She just let him get on with his job. If he was some kind of sappy bastard, he might have thought something like she was perfect for him. But he wasn't, not at all. That thought didn't creep into his mind even once, or seven times.  _

_ “What's the verdict?” she asked with a smirk as he wiped his dirty hands on his coveralls.  _

_ “Yer motor mounts have gone to shit, ruptured. Gonna need fixin’ but we close in fifteen minutes, gonna have to wait ‘til tomorrow, “ he explained, watching her face fall. He felt bad he had caused that look, but it wasn’t his fault after all. _

_ “Okay, Thanks Daryl, I appreciate this. I'll see you tomorrow,” she said, a weak smile on her lips as she slung her bag over her shoulder. This was it, he couldn't let her fucking walk home on her own like that. Shit, he had **some** manners. _

_ “If ya wait a minute, let me change. I can take ya home,” he insisted, his tone leaving no room for argument because like fuck he was giving her a choice. Her eyes widened a little and he half expected her to laugh or tell him to fuck the fuck off, that she wouldn't ever get in a car with him. But instead a bright smile graced her features and she seemed to relax. Maybe she was worried about her walking home too. _

_ “You're a lifesaver, you know that?” she grinned, making him scoff and duck his head shyly. He fished his keys from his pocket and handed them to her. He wasn't about to leave her here whilst he got himself ready to go home. _

_ “Go wait, it's the Gray-blue Ford F-250 outside,” he said, making her nod with a smile before she scurried off. _

_ “Damn Dixon, ya lucky bastard! How’dya land a girl like her?” Dave called from the other end of the shop with a laugh. Daryl rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore him. He didn't correct him though. Maybe they'd all leave her alone if they thought she was his girl. It didn't take long before he was ready and in the driver's seat of his truck. He could smell her and it felt like it was suffocating him. His eyes kept sideglancing to her legs, those tiny fucking shorts would be the death of him. All he could think about were those legs wrapped around him as he fucked her senseless. He couldn't bring himself to talk. His thoughts were going places they shouldn't have gone and he was scared if he spoke she might somehow know. Thankfully she stayed quiet, seemingly content with the silence. He was relieved when he pulled up outside of her house, his dick was straining against his jeans and he needed to get the fuck out of dodge before she noticed. _

_ “Thanks again Daryl, I’ll see you tomorrow,” she smiled, hopping out and walking to her door. Daryl didn't even try and stop himself from staring at her firm looking ass as she went, not like she could see him now anyhow. He sped off home, knowing his brother wouldn't be in. He was rarely in these days and Daryl was thankful for it. He knew his brother was up to no good, but he needed the peace. He went straight to the bathroom, tearing at his clothes almost frantically. His dick was throbbing, it was almost painful as he stepped under the spray of the water. Wasting no time as he gripped his cock and started stroking it. She made him feel like a damn horny teenager all over again. It didn't take long until he felt the pleasure building, the tingling that started at the base of his spine. He was panting and moaning, arching into his own hand as he imagined being buried deep inside the girl with the pretty green eyes. _

_ ~ _

Daryl's eyes shot open with a gasp, his chest heaving as he looked around frantically. He wasn't back at home jerking off to the girl, he was fucking sat next to her in the truck whilst his brother drove. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest, her scent was fucking choking him as it filled his nostrils, making his head spin after the dream he had. Merle and Charlene glanced to him. Merle knew better than to ask him about it, assuming it was a nightmare. Daryl had been having nightmares since a young boy and Merle knew to leave well enough alone. 

“Are you okay?” Charlene asked carefully, he was sweating and his face was flushed. He looked spooked.

“Need air, let me out,” he demanded, his voice sounding panicked. Merle hit the brakes and Daryl flung himself out the door, sucking in air greedily. Man, why did he have to be such a fucking pervert? Dreaming about one of the many times he touched himself thinking about her. Only to wake up and have her right there, her side pressed against his. He just needed to cool off for a fucking second. He flinched when he felt a hand on his arm, whipping around to come face to face with the girl he had been dreaming about. He swallowed thickly and looked down at the floor.

“Bad dream?” she asked, giving him a wary smile. 

“S’nothin’,” he grunted, not wanting to outright lie to her but unable to tell her just what it was.

She just nodded and let his arm go, letting him relax a little. He finally managed to calm his breathing and settle himself.

“Uh...whilst we’re out here...I kinda need to pee,” she said sheepishly, her cheeks flushing as she avoided his eyes. He just blinked at her for a moment before nodding. They'd done this a hundred times by now but it never got less awkward. Daryl went over to the truck, peeking his head in the open window.

“She’s gotta piss, be back in a few,” he said, making Merle snort and nod as he handed his brother his bow. Daryl went back over to her and lead her into the wooded area they were near. He had his bow ready in case it was needed and turned his back as she did her business. 

An hour later and he was still in the woods, but this time for a different reason. When they had gone back to the truck Merle had said he was itching to hunt something so they decided just to look about in the woods near the truck for some game. He knew it was the fact that his brother was antsy, Daryl was really proud of how far his brother had come with lessening his drug use, it made him feel hopeful that his brother might actually get clean one day. It was evident just how antsy Merle was with the fact that he was willing to leave the truck and bike on the main road as they all went through the woods. But they knew not to go too far. They hadn’t caught a damn thing though and it was about to start getting dark.

Daryl walked on ahead a little, crouching to examine some tracks. Seemed to be a rabbit, maybe they would catch something after all.

“Mother fucker!” he heard Merle yell out from behind him and then Charlene cried out his name. He whipped around with his bow ready to see Merle with a dead fuck on top of him whilst he lay on the floor. Charlene shocked the shit out of herself and Daryl when she swung her tomahawk down into the soft skull on the dead prick, making it go limp. Daryl ran over, pushing the fucker off his brother in a panic. His brother was out cold, no doubt from the fall, maybe hit his head or something. But Daryl was frantic as he checked him over for a bite. When he didn't see one, he relaxed infinitely, standing and wiping a hand over his face with a shaky hand.

“Daryl!” Charlene gasped, tugging on his arm. He looked to where she was staring at only to see a whole bunch of the dead stumbling through the trees, no doubt after hearing his brother yell like he did. His heart seized up as he looked to his brother unconscious on the floor.

“Get the fuck back to the truck!” he called out, slinging his bow over his shoulder as he crouched next to Merle.

“What?! I'm not going without you!” she cried, terror gripping her soul as she glanced to the dead who were approaching them.

“Girl, I ain't gonna tell ya twice! I need to get him outta here! I'll follow ya! Just go!” he snarled, not having her fucking do this to him. He couldn't focus on keeping them both safe like this, he needed all his attention on his brother. His tone had her scurrying off, knowing not to argue. He hooked his arms under Merle's armpits and started dragging his dead weight, trying to be as quick as he could. He thanked his lucky stars the dead weren't fucking runners, that shit would be scarier than this. 

His heart was beating erratically, he couldn't even use his weapon like this. He just needed to get his brother back to the truck. He dragged him, ignoring the burning in his arms and as he finally made it to the road, his heart shattered when he saw no sign of the girl.

“Charlene? Charlene?!” he called out, panic lacing his words as his head whipped around. She wasn't here. He felt a searing pain in his chest and then he heard the dead getting closer. He needed to get Merle in the truck before they came through the trees and saw them. They’d never be able to get out the damn thing with all of them surrounding it. He opened the door and grunted as he hauled Merle into the seat, laying him down and chucking a jacket over him so the dead didn't catch a glimpse of him. He slammed the door shut, crouching in the footwell. It was uncomfortable, he wasn't fucking small, but he didn't have a choice. Where the fuck was she? His heart was burning as he pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, the tears threatening to fall. She was out there all alone with all these dead fucks. He couldn't go to her, they were already walking passed them, the truck kept rocking as they bumped into it and a choked sob left his lips. What was he thinking? Sending her off on her own like that, like she was as skilled as he and Merle were at navigating the woods. He tugged on his hair harshly, angry at himself for being so stupid and careless, and now she was out there alone and scared. Without him or his brother to keep her safe.

Merle stirred, a soft groan leaving his lips as his eyes fluttered open,

“The fuck?” he asked wearily, taking note at how he was now laying in the truck.

“Shut the fuck up!” Daryl hissed, eyes wide and feral looking. Merle couldn't see him from how he was lay but he heard the panic in his voice. Merle's keen sense of hearing picked up on the many groans and how their truck rocked back and forth. He held his breath realising what was going on. It felt like forever until the truck stopped moving and the noises dulled down and Merle sat up. He looked around and a deep frown etched onto his face when he realised they were the only two there.

“Where the fucks the girl?” Merle barked glaring at his brother as he got out from the footwell, grabbing his bow.

“Fuckin’... I told her to run when all the dead came. Told her to go to the truck so I could get ya back and...and she ain't here man! She’s just..she’s fuckin’ gone!” Daryl lamented, sounding scared and angry.

“Ya fuckin’ lost her?!” Merle yelled, making Daryl clench his jaw and squeeze his eyes shut. He didn’t need his brother to point out what a fucking failure he was. He knew just how much of a failure he was all on his own. 

Daryl didn't need to even say a word to his brother as they both jumped out of the truck. There were only a few stragglers left now and Merle jabbed his knife into an eye socket of one whilst Daryl let a bolt fly into the temple of another. Both being of the same mind, they wordlessly went back to where Merle had been knocked out. That was the last time they had seen the girl and Daryl hoped to fuck they could track her from there, that all the dead hadn't fucked up the tracks. She wasn't there, not that he expected her to be since he had told her to run and saw her. He glanced in the direction that he saw her running and his heart sank. How the fuck hadn't he noticed she had run the wrong fucking way? He resisted the urge to yell, to fucking kick something as he tugged again harshly at his hair and he clenched his jaw. Merle watched him carefully, seeing him starting to unravel. He was worried but he wasn't about to make Daryl feel worse than what he already clearly did. 

Daryl walked the way she went, looking on the floor for some tracks but he couldn't make much out with all the dead fucks footprints all over. He walked through some trees, stopping dead as his heart clenched so painfully he felt it might just explode.

“No. No no no!” he yelled as he shook his head, making Merle push past him to see just what he had seen. Merle relaxed when he didn't see the girl’s mangled eaten body lay there but it didn't help any that her pack was there covered in blood. Merle tried to quell the panic inside of him, he needed to be the big brother here. Daryl shook his head, his resolve of trying to be quiet gone as he let out a mix between an anguished cry and an angry yell. He doubled over, falling to his knees as he sucked in harsh breaths, broken sobs leaving his lips. She was gone. She was dead and it was all his fault. How had he failed her this badly? It was obvious she hadn't got out of this alive. The amount of blood on the pack, all the tracks from the biters. 

Merle swallowed thickly as Daryl's gut-wrenching cries filled up the space surrounding them and he tried to stuff it all down. The girl was gone, it was pretty fucking clear at this point and he hated how it made his heart ache dully inside of his chest. He walked over to Daryl, crouching next to him and Daryl all but lunged at him. Clinging to him like a life raft as he sobbed helplessly. The only other time Merle had seen his little brother this upset was after their mother had died. And right now Daryl was more boy than man as he cried like a small child. It only made the dull ache grow in Merle's chest. 

“I got ya baby brother,” he muttered, cradling his head as he squeezed his own eyes shut. He heard rustling behind them and a few biters were on their way. He wasn't surprised with the racket his brother was making.

“We gotta go Daryl,” Merle said firmly, Daryl didn't move though, even when Merle stood up. Daryl just sat on his knees, tears falling down his dirty cheeks as he glared at the girls pack.

Merle grabbed it, slinging it over his shoulder and yanking his brother up by the arm. He dragged Daryl through the forest and pushed him into the truck when they got there. Now in the safety of the truck, he glanced to his little brother as he was staring vacantly out the window. 

“Daryl...Shit, I’m sorry brother,” Merle lamented, his own voice cracking a little as he glanced to the pack in his lap. He had grown fond of the tiny little thing, and now she was just gone. Daryl was silent, too silent for Merle's liking as he watched him warily. Without warning, Daryl reached out and grabbed Merle's gun and went to put it into his mouth, but Merle snatched it away before he fucking put a bullet in his head. The bullet went off and lodged itself into the roof of the truck as Merle glared at him, smacking him upside the head. He knew his brother was hurting, but like hell he was gonna put up with this bullshit.

“Just let me fuckin’ do it Merle! She's dead ‘cause of me! I fuckin’ failed her!” Daryl yelled ferociously, but Merle knew the anger wasn’t directed at him. Daryl was angry at himself.

“Ya didn't fail her Daryl, ya kept her alive for as long as ya did. Ya sent her off thinkin’ it would help, it ain’t yer fault,” Merle tried to reason with him. He couldn't remember seeing his brother this wild looking. Daryl growled, kicking the dash in a temper as he pulled at his hair. Merle watched on, he knew nothing he said would make this easier on him and his heart was breaking for him. Daryl put his head in his hands, his chest heaving. How could the world be so cruel? After every single thing he had endured in his life, every ounce of pain he was dealt, how could he lose the only good thing he had left? How could life be so fucking cruel to do this to him? He sat up, wiping his eyes and sniffling and Merle eyed him carefully. 

He saw it, the moment his brother shut down. This was what happened when their mother died. Daryl had switched off, his brain wanting to numb the pain. The only thing he had felt was anger and that was it and Merle knew he was doing it all over again. Daryl stared out of the window, letting the numbness take over, welcoming the relief from the blinding pain he was feeling from the grief. 

“We should uh...we should head to Atlanta still. See what's there,” Merle muttered. It felt wrong somehow to still go, to even say that after what happened. But they couldn't just sit here whilst his brother had a fucking mental breakdown. He had to take charge and deal with this before it got out of hand.

“Do what ya want,” Daryl huffed, still staring ahead. He didn't give two shits what they did now, he didn't care of the biters fucking got to him. He fucking deserved it for what he did. She was dead because of him. The light in his life had been snuffed out in an instant and now he had nothing. Fuck the world. The world never did anything for him. He had tried so hard to be a better man, to do better than his name and the curse that followed it. But he always got shit on, nothing ever went right. What was the point in trying to be a better man if this was all he got? He would just be the asshole he knew was hidden deep inside of him. He would fucking live up to that wretched Dixon name because why the fuck not? He didn't have a reason to be a better man anymore. He didn't owe the world shit.


	23. Chapter 23

**The feeeeeels… *sobs***

**Bit of a long one.**

**As I’m writing this author note, I’ve already got the next chap written. I do this a lot, go back and reread and add author notes and shit. I was really torn about the next one. I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep it strictly Daryl since most of this fic is more from his POV.**

**We have seen some of Merle and Charlene's thoughts when it's needed but I’ve focused heavily on Daryl because it’s fun. But I felt the next chapter needed to show more of Charlene and what’s happened with her since they got separated, to give you guys an idea and stuff.**

**It will be switching back to mainly Daryl's POV after it though as that's the way this story is. Just wanted to give you a heads up that the next one is focused on Charlene but very important.**

**\--------------------------------**

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Fourteen days, that's how long it had been since Daryl failed the girl who trusted him. Fourteen days ago he lost the only good thing in his life. Fourteen days ago Daryl became the worst version of himself. He didn’t really remember getting to Atlanta or even how he fucking got roped into settling with the group of assholes he was currently with. Merle had said something about robbing them. He hadn't really listened. He was in a bad place in his head. He had been numb at first, in shock from losing her, from failing her in the worst fucking way. He didn't have much memory of any of that, like his brain had switched off to protect him. But now the numbness was wearing off and all he was left with was a deep sense of rage. He was angry at himself, it was all his fault. The last words she ever fucking said to him was her saying she didn’t want to go without him, and there he was, sending her away and not even noticing she ran in the opposite direction. He wasn't just angry at himself though. He was angry at the world. His bitterness had reached a whole new fucking level and being here, seeing people with their loved ones, that shit was rubbing him raw. 

He spent most of his time in the woods or in his tent, avoiding everyone. He didn't want to socialise, he didn't want to get to know a single one of those pricks. He and Merle went out every day, hunting for food for them all, yet they still looked at them the same way. With disgust and disdain all over their stupid fucking faces. They could go fuck themselves. Daryl intending on talking to his brother and getting them out of here. Fuck robbing them, let them keep their shit. Ain't like any of them were gonna survive anyway.

And fucking Merle. He had started using again since Charlene just fucking disappeared into thin air, leaving nothing but a blood-drenched backpack behind. They had still kept it, not opening it, leaving it untouched. It was all they had left, the only proof that the angel who would change their life so much even existed now. Merle had also taken it hard. He had tried to be there for Daryl at first, but his brother was long gone. He had been in his own damn head and Merle had just snapped. Without the girl there to give him a reason, to give him that look that made him realise he needed to be a better man. Well, Merle didn't give a shit any more. Much like Daryl, he didn't know why he should even bother. What was the point? She was gone now. This good pure fucking soul had been cruelly ripped from them for no reason. Why bother to be good people if they got shit on all the time? Daryl couldn't even bring himself to care that his brother was using again. He didn't care when his brother was being a menace in camp. He didn't try to talk to him, calm him down. He didn't give one fucking shit at all.

Daryl growled to himself. He was laying on his back in his tent as the deep burning in his chest wouldn't leave. Ever since his brain decided to switch back on, it was there. Like someone had rammed a scorching poker into his chest and jabbed him right through the heart. It just made him mad. He shouldn't be grieving because she shouldn't be dead. It was unfair and it was all his fucking fault. Merle should have let him just eat a bullet like he intended, would have been easier than living with this fucking pain. He sat up, wiping at his eyes angrily as the hot tears fell of their own accord. He glared at her pack in the corner of the tent. The blood was dry and crusty on it now but it was still there. A glaring reminder of the painful demise she endured. It should have been him, he wished it had been him. She was a good person, a kind soul. She never once judged him, even when he was an asshole to her. Even before the world went to shit she was always nice to him and he regretted never getting the chance to say he liked her. The chance was gone now, she wasn't here. He knew she would just laugh or be disgusted anyway if she was here and he told her, but at least he would have gotten it off his chest. Now it felt like a weight that was pulling him deeper into the dark abyss.

His hand twitched as he got the urge to open the pack, see what was inside. But he stopped himself. He didn't need to torture himself like that. He knew once he opened the floodgates they would never close and he needed to stuff it all down. He cleared his throat before he got up and out of the tent. The sky was starting to get dark now and when he glanced around, his brother wasn't there. No doubt passed out in his tent. Daryl was hungry though, and now they were part of a group they were rationing shit between them. He felt like a kid at school having to ask for his fucking dinner. He went over to the RV as he ignored the group sat around the campfire chatting like the world hadn't ended and people weren't dead. He rummaged around for a can of something he could eat. He had no intention of eating with these assholes, he would eat in his tent. His body stilled, stood rigid as he glared at the can in his hand. _Fuckin' peaches._ A searing pain started in his chest and seemed to spread into every inch of his body, seeping into his bones as he glared at it. His throat felt tight as a lump started to form and he snarled, dropping the can like it was poisonous. He stormed out, his appetite gone and he ignored the looks he got as he stalked back to his tent with a heaving chest. He zipped it up once he was inside and collapsed onto the floor, head in his hands as he choked back a sob. 

It hurt. It hurt too fucking much and it was overwhelming him. She was gone. He'd never see her pretty face again, he’d never hear her beautiful voice or her laugh.  _ Shit Peaches, why d’ya have to go?  _ He wiped his eyes with shaky hands as he sucked in air greedily, trying to fill his lungs and calm himself down. Last thing he needed was someone coming to check on him because he was crying like a little bitch. He jumped when his tent zipped open and he glared up with watery eyes as Merle climbed in. Daryl lowered his gaze, his cheeks turning pink at his brother seeing him like this. Merle didn't say anything at first, sitting opposite him as he watched him carefully. Daryl didn't know if his brother was high right then, he didn't really care too much. He didn't care about anything other than the girl who wasn't even here anymore.

“C’mon now baby brother. I know it hurts, but she wouldn't want ya to carry on like this,” Merle said carefully as he eyed the mess of his brother in front of him.

“I don't wanna carry on no more full stop. She's just...she's just gone Merle. She's gone and I ain't ever gonna see her again and I can't…” another soft sob left his lips as he shook his head angrily, swiping at his eyes as he clenched his jaw. He wanted the damn pain to go the fuck away.

“I know. I loved that girl like my own damn kin but we can't do shit about it. We can’t bring her back, so we do the next best thing. We live  _ for _ her. We get our shit together and do her right, we carry on,” Merle said firmly, gripping his brother's shoulder. Daryl raised his puffy eyes and looked at him. He wished he could do as Merle said, he wished he could make her proud wherever she was right now but he didn't have it in him. He was too far gone now. Her death had left a gaping wound in his chest and nothing would ever ease the pain that went along with it.

“How long? How long I’m I gonna have to live with this fuckin’ pain? How long am I gonna have to carry this around with me? It's fuckin’ killin’ me,” Daryl lamented brokenly, lowering his head once more. 

Merle heaved a sigh as he moved closer, wrapping an arm around his brother. Daryl leaned into him a little, not caring how weak or pathetic he looked. He needed any comfort he could get right now. Merle knew he was hurting, hell Merle was hurting too. It was why he was using again because if he was high, it made it easier. But his brother wasn’t a user like he was. His brother had nothing to help him with the pain and he was at a loss on how to help him. He knew in time it would get easier, but if losing his mother taught Merle anything, it was that the pain a person's death brought, it never went away, you just get used to it. But he didn't have the heart to tell his little brother that, because he was already at rock bottom and Merle was worried about him. He’d already tied to fucking off himself with his gun once and he didn't need a repeat of that.

“We’ll go huntin’ tomorrow mornin’, might make ya feel better. See if we can find some of those dead pricks, take ya anger out on ‘em,” Merle suggested. Daryl nodded as he moved away, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

“Alright, get some sleep Daryl, ya fuckin’ need it,” Merle said sternly. Daryl only nodded again, not looking at him and Merle sighed as he left the tent. 

Daryl knew he wouldn't sleep though. He had barely slept since it happened because every time he closed his fucking eyes, all he could see was Charlene. Her eyes milky, her skin rotten and falling off as she lunged at him. And every time he would stand there, unmoving as he looked at the monster he had created. Letting her take a chunk out of him because it was what he deserved. Fuck, he deserved worse than that. All he had wanted was to keep her safe. To protect her, keep her well-fed and happy. Keep that sunshine smile that he loved so much on her fucking face. And instead, he was the reason why she had died. She wanted to stay with him, where she knew she would be safe and he had sent her off like a lamb to the slaughter. The last time he spoke to her he had shouted at her to get her to run to the truck. If he had known those would be his last words to her, he would have said something different. She would have been scared, running for her life as the dead got her and she was all alone. No one to help her, no one to try and save her. 

Now she was just gone. Daryl didn't know if she had been eaten or if she was now roaming the world until someone put a bullet in her head as she tried to eat people. The thought made bile rise in his throat as he grabbed her pack. He opened it with trembling hands, looking inside of it. There were some candy bars, some cans of food. A gun she never learnt how to use and some clothes. He pulled out one of her shirts, glaring at it. It was dirty since she never got the chance to wash it and through the smell of dirt and grime, the meadowy scent hit his nose and his chest tightened. He closed his eyes, imagining she was just sat with him like she should have been. No doubt giving Merle hell for something or another or just smiling and being pretty. His eyes fluttered open, reality coming back to him that he was alone, tears streaming down his face. 

“M’sorry Peaches,” he whispered brokenly, burying his face into her shirt as he cried.

Never once in his life had he felt like such a failure, and that fucking said something. His whole life he either had his dad or Merle making him feel like he couldn't do a damn thing right and he had proved them both right by failing her. He had let her down and she paid for it. Maybe he should live, maybe he should just suffer for the rest of his days on this godforsaken earth because he needed to be punished for what he had done. He set the shirt down and rummaged through the bag some more, his hand pulling out something that made his heart explode. It was a rabbit's foot on a keychain, it was _his_. It made his mind transport him back to when he had given it to her.

~

_ Daryl trudged up the stairs in the huge mansion they were holed up in. He was seeking her out again, he always did it without even realising it, but his feet always seemed to carry him wherever she was. He opened the bedroom door and looked at her amused as she stood in front of the mirror, trying different sunglasses on. _

_ “The fuck ya doin’ girl?” he snorted, making her turn around and laugh, her cheeks flushing a little.  _

_ “Being cool. Come here,” she grinned, walking over and gripping his wrist as she tugged him over to the dresser. She opened the drawer and his eyes were met with a bunch of fucking sunglasses. _

_ “The fuck?” he asked sounding amused. _

_ “I know, sunglasses are a weird thing to collect, but they're all expensive ones. Here, have some Prada,” she grinned, grabbing a pair and putting them on him.  _

_ “We’re fancy now,” she smirked, making him huff a laugh. He knew he looked ridiculous, they were women’s glasses after all but he couldn't be mad at her. Not when she was grinning at him like the sun shone outta his ass, he would fucking run with it. _

_ “I’m bored now. There's nothing good to do in this shitty new world,” she huffed, sitting on the bed in front of him. He took the glasses off, tossing them carelessly on the dresser as he looked down at her. She wasn't wrong though. It was weird with nothing to do, filling space with fuck all. Her hand darted out and grabbed the keychain that was attached to one of his belt loops and he swallowed thickly. She pulled on it, making him take a step closer as she examined the rabbit's foot and he tried not to think about how she was right near his dick. _

_ “Did you make this?” she asked softly, her hand rubbing it a little as her wide green eyes turned up to him. His heart started to beat erratically in his chest as his mind went right into the gutter. Thinking about her looking up at him like that in a different way.  _

_ “Yeah,” was all he could say. His throat felt dry, like he’d swallowed fucking sand and he couldn't tear his eyes off her.  _

_ “I always wanted one of these. For good luck and everything. Lord knows we need it,” she snorted, letting it go finally. He took a small step back, still aware of how close she was and he cleared his throat.  _

_ His hand seemed to have a mind of its own as he unclipped it and held it out to her. _

_ “Can have it if ya want,” he murmured, watching as her eyes widened a little and grabbed it, her fingers brushing his in the process and making his whole arm burst with tingles. _

_ “Are you sure?” she asked, a wide smile splitting her face as she looked at him.  _ **_Shit, ya could ask me to cut my damn arm off and I would._ ** _ He didn't say that of course. He just nodded, the tips of his ears turning pink as he ducked his head. _

_ “Thank you Daryl,” she grinned, jumping up and going to her pack. She didn't want to lose it so she stuffed it inside, hoping it would bring her the luck she really needed. She walked back over to him and looked up at him, nibbling her lower lip. He tried to look away but he couldn't, just looking down at her like she was a precious gem he had just found. _

_ “Can I hug you or are you gonna freak out?” she asked with a wry grin, making him scoff and blush as he looked down. _

_ “Smartass,” he smirked, making her light laugh fill the room.  _

_ He was a little grateful she had mentioned it though. When she hugged him without warning it would make him freak out a little and this time he had time to prepare himself. But it made it almost awkward that she had to ask, stood there waiting for it feeling like an asshole. She wrapped her arms around his middle and he swallowed thickly, bringing his arms around her. Shit, it felt nice. Just holding her like this, one hand cradling her head and the other splayed on her back. He loved her scent, it soothed him in ways he never thought possible and he just soaked it all in. Greedily lapping up the affection he was always starved of as a young boy. He wasn't sure how long they hugged for. It felt like forever but it also didn't feel long enough and suddenly she pulled away, grinning up at him. _

_ “See, it's not that bad,” she teased, making him squint playfully at her and shake his head. _

_ “Carry on and ya won't get any more hugs,” he said, his lips quirking into a smile. She pouted at him and poked him in the chest, making him grunt and snort. _

_ “You can't deny me Daryl Dixon hugs, that's just evil,” she huffed playfully. _

_ “Yeah yeah, ya can always go hug Merle, sure he'd appreciate it,” he smirked, it widened when her eyes narrowed at him. _

_ “No thanks, I’d rather hug you. You’re like a big cuddly bear,” she grinned. He quirked a brow and it made her laugh, and once again he couldn't be mad at her when she was so fucking happy. _

_ “I don't know if that's a fuckin’ compliment or not,” he said, shaking his head. _

_ “It is. For someone that hates touching people, you give good hugs. If you deny me them, I just might cry,” she said with a toothy grin. He didn't know what to make of that, she like hugging him? Well shit, if that wasn't weird. His chest felt warm and he felt his ears burning a little as his lips tugged into his little half-smile, unable to stop himself. _

_ “Don't wanna deal with ya cryin’ again, was bad enough when ya cried yesterday,” he snorted, making her glare at him and swat his chest. _

_ “That's not fair! That book was really emotional!” she protested with a pout, her plump lower lip jutting out, making his eyes go to it.  _

_ “Uh-huh…” he smirked, a small laugh leaving his lips when she shoved him. He didn't move an inch though, she was a tiny little thing. It was nice being with her like this. Being able to just be himself, enjoying her company. Fuck, she had just complimented him...again. He wasn't really sure what was going on but he liked it. He always felt good being around her, he always had, but this was different now. He was with her all day every day, getting his fill of her and then some. He was the luckiest bastard alive to be the one stuck with her and he was grateful for Merle being a persistent asshole the day they went to the store and found her. _

~

Daryl clutched the rabbit's foot as he lay down, her shirt in his other hand. He curled up on his side, letting her scent envelop him as he closed his eyes. Maybe he could just pretend she was sleeping soundly next to him just for the night. Maybe he could pretend he hadn't failed her and she was still there with him. Having her scent surrounding him like that, his eyes drifted shut, putting himself in another world. One where the dead weren’t walking the earth eating people, one where Charlene was very much alive and well. One where he wouldn’t fail her and he would do her proud, being the man she always seemed to think he was. 


	24. Chapter 24

  
  


**A quick word about something we haven't talked about yet...the age gap :’) So okay, again we don’t know Daryl's exact age and stuff and I’m just making shit up to fit my story better. I was honestly surprised by how old Norman was when I first watched the show ‘cause he looks younger than he is. So for this, Daryl's age is 31, don’t like it, tough looool. I don't think its that far off given this is like just before the show and really, who fucking cares, it's just a number. I’m explaining this now so people get an idea so you aren't left confused. Charlene is 20, I mentioned that in the very first chapter for those who might have forgotten. That means he is 11 years older, yes I can do math when I feel like it XD**

**I’m mentioning this now because of a flashback in this one and I don't want people getting all confused and shit, all will make sense when you read it now. There is an age gap, but I mean there is in near enough every Daryl story and plus, they're both adults so, doesn't really matter, does it? I did toy with the idea of making her older not long after I started posting this fic, but I’m way too lazy to go back and edit my fucking story and loads of you have already read it and I don't want to confuse people, so I’m rolling with it.**

**So to put it simply; she is currently 20. The flashback in this is when she was 17. She started working at 18 and that's when Daryl noticed her.**

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The definition of hunger is; ‘a feeling of discomfort or weakness caused by lack of food, coupled with the desire to eat.’ The definition of starving is; ‘suffering or dying from hunger.’ Charlene had often said she was starving, making off hand remarks before the world went down the crapper. When she had to work a little into her lunch break, if she got home late, if her food was taking too long to cook. But in reality, she was never really starving. She never knew the level of suffering starving brought with it. She had been lucky enough to always have at least some food to put in her belly. Until now that was. She didn’t know how long it had been since she lost the boys. Days and nights all blurred together as she just tried to push through and not keel over. She had lost her pack so her food was non-existent. 

When Daryl told her to run to the truck, she did. Well, she ran at least, maybe not so much to the truck. She didn't know which way was what and she just kept running through the trees. A biter had grabbed her pack, and in a desperate panic, she swung her tomahawk blindly behind her, slitting its throat and causing blood to spurt everywhere. She managed to wriggle her pack from her shoulders and run. The truck never came though. She never seemed to leave the fucking woods, she couldn't find her way out for days. She had stupidly hoped Daryl could track her, climbing up into a tree to wait safely. But he never came. When she did eventually find the road again, she walked down it for miles with no sign of the truck and that's when it dawned on her. They had left her. It had left a gaping hole in her chest but she didn't really blame them. What were they supposed to think? She wasn't there and she knew they would have looked for her. She didn't doubt for a second they wouldn't have at least tried. But it became clear they had given up their search and left, and now she was all alone.

The fear was crippling, with only two biter kills under her belt and no food or way to get any, she knew she wouldn't last long out here. But she refused to just give up, to just lay down and die without putting up a fight. It wasn't in her to do that and she wanted to make the boys proud of her. The one thing she did have on her was the spare map in her back pocket. They had taken a few spares just in case anything happened and they needed another and now she was glad. If they had left, they would have set out to Atlanta like they planned. She wondered idly if she headed that way she might one day find them again. The chances were slim, they had a truck and she was on foot. By the time she would get there they could have moved on and been anywhere. But she wanted to at least try. It was time she got her big girl panties on and dealt with it. No more cowering behind Daryl or Merle, this was it now. This was exactly what they had been training her for.

The number of days she had walked was unclear but she knew it had been a lot, at least over a week. She had scavenged some supplies from a cabin she came across, thankful it was empty. She didn't think she was quite ready to clear a place herself yet. She had a couple of bottles of water, one tin and some other things, like some rope. The food didn't do much to help her burning stomach but it was enough to help her push on. In the nights she would climb a tree and sleep up there, tying herself with the rope so she didn’t fall. But now her food was gone, she only had a little water left. Her body was growing weak and tired, it was hard just to walk now. She had avoided the biters as best she could, killing them when necessary. It still always made her feel sick when she had to do it, but it was them or her. And since they were technically dead anyway, she had to convince herself she hadn't done anything wrong. There weren't many of the dead here though and it made her worried, if they weren't here, then where the hell were they?

She was sat up in a tree, her body aching fiercely as her stomach growled. She was watching the store just across the road from the tree line. She really wanted to go in, see if there was any food. Her hunger was pushing her to the point of desperation now, she felt like she was losing grip on reality just a little. Every second of the day she thought about Daryl and Merle, wondered if they were okay, what they were doing. She wasn't so much worried for their safety. She knew they were more than capable of looking after themselves in the new world, but she missed them like hell. She had tried to be hopeful, that maybe when she got to Atlanta she would find them. But as the days wore on, she realised she was being hopeful for nothing. That she needed to leave her old self behind because as Daryl once told her,  _ ‘hope gets ya nowhere’.  _

Thinking of Daryl made her heart seize up inside of her ribcage and she grit her teeth, hoping the pain would pass. She had the biggest fucking crush on him ever since she first saw him, but back then, she was much too young for him. He hadn't even noticed her until she started working. Even then, despite the fact he was there all of the time, she knew he wouldn't ever look at her like that. Why would he? Daryl with his broad ass shoulder and beefy arms, his handsome face that somehow looked boyish when he felt awkward. She remembered the very first time she ever laid eyes on him, she tried to let it comfort her instead of the pain she was feeling.

~

_ Charlene munched on a donut as she walked home, her best friend Anna chatting away beside her. She was gossiping, it was what Anna did, but Charlene was never into that really. The 17-year-old was on her way to Anna’s house, she was staying the night. Her mother was sick again, the cancer was back. Her dad had sent her off to stay with Anna for a few days whilst her mother went into the hospital, it didn't look good and Charlene tried not to think about it. She had to have hope. Her mother beat the illness last time, she would again this time. As they approached Anna's house, they saw her brother Billy and some other guy stood outside, tinkering with a bike. _

_ “Who’s that?” Charlene asked, letting her teenage eyes roam all over the sexy piece of ass. Her best friend snorted a laugh at her and shook her head. For a preachers daughter, Charlene was nothing but a perv. _

_ “That's Daryl. Daryl Dixon,” Anna muttered quietly, even though the boys couldn't hear her since they were still down the road, walking up to the house. Charlene's eyes widened a little. She had heard a lot about the Dixon brothers, mainly Merle if she was honest, but she hadn’t expected Daryl to be so... _ **_fine as hell? Sex on legs? The very definition of manly? I can’t even decide…_ **

_ The rumours around town were that these men were the worst of the worst. They were the kind of men you would cross the street to avoid, but Charlene knew better. Annas brother Billy was good friends with Daryl and she had heard a lot of things from her best friend about the brothers, things that made you think about why they were the way they were. Her father actually had a soft spot for Daryl. She had heard him talking to her mother about the youngest Dixon once. Her mother had come home, Charlene had only been young then and she had no idea how old Daryl was at the time, no older than 21, but her mother was gossiping as usual, since the people in this town had nothing better to do. Merle had been arrested again and her mother was ranting about the Dixon family. She had eavesdropped, sitting on the stairs as her father told her mother that Daryl was different. He wasn't like his dad or his older brother, how he was trying to get a job but no one would hire him because of his last name. That summer, her dad hired Daryl to work in their garden, helping him build a large shed. She never saw him though, the 10-year-old was too busy out with her friends playing. _

_ Charlene chewed her lower lip as they finally approached, casting her eyes on the man fixing the bike.  _

_ “Hey, Billy! Daryl!” Anna beamed at them, clearly well acquainted with the Dixon man.  _

_ “Hey you two, how was school?” Billy asked with a smile. Charlene liked Billy, he was always nice to her, kind of like the big brother she never asked for.  _

_ “Shit, as usual. Your sister doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut,” Charlene smirked, laughing when Anna glared at her playfully and tugged on one of her french braids. She heard Daryl snort a little from where he was crouched next to the bike and it sent butterflies swarming in her belly. Her cheeks flushed and her best friend gave her a knowing look, but before she could open her big trap and embarrass her, Charlene grabbed her wrist and yanked her inside of the house. _

_ “Oh my god, you have a thing for Daryl Dixon!” Anna squealed with a grin when they got inside. Charlene groaned and covered her face, Anna knew her too well, there was no point in denying it. _

_ “Shut upppp!” she whined, walking into the kitchen and helping herself to a glass of water. It was like her second home here, she had been best friends with Anna since a small child. Every day after that, her best friend would always tease her for it in jest, and Anna always made sure to gush about her best friend whenever a certain Dixon was visiting her brother. _

_ ~ _

She sighed feeling weary, she needed food. Daryl hadn’t taught her shit just for her to give up now. She wouldn't see him again, she knew better now, but the least she could do was take the tools he taught her and use them. How disappointed would he be if she just gave up? Very, she could just imagine him glaring at her as his voice pinged around in her head. 

_ ‘C’mon Peaches, ya just gonna give up? Get yer ass in that store and get somethin’.’ _

“I can’t Daryl, if there's biters in there, I don't think I’m strong enough to fend them off,” she whispered, clearly losing her mind just a little that she was talking to herself. She shook her head, frowning as she climbed out of the tree, tomahawk at the ready. As usual, the dead seemed non-existent as she carefully walked to the store. She swallowed thickly as she peeped inside, listening carefully. There were no sounds though and she walked inside, furrowing her brow. It really unsettled her, the lack of dead here. 

She got to work though, she fucking needed this. There were some tins and snacks and she ripped open a packet of potato chips, stuffing them in her mouth greedily. She put the rest in her pack until it was full and then she slung it around her small shoulders. She had been a little small before all this but now she felt like a bag of bones. The time away from the brothers had left her badly malnourished and she missed having them take care of her, keeping her well fed. Daryl never let her go hungry. The door opened behind her and she squeaked in surprise, whirling around and holding her weapon out. She squinted, coming face to face with an Asian boy who was currently staring at her with wide eyes. 

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” he muttered, hands up in surrender as his eyes flit from her wild-looking face to her tomahawk. 

Her heart was thumping wildly as she assessed him. He didn't look much older than her and he looked scared. She knew she should lower her weapon but something was stopping her, that something was a voice in her head.

_ ‘Don’t let ya guard down for a second, words don’t mean a thing. Didn't before the world when to shit, sure as fuck don’t now.’ _

Daryl's voice made her blink a little, shaking her head as if to clear it. Despite the food she had just eaten, her body was still suffering from the brutal punishment it had been through and her head was feeling fuzzy.

“I-I’m Glenn,” the guy said shakily, looking at her cautiously. It was obvious she wasn't really in the best way. Her clothes were hanging off her body, and her cheeks were gaunt, blue rings around her eyes. It felt like there was an internal battle inside of her. She wanted to trust him, but Daryl's voice was swimming in her mind. 

After staring at him for a moment, she finally lowered the tomahawk, more out of the fact her arm was aching than anything else. She just didn't have it in her anymore.

“I’m Charlene,” she said softly, still watching him warily. He nodded, the movement jerky, still a little spooked from her holding her weapon at him like she had.

“I have a group, we’re up by the quarry. We have food, safety in numbers,” he said quietly. She could see him taking her in with his eyes but it wasn't a lingering gaze. She wasn't anything to look at anymore anyway. She knew she looked a wreck. Her long hair was in a knotted bun on her head and her skin was covered in mud, dirt and dried blood. She was a mess. She shook her head with a frown, taking a step back.

“No thanks,” she mumbled tensely. What he offered appealed to her greatly, especially with how desperate she was getting. But people were different now, and if the time in the cabin taught her anything, it was that they shouldn't be trusted.

“We won't hurt you. We have women, kids even. The only people you have to be wary about are the Dixon brothers, but they won't hurt you. They’re just a little mouthy,” he snorted a little, toying with the cap he had taken off and held in his hands. Her eyes widened then and snapped up to his. Was her mind playing tricks on her again because this shit wasn't funny anymore.

“What did you just say?” she asked, maybe a little harsher than expected since he looked scared and took a wary step back.

“I-I don’t...the women and kids or the Dixon thing?” he stammered nervously. She lowered her gaze, swallowing thickly as her heart ached. They were here? Had she really found them? What were the fucking chances of that? She found it hard to believe it was really them but how else would he know of them or the fact they were mouthy little shits, it had to be them.

“Wait a minute, do you know them?” Glenn asked, perceptive as ever as he looked at her reaction. She nodded, her eyes welling with tears as she sniffled and tried to get a hold of herself.

“I lost them. I don't even know how long it’s been but I got lost and then they were just...gone,” she frowned, wiping her eyes. Glenn blinked at her, it was hard to imagine this girl hanging around with the Dixon’s but then again, the dead were up and walking so weirder things had happened.

“They came to the group about two weeks ago. They hunt for us but mostly they just keep to themselves. Except for Merle, he’s a bit of an asshole most of the time. I’m pretty sure he's using something,” Glenn muttered with a frown. Charlene looked at him and the look of pure anguish on her face made his own heart hurt. She frowned deeply, shaking her head. He was using again? She felt so disappointed, he had done so well, made such an effort. She had no idea that thinking she was dead was what caused him to relapse.

“Will you take me? To the group?” she asked, looking hopeful as she wiped her eyes again. Glenn couldn't help but think she looked a loss less of a threat now her weapon wasn't drawn, her big eyes looking all sad. 

“Yeah, let me just grab some stuff. I’m the one who goes on runs, I know the area pretty well,” he smiled at her. She found herself smiling back for the first time since she had gotten lost. The hope she always used to have, the hope that she had lost, it started burning again inside of her soul and her heart skipped a beat. They were safe and fine, weirdly enough in a group. She couldn't imagine them joining a group and it made her feel weird like there was something going on. She knew the brothers well enough to know they would have opted to stay by themselves. They didn't need safety in numbers when they had each other. Even still, she was going to see them again. She wondered how they would react. Her smile faltered as a venomous thought made its way inside of her brain. What if they left her willingly? What if they hadn't looked at all, taking the first chance they got to get rid of her? She tried to ignore it, she felt like she knew them enough to know they liked her somewhat. They had both took the time to train her with things and they both took care of her. Surely if they wanted rid of her, the gruff men would have just tossed her ass from the truck anyway. 

She was giving herself a headache as she stood there, waiting for Glenn to be done so they could go back to his camp. She rubbed her temples, glancing around anxiously until he appeared by her side once again.

“Ready?” he asked with a smile. She nodded as she adjusted her pack on her shoulder as they left the store. She tried to ignore the nerves at seeing them again, the possibility they might not want to see her. If they didn't want to see her then she would just stay out of their way when she got there. At least she would know they were okay with her own eyes. It would kill her, but she wouldn't blame them. She had surprised herself that she had survived this long on her own but the whole time had been a struggle and she was suffering. It was nothing like the life she had with them both. She was weak, they knew she was weak. Why the fuck would they want her ass to come back to them to burden them once more? She didn't know if it was the lack of food and water or the lack of sleep, something was making her mood spiral. She tried to ignore it, listening to Glenn just talk about the people at camp as they walked, preparing her for who she was about to meet. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Some feels for you all :’)**

**This may not be what you all had in mind, but I wanted to keep things in character here so…**

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Overwhelmed, that was one word Charlene would use to describe how she felt. As soon as she stepped foot in Glenn's camp, everyone seemed to swarm her. Wanting to know the new girl. She didn’t care though. All she wanted was to see Daryl and Merle, but as her eyes scanned the area, they were nowhere to be found. Her heart sank in her chest but she knew they had to be around, how else would Glenn have known them?

“Well butter my ass and call me a biscuit!” she knew the voice right away and when she whipped around, she came face to face with an astonished looking Merle. She blinked at him for a moment, her eyes filling with tears at seeing him again. He opened his arms out, a wide grin spreading onto his face. She ran to him, wrapping her arms around his middle as she hugged the shit out of him, trying to make sure he was really there.

“Tiny, how the fuck did ya get out of there alive?” he asked sounding bewildered as she moved away. She gave him a watery smile and wiped her eyes.

“You two taught me well,” she shrugged, making him bark out a laugh.

The rest of the group watched on cautiously. They didn't know how to feel about the new girl if she was on good terms with Merle, the menace of the camp. Merle smiled down at her, shaking his head as he chuckled.

“Daryl's gonna shit a brick when he sees ya. We thought ya were dead. We went back and all we found was ya pack covered in blood,” he explained with a frown.

“I got away, I had to leave it behind. I didn't think I’d see you again,” she admitted, her lower lip quivering a little. Being here with him made her chest feel tight. She had missed them both more than she could ever say. He pulled her in for another hug as he grinned, squeezing her a little but she didn't mind.

“Daryl's in his tent over there, ya should go see him. He's been in a bad way, ain't gonna lie. He took it real hard, thinkin’ ya’d died,” he muttered, keeping his voice down so the nosey bastards listening didn't hear him. Wasn't any of their damn business. Charlene looked at him somewhat confused, she didn't understand why he would be so bothered. But then again, he did care on some level since he had been helping her, of course he would be upset if she died. 

“Are you coming?” she asked, glancing over to the tent that Merle had just gestured to.

“Nah, I think it's best ya have ya little reunion alone,” he grinned, making her nod. She ignored the others looking at her, it made her not like them right off the bat with how nosey they were being. She didn't know why the brothers were even here with them. She walked over to the tent that was set up further away than the others, crouching as she unzipped it. She climbed in, zipping it back up. When she looked at him, she couldn't help but smile. He was sleeping curled on his side, soft snore leaving his lips. The man was perfect in every sense of the word and he didn't even know it. The relief that flooded her was overwhelming, being here with him once more. She crawled over next to him, frowning when she looked at what he was holding. He was clutching her shirt in one hand, the rabbit's foot he had given her in the other. 

She was confused again. Had he really been that upset by it all? That he was sleeping with her shirt? It made her stomach feel funny as she reached out, brushing some of his hair softly.

“Daryl,” she whispered, not wanting to startle him. He frowned in his sleep and shook his head, mumbling something unintelligible.

“Daryl,” she said, a little more firmly this time. His blue eyes fluttered open and when they landed on her, they widened. He shot up and scooted away, looking like he’d seen a ghost. 

"The fuck?!" he yelped, the colour draining from his face. She frowned, it took her a moment to remember he thought she was dead. This  _ would _ be unsettling for him.

“Hi,” she said, giving him a toothy grin. He shook his head violently, rubbing at his eyes.

“Nah, this ain't happenin’ right now,” he mumbled, looking around frantically like he needed a way to escape, chest heaving.

“It is, it's me,” she snorted, shrugging lightly, hoping he would see she was actually there.

“It ain’t, ya fuckin’ dead. Merle must of slipped somethin’ in my drink or some shit,” he grumbled, eyeing her warily as he swallowed thickly. 

She heaved a sigh and moved closer but he scooted back again with wide eyes.

“Daryl, it's really me, I made it out. I’ve been on my own and then Glenn found me,” she said softly with a frown. This isn't really how she expected it to go. It was a little unsettling at how he was so convinced she was in his head. She reached her hand out slowly. He stared at it then looked back at her face, still looking somewhat in shock and apprehensive, distrustful. His hand reached out tentatively, a slight tremor it in. But when he grasped her hand his heart exploded, realising she was in fact there and it wasn't his mind playing tricks on him. His chest felt extremely tight. The grief he had tried to stuff down bubbling to the surface. He had lost her, but she was here, she had made her way back to him. A choked sob left his lips and he tugged her hand, making her crawl over to him practically on his lap. She was shocked when he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into her hair. She knew it would have jarred him a little, thinking she was dead, but she hadn't expected him to be this upset and she felt her own tears forming. She wrapped her arms around him, stroking his hair soothingly as he sobbed pitifully into her hair.

She would never be able to vocalize how much she missed him and being with him now, having his arms around her, she felt like she was back where she belonged.

“Its okay Daryl, I’m here,” she soothed gently, her fingers massaging his scalp.

“I ...I thought…” he couldn't even get his words out through his sobs. Not able to care that he was making a fool out of himself because she was there. He had really thought he wouldn't ever see her again, never hear her voice, see her smile. And now she was once again there with him and he’d never felt so fucking relieved.

“I know, Merle told me. But I’m fine,” she whispered, a lump in her own throat forming at how sad he was. It was hard seeing him cry like this. He moved away a little, cupping her face as he scanned it like he was still checking she was real and she gave him a watery smile. A tear fell down her cheek as she looked at him. He looked like a lost boy and it hurt her heart, tears were streaming down his boyish face. His thumb wiped one of her tears away and she leant forward, leaning her forehead on his. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, relishing in the closeness they were sharing. One of his hands dropping to her hip as the other stayed on her cheek. He was greedily soaking her in. Trying to ease all his pain and suffering from when he had thought she was dead. He never wanted to let her go.

“M’sorry,” he choked out, clenching his jaw as he shook his head lightly, the movement moving her head too since it was leaning on his.

“For what?” she asked confused, lifting her head to look at him. He opened his glassy eyes looking pained before looking away from her.

“I fuckin’...I failed ya, again. I told ya to run and…” He lamented, shaking his head looking so angry at himself. He could feel how skinny she had gotten and it worried him. She looked paler than usual and sickly and it was all because of him. She might not have died but it was clear she had suffered.

“It's not your fault Daryl, I’m the one who ran the wrong way,” she said, tilting his chin so he had to look at her. 

“It’s  _ my _ job to keep ya safe, and I just sent ya off,” he frowned, she could feel his anger rising and she knew it wasn't directed at her. Merle had said he had taken it hard but it was clear now he had shouldered the blame, just like he always did. 

“Look at me,” she said firmly, her tone shocking him just a little. His eyes snapped to hers, getting lost in the green eyes he never thought he'd see again.

“You did what you had to do. You needed to get Merle out of there. It's not your fault. I’m here and I’m alive. That's what matters,” she insisted. He still wasn't convinced. No matter what she said he knew it was his fault. But this was his shot at redemption now. She had come back to him somehow, against all the odds she was here. And now he had a chance to make it right. He couldn't fail her again, it wasn't an option. She toyed with the hair at the base of his skull and then he really noticed how close they were. She was in his lap stroking his hair and he swallowed thickly. Now the shock of the moment had worn off, he suddenly felt very vulnerable and a little awkward. 

She looked down at him and gave him a sweet smile, the same sweet smile she had been giving him for years that always made his insides turn into mush. He wanted to lean up and kiss her. He wanted to taste her lips for the first time and just soak her in. When he thought she was dead, he knew he should have told her how he felt. He should have done something. But now, here she was in his lap, her face so close to his and he couldn't bring himself to fucking make a move. She was just blinking those pretty eyes at him and she leant down a little but was halted by Merle outside the tent.

“Knock knock love birds, it safe to come in?” he called out. Daryl just stared at the entrance to the tent.  _ She just leant in, the fuck was that? Was she gonna kiss me? Of course she ain’t gonna kiss me, why the fuck would she? Probably my damn mind playin’ trick on me.  _ The tent unzipped and Merle climbed in, a smirk spreading on his face when he saw Charlene in Daryl's lap. The pair of them blushed and Daryl looked down, looking like a child that had been caught getting up to mischief. 

Charlene moved off him and it left him feeling cold and empty. He wanted to punch his brother right then for interrupting them. He had no clue what that was about. It looked like she was gonna kiss him but he knew better. It wasn't even possible that she was gonna do that. But he’d never fucking know now because Merle was here with his shit-eating grin.

“What ya want Merle?” Daryl asked roughly as he wiped at his eyes, earning a quirked brow from his brother.

“I missed her too ya dumb shit, ain’t havin’ ya hoggin’ her all to yaself,” he snorted. Charlene shook her head with a wry smile, swatting Merle on the arm. It felt good to be back with them again, she felt like she belonged with them. The rest of the group though…

“So, you wanna tell me why you're here? I know you both don’t like people and something seems off,” she asked bluntly, her eyes on Merle since whatever it was would be his doing after all. Daryl lowered his head, his cheeks heating up. It had been one thing going along with Merles plan when he thought she wasn’t alive, that she would never know. But now she was here and he knew they were about to get an ear-bashing if she found out.

“Aw c’mon now sugar, don’t look at me like that. Ol’ Merles reformed now,” he smirked at her, but she just narrowed her eyes.

“Don't lie Merle, I know you're using again. I don't know what the fuck happened but we need to fix that again,” she huffed. The brothers looked at her before each other, looking confused.

“Ya don't know what happened? We thought ya were  _ dead _ Tiny,” Merle said carefully. She looked at him and tilted her head not getting why he was mentioning it and then it dawned on her. He started using again because he was upset by her death? Had she really underestimated how much these two cared about her that much? The look of confusion was all over her face and Daryl scoffed and shook his head.

“We told ya Charlene, ya family now. Ya really think we ain't gonna give a shit if we think ya dead?” He asked, looking almost offended that she thought they thought that little of her. She looked down, her cheeks flushing a little at him calling her out like that. 

“Look, it’s all fine and good now. Me and Daryl had a few slip-ups, acted like assholes. Didn't think we had a reason to be good no more since ya weren't here bustin’ our balls. But yer here now and we’ll fix it, alright?” Merle looked at her firmly, making her look up at him. He looked sincere and she was glad he meant it. She didn't know how to feel about the pair of them caring so much. Sure she cared about them, if either of them died it would kill her. But she hadn't thought the stoic hunters would ever care on that level for her. They had told her she was family before, but words were one thing and this was another, to see just how upset they had been.


	26. Chapter 26

**A long one for you lovely humans. I considered splitting this into two chapters, but I couldn't find a good spot to do it. I know as a reader I prefer longer chapters. It gives me something to really sink my teeth into. But as a writer, sometimes it hard to stretch a chapter too long. Sometimes it just feels right to end it and move on to the next. So sorry if my inconsistent chapter lengths annoy people, I can't help it looool**

  
  


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Daryl was sat in his tent watching Charlene sleep peacefully. She had been back now for a few hours but neither of them had left the tent. After Merle had come in, interrupting fuck knows what, Charlene had told them both everything that happened after she got lost. After that, she looked worn out so Daryl had demanded she lay down. She did and fell asleep within seconds. Merle left after that and Daryl had just sat here staring at her. He couldn't believe she was actually here. He couldn't believe that for once he had some good fucking luck. He had not taken his eyes off her for a second, like he was scared she might dematerialise if he did. It just felt so foreign to him, that something went his way. He had been convinced that was it, but it wasn't. She was back here with him and Merle and he couldn't find the words for how grateful he was. Now she was sleeping peacefully he could really look at her. He hated how unwell she looked, knowing she had struggled and he wasn't there to help her. He tried to remind himself of her words just hours earlier. She didn't blame him. He blamed himself though but he was trying to stuff it down. She was here and fine and that's what mattered.

He kept thinking about what might have happened if his brother hadn't come in. She leant down, almost like she might kiss him. His brain couldn't seem to wrap his head around it, because he knew she would never kiss him in a million years. It annoyed him to no end that Merle had to interrupt them, so now he was left wondering and confused. Maybe she was just gonna lean her head on his again like she had done earlier. He liked being that close to her. He knew emotions were high in the moment, it was the only reason why he had grabbed her and pulled her on his lap. He’d never be able to pull that shit otherwise. But he had been so desperate to make sure she was real, that she wasn't just a ghost in his mind coming to torture him. He hated being in his own head, wondering what might have happened. He knew what he wanted to happen but it was just a fantasy, it would never be a reality for him.

He glanced to the side, noticing her shirt and the rabbit's foot. His face flushed a little realising the girl had seen him clutching them both.  _ Prolly thinks I’m a fuckin’ pussy now.  _ His stomach was growling, it had been for hours. But he hadn't been able to drag himself away from her. But after the billionth time, the painful rumble in his belly won out. She was safe here anyway, sleeping soundly in his tent. He got out of the tent, making sure to zip it back up before walking over to the RV. They kept most of the food in here and he hated how he had to walk through people to get any. Before he could even get there Shane was stood in front of him with a stern face and Daryl clenched his jaw. He didn't like Shane one bit. It wasn't just the fact he was a cop. Daryl never liked cops much anyway, they always tried to pin shit on him just because he was a Dixon. But that wasn't his issue. The guy was a fucking asshole and he hated the way he looked at him and his brother, like he knew he was better than them. There was something off about him. Daryl couldn't put his finger on it but he didn't like it.

“What ya want?” Daryl asked roughly, glaring at him. He wasn't in the mood for this bullshit.

“We think you should wake Charlene up. We haven't really had the chance to introduce ourselves properly,” Shane had this look on his face. A condescending look that made Daryl want to throttle his damn neck.

“Nah, she’s stayin’ put and no one's gonna fuckin’ bother her,” Dary sneered, going to take a step around him. Shane sidestepped him though and Daryl clenched his fists by his side.

“We just wanna talk to her man,” Shane shrugged, looking like he thought he had a say in this.

“Think ya talked enough when she fuckin’ got here and ya’ll ambushed her,” Daryl scoffed, shaking his head. 

“We got kids here, we need to know if we can trust her. So you need to wake her up for me,” the policeman in him was seeping out and Daryl wanted so badly to kick him in the face.

“I ain't gotta do shit. We trust her, that's enough,” he growled, glowering at him. Shane snorted, looking more than amused.

“Oh right, because we should take the word of you and your junkie brother?” he asked with a smirk. Daryl stood a little straighter, scowling at him.

“Yeah. Or we can go somewhere else and ya can see how long ya fuckin’ survive without the redneck trash catchin’ ya food,” Daryl snarled, his voice low, menacing almost. Shane squared up to him a little and Daryl never wavered as he glared him down.

After a tense minute, Shane scoffed, moving away as he shook his head and walked away.  _ Yeah, fuckin’ walk away ya piece of shit pig.  _ Daryl went back to the task at hand, going into the RV and grabbing a random can. He heard Merle before he saw him, he would recognise his brother's footfalls no matter what.

“What’s deputy dipshit want?” he drawled with a snort, standing next to him. Daryl glanced at him and shrugged.

“Wants me to wake Charlene up so they could fuckin' prod at her,” he huffed, stabbing his knife into the can and opening it.

“What ya say?” Merle asked curiously, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Told him it ain't gonna happen and if he don't like it we can leave. See how long they last without us gettin’ their food,” he replied. Merle barked out a laugh and clapped Daryl on the back, making him flinch a little.

“Shit son, I’m proud of ya,” Merle laughed. Daryl didn't know how he felt about that. Merle’s approval had been something he had been desperately seeking since a young boy. But if he was proud of him for being an asshole then he knew it wasn't a good thing.

“How’s she doin’?” Merle piped up after a moment of silence as Daryl ate. Daryl heaved a weary sigh and tossed the can in the small trash can before he turned fully to look at his brother

“She don’t look well. Skinny as fuck, worn out,” he said tensely, making Merle nod.

“She’s been through a lot without us there to help her. But she's alive,” Merle said firmly. Daryl lowered his gaze, chewing his thumb and Merle squinted at him.

“Don't make me hit ya, boy. I know its still botherin’ ya. It’ll take some time to get used to the fact shes here again. But it ain't yer damn fault,” Merle scolded. Daryl scoffed bitterly, meeting his eyes.

“Is my fault. I told her to run and she got fuckin’ lost. Now shes half-starved and exhausted,” he huffed, scowling at him.

“Ya blame yaself. I get it. I blame myself too. If I hadn't let my guard down for a second I wouldn’t have got knocked out by that damn biter. We can both blame ourselves brother but it don't change a damn thing. She's here. She's fine. We get some food in her belly and get her to rest up, she’ll be as good as new in no time,” he insisted. Daryl looked down again before nodding. He was right, it wouldn't change a damn thing dwelling on it. He still blamed himself but he needed to move past it. 

Merle left to do God knows what. His brother always seemed to just disappear and Daryl didn't know if he wasn't sneaking off to use or if he was just terrorising people here like usual. He couldn't bring himself to care too much. He wanted to get back in case Charlene woke up. He left the RV and when he glanced at the tent, he saw Lori loitering around it looking nervous. He stomped over, so done with people and their bullshit.

“Don’t y’all ever get tired of bein’ annoyin’?” he scoffed, making her glance up to him. She looked wary and Daryl stood up taller. He knew he was being intimidating but that was the point. These assholes needed to leave his girl the fuck alone.

“I just wanted to talk to her, I have some spare clothes if she needs them,” Lori said softly, shrinking back a little when Daryl took a step forward.

“Then come back when she ain’t sleepin’ and not a second before,” he growled, unzipping the tent and getting inside. He zipped it back up and heaved a sigh as he sat down. 

Being in a group was going to be taxing, sharing her attention with all the others. He didn't like it one bit. He watched her as she stirred in her sleep, and she yawned a little. Her eyes snapped open and she looked around frantically, but when her eyes landed on him he saw her relax infinity and snuggle back into his blanket. He knew it would take some adjusting for her too. She had told him how she had been sleeping up in the trees to stay safe. He was proud of her. She had survived two weeks without him and she did fucking good. 

“Sleep alright?” he rasped, making a sleepy smile grace her pretty little face.

“I did. It’s nice to feel safe again,” she muttered, rubbing her eyes as she sat up. His heart constricted. He would never get used to the fact she felt so safe around him. It made his chest swell with pride and he tried to ignore it. 

A few hours later and Daryl found himself brooding just outside of his tent. He was working on a trail snare, hopefully they would grab some rabbits at some point. As soon as they had stepped foot out of the tent, Lori had ushered the girl away from him and since then he hadn't been able to talk to her. He had no desire to go over as she spoke to Carol and Lori, he just sat outside of his tent with a scowl etched on his face. He was engrossed in his task, trying to ignore the burning jealousy that was scorching his veins from the inside out.

“Daryl?” his head snapped up when he heard her timid voice, looking up at Charlene as she stood there looking somewhat awkward. He squinted a little, not sure why she was acting that way.

“S’wrong?” he asked gruffly, thinking the worst as he always did. He noticed then she had a bundle of clean clothes in her arms, some shampoo and a brush lay on top of them.

“I wanted to wash in the quarry, but I don't wanna go alone,” she said softly. He tilted his head and quirked a brow at her.

“Alright…?” he asked slowly, clearly not getting why she was telling him this. Shouldn't Lori or Amy or someone go with her? He just blinked up at her for a moment and she looked down, her cheeks flushing and it only confused him further.

“Will you come with me?” her voice was almost a whisper and he was more than certain he hadn’t heard her right. She wanted him to go with her? Whilst she was naked? Washing herself?

He looked up at her dumbly for what felt like forever until he realised she had in fact asked him that, and now she was stood glaring at the floor with pink cheeks.

“I...uh…” he looked down, feeling the tips of his ears burning as he tried to compose himself.  _ Fuck sake, just do it. Act like a fuckin’ man.  _

“Alright,” he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. She looked at him with a little smile and he swallowed thickly as he stood. He grabbed his bow in case he needed it and lead her down to the quarry. She set the clean clothes on a rock near the water's edge and the shampoo and brush within reach. He stood there, eyes flitting about and when they landed on her, she was looking at him expectantly.

“Are you gonna...you know, turn around?” she asked looking somewhat amused. He turned around, sneering at himself as he cursed inwardly. Just fucking stood there like he expected her to get naked in front of him like that.  _ Fuckin’ idiot.  _

Charlene got undressed, keeping her underwear on because she didn't feel too comfortable with being naked out here like that. She got in the water and Daryl sat on a large rock near the edge, keeping his back to her.

“The waters nice and cool,” Charlene mused as she started scrubbing the dirt and grime from her body. Daryl just grunted and nodded. It was pathetic how much his mind was running away with him. He wasn't even looking at her and he felt like a pervert for just being there. He stayed quiet for a while and then he heard someone walking towards them. He raised his bow on the off chance it was a biter, but instead, Shane came into view. Daryl had to fight himself to put the bow down, glaring at him. 

He didn't fail to notice how Shanes gaze wandered to Charlene in the water and Daryl bristled, sitting up straighter, completely tense. Shane walked over to him, sitting on the rock opposite with a smug look on his face. Daryl didn't want him here, Daryl didn't want him facing the girl while she was trying to fucking clean herself.

“The fuck ya here for? Can't ya see she’s tryin’ to get clean?” Daryl sneered at him. Shane gave him a smirk and raised his brow.

“Could ask you the same thing. Didn't take you for a peeping Tom,” he chuckled. Daryl inhaled a deep breath, resisting the urge to deck him.

“She asked me here,” he growled, anger flashing behind his baby blue eyes. Shane cocked his head a little as a slow smirk spread across his stupid fucking face.

“Is that so? She your girl?” He asked, his tone mocking almost like he knew Daryl wouldn't ever get a girl like her in a million years.

“Yeah, she is. So ya best put ya damn eyes back in ‘fore I scoop ‘em out and fuckin’ feed ‘em to ya,” he snarled. Shane looked almost surprised for a moment before he chuckled. He raised his hands like he was surrendering as he stood up. Daryl glared as Shane took another look at Charlene in the water before he sauntered off.

_ Well shit, how the fuck do I explain that one?  _ The anger was simmering, about to boil over as he tried to breathe through it. Shane was a fucking prick.

“Daryl?” he heard from behind him. She sounded like she was right behind of him now, out of the water. He was about to look when he remembered her lack of clothes and he stilled completely.

“Yeah?” he asked warily.

“Could you help with my hair? It's really bad,” she lamented with a sigh. 

“The fuck I look like, ya damn caretaker?” he snapped, regretting the words as they left his lips. It was the panic in him causing him to lash out. Not only had he told someone they were together and he knew damn well the group liked gossip, now she wanted him to wash her fucking hair. He’d be close to her, whilst she was partially naked. He stood tense, his mouth unable to form an apology because he was a pig-headed asshole and he glared ahead of him.

Charlene pursed her lips, she didn't know why he was being a dick all of a sudden but it sent a rush of anger through her. 

“Maybe I should ask Shane,” she muttered. She wasn't sure why she said that, maybe it was because he had just been there so it was the first person she thought of. It was almost childish but it still left her mouth anyway. She didn't know why but it was clear Daryl didn't like the man for some reason or another. And apparently, Daryl wasn't the only person who liked to push buttons when they got mad. Daryl turned around, scowling at her, her undressed state forgotten as he squinted at her.

“That supposed to be some kinda joke?” he spat, his right eye twitching with annoyance. Why the fuck had she said that? Did she know he was jealous? Because if she did that was fucking awkward. She just looked up at him defiantly and he had to fight to keep his gaze on her face.

“No. I’m just saying, if you don't wanna help me I‘m sure someone else would,” it was like something inside her had snapped a little. She was already aware he would never see her in that way and it irritated her that it was such a big deal for him to help her just because she was partially undressed. Like she was that vile to look at it made him snap at her. 

He glared at her, the image of Shane washing her hair making his brain hurt and he clenched his jaw. But when he really looked at her, he saw just what she meant when she said her hair was bad. It was all knotted and caked in blood and he felt the pang of guilt in his chest. It was his fault that she was this way, he had failed her. The least he could do was swallow his pride and fucking help her out a little. Besides, he had a thing for her hair for the longest time. It would be a shame if she had to cut it.

“Fine, I’ll help,” he relented, looking at her sheepishly.

“You sure? I mean you aren't my caretaker and all,” she huffed, rolling her eyes as she padded back over to the water. Daryl shook his head with a deep sigh. Why did he have to fuck things up all the time? She had been back a few hours and already it was back to the same bullshit. Him lashing out whenever he felt cornered and her thinking he didn't care about her. He toed off his boots, rolling up the legs of his pants to his knees as he followed her. He couldn't help but look at her heart-shaped ass in nothing but panties as she got in the water. He wouldn't forget that anytime soon.

He sat on the edge, his legs in the water and she went over to him, standing between his legs. He grabbed the cup she had brought with her and started to pour water on her hair, her head tilted back. Her hair was a mess and he worked carefully, trying to pull apart some of the matts in her hair. He grabbed the brush and pulled it through some of the knots.

“Ow!” she yelped, turning to look over shoulder at him with a glare. He looked at her sheepishly and bit his lower lip.

“Sorry,” he muttered as she turned back around. He was more careful after that as he tried to brush out some knots, he wasn't used to being so gentle. He alternated between water and the brush for a bit and then he grabbed the shampoo. He wasn't sure who it belonged to but he wasn't sure about it. He didn't want her meadowy scent to be overridden by it. He massaged her scalp with his fingers, relishing the feel of her hair and getting the chance to touch it like this. After a few more washes and brushes, her long hair was once again clean and knot-free.

“There ya go,” he said, still feeling ashamed of himself for his earlier outburst. She turned around in her water to face him and his eyes went to her small breasts without him meaning them to. He caught himself though and brought his eyes back up to her face. She didn't seem to notice since she didn't hit him in the nuts.

“Thanks,” she said, looking somewhat sad. He stayed sat there with her between his legs and he chewed his thumb.

“Look, about before…” he started.

“Let me guess, you didn't mean it?” she snorted bitterly. His heart sank at her words and he furrowed his brow as he looked down at her.  _ See, she’s already gettin’ sick of this bullshit.  _

“I didn't mean it Charlene and ya know I didn't. I fucked up...again,” he bit out, feeling angry with himself.

“I get it Daryl. You don't like looking after me and you certainly don't wanna be stuck with my ugly half-naked ass,” she frowned. Daryl looked at her like she had grown another head. He was about to speak up, to tell her just how wrong she fucking was with every bit of that statement but he was interrupted.

“Room for one more?” Merle grinned. Daryl closed his eyes and groaned, of course Merle had to do this. He noticed how Charlene moved closer to him, hiding herself behind his legs almost. Her breasts were pushed against his thigh and her arm against his crotch. He hoped to fuck his dick didn't decide to wake up with her being pressed against him like this, things would get real fucking awkward if that happened. He was confused why she was so at ease with being in her underwear around him. Even letting him wash her hair, yet she shied away from Merle who she was also close to. Nothing was making sense today.

“The fuck ya want Merle?” Daryl sighed, casting a glance to his brother. Merle had a smug grin on his face and Daryl wanted the ground to swallow him whole. He knew his brother knew how this was affecting him. His brother knew he liked her after all.

“Just comin’ to see how my favourite little lady's doin’,” Merle smirked, plonking himself down on a rock near the pair of them. 

“I’m kind of busy here Merle, and half-naked,” she snorted, her face flushing little as she pressed even closer to Daryl.  _ Dear God, I take back every bad thing I said about ya. Please don't let me get a fuckin’ boner. I’ll do whatever ya want. Fuckin’ go around bible bashin’, baptise people in the fuckin’ quarry. Name it and it's yours, just don't let me get hard.  _

“I noticed that. Seem awful cosy here huh?” Merle smirked. Charlene's eyes widened and she looked down, her cheeks heating up. Did he know she liked Daryl? She couldn't even look at either of them. Daryls felt the heat creep up onto his face as he glared at his brother.

“Keepin’ an eye out. Shane thought it was appropriate to come down here and catch the show,” Daryl spat, his anger resurfacing as he remembered. Merle’s face darkened a little and he pursed his lips,

“Hm...is that so? Might have to have a little word with him,” Merle mused. Daryl smirked inwardly. Merle was just as protective of her it seemed and he actually wanted to see what would happen if Merle had those words with the jackass.

“Guys, shut up okay? Just leave it alone. I know how you talk Merle and it's with your fists. Can we just have no drama for once?” she huffed. 

“Anyone would think ya got a thing for him,” Daryl muttered bitterly. He shocked himself. He had thought about it, but he hadn't meant to fucking say it out loud and make himself sound like a jealous bastard. Merle's grin widened at his words and Charlene glared up at him looking unimpressed.

“What's wrong? Jealous?” she sneered as she moved away a little. Not so bashful about her lack of clothes now she was getting angry. She knew he wasn't jealous, but he was being an asshole so she was being one right back.

“The fuck would I be jealous about?” he growled, standing up and grabbing his boots and his bow. Merle shook his head looking at him incredulously as he started walking away.

“How the fuck did ya ever get laid before all this Darlina?” he snorted. He really didn't understand how bad his brother was at this. He liked her and he was being a dick. Daryl shot him a glare before stomping back off to camp. Leaving Charlene with Merle.

“The fuck is his deal?” she asked angrily, climbing out of the water. Merle looked down, averting his gaze as she grabbed the clean clothes and tugged them on. It was uncomfortable since she was still wet but she was mad and didn't care.

“Don't worry about him sweetcheeks. He doesn’t know his ass from his elbow right now. Think his heads all over the damn place, with ya comin’ back from the dead and all,” Merle muttered, glancing back to where Daryl had been moments before.

“I wasn't dead,” she huffed, finally dressed. She put her hair up in a high ponytail to let it dry and get out of her face. Merle stood then, dusting himself off a little.

“I know. But we thought ya were. I don't think ya get just how bad it was sugar. We really thought ya weren’t comin’ back. Daryl just...shut off. He wasn't there for a while. And when he came back he was just angry. Only ever seen him like that after Ma died,” Merle frowned. He hoped by sharing this with her she might cut his dick of a brother some slack.

She chewed her lower lip a little. She couldn't fathom why Daryl had been so upset but she knew Merle wouldn't lie to her. She knew Daryl had issues. Especially when it came to failing at things. He had said he blamed himself for what happened so in her mind, the only logical explanation for how upset he was, was the fact he had failed again. That was the only reason he could be that upset. 

“I’ll just stay out of his way until he cools off,” she sighed, making her way back to camp with Merle by her side. Merle knew he needed to talk sense into his brother. If he didn't want to admit how he felt, then fine. But he didn't have to keep lashing out at her like this. His damn mood swings were giving them all whiplash and it wasn't fair to her. If he wanted to ignore his feelings he needed to fucking man up and do it right.


	27. Chapter 27

**I think you guys might really like this one ;)**

**I finally picked a face claim for Charlene, if you guys are interested in seeing some picture edits of her and Daryl, hop over to my Tumblr Crossbows-and-Moonshine and have a gander.**

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Daryl was sulking in his tent. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn't bring himself to show his face. He had lashed out at her, said sorry, then acted like a jealous bastard and lashed out again. He hadn't seen her in the hours since. She hadn't made any move to go to him like she usually would and talk to him. It was dinner time now and Daryl didn't have any desire to go out there. She had called him out, right to his face. Asking if he was jealous. Did she fucking know? It was making him want to rip his damn skin off and he couldn't get out of his head. He could hear the faint murmur of conversation as the group sat around the fire eating. The paranoia kicked in then. What if they convinced her she was better off without him and Merle? He knew they had both been assholes in the group and he doubted it would take much convincing for her to not want anything to do with them. Not after his outburst earlier. What if they were telling her all the shit they had done since they got here? Got in her head? The more he sat there the more paranoid and angry he got. 

He opened the tent and got out, stomping over to the fire. His steps slowed though when he saw the group. Charlene was sat next to Merle, the pair having a quiet conversation and not bothering with anyone else. Relief flooded him and seeped into his bones. He didn't know why he was acting like this. Merle caught his eye and gestured with his head to come over. And despite the desperate need to flee, his feet carried him over and he sat on the other side of Charlene. She didn't even look at him and he felt the pit on his stomach growing rapidly. She fucking hated him now, he just knew it. He could hardly blame her. She had been nothing but nice to him since before all this and all he ever did was treat her like shit because he couldn't get his shit together. Merle passed him some rabbit meat and he ate it, keeping his head lowered as he just brooded and wondered why he couldn't do a thing right.

“Shane told me Daryl said you two are together, how did you meet?” Lori piped up with a warm smile. Daryl felt the air leave his lungs as his eyes snapped up. Everyone became quiet like they were eager to know the answer. They probably were since they liked to gossip about bullshit. He swallowed thickly, the meat feeling like it was expanding in his throat as he tried to push it down and he felt Merle’s eyes on him.

“I used to work at a diner. He came in on his lunch break one day and it was love at first sight,” Charlene said, a smile on her face that Daryl knew was fake. He blinked slowly, his brain seeming to be in slow motion as he was trying to process it. She was going along with it. But he had no doubt she would kick his ass later for it. He was just grateful she hadn’t called him out in front of everyone.

“Aw, that's so romantic,” Amy piped up with a wide grin. 

“How long have you been together?” Andrea asked as she looked at them both. Daryl had no idea why people were so interested in his personal life, even if it was a fake one. Like people were so interested in how the asshole hunter of the group had a girl he cared about.

Charlene turned to look at him then, giving him an amused look as she quirked a brow and he raked his teeth over his lower lip. The little shit was making him answer and he was a little confused why she didn't look mad, she looked like she found it funny.

“About two years,” he shrugged, trying to act casual as he lied through his teeth. 

“You always do this, two and _a half_ years,” Charlene huffed, glaring at him as she pretended to be mad at him. Merle snorted next to her and Daryl didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the situation he found himself in. The girl seemed to be having way too much fun watching him squirm.

“I told ya I don't count the first half a year since ya were sleepin’ around,” he said, fighting a smirk as she squinted at him. 

“Well maybe if you satisfied my needs I wouldn't have had to sleep with other people,” she retorted, quirking a brow. The group was watching amused, unaware that all of it was bullshit and Merle was grinning as he ate his food. Daryl felt his cheeks flush as he glared at her and she gave him a toothy grin.

“Aw don't be mad, you’re still my big snuggly bear,” Charlene grinned leaning over and kissing his cheek. It felt like his face fucking exploded with tingles and he tried so hard to ignore the feelings it was giving him from a simple fake kiss. 

“Snuggly bear?” Dale asked amused, glancing to Daryl. He groaned inwardly and lowered his head. Every fucker here was smirking at him and he wanted the ground to open up and eat him alive. _Where's a damn biter when ya need one?_ He should have stayed in his damn tent.

“Mhm, he _loves_ to snuggle, don't you baby?” she asked with a smirk. He pursed his lips a little, looking at her with narrowed eyes.

“Sure do, wild cat,” he said dryly.

“Do we even want to know that one?” Andrea asked with a snort.

“Prolly not, the shit she likes me to do to her in bed…” he smirked, watching as Charlene’s jaw dropped and her cheeks flushed, glaring at him. Merle laughed and choked on his food, smacking himself in the chest as he tried to calm himself.

“Okay! That's enough of this conversation!” Lori chuckled, standing up and ushering Carl away. Daryl just raised a brow at Charlene and she squinted. 

He got up since he had eaten his food and went back to the tent. After Charlene bid Merle goodnight she unzipped it and got inside.

“Oh look, it's my snuggly bear,” she snorted, shaking her head as she sat down and tugged off her boots.

“Bet ya real proud of yaself with that one, makin’ the group think I’m a fuckin' laughin’ stock,” he huffed, glaring at her from where he was sat.

“You're the one that said we were together,” she shrugged.

“Yeah, to make Shane keep his eyes off ya,” he scoffed as he got his sleeping bag ready. Charlene looked to him quizzically.

“What if I wanted his eyes on me?” she questioned, looking at him intently. Daryl clenched his jaw as his eyes snapped up to hers. The thought alone made him feel murderous and it felt like his blood was molten lava running through his veins. Charlene just watched him carefully. Testing the waters almost to see his reaction. If she didn't know any better she would say he was jealous, and that just confused her.

“Ya want that prick?” he scoffed bitterly, glaring daggers at her.

“Not really. Had my eye on someone else for a while now but I’m pretty sure he's not interested,” she muttered. She took her jacket off, feeling Daryl's eyes on her the whole time as she moved over to him. She presumed they were sharing the sleeping bag since they always seemed to sleep next to one another.

Daryl eyed her warily, the fuck had that meant? For a while? The only people she had been with was him and his brother and he had been certain she didn’t like Merle that way with how she acted around him. Charlene glanced at him, noticing his weird look as he didn't say a word. She heaved a sigh, shaking her head. This was useless, she would never get an answer like this out of him and she was sick of tiptoeing around shit. When she got lost, her biggest regret was always not telling him how she felt.

“For fuck sake Daryl it’s _you_!” she huffed, her cheeks flushing bright red at finally saying it out loud. After all these years of admiring him, trying to talk to him, she had finally told him she liked him. She couldn't even look at him, waiting for him to laugh or something as she lay down facing away from him. Daryl sat there staring at her.  _ Did I just hear right?  _ He must have heard wrong, it wasn't possible. 

“I...uh...ya had…” Daryl couldn’t even form a fucking sentence, his brain turning into mush as her words swirled around his brain on repeat. 

She turned over, blinking those pretty green eyes at him as he opened and closed his mouth like a fucking fish.

“I don't expect you to say anything and if it made you awkward I'm sorry. But there it is. I've liked you for fucking years Daryl. I’m not stupid enough to think you'd ever want a girl like me, but I needed to get it off my chest,” she admitted, toying with her hands as her cheeks stayed flaming red. Daryl looked more than confused as he wiped a hand over his face.

“So...just to be clear...ya like me but ya think I ain't ever like ya back?” he asked slowly, sounding so bewildered. She rolled her eyes and sat up to look at him better. This was ridiculous. She shouldn't have said anything, now things would be weird between them. She shouldn’t have opened her big fucking mouth.

“I know you don't Daryl. And it's fine. I made my peace with it a long time ago that you wouldn't like me back that way,” she muttered, glancing up at him through her lashes. She was right in front of him and he swallowed thickly. He didn't really know what the fuck was going on. He must have woken up in some alternate reality or some shit for her to be saying she liked him that way. And he had no idea why she thought he wouldn't like her back. He was willing his mouth to move, to fucking say something. To tell her how he had liked her for years, how he would go to see her at work just so he could see her smile. But nothing was coming out. His brain and his mouth had disconnected and he couldn't make his mouth work. 

Charlene frowned, looking down with a sigh. She knew she had ruined whatever friendship they had built between them. He hadn't said a word and he looked flustered and uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’ll just...I’ll go stay in Merle tent,” she mumbled embarrassed, going to get up.

“What? No! I just…” he clenched his jaw, getting overwhelmingly angry at himself. Why was it so hard to say it out loud? That he liked her back? She watched him warily, unaware of the tense battle in his head. His eyes met hers and she swallowed thickly at the look he gave her, it made her feel so small under his gaze.

“Fuck it,” he muttered, leaning forward and capturing her lips with his. It caught her off guard and she squeaked a little, tensing at the suddenness of it. He felt his heart drop at her reaction and he went to move away. But she grabbed the back of his neck, stilling him so he couldn't pull away. He felt her kiss him back then and his heart was thumping wildly in his chest. He was finally fucking kissing her, finally tasting those sweet full lips. She deepened the kiss a little and he felt a growl rumble low in his throat. His tongue ran along her lower lip, wanting more of her, wanting every damn inch of her fucking mouth. He was pleased when she complied, moving closer to him as he tangled his tongue with hers. 

He pulled her onto his lap, much like he had done earlier and she wound her arms around his neck. He just got lost in her, kissing her breathless until he needed to come up for air. His chest was heaving when he pulled away, looking up at her hesitantly like he expected a smack. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips slightly swollen from his kisses and it was a look that sent a surge of primal satisfaction through his body.

“Well...that was unexpected,” she snorted, looking down bashfully. His lips turned up into a shy smile, now the moment had gone he felt incredibly shy and out of place. She nibbled on her lower lip, making no move to get off his lap and his hands were splayed on her back. She was looking at him with a slightly hooded gaze and he never thought in a million years she would look at  _ him _ like that. She leant down slightly, her lips ghosting his. Butterflies erupted in his stomach, making his breathing hitch a little. He nudged her nose with his and a small smile graced her lips. He closed the distance between them, already needing another taste of her as he claimed her mouth. 

It felt surreal. How many times had he thought about doing this? Too many to count. And each time he would be reminded it would never happen. Yet here he was. The pretty green-eyed girl in his lap making out with him. He couldn't get enough of her as he pulled her closer, greedily kissing her like he needed it to breathe. He pulled away again just for the sheer need to breathe and she rested her forehead on his, closing her eyes.

“So...this means you like me back right?” she asked with a wry grin. He snorted, looking up at her.

“I don't know, maybe ya should kiss me again, help me make my mind up,” he smirked, his southern drawl seeming to be thicker, his voice deeper. It sent a thrill right through her as she looked down at him. She gave him a mischievous grin as she leant down, nipping his lower lip and tugging on it a little. A low groan left his lips as he closed his eyes. Damn girl would be the death of him teasing him like that. He gripped the back of her neck firmly, crashing his lips to hers in a desperate kiss. 

If it was anyone else, he would have had their clothes off and be balls deep inside of them with how horny he was, but he wanted to take things slightly slow with her. He didn't want to rush it. They had only just found out they both liked each other after all and that alone made his head spin. He moved away, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Shit Peaches, we need to stop,” he groaned, looking pained at even having to say those words. She nodded though, she knew he was right. She could have done with a cold shower right about then. She didn't want to go too fast, she didn't think she was quite ready for that yet. She reluctantly moved from his lap as the pair tried to catch their breath. Daryl felt a little awkward now. He didn't know what this really meant. Sure they had kissed but he wasn't sure what the next move was. She smiled shyly at him, laying down, so he decided to follow her lead. He lay on his back and smiled inwardly when she laid her head on his chest. They had slept next to each other a lot, and he had spooned her once or twice without meaning to in his sleep. But now she snuggled into his side willingly, wide awake and knowing what she was doing. His chest felt all weird at the feelings it was giving him. He still couldn't quite wrap his head around what the fuck just happened. His arms came around her, pulling her closer to him as he shut his eyes. He felt like he would wake in the morning and it had all been a dream. There was no way Charlene liked him that way, it was absurd to him. 

“Stop thinking too hard,” she mumbled tiredly into his chest. He snorted lightly and glanced down at her, the tips of his ears turning pink that she just seemed to know. He decided she was right though. He could overthink shit tomorrow. Tonight he would just relish in the feeling of the girl in his arms. The feeling of his lips still tingling from their kisses. Everything else could wait until the next day.

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**Arrrrgh you guys!! You have no idea how eager I was to post this one looool**


	28. Chapter 28

**Angst, flashbacks and determination.**

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The slight chatter of conversation outside of the tent roused Daryl from his peaceful slumber. He went to roll onto his side but a weight was pinning him in place. He opened his eyes confused, only to see Charlene snoring softly with her head on his chest. The memories of the night before flooded him and his stomach flipped around on him. Remembering how her lips felt, her body felt pressed against his. He blinked as he stared at the roof of the tent. This couldn't be happening, it wasn't possible. Charlene was perfect, there wasn't a chance in hell she would be interested in someone like him. Did she hit her damn head or something? What if it was worse that than? What if this was all some trick to get him back for being such an asshole? What if she had figured out he liked her and she was using it to hurt him, since he hurt her all the time when he lashed out? His mind was once again poisoning and tainting everything that happened the night before. Good things didn't happen to a Dixon, and this was no exception. It had to be a fucking trick. The panic started clawing at him and he felt like he couldn't breathe the more he thought about it. 

He scooted out from under her, successfully not waking her as he stuffed his boots on hurriedly and grabbed his bow. He all but dived from the tent, stalking off to the woods without giving anyone a glance. His chest was heaving as he tried to make his fucking head shut up. He felt angry and he felt fucking depressed. Why had he let it happen? He should have known from the get-go it was all a bunch of bullshit. She wouldn’t ever willingly kiss him because she wanted to. She was just trying to get him back for all the shit he’d ever done to her. And now he’d finally had a taste of her and he was itching for more, but he knew it wouldn't happen. He heard footsteps behind him but he made no move to turn around as he continued to stomp off.

“The fuck ya want Merle?” he snapped, still not turning to look as he walked into the trees.

“I’m wonderin’ why the hell ya just flew outta ya tent like a bat out of hell,” Merle frowned, jogging a little to catch up with him. Daryl stopped walking, glaring at the floor. He looked off to the side, chewing his lower lip before he heaved a sigh and shrugged his broad shoulders.

“Me and Charlene kissed last night,” he muttered, his cheeks heating up at admitting it.

“Shit now brother! Ya finally got a set of balls and made a move? I’m proud of ya!” Merle laughed gleefully, earning a glare from Daryl.

“She told me she liked me first. And I couldn't say it back. Just fuckin’ kissed her instead,” he glowered.

“Ya wanna tell me why ya got a face like a smacked ass then? Ain't it a good thing?” Merle asked confused as Daryl continued to scowl at him.

“‘Cause it's all a bunch of bullshit, that's why,” he sneered, stalking off once more.

He was halted when Merle grabbed the scruff of his shirt and tugged him back and he growled. He fucking hated it when his brother manhandled him like that. He turned to glare at Merle and Merle gave him that look. The one that made him lower his eyes instantly and relax his posture a little. When Merle was satisfied he wasn't about to bolt again, he let go of his shirt.

“C’mon, spit it out. ‘Cause I sure as fuck don’t know what's goin’ on in that fucked up head of yers little brother,” Merle frowned. It was all over the boys face; anger, sadness. Merle wasn't quite sure how a fucking kiss had reduced him to this. Not when he knew his little brother had liked her for the longest time.

“She ain't like me that way Merle. I’m a Dixon, ya know how it is. What the fuck she want with a piece of shit like me? It's just a plan to get me back for all the bullshit I pulled on her,” Daryl scowled, not able to look at him. Merle shook his head, reaching out and thwacking his brother harshly around the head.

“The hell Merle?!” Daryl yelled, rubbing his head that was now fucking aching.

“Ya dumb piece a shit, ya gotta fuck up anythin’ good that comes along ya way? Tiny ain’t no schemin’ bitch, and trust me when I say I know one when I fuckin’ see one. Ya know this, she’s as sweet as fuckin’ sugar that girl. So what the fuck are ya yappin’ on about?” he asked harshly. The look he gave Daryl made him swallow thickly, his cheeks flaming. He felt like a scolded child.

He knew on some level his brother was right. Charlene wasn’t the type to scheme or do something shady like this. But it was the only logical reason in his mind as to why she had kissed him or said that she liked him. It wasn't possible for it to be true.

“What else is it then huh? She don't fuckin’ like me that way,” he scoffed, shaking his head.

“Boy, I’m about a second away from whoopin’ yer ass into the mud. She kissed ya back, told ya she likes ya, and ya gonna stand here and spout this bullshit? At least she had the fuckin’ balls to make a damn move,” Merle sneered. Daryl squinted at him a little, clenching his fist by his side.

“She made a move to fuck with my head! Ain’t no other explanation for it unless she lost her damn mind when she got lost,” he spat, taking a step back. Merle let him this time and watched as he stalked off once more. He knew his brother was a little fucked up in the head but this shit was ridiculous. He finally got what he wanted and he couldn't even be happy about it. He had to make it into something twisted and evil.

When Charlene woke up, she was alone. She sat up confused and frowning as she glanced around. Like she expected Daryl to just appear. Of course he didn't though. She got her boots on and climbed out of the tent, her eyes scanning the area. Once again, no Daryl. She walked over to Merle who was sat there carving something out of wood.

“Where’s Daryl?” she asked, her cheeks flushing when she remembered the night before. It made her feel like a giddy schoolgirl with a crush and she had to fight the smile that wanted to break through.

“He went out to hunt,” Merle said with a sigh, glancing up at her. She tilted her head, reading his expression and she rolled her eyes as she shook her head.

“He freaked out again didn’t he?” she scoffed. Merle's eyes widened a little at how well she clearly knew his brother. He stood up, stretching out his back a little. 

“Of course he did, he's fuckin’ Daryl,” he snorted, making her heave a large sigh, her heart sinking.

“Look, it ain’t you alright? He's convinced last night was you tryin’ to get ya own back on him for bein’ an asshole. I told him it ain’t the way it is. I mean shit girl, I’ve known ya liked him for fuckin’ ages. But he ain’t wanna listen to me. Ya know how stubborn he is. He’s convinced ya don’t like him, that ya too good for him,” Merle said quietly. There wasn't any point in beating around the bush here. He knew she would be hurt if he didn't tell her the real reason why Daryl was acting like a little bitch again.

Charlene looked at him with a nod, digesting his words. It didn't surprise her that Daryl would think something like that. The boy had issues and his issues had fucking issues. She hated that he had been through so much in his life that it made him this way. She couldn't bring herself to be mad at him for freaking out, she knew this was a lot for him. She was glad Merle told her. It made her think back to the very first time she had met Merle. She was sure he had no memory of it. He had been wasted at the time but that was the first time she met him, and that day she felt like she saw the real Merle Dixon.

~

_ Charlene sat by the lake, sniffling as she wiped her eyes. She would come here sometimes with her friends. Having fun and swimming. But she was here alone today, she was here to escape the pain she was feeling. The black dress she wore felt like it was mocking her and the 18-year-olds hair was pinned up all fancy. Her aunt had done it for her that morning. Her mother's funeral had been a nice service, but she couldn't appreciate any of it. Not when she felt so bitter at the loss of her. She had been so convinced her mother would get better again, she felt like she had been blindsided by this. She couldn't stay there a minute longer. She had no desire to attend the wake or be around her father any longer. Not when he had been drinking from the second he woke up.  _

_ He wasn't a nice drunk. But that wasn't the only issue. She hated seeing him like this. She had lost her mother but he had lost his soul mate. And now the man that was once so devout in his faith had turned his back on God altogether, and she wasn't surprised. She heard someone walking down the dirt path and she looked over. Her teary eyes blinked a little at the man that stood there. It was Merle Dixon. She hadn't ever spoken to him. She had a crush on Daryl, had done since the few months before when she saw him for the first time outside of Anna’s house. Daryl intimidated her a little. But it wasn't anything to do with the bullshit people said about him. He was just so gruff and manly, and when she would see him it made her insides feel all wobbly. Merle though, she knew a lot of the shit people said was true about him. And she knew he was in and out of prison for all sorts of shit.  _

_ “The fucks this?” he slurred slightly. She noticed then the bottle of whiskey in his hands as he sauntered over to her. She sat up straighter not really knowing what to expect. He stood there, blinking down at her for a moment as she watched him warily. _

_ “Yer that young'un that hangs around with Billy's sister,” he stated, recognising her it seemed. She wiped her eyes and nodded, glancing at the floor. _

_ “Charlene,” she muttered. A weird silence descended over them and she was about to get up and leave. _

_ “Why ya out here alone cryin’? Dangerous out here by yaself,” he huffed. She shrugged, she didn’t really care what happened to her anymore. _

_ ”I just needed to get away. It was my mom's funeral today,” she admitted. Saying the words out loud brought a fresh batch of tears to her eyes as a wave of pain hurt her. She heard him heave a sigh before he moved to sit opposite her, plonking the bottle of alcohol next to him. _

_ “Heard about ya Ma, she was a good woman,” Merle mused, shocking her a little. He was nothing like how she expected from everything she heard about him. She just nodded, the lump in her throat getting worse by the second. Her mother was a good woman and she hated God for this, for taking her away from her. She glanced at him, watching as he took a sip of the whiskey and put it back down. _

_ “It's a hard thing, losin’ ya momma. Were ya close?” he asked curiously. She wasn't sure why the fuck he was sat there with her talking about this but she sniffled and nodded. _

_ “She was my best friend. I really thought she’d get better, like she did last time. But she just…” she shook her head, tears streaming down her face once more. She was startled when she felt Merle pat her hand somewhat awkwardly. She snorted bitterly, wiping her eyes out of anger.  _

_ “I know it's hard. I remember how bad it was when our Ma died. She wouldn't want ya to sit here mopin’ though girl. Ya gotta be strong,” he insisted firmly. She squinted at him a little with a huff. _

_ “What's the point?” she lamented. She was getting angry that her tears wouldn't fucking stop as she swiped at her eyes again. _

_ “The point is the fact that yer still here. Ya momma might be gone, but yer not. Ya wanna sit here cryin’ about it forever, then fine. But I’ll tell ya somethin’, she’s gonna be up there watchin’ ya and be fuckin’ disappointed. Don't ya wanna make her proud, be the strong woman she always wanted ya to be?” he asked pointedly. He was strangely coherent for a drunk person and she blinked at him dumbly for a second. His words were weirdly comforting and it was ironic it was Merle that was saying these things. The man who everyone in town thought was the vilest person on the planet. She had cried at the funeral. Bawled her damn eyes out and the only person to comfort her was her best friend Anna. Even her own family didn't bother. And here Merle Dixon was giving her a pep talk, talking time out of his day to sit with her. _

_ “Does it ever get easier?” she asked weakly, blinking her sad eyes at him. He licked his lower lip and looked down. _

_ “Ain't gonna lie. It never goes away. I still think about my Ma all the damn time. Hell, all I have to do is mention her and Daryl flies into a rage. But it does ease up. Ya can’t let it break ya girlie, I know ya stronger than that,” he insisted. She straightened up a little, taking a deep breath. He was right. She could do this, she could push past the pain, she had no choice. Who else was going to pick up the pieces now? Her father was in no frame of mind anymore. _

_ “Thanks Merle,” she smiled, making him snort and look away like he looked awkward.  _

_ “Right, c’mon,” he said gruffly as he stood, swaying on his feet just a little. _

_ “What?” she asked confused, making him chuckle. _

_ “I’mma walk ya home. Ain't gonna let ya walk home in the dark now am I?” he snorted, like it was obvious.  _

_ That was the day Charlene saw the real Merle Dixon, not the one everyone always made him out to be. Was he perfect? Not in the least and she found that out herself years later when he would come to her work and say all kinds of shit to her. But she knew underneath it all was someone else, a person not many got to see. It was the reason she would grit her teeth and smile politely when he started with his usual bullshit at the store or diner.  _

_ ~ _

“You know what? No, I’m not letting him do this,” Charlene huffed, making Merle quirk a brow at her curiously.

“He always wants to run away, or to lash out so I run away. I’m done with this bullshit. We finally found out we like each other and he wants to do this again? I’m not letting him. I’ll tell him everything he thinks is a bunch of shit. Let him try to tell me I’m lying,” she said defiantly. Merle grinned at her, he knew his brother was about to get a fucking ear full when he got back and he was glad. Maybe having the girl outright tell him this would help. Like she said, how could he tell her she was lying to her face?

“Alright, but wait ‘til he gets back. Ain’t have ya runnin’ off in the woods after him alone,” Merle said sternly, making her snort.

“Okay  _ dad _ ,” she grinned, laughing as he squinted at her, his jaw slack. If she confronted Daryl and he still wanted to act this way, then it was fine. Then at least she knew it was doomed and there wasn’t point in even trying. But she really hoped she could break through to him and make him see sense.


	29. Chapter 29

**Shits about to get real in here.**

**Giving you fair warning, you have like 5 chapters left after this one. You’ll already know this if you have me on Tumblr. If you don't, there will be a sequel, so don't worry. I’ll post my reasons in the last chapter of this one.**

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Charlene was waiting for Daryl to get back from hunting. She was pacing by the quarry trying to gather her courage. She was nervous, but she tried to take comfort in Daryl's own words and what Merle said. Daryl admitted he liked her, fuck he had kissed her. And then Merle explained why he had freaked out. He didn't think he was good enough so he presumed it was some kind of trick. She was nervous because for her plan to work, she would have to admit a lot of shit to him and that would be embarrassing. But if it meant he would finally see she was telling the truth, she would do it. She wasn't sure if Daryl would even turn up. Merle had told her when Daryl came back he would send him over here. She didn't have any desire to have this conversation within earshot of people. She had a sinking feeling Daryl might just ignore Merle and go straight to the tent. She didn't regret the kiss. It had been a fucking good kiss and she wanted more of them. But if this was it now. If Daryl didn't want to listen to what she had to say and things were ruined with them, then she would regret it. She didn't want things to be awkward with them or for them to drift apart. 

She paced around anxiously, breathing deeply as she pumped herself up for the talk, if it ever happened. She heard someone walking down to the quarry and she glanced up, meeting Daryl's stony gaze.

“Sit down,” she demanded. His eyes widened a little, her tone was unexpected and he squinted, not liking being told what to do. He complied anyway because he wanted to know what the fuck she was going to say. His curiosity would be the death of him. He sat on the rock in front of her, chewing his thumb anxiously. He felt awkward as shit and he knew she was mad by her face. He had fucked up again, but he didn't care. Or at least that's what he told himself.

“You wanna tell me what this bullshit is about me not being good enough for you, or thinking that last night was some kind of trick?” she asked bluntly. His thumb fell from his mouth as he gaped at her. That fucking snitch Merle. He couldn't believe he fucking told her that. He felt the anger brewing inside of him and he clenched his jaw.

“It's fuckin’ true ain't it?” he snapped, glaring up at her. He didn't even want to know what she wanted to say, he didn't want to stick around for this. He got up and stormed off, leaving the girl glaring after him. She followed him, not caring that now they were in camp and some people were milling around.

“Don’t walk away from me Daryl!” she huffed, getting angrier by the second.

“Trouble in paradise?” Shane asked with a smirk as he suddenly appeared, Daryl’s nostrils flared in anger and he was about to open his mouth but Charlene beat him to it.

“Nobody asked you Shane so go the fuck away,” she growled causing Merle to bark a laugh as he sat by a tree. Shane blinked at her, shocked at her tone and even Daryl looked at her like she had grown another head. He hadn't heard her talk like that before but it was a little amusing that she had spoken to that prick like that. Or at least it would have been if she wasn't chasing him down, trying to back him into a corner with her bullshit.

“Hey, no need for that. I’m just making sure there ain’t a problem here,” he spoke in that slow calm tone that rubbed Daryl the wrong way and he squinted at him.

“The only issue here is this asshole walking away from me when I’m trying to talk to him,” she glowered. Daryl looked at her, his jaw set.

“We ain't doin’ this here,” he sneered, gripping her upper arm and leading her back to the fucking quarry. Like fuck he was doing this with all the nosey assholes staring at them. He felt like he had no choice if she was going to do this. When they got back there, he sat down glaring up at her.

“Ya done?” he spat, making her shake her head and scoff.

“Are you?” She retorted harshly. He looked down, clenching his jaw tightly as he glared at the floor.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. She knew he had his issues and that's why she was trying to be patient with him, even if she did want to kick him a little.

“Do you wanna know how long I've liked you for?” she asked, making him scoff bitterly and shake his head as he looked off to the side, clearly not believing her. She was talking shit and he wanted no part of this. 

“I‘ve had a crush on you since I was 17,” she admitted, not wavering in her stance as she bore holes into him with her green eyes. Daryl squinted at her distrustfully so she decided to carry on.

“You probably don't even remember. But I was walking home with Anna and you were at her house with Billy, working on his bike. Right away I asked Anna who you were because I thought you were hot. I said something about Anna not shutting her mouth and you actually laughed. I almost died, Anna found it hilarious how into you I was,” she started. Daryl couldn't look at her. He remembered what she was talking about and he had almost forgotten about it. She had been young then, too young for him so he hadn't really thought about her that way. And now the memories of Billy’s sister's friend kept coming to the surface, remembering every time Charlene had been around him before he actually noticed her. It was weird to think she might have liked him even back then, before he had liked her. Once again it was hard to believe and he found himself distrusting as he gnawed on his thumb.

“Every time I went there after, I always hoped you’d be there. If you were I’d watch you, admire you from afar. Then I started work and you just seemed to be there all of the time. I’d try and talk to you but you were never interested. I mean how else do you think I was the one who always served you in the diner? I would literally beg Jenna to let me bus your table if she was the one working that area. I fucking like you Daryl. I don't give a shit what your head is telling you. I’ve liked you for years,” she said firmly. He glanced up at her warily but she could see on his face he was conflicted. He eyed her, she didn't look like she was lying and that left him confused. His brain was adamant she wouldn't like him and here she was confessing liking him for years. It didn't match up to his thoughts and he couldn't make sense of anything.

Charlene looked at him, she didn't know how this was going. He looked conflicted but she didn't really have anything else to say. She slumped her shoulders a little and sighed.

“You know what Daryl, I don't know what you fucking want from me. I’ve told you the truth and if you can't believe that, then there's nothing I can do,” she frowned. She went to walk away back to camp but his hand darted out, catching her wrist firmly. She glanced at him and he wasn't able to look at her. His chest was heaving a little, his brain still trying to soak in everything she had said. She wasn't a liar and he knew that, but things didn't make sense.

“I just...I don't get how. Or why. It don't make no fuckin’ sense to me that someone like you would like me that way,” he hated how soft his voice sounded. So fucking unsure of himself. Talking about this kind of shit, talking about his feelings, it wasn't something he enjoyed doing but he was terrified. He was scared if he let her walk away after all she had told him that she wouldn't want anything to do with him now. 

He wasn’t stupid, he knew he had issues. And he wanted so desperately to believe what she was saying. But he was scared. Because that stupid little voice in the back of his head was telling him it was all lies and it was killing him.

“I told you once before Daryl, you’re a good man. I’ve always seen it. There is no ‘me better than you’ bullshit. I told you that day exactly how I see you, you know what I think of you. I never thought you'd like me back because I thought you'd want some kind of strong woman, someone who could look after herself. Not a dumb little preachers daughter,” she huffed. Daryl felt like he was getting a taste of his own medicine when she uttered those words. Listening to her put herself down like that. He fucking hated it and he frowned. Her words were spinning around his head, all she had admitted to him. And now seeing her look unsure of herself, mirroring him, he found himself opening his mouth before he had the chance to think about it.

“I used to come to the store and diner just for you. I ain't need a damn thing but...I’d go in to see ya. See that pretty smile,” he admitted as his cheeks flushed. He wasn't able to look at her, admitting such things out loud. He felt like such a fucking girl, but part of him felt good to finally get it off his chest. She was quiet and when he chanced a glance at her, she was biting her lip and smiling as her cheeks tinged pink. He snorted, looking down feeling like a dick. But his chest felt weird at making her smile and blush like that. Nothing added up in his head. Her words, how she acted, she did seem like she liked him that way. When he thought back to how she always slept next to him, how she was fine with being in her underwear and having him touch her hair. All the little things since they had been stuck together. It all made sense. He tried to ignore the little voice in his head, the one that would always fill him with self-doubt and hatred. He wanted to believe her, and he knew deep down she wasn’t lying. So what if he couldn't fucking fathom it? Maybe he should count his fucking blessings that she liked him back instead of questioning it. 

He looked back up at her, confusing himself further. She was so beautiful it almost hurt his eyes and he wasn't sure what fucking planet he was on right now, but he knew he should roll with it. Who knew when she would change her damn mind.

“You remember what I said that time? How before you freak out you should just talk to me?” she smirked, making him scoff and look down, his cheeks turning pink. 

“I know. Keep fuckin’ up,” he sighed, shaking his head. He was still gripping her wrist and he could feel her pulse under his fingertips. He inhaled a deep breath as he stood up, looking down at her as she blinked at him.

“M’sorry. I know I say it all the fuckin’ time and I’ll probably have to continue to say it. Ain't used to this shit. Keep messin’ up,” he frowned. Charlene raked her teeth over her plump lower lip, his eyes catching the movement. 

He was caught off guard when she took a step closer, in his personal space. His throat felt like it closed up as his heart hammered against his ribcage. Why did every little thing she did make him feel like a fucking girl? 

“I’m trying to be patient. I know you have your issues and I’ll keep being patient. But you need to meet me halfway here Daryl. If you're serious about this, it's not gonna work if you keep doing this. Just talk to me next time and we can figure it out together,” she said softly, giving him a tentative smile. He swallowed thickly as he nodded. He knew it wouldn't work if he kept at it, he would push her away eventually and hate himself for it. He had wanted this for so long, and now it was here, his fantasy coming to life and he knew he needed to try and sort his shit out. She said he could talk to her when things got messy in his head like they always did and it was embarrassing. But he knew he would have to swallow his pride when it came to it or he’d have to live with the fact he had ruined it all. That he had the girl of his dreams and fucked it all up.

“I’mma try. Might slip up from time to time but… I want this,” he admitted, the tips of his ears burning.  _ If I could stop blushin’ like a damn chick, that would be fuckin’ great…  _

She grinned up at him and he felt a smile work its way onto his face. It felt better now they talked it out. Maybe he would get used to this sharing feelings bullshit. He felt lighter and now he could ignore the damn voice in his head and focus on the words she had told him, the sincerity on her face. She was so close to him and he felt like his legs might just give out on him. His breathing picked up as she leant in, kissing him somewhat hesitantly. They'd both need to get used to this, but if kissing was part of that, then shit, he was down for it. His hand came up to rest on the side of her neck, her pulse point under his fingertips. He deepened the kiss, feeling a little more brave about the whole thing since she apparently liked him for as long as she did. He felt her pulse pick up as he kissed her more firmly. She fisted his shirt, pulling him a little closer and he groaned, tangling his tongue with hers. He didn't think kissing anyone had ever been this good before, had him this worked up. He couldn't help it though, he felt like a schoolboy all over again. When she pulled away, she gave him a smile as her cheeks flushed. He couldn't help the satisfaction he felt every time she gave him that look, that he had been the one to put it on her pretty face.

“Not gonna bolt on me this time are you?” she smirked wryly, making him glare playfully at her. 

“Little smart ass again huh?” he asked, making her snort at him. He was glad she was trying to make light of it though, everything felt better when it was a little less heavy. He was beyond grateful with the amount of chances she continued to give him. For her continued patience with him and his stupid damn head. He wasn't sure when it would all run out but he would try his fucking hardest to keep himself in check from now on. He didn't think he would ever wrap his head around the fact she liked him at all. That she found him attractive, thought he was a good man. But he did believe her. So he would just ignore the confusion and soak her in for as long as she would let him.

“So… are we going steady now or what?” she grinned mischievously. He rolled his eyes as he huffed a laugh.

“Don’t make me fuckin’ gag that pretty little mouth,” he smirked as he shook his head. He didn’t know what the fuck they were. He wanted her to be his girl but he wasn't really in the right place to ask her such a thing, not yet. 

“Mhm, I think you might like it too much,” she teased as she took a step back, looking all cheeky and shit. His cheeks flushed a little as he fake glared at her and it only made her laugh lightly. 

“That's it, I’m gonna go ask Merle for the duct tape,” he snorted. She bit her lower lip and grinned widely at him, making his insides turn to mush again.  _ I’m the luckiest bastard on the whole damn planet. _


	30. Chapter 30

**Important flashback from Merles POV in this one and some fluff. Lots of floooof.**

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When had making out ever been this fucking good? Daryl couldn't remember the last time he actually enjoyed kissing a woman. Usually, he wouldn't kiss them at all, it felt weirdly too intimate so he avoided it. But this, this shit was heaven and he couldn't get enough. Despite the fact that their first-ever kiss was initiated by him, all the others had been the girls doing. He had only initiated that one out of desperation to keep her there and not being able to find the words to tell her. But now, every time she kissed him, it gave him the confidence and once she had initiated it, it was like he felt like he had permission to keep kissing her however he wanted. It was the day after Charlene's big speech, the one that managed to convince him to ignore the voice in his head and just go along with whatever this was. Nothing had changed much when they were around the group, but now they were making out like a couple of teenagers. They had gone to bed an hour ago, but then she kissed him. Now he was on top of her, kissing her breathless as he greedily claimed her mouth. She kept letting out these sweet little moans that were music to his fucking ears. Kissing her was his new favourite thing to do. He was hard as a rock, straining against his jeans and he tried to ignore it. He knew she would be able to feel it but she hadn't acted repulsed so that was a good thing.

He needed air, his lungs burning, so he moved his lips off hers, kissing down her jaw and to her neck. He still hadn't grown the balls to ask her to be his properly. So he decided to do the next best thing. He had seen how that prick Shane had been looking at her all day. Daryl didn't know what his deal was. First off, everyone thought they were together anyway so the asshole shouldn't even be looking her way. But Daryl also knew he was fucking Lori. He had stumbled on them more than a few times when he was out hunting, bare asses hanging out acting like a pair of fucking animals. He felt the need to stake his claim on her further but he was too much of a pussy to ask her outright. And even if he did, he knew it wouldn't stop Shane looking. Neither would what he was about to do but he knew the next time the asshole looked, it would make him think of him.

He latched onto her neck, sucking on it and marking her up real good. He loved how she gasped, squirming under him. He groaned low in his throat at the feeling of her arching up against his dick. He moved away, smirking feeling pleased with himself at the large hickey he had given her. He looked at her as her eyes fluttered open. Her lips were swollen from his bruising kisses and she looked almost dazed.

“Mmm, no one's ever done that to me before,” she grinned, all pink cheeks and bright eyes. Daryl's smirk widened as he leant down, ghosting his lips against hers. His overwhelming horniness making him confident with her.

“Is that right?” he drawled against her lips, making her eyes flutter shut again as she nodded. It pleased him greatly that he was the first guy to mark her up. He knew she was no virgin. Fucking Anna and her mouth that never stopped. He had been there a few times when she went on about Charlene hooking up with someone at a party. It had always filled him with murderous jealousy and rage. And now he was fucking kissing her and having her rub all over his dick like a horny little thing. He felt somewhat smug.

She leaned up to kiss him but he moved away with a wicked smirk, watching as she opened her eyes and pouted at him. He was loving this, having her seem so needy for him. He needed the fucking ego boost. He kissed down the other side of her jaw, down her neck and giving it the same treatment. He wanted to mark her up everywhere if he could. She was his and his alone. She moaned softly, the noise going straight to his dick as he pulled away, looking down at her again. She had clearly lost her patience as she grabbed the back of his neck, crashing his lips down to hers. He kissed her hungrily, all tongues and teeth as he just lost himself in her. He never wanted to leave the damn tent again.

Suddenly the tent unzipped and Daryl sat up quickly, head whipping around and coming face to face with his brother. His cheeks were flaming and he clenched his jaw.

“What?” he asked roughly, hating that they had been interrupted. He moved away from her and she sat up blushing a little as Merle came inside with a frown.

“Ya got the first aid kit in ya bag?” he asked. Daryl blinked at him warily.

“Yeah...why?” he asked. Part of him was internally panicking thinking he may have been bit. But he knew his brother well enough that if he had been, he would no doubt put a bullet in his head and not come here.

“Cut myself makin’ a damn snare,” he huffed grumpily. Daryl glanced down to see the cut on his hand. Charlene furrowed her brow as she grabbed Daryl's pack, getting the first aid kit out. She sat next to Merle and got to work fixing up his hand. It was late but Daryl wasn’t surprised his brother was awake and trying to keep himself busy. He had been using less once again since the girl came back and Daryl was proud of him. He wasn't sure what it was about the girl that had his brother wanting to be a better man. Had him lessening his drug usage. No one else had ever been able to do that before.

After their talk the day before, when they returned back to camp, Merle had been gleeful at seeing them together. Daryl had no idea why his brother was so happy about it. Merle had been wanting in her pants for fucking years and now he was over the moon that Daryl was with her or whatever the fuck this was. Every time he thought about it, it only confused him. Merle had never teased him once about liking her even though he had known near enough the whole time. That wasn't like his brother at all and he didn't really get what the fuck that was about. But he knew Merle was fucking weird, he wouldn't ever fully understand his brother and why he did the shit he did. Merle watched her carefully as she wrapped up his hand and he gave her a weary smile. He was glad she had managed to talk some sense into his brother. Daryl seemed lighter today when he was around camp and Merle liked it. He knew this girl was good for his brother, he had known all along. It was why he did what he did all the time back then, hoping he would push them both together.

****  
  


_ ~ _

_ Merle sat at the table in the diner, his brother scowling bloody murder next to him as usual. He knew his brother hated it when he came with him here, but it didn't mean he was about to stop. He had a plan after all. He saw the girl chatting to her co-worker, a bright smile on her face. She was pretty, he’d never be able to deny that. But she was far too innocent for him. The preacher's daughter was sweet and he liked his ladies a little rough around the edges. He wouldn't lie, if Daryl didn't have the hots for the little thing he would have tried his luck with her. But he knew she'd never go for it anyway. Daryl did have the hots for her though. Fucking bad. Merle had never seen his brother like this with anyone. Daryl thought he was hiding it well but Merle wasn't fucking stupid. He would see the way his brother looked at her. How he tensed whenever they were over at Billy's and his loud-mouthed sister would talk about her. Daryl would always make excuses to go to the store when Merle knew they didn't need a fucking thing. Daryl wanted her, bad. And Merle being the good big brother he was, well he was trying to make it happen. _

_ “Hey guys, you want the usual?” Charlene smiled brightly at them as she approached their table. _

_ “Always sugartits. Ya thought any more about Ol’ Merle's offer?” he grinned lasciviously at her. He saw how she tensed a little and he felt bad at making her so uncomfortable. But he knew his brother could have quite the jealous streak and that was the exact reason why he was doing this. _

_ “For fuck sake Merle, leave her be,” Daryl huffed from opposite him, face like thunder as he glared at him. Merle smirked at him and shrugged innocently. Charlene cleared her throat, fake smile plastered all over her face as she looked at him. _

_ “Answers still no Merle,” she said softly. She was insistent every time and he had to hand it to her, she always took it like a fucking champ.  _

_ “Aw c’mon now. I can make ya feel real good,” he cackled, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He grunted when he felt a hard kick to his shin under the table and he quirked his brow at Daryl who was scowling at him. Charlene wrote on her little pad thingy, she knew them well enough to know their usual order without needing prompting. He wondered if his brother had something to do with that. Daryl wasn't the only one Merle had caught giving longing glances. She scurried off and Daryl shook his head, looking ready to throttle him. _

_ “What?” he asked with a grin, making Daryl bristle in his seat. _

_ “Why ya always gotta do this shit? She's a good girl, she don't need ya fuckin’ comin’ here and talkin’ this shit to her,” he huffed, leaning back and crossing his arms against his chest. _

_ “Like ya haven't thought about it yaself. She's a pretty little thing brother. Bet all the men here are thinkin’ about it,” his smirk widened when he saw his brother's eyes narrow and darken. Daryl turned, looking around like he was assessing just how many men there were here and he clenched his jaw as he looked back at his brother. Merle knew Daryl wasn't happy with the idea he just put in his head but he was trying to light a damn fire up the boy's ass. He had been coming here for over a year now and the asshole still hadn't made a move. _

_ “Just leave her the fuck alone,” Daryl growled with a glare. _

_ “Or what?” Merle smirked smugly. Daryl sat up straighter, all tense and tightly wound. Merle hoped he would cave soon but his brother was nothing if not a stubborn pig-headed asshole. Merle let Daryl brood, stewing in his own jealousy until the girl came back out. _

_ “Thanks sweetcheeks, we appreciate it as always,” Merle smiled charmingly at her. He noticed how Daryl clenched his fists when she gave him a sweet smile in response. _

_ “No problem, just let me know if you need anything,” she said softly. _

_ “What time ya get off tonight?” Merle asked her. She looked awkward as she toyed with the pad in her hands and Daryl shot him a look. _

_ “Same as always Merle,” she snorted lightly, shaking her head before she walked away to serve other people. _

_ “The fuck ya askin’ her what time she finishes?” Daryl spat at him. Merle was sure the vein in his neck was about to explode and he tried not to laugh. _

_ “Was gonna offer her a ride home. Maybe she'd give me a ride in return,” he smirked. Daryl gripped his fork tightly and Merle wondered if he was about to stab him with it. He decided to calm it down a little for the night. Daryl wasn’t playing fucking ball, as usual. He’d just have to try again tomorrow. _

_ ~ _

When Merle's hand was wrapped up, Charlene gave him a smile and he nodded gratefully at her.

“There you go, all fixed. Just keep it clean. We don't need it getting infected. We don't have any antibiotics here,” she said as she moved away a little, sitting closer to Daryl. Daryl felt himself relax more the second she was by his side again. 

“Alright, I’ll get outta ya hair. Thanks Tiny,” Merle muttered. Daryl looked at his brother, he felt a pang of something in his chest and he didn't know what to make of. He knew his brother acted like a lone wolf, but so did Daryl. And despite Daryl’s dislike of most people, he knew he also hated being lonely. His brother was having a hard time with him trying to cut down the drugs. He looked worn out and Daryl could see it all over him.

“Can stay if ya want. Swiped some cards from Glenn before. Could play a game or two,” Daryl suggested, chewing his thumb as he looked at him. It reminded him of being a young boy, begging Merle to play with him or take him hunting with him. Most of the time it was a solid no, but occassionaly when his big brother was in a good mood, he got a yes. He held onto those moments more than he would care to admit. Merle looked taken aback for a second.

“I don't think he wants to. I mean he’s not gonna like it when he loses to a girl at Black Jack,” Charlene smirked. Daryl's lips quirked up into a smile. It was like she was on the same page as him as she always was. Merle was competitive by nature and he knew she was using it to her advantage.

“Alright, prepare to get yer ass whooped little lady,” Merle snorted, relaxing where he sat. Daryl felt pleased he had given in, happy the girl had goaded him. Maybe a few games would loosen him up a little and maybe Merle would actually get some damn sleep tonight. 

He reached for the pack of cards from his bag and Charlene took them, getting them out of the box and shuffling them.

“Don’t cry when I win,” she grinned mischievously, making Merle scoff and wave his hand dismissively.

“Think ya girl’s lost her damn mind brother,” Merle snorted.

“Already established that since she fuckin’ likes _me_ ,” he smirked, earning a punch to his chest as she glared playfully at him.

“No talking bad about yourself whilst I’m around,” she squinted as he rubbed his chest. She could pack a fucking punch for a tiny little human.

“Yes Ma’am,” he teased, a light laugh leaving his lips when she poked him. When he glanced to Merle, almost feeling embarrassed for acting this way with him there, he was surprised to see his brother grinning at them. He felt the tips of his ears burning as he glanced down, waiting for the girl to deal the cards. Its was nice spending time with his girl and brother like this. For a moment they could pretend the dead weren’t trying to make them dinner or how they were stuck in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of assholes. As long as he had Merle and Charlene by his side, he knew it would all be alright in the end.


	31. Chapter 31

**Enjoy! *smirks and prances off into the darkness***

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Charlene sat around the campfire with some of the others as they cooked dinner. Daryl and Merle had been gone all day hunting and she had declined their offer for her to go with them. She felt like she needed to make herself useful around camp, chip in like everyone else did. So she had spent the day washing clothes with Amy and Carol. She was anxious now. She hated being away from Daryl and she was starting to regret not going with him. Things had been going well the past few days. When they were in public, he didn't act any different and she knew he probably felt weird about public displays of affection. But any time they were alone, they’d kiss like their lives depended on it. She felt like she was getting a case of female blue balls but she loved it anyway. He had actually started initiating the kisses himself at night in their tent, slowly growing more confident with her. She was pleased things were going smoothly and she hoped they would continue to do so.

She looked up as she heard Merle and Daryl coming over, back from their hunt. Her eyes widened seeing the buck slung over Daryl's broad shoulders and she couldn't help but grin, feeling so proud of him. The others in the group murmured their appreciation as Daryl put the deer on the floor. She couldn't take her eyes off him. When he glanced her way, he gave her that look. The same one he had given her when she went hunting with him last time he bagged a deer. She remembered what Merle said, about how he was after a hunt. It made her tingle all over and a sly smirk spread across her face as she watched him staring her down with hungry eyes. 

“I’ll prep it since ya caught it,” Merle muttered clapping Daryl on the back with a smile. Daryl nodded and Charlene stood, going over to him.

“Pretty big deer you got huh?” she asked, sly smirk still on her full lips. Daryl licked his lower lip as he looked down at her. Grunting and nodding in response. He wanted her. Fuck, he wanted her bad. His dick was aching it was that hard and he was fighting his primal urges to keep himself in check. She had this look on her face, a knowing look and he knew she knew damn well he wanted her. She nibbled her lower lip, his eyes gazing down at the motion and she sauntered off. He just watched after her as she gathered the dishes from dinner. He wanted to throw her on the damn floor and fuck her senseless. He shook his head, taking a shaky breath as he went over by the tree near the tent. Trying to keep a good distance between him and everybody else like he always did. He had been worked up anyway recently. All their making out was driving him crazy but now it was overwhelming. He always got turned on after a good hunt. It always made the primal side to him seep out and right now, he wanted his damn woman. 

He sat there for a bit, his eyes following her wherever she went and he knew she was aware of his eyes on her. She would look at him every now and again, blushing deeply with a smile. It felt like his skin was crawling with his growing arousal, his need for her reaching an all-time high. It was consuming him whole and he had no hope of holding back, not now. She looked over once more and he gestured with his head towards the tent. His face firm letting her know she shouldn't argue. She smirked and he got up, climbing into the tent. He was thankful his tent was further away from the others and most people had settled in for the night now. He sat there waiting as she climbed in, batting her lashes at him all coy like.

“Ready for bed?” her voice was so innocent but he saw the mischievous glint in her eyes. 

“C’mere,” he ordered gruffly. He saw as the heat swept up her neck to her cheeks and he knew she was turned on. Her pupils blown and her cheeks flushed. He felt like he could practically smell her arousal and he almost growled. 

She crawled over to him with her wide eyes and he gripped her hips, pulling her into his lap. He had been hesitant recently with making such a move. Not going further than kissing her. But right now, the part of his brain that always made him hesitate. The part filled him with self-doubt and confusion. It was muted. All he could focus on with his desperate need for her. 

“You want something?” she squeaked out, a slight smirk on her lips.

“Yeah, you,” he growled. She was blinking at him, lips parted as his fingers dug into her hips. He leant up, capturing her lips swiftly. It quickly became a frenzied kiss as he arched up at her, making her gasp. She could feel how hard he was, he wanted her to know just how much he needed her. His hands slid up her sides, taking her top with it and she lifted her arms, letting him remove it. He watched with rapt attention and greedy eyes as she reached behind her, unclasping her bra. 

He swallowed thickly, a hand going to palm her breast as his eyes drank her in for the first time. She was more perfect than he had pictured her in his head. He leant down, capturing a nipple in his mouth and she let out a soft moan that made his dick twitch. He swirled his tongue around it, relishing in the little noises she made. He latched on, sucking on it a little and she fisted his hair, tugging on it and making him groan. He kissed his way back up to her lips and kissed her bruisingly, stealing her breath from her lungs.

“Lay down,” he growled, making butterflies erupt in her belly. She nodded, a shy smile playing on her lips as she moved off his lap and lay on her back. She watched him with wide eyes as he knelt between her legs, deftly unbuttoning her pants with ease. He tugged them down with her panties and she blushed as his eyes roamed her completely naked body. She felt like her whole body was blushing at this point. 

A slow smirk crept onto his face and she couldn't tear her eyes away. This version of Daryl was a sight to behold and she didn't want to take her eyes off him. He leant down, kissing just below her belly button and her whole body felt like it was on fire. He nipped her skin, making her gasp and he smirked against her as his kisses got lower and lower. He had wanted to do this for the longest fucking time. Lord only knew how many times he had jerked off thinking about this and now he was living it. He parted her thighs, hooking his arms around them to keep her still as he rubbed his nose along her slit. He inhaled her greedily, letting her scent just consume him and ignite the inferno burning in his veins. A rumble of a growl purred in his chest and he gave her a teasing lick from her entrance to her clit. She let out a low moan, her back arching a little. He stated tracing slow circles around her bundle of nerves and within no time she was writhing. He felt good watching her like this, knowing he was the one doing this to her. She tasted fucking heavenly and he knew now he had a tase, he wouldn't ever want to fucking stop. 

He released one of her legs, slipping two fingers into her soaked entrance and her back arched more. He curled his fingers as he started fucking her with them and continued to assault her clit with his tongue. He could feel her fluttering around his fingers and her body was jerking a little as she tried to stifle her moans. He could tell she was close. He curled his fingers more, hitting that spot inside of her and her hands fisted the sleeping bag below her. Her back arched so much off it she looked like she was fucking possessed for a minute, biting her lip hard to stifle her desperate needy moans as he pushed her over the edge. She felt like she saw stars for a moment as the pleasure rolled over her in waves. Her body sagged back against the sleeping bag and she felt dazed, riding the high he had just given her.

He kissed his way back up her body, loving that glazed over look in her eyes. He smirked as he kissed her hard, letting her taste herself on his tongue. Making her cum like that made him feel all kinds of fucking good.

“Ain’t done with ya yet Peaches,” he drawled, making her shiver. His voice was low and husky and she lay there feeling blissful. He could do whatever he wanted to her, she didn’t fucking care. He didn't bother removing his shirt, he didn't want questions. So he just undid his jeans hastily, pulling them off along with his boxers and freeing his hard cock. He hovered over her, watching her face and how her full lips parted a little when he rubbed the tip of his cock against her slick heat. He was more than ready for this and he pushed into her. A low groan leaving his lips as he felt her warmth finally envelop him. He buried his face in the crook of her neck as he stilled completely.  _ Fuck, I’m gonna go off like a damn teenager… _ It felt too good, better then sex had ever felt before and it was overwhelming. 

She arched up at him, making him growl, the thread that was pulled so thin finally snapping. He pinned her arms above her head as he started thrusting into her. He was grunting and moaning low, relishing in the feel of her tight wet pussy around his cock like this. She was moaning quietly trying to not be so loud as her body writhed under him. He released her wrists and her arms went around him. One buried in his hair and she tugged on it. He liked it when she did that and he groaned, fucking into her faster and harder. He loved the noises she was making, loved how her body just melded to his so fucking perfectly and he couldn't think straight. He hitched one of her thighs up onto his hip, getting ever deeper and she kissed him greedily to stifle the loud moan that was trying to escape. He was rutting into her, no longer able to care if he came too quick. He was chasing his release desperately, finally inside of her and wanting to make her his in every fucking way possible. He could feel her walls clamping down around him and he bit her neck. 

It sent her over the edge. She became so tight it felt like she was trying to push his fucking cock out of her and his grip on her thigh got tighter. He gave a few harsh thrusts before he exploded. Groaning against her neck as he bit down on it, spilling himself inside of her. They were both panting and his face was still hidden in her neck. He placed a soothing kiss to the bite mark that was now flaming red, feeling a little guilty. She hadn't complained though, maybe she liked it? He stayed there for a moment, just basking in the afterglow of some good fucking sex with a fucking goddess. But once the high wore off he started to feel self-conscious again. That evil part of his brain was switched back on and he was fighting the urge to grab his pants and run off into the woods. He had promised her not to do that again. 

He felt her stroking his hair and it soothed him for a minute, moving away as he pulled out of her and he looked down at her. His cheeks were flushed, his hair sticking up at odd angles were she had tugged it and she grinned up at him. That fucking smile, it erased all the doubts and worries that plagued his mind. All the feelings that made him want to run off and hide. She looked so fucking perfect lay there. Her hair all over like a halo underneath her pretty little head. Her cheeks were flushed, lips swollen as she smiled at him. He ducked his head and snorted at himself, hating how he was such a little bitch about everything. He had never felt so self-conscious after sex before. But maybe ‘cause all the bitches were piss drunk and he never stuck around long enough for them to say a word. 

“Lay down,” she said softly, grabbing his hand and pulling him to lay next to her. She rolled to face him, brushing some of his hair lightly. He really liked it when she messed with his hair like that. It comforted him.

“You okay?” she asked hesitantly. He hated that she knew him so well, that she knew he had a moment, that he was about to freak out.

“Yeah,” he replied, his lips tugging into a half-smile as he lost himself in those pretty green eyes. She beamed a smile at him, leaning over and giving him a sweet kiss on his lips. 

“Good,” she grinned. He nibbled his lower lip for a moment before he wrapped his arms around her. He had just been balls deep inside of her, no need to feel awkward about wanting to fucking cuddle her. She happily nuzzled into him, resting her head under his chin as his fingertips stroked her back softly. Was this what it was like? When you really cared about someone? Having mind-blowing sex and then cuddling after and not feeling weird? He felt so relaxed and it shocked him. Now the temporary moment of panic had worn off, he felt content for the first time in forever. His primal urges were satisfied and he was laying with his girl. He didn’t want to be anywhere else on earth right now.


	32. Chapter 32

**Long author note but please read.**

**First off, I can’t believe there’s only two chapters left of this before it ends and then the sequel starts. I actually feel really sad loool**

**I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the past few days about the sequel and where I want it to go. You all know I hate writing canon and originally when I started this as a multi chap fic, I was gonna keep it totally AU and they never met the group. But stupidly, I changed my mind.**

**I regret it so bad now, so I decided to come to a compromise with my brain. It will be somewhat canon but I’m making shit up as I go. I won't be doing dialogue line by line from the show. It's too tedious and when I did it with Blood in the Water, it killed the whole story for me doing it that way. Watching it over and over by the sentence, reading scripts, it's too much. There will be a lot of shit I’m mixing up with the sequel, AU elements and just doing my own thing.**

**I don't want to write the same shit you’ve already seen over and over with my OC just slotted in there somewhere looking awkward and out of place.**

**So this is just a warning; if you don’t like AU elements or things not strictly canon then don’t bother reading the sequel because it's gonna be so fucking different to the show.**

**It’s the only way I’ll ever write it because I've been dreading it so much and it’s really been getting me down.**

**That being said, there will be a break before I start the sequel when I work on some of my other already started fics so I can get them posted for you.**

**Also, so I talk about Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome here. This isn't something I have no knowledge on since I have it myself. So I’m writing here from experience and from all my appointments and speaking to doctors.**

**That being said, have some cute insecure Daryl :’)**

**\--------------------------**

****  
  


Daryl was sat skinning some rabbits he had caught in some of the snares. He had left Charlene sleeping soundly in the tent after staring at her and admiring her for fucking ever. He was a lucky asshole. He couldn't believe his luck. But he almost felt like this was his reward for everything shitty that had happened in his life. If this was life making up for shit, he would gladly take it. Merle walked over, two bottles of water in his hands and he plonked himself down next to him, setting a water next to him. Daryl grunted and gave him a grateful nod.

“So… have fun last night?” Merle smirked, making Daryl look at him warily. His face flushed and the tips of his ears turned pink as he stared at his brother. Merle just barked a laugh and shook his head.

“Ya little lady ain’t as quiet as ya thought she was. My tents right next to yers don’t forget,” he grinned. Daryl looked down, fighting the smirk that wanted to make its way onto his face. He couldn't help it. Not when he thought about how he had the prettiest girl alive writhing under him last night.

****  
  


“What d'ya do with the rubber? Don't tell me ya tossed it near my tent,” Merle snorted. Daryl paled, realisation dawning on him. How the fuck had he forget that one? Was he that far gone with his lust that he just didn't give a shit what happened? Merle eyed him carefully, reading that look all over his damn face.

“Boy, don’t tell me ya didn't use one,” he glared at him. Daryl looked at him, looking almost like a scolded child as he berated himself internally for being so fucking careless. 

“Are ya fuckin’ stupid? Ya wanna knock her up when the dead are walkin’ around?” Merle growled at him, resisting the urge to smack him around the head. He had taught his brother better than this. Daryl lowered his gaze. He knew he was right. A baby was the last thing they needed. And besides, what if she didn't want a fucking baby with him? Who would want to birth a fucking Dixon? No one, that's who. Not to mention how soon it was, they had only just found the balls to admit they liked each other and now they might end up parents? Now he was panicking, his mind going to places he wished it fucking didn't. He felt the fear and panic welling in his chest as it tightened and he cleared his throat.

“I just...I didn’t think,” he muttered tensely. 

“Yeah well ya better fuckin’ pray she ain’t knocked up,” Merle huffed, shaking his head at him. It was bad enough thinking he might have gotten her pregnant, but adding on Merle's severe disappointment in him, the day was starting to sour considerably.

He couldn't settle, the anxiety was bubbling under his skin and he was trying to calm himself. He had been doing okay with trying to not freak out, to take a minute to breathe when he felt it coming. But now it was overwhelming and he got up, going into the tent. She had said he needed to talk to her when he felt that way, and if he didn't fucking talk to her about this, he would flee and never show his damn face again. He had to swallow his pride with this, no matter how awkward the talk might be. Now he was with her, he knew he couldn't be a stubborn asshole and ruin it. It just might kill him. When he got in the tent, she was awake and sitting up as she sleepily rubbed her eyes. She gave him a smile and his chest constricted. His throat closing up as he glared at her stomach like he expected it to start growing right in front of him.

“We ain't use protection last night,” he blurted. His face looked panicked and Charlene blinked at him for a moment. She could tell he was starting to freak out.

“Um...Just sit down for a minute,” she said softly, raking her teeth over her bottom lip. He frowned, not grasping why she was acting so calm about the fact he had probably knocked her up and ruined everything.

“Didn't ya fuckin’ hear me? Ya could be fuckin’ pregnant now,” he frowned. She gave him a look and it almost reminded him of the look Merle would give him. The one that would make him submit. He found himself sitting down without a thought and he didn't know how the fuck she managed that one.

“Look...the chances of me getting pregnant are pretty slim,” she started softly, toying with her hands and looking somewhat awkward. He tilted his head a little, wondering if she was bullshitting him to calm him down. His distrustful eyes bore into her and she looked at him. She inhaled a deep breath.

“You remember how I told you my periods get bad?” she asked softly. He nodded, eyeing her warily.

“I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome,” she explained. Daryl blinked at her for a minute, sitting up straighter.

“The fucks that?” he asked warily, looking almost like he thought it was something that could kill her. 

“It's nothing life-threatening or anything. My ovaries and hormones are fucked basically. But doctors have told me chances of me getting pregnant are really low. That I’d have to go on some meds and stuff for it to happen,” she shrugged, picking at her nails. He swallowed thickly as he let the information sink into his brain. She looked sad and it made his heart ache painfully in his chest. This was new information about her, but he gathered it was personal and not something Anna would have blurted to him if he was around. 

“So...ya can’t have kids?” he asked, his voice low. It made him feel all weird inside. A second ago he was freaking out about the thought of knocking her up and now a dull ache was spreading from his chest to the rest of his body. He hadn't ever wanted kids, he hadn't ever thought he would meet someone he cared about that wanted him back. But somewhere in the deepest darkest parts of his fucked-up mind, there was a little voice that was hoping that maybe one day, the world wouldn't be in such a fucking state. That maybe they could start a real family and settle down. It was the voice he smothered constantly because hope got you nowhere in life. But it was there subconsciously all the same. And now he was left with a hollow feeling growing in his chest that he didn't know how to deal with.

“It's not that I can’t. It can happen. It just usually takes a while for most girls, and sometimes not at all, especially without the meds. When I used to go to my appointments, there were a lot of girls there who were trying for a baby. One woman had been trying for 10 years and it still hadn't happened,” her voice wavered slightly and Daryl looked at her. Really looked at her, pushing his own selfish feelings aside as he saw her eyes glistening with tears. She was picking at her fingers unable to look at him and he knew deep down, this was something she had struggled to accept. Hell, he was currently struggling to accept it and it wasn't his fucking body. He reached out, taking her hand and her eyes snapped up to his as a tear fell down her cheek. She snorted at herself, wiping her eyes with her free hand as her cheeks flushed.

“Sorry. I haven't really thought about it in a while with all this going on. If you wanna use protection from now on we can. But chances of me getting pregnant are really low,” she muttered looking embarrassed. Daryl's chest hurt and he brought her hand up to his lips, kissing her knuckles sweetly. It made her smile a little as she glanced at him.

“Ain’t nothin’ to be sorry for Peaches,” he said softly. He admired this tiny girl sat in front of him. Her life hadn’t been fucking kind to her with the shit it had thrown at her. Yet she always remained herself. She stayed hopeful and happy. She was still able to smile. She hadn't let all the bullshit in her life ruin her like he had. She was stronger than she would ever even realise. That's why he loved her.  _ I’m sorry, what now?  _ His eyes widened a little as he looked down. Is that what the feeling was in his chest every time he looked at her? He hadn't ever been in love with anyone before. The revelation jarred him as he tried to calm his breathing so she didn't know anything was wrong. He was trying to be supportive now, she didn't need him having a fucking panic attack on her. He could run off into the woods later and freak out on his own.

“Let's get some breakfast,” she smiled at him, wiping her eyes. She looked like she was doing a little better now. He wasn't sure if she was just good at hiding it or if she was over it for now. But all he could think about was the fact he was pretty sure he loved her. He wasn't sure how to deal with it. Did it change things? What if she didn't love him back? What if all she could muster up for his hick ass was liking him and it never went any further?  _ Fuck my life. _ He gave her a weak smile, the best he could give her with his head turning against him. He didn't want her to ask what was up with him, he had no intention of telling her. Ever. He just nodded before they both climbed out of the tent. 

He was about to walk over to the rest of the group with her to eat with them, but she grabbed his wrist and stopped him. He blinked down at her. Once again getting lost in her green eyes. It calmed him somewhat for a moment. But it wasn't like he could just stand there staring at her forever to try and calm himself. She leaned up on her tiptoes and placed a soft kiss to his lips. He felt like he melted into a puddle.  _ Such a fuckin’ girl, man.  _ She hadn't ever kissed him in public before. His cheeks flushed as the corner of his mouth quirked up into a small smile. He couldn't even help it. It felt good that she would kiss him in front of people. He hadn't so much as touched her, held her hand or anything when they were around the others. He didn't want to embarrass her. It was bad enough they knew they were together since he had lied to Shane that day. He didn't want to make her feel embarrassed or self-conscious about being with him. So he kept his distance. But now, here she was kissing him, not giving a shit and it made him feel good. 

Not long after breakfast, he was down by the quarry. Charlene was helping the women out in the group doing chores back at camp and he needed a minute to himself. He had told her she didn't need to help out. He was still unhappy being stuck here with the group and he didn't think she needed to do a damn thing to help out. But she had been firm she wanted to. Saying that even Merle was helping out with hunting and prepping the food. His brother had been trying to be on his best behaviour since Charlene came back. He knew the others in camp had been surprised. He was a little less of an asshole and didn't pick fights for no reason. At least with anyone that wasn't Shane. Merle didn't like Shane one bit, neither did Daryl. But he wasn't as aggressive as before and he could see the relief in everyone. It made him feel a little guilty. Sure he didn't like any of them, but when he thought the girl was dead, his brother was fucking terrorising people in camp and Daryl had just fucking let him. He couldn't bring himself to care. He was guilty himself because of that and he was glad things had sorted out.

But now his mind was going a million miles a minute. He was confused. Did he love her? He didn't know what the fuck he felt and it was driving him mad. It wasn't something he could just ignore. His mind wouldn't let him, he couldn't just accept the fact he felt something and leave it well enough alone. He was terrified and he needed to fucking know what it was and how to deal with it. He hadn't ever been in this situation before. He was gnawing at his thumb as he paced and suddenly Amy was walking down near the water with some clothes in her hand. He glared at her, continuing to pace.

“Are you okay?” she asked carefully as she watched him, looking like a caged animal. He didn't mind Amy so much. She wasn't as annoying as some of the others and she didn't look at him and his brother with complete disdain. Only whenever it was deserved.

“Fine,” he bit out. He would have gone back to camp to get away from her. He didn't like her watching him unravel like this. But if he went back to camp then Charlene would see him and know something was up. He didn't want to go off to hunt because his head was all over the place. He didn't much feel like having a biter take a chunk outta his ass ‘cause he wasn't in the right frame of mind. Amy watched him warily from the corner of her eye as she started washing the clothes. After another few minutes of him pacing, she sighed and stood up looking at him.

“You can talk to me if you want. I won't say anything. It might make you feel better,” she shrugged. She just wanted him to calm the hell down. He stopped pacing, right eye twitching a little as he tried to calm himself a little. He didn't want to talk to anyone about this. He wanted to bury it deep inside of him and forget all about it, but his mouth clearly had other fucking ideas.

“How the fuck d’ya know if ya love someone?” he blurted. His eyes widening and cheeks flushing that it had left his fucking lips.  _ Alright, time to go off into the woods and put a bullet in my damn head.  _

A grin worked its way onto Amy's face and she looked at him with a weird look. Like understanding dawned on her face at why he was out here losing his mind just a little.

“Well… first off, if you're thinking about it this much, you probably do love her. But it depends on the person and how they make you feel. How does Charlene make you feel?” she asked with a small smile. Amy and Charlene had become somewhat friends in the time she had been in the camp. Daryl had noticed she was the one person Charlene would actually laugh with and seemed to hang out with the most.

“She makes me feel a lot of shit. Mostly that I wanna run into the damn woods and never come back,” he muttered, making her snort at him. He shot her a glare as she covered her mouth, looking sheepish.

“In a bad way or a good way?” she asked, watching him as he rolled his shoulders and sighed.

“Good I guess. It's just… I start to freak out. I ain't used to this shit and she makes me feel all kinds of shit I ain't used to. Makes my chest feel tight like my heart’s about to explode,” he huffed, glaring at the floor. Amy bit her lip to stifle her grin. It was weird seeing Daryl like this and she found it cute. Everyone had noticed how different he and Merle were since Charlene came into the group.

“And how do you feel about that?” she prodded, watching him. He shrugged, pacing just a little again and he worked his jaw as he tried to make sense of his thoughts.

“Don't know how the fuck to feel. It’s just...she gives me that fuckin’ smile that knocks me on my ass. It makes my insides turn to mush and it's like...as long as she’s smilin’ at me like that, then it’s all okay. Nothin’ else matters except to keep the damn smile on her face,” he rambled. He stopped his pacing and looked at Amy who was smiling at him and he sneered. He hated that he opened his fucking mouth at all and now he had embarrassed himself in front of her.

“That's so sweet,” she grinned. He squinted at her and she masked her smile quickly.

“I’m just saying, it sounds like you do love her. But I don't think that's such a bad thing. Love these days can be hard to find. If you’ve found your person, then you’re lucky,” she said softly. 

He chewed on his lower lip, looking at her through his lashes as her words soaked into his mind. She had a point, yet the voice in his head wouldn't leave him alone.

“And what about if she ain't feel the same?” he asked warily, suddenly looking boyish and so vulnerable that Amy had to resist the urge to hug him. She hadn't seen this side to him. He was always so gruff and now he was unsure of himself. 

“In my opinion, I think she does. I mean, she never shuts up about you for one thing. No matter what we’re doing its ‘Daryl this and Daryl that’. Not to mention the way she looks at you when you aren't looking,” she smiled. She seemed to be enjoying the whole thing way too much but he wasn't surprised. She was always gushing romantic girly shit, it just seemed to be something she was into.

“And how does she look at me?” he asked curiously. 

“She looks at you like she just realized what love feels like...The exact same way you look at her,” she smirked, quirking her brow with a knowing look. He looked down, the whole thing getting too touchy-feely and awkward for his liking. He swallowed thickly as he thought about what she said. Did she really look at him that way? He knew what she looked like when he was looking at her. Those sweet smiles and shiny eyes. But he didn't know she was looking at him when he wasn't looking. That's what he did to her all the time. Staring longingly after her no matter what she was doing. 

“So...this is what love feels like? Fuckin’ butterflies every time she looks at me? Just starin’ at her wonderin’ how the fuck I got so lucky?” he asked, wiping a hand over his face.

“Yep!” she snorted. He shook his head and looked down as he huffed a laugh.

“Shit, I’m in way over my head here,” he muttered. She pat his arm quickly, trying to be reassuring and he was thankful she hadn't pushed her luck and lingered a little. He might have thrown her in the water and bolted if she did.

“You’ll do just fine. I think you're cute together. Just don’t freak out on her and it’ll all work out,” she smiled up at him.

“Do I...do I tell her?” he asked warily. His eyes wide as he looked spooked at the notion. She stifled the laugh bubbling in her chest. He looked so clueless.

“That's not for me to say. If you want to, then tell her. If you aren't ready yet then that's fine too. There's no need to force it to happen. Just take your time and let things happen naturally. You don't need to pressure yourself,” she explained. Her words were comforting to him. No need for pressure, take his time. He could do that. Now he knew just what those weird feelings were that he kept having, he could try and deal with them. And he kept thinking of Amy's words about the fact Charlene talked about him all the time. That fact she was always looking at him when he wasn't looking at her. It felt weird to think she might feel the same way, but he wasn't about to get his hopes up.

He thought back to the conversation earlier with the girl. Despite the burning ache in his chest at what she said, it didn't change how he felt about her. He had been shocked at how disappointed he felt, that if they ever wanted a family it might never happen. He didn't even realise he wanted that, but with her, he wanted it all. But even through the disappointment, he never once wavered with how he felt for her. It didn't change a damn thing. If they couldn't ever have kids, so fucking what? He would still want to spend every waking moment with her and soak her in. It didn’t make a damn bit of difference in the end. He now knew he loved her, he could just carry on as normal and store those feelings away to keep for himself.


	33. Chapter 33

** Only one more after this one guyyyyssss :'( **

** \--------------------------- **

Daryl groaned low in his throat, nipping at Charlene's lips as they kissed desperately. They were in the tent as usual, making out. Since they passed the hurdle of having sex, Daryl didn't feel like he needed to keep his hands to himself now when they were alone. He loved how she would always respond to his touches and kisses with her little moans. He loved working her up and having her be so needy for him. He knew he liked to be dominant in bed, he had figured that out early on in his sex life. But this with Charlene was even more intense. How he would feel at hearing her beg for him, overpowering her. It was more than a rush and it left his head spinning. He couldn't get enough of her as he kissed her breathless, the pair of them naked as he ground himself against her. She was fucking perfect and he just wanted to drown in her.

He nipped her lower lip, making her gasp and he smirked down at her, sitting up a little. He admired his handy work, she was laying there with flushed cheeks looking all dazed and he couldn't help but feel pleased.

“On ya hands and knees Peaches,” he demanded gruffly, a wicked glint in his eyes. She bit down on her plump lower lip and grinned, doing as she was told. She seemed to like playing submissive to him and he loved it. She settled on her hands and knees, lifting her ass up in the air and he growled, squeezing her ass cheeks firmly. She let out a soft moan and a sly smirk spread across his face. He gripped his cock, lining himself up as he teased her a little. It was teasing him too but he just liked to push her, liked to get her needing him as much as he needed her.

“Daryl please,” she whined, pushing back at him. 

“Please what?” he smirked, making her growl in frustration. He huffed a laugh, he probably shouldn't enjoy her desperation so much but he fucking did. He could hardly help it when she wanted him this bad.

“Please fuck me, make me cum,” she whispered, pushing back at him once again. 

He was practically purring, enjoying her words and he thrust inside of her with a groan. She moaned, fisting the sleeping bag as she enjoyed the feeling of him filling her up completely. He leaned over her as he stayed still inside of her, not done with his teasing. He kissed up her spine to the back of her neck and nipped it lightly. She moaned again and he felt how she fluttered around his cock when he did it. He quirked a brow to himself, remembering how much she enjoyed him marking her up last time. 

“Like that Peaches?” he drawled, nipping at her a little harder this time. She shivered lightly as her eyes fluttered closed.

“Yeah,” she whispered in a breathy moan. He started thrusting in and out of her then, not caring about taking his time. She lowered her head, biting down on her hand to try and stifle her moans before she woke everyone at camp. 

It felt like a fire was igniting low in his belly and it started to spread out through his whole body. He still couldn't believe how good it felt with her, he always felt on the verge of fucking coming right off the bat. He started fucking her faster, jarring her small body with each of his thrusts as he groaned softly, letting the feeling consume him. 

“Bite me again,” she begged, making his movement falter just for the briefest of moments. He knew she liked the biting, he just fucking knew it. But now hearing her plead with him to do it made his dick twitch inside of her and he didn't hesitate to comply. He sunk his teeth into the side of her neck and moaned when she bucked a little against him with a gasp. Seemed his little Peaches had a biting kink and he was more than pleased about that. He wanted to leave his marks all over her, to claim her as his girl. 

He could feel the pleasure building up by the second and he knew she was feeling it too. Her moans getting more desperate as she tightened around him. He sucked on the skin on her neck, leaving more bruises for everyone to see the next day. He wanted every fucker here to know who she belonged to. If he had it his way, he would have her screaming his name right now so they would know. He knelt back up, his fingers digging into her hips as he rut into her, enjoying how she pushed back and met each thrust. He was in heaven and he was just losing himself inside of her like this. He was chasing his release, not able to stop himself, even though he never wanted this to end. He reached around underneath her, rubbing her clit to help push her over the edge. He wanted to feel her cum around his cock again. There wasn't a better fucking feeling in the world.

Her body jerked again, making him fuck her even deeper and he growled, the low gravelly sound rumbling from his throat. Her muffled moans were filling his ears, sending him over the edge. He felt her clamp down him tightly, squeezing his cock in the best way and he couldn't hold back anymore. He didn't fucking want to. He grunted, giving her a few more harsh thrusts before the blissful feeling of his release took over him and he shot his load inside of her perfect pussy. He rested his head on the back of her neck as he tried to catch his breath, enjoying the high that was running through his veins. How had he been so stupid to not admit he liked her before? He could have been doing this for the past few years and he had denied himself this pleasure. He was a fucking idiot. He pulled out of her reluctantly, watching as his cum oozed out of her. He felt the primal rush of satisfaction and he palmed her ass before collapsing next to her. 

He always felt tired after fucking her, fucking anyone for that matter. It just made him sleepy. He grinned contently when she curled around him, head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her, loving how she nuzzled into him more. He didn't care about all the shit in the past. He didn't care the dead were walking the earth trying to eat people. In that moment, everything was right with his world because she was there and she was with him. He closed his eyes feeling peaceful and drifted off to sleep with her in his arms.

****  
  
  


The next day, Charlene huffed as she walked back to camp from the quarry. She had a heavy basket of washing she had just done and her arms were aching. It wasn’t just the weight of the basket though. She had woken up feeling unwell. Her throat was sore and her chest was burning a little. The last thing she needed was to get sick so she tried to ignore it. She hadn't let on to Daryl that she felt unwell. She knew he would worry, it was just how he was. But she had been avoiding him too because she didn't want to pass whatever it was on to him. She had spent the day just keeping herself busy with chores and hadn't really seen him. 

She had her long brown hair up in a high ponytail and she had seen the curious looks people gave her. It looked like she'd been attacked by a vampire and she couldn't help but smile to herself when she thought back to how those marks got on her. Every time Shane looked at her like he always did, she saw how he glared at her neck before turning away. It almost made her laugh, the marks were like a creep repellent.

When she got back to camp, she made her way over to the makeshift washing line but her arms felt ready to give out before she got there.

“T, could you help with this?” she asked weakly. T-dog jumped up off the fold-out chair he had been sitting on, smiling as he took the basket from her arms. She felt instant relief and exhaled deeply.

“Thanks,” she smiled at him as he set it down.

“No problem,” he replied. She liked T-dog. He was always kind to her and he made her laugh. She was slowly starting to get used to being a part of this group, but some people she still didn't like. 

She started getting to work hanging them up and she could feel the start of a fever coming on. She wiped her brow and frowned as T-dog helped her without her asking. She noticed he kept glancing over his shoulder looking wary and after the hundredth time she got curious.

“Are you okay?” she asked looking amused. His eyes snapped to her then and he snorted, shaking his head.

“Yeah. But I don't think Daryls too happy about me being here helping you,” he grinned. She glanced over to where Daryl was sat with Merle and he was glaring at the pair of them. She bit her lip and looked away with a smile. She knew it was wrong but she got a weird satisfaction out of seeing him clearly jealous. He wasn't even trying to hide it as he glared T down. 

“Ignore him, if he doesn't want you to help, maybe he should get his ass over here and help me himself,” she smirked. T huffed a laugh and continued to help her. 

By the time she was done, she felt worse. Her whole body was aching now and her lungs felt rattly. She was feeling worn down as she trudged over to the brothers and sat in front of them.

“Shit Charlene, ya ain't lookin’ too good girl,” Merle frowned as he looked at her. Daryl sat up straighter as he took her in. She looked clammy and pale and he narrowed his eyes a little. Why hadn't she told him she felt sick? He had spent the day fucking watching her as she did anything in her power to stay away from him. He had started to worry that something had happened. That he had upset her. And then he saw her with T and of course, his mind ran away with itself. He had convinced himself that she didn't like him anymore and she was about to run off into the sunset with T-dog. But now seeing her looking sickly, he had a sneaking feeling she had avoided him because she wasn't feeling well.

****  
  


“Wow Merle, way to boost a girls ego,” she snorted trying to make light of it. But she started coughing and it felt like her lungs were on fire. She covered her mouth as she coughed hard and she felt someone patting her back firmly. When she blinked up, her eyes a little teary from how hard she had coughed, Daryl was stood next to her with a deep frown.

“That's it. Get yer ass up and in the tent,” he huffed scowling at her. He left no room for discussion but if she was honest, laying down sounded like a good idea after that coughing fit. Her lungs were still on fucking fire. Daryl lead her to the tent and zipped it up when they got inside. She lay down and resisted the urge to snort as he tucked her in. He sat next to her, brushing her hair from her clammy forehead.

“Why didn't ya tell me?” he frowned, looking all sad and worried. She looked sheepish as she blinked up at him tiredly.

“I didn't want you to worry,” she admitted. He chewed his thumb as he watched her and he heaved a sigh.

"S'my job to worry," he huffed, making her look at him feeling guilty.

“I just want ya to rest alright? No more helpin’ around camp ‘til ya feel better,” he said firmly. She nodded, feeling sleepy. 

“Will you lay with me for a bit?” she asked tiredly. He couldn't deny her, not when she looked at him like that. He nodded, moving to lay down behind of her. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her close and breathing in her sweet meadowy scent. He hated that she was sick. He hated not being able to help her. He just hoped it wasn't anything too serious, that it would pass quickly. He had to go hunting for a few days soon and he didn't want to leave her if she was like this. But they needed more food. Sure they had some from runs here and there but it wasn't enough for the number of the group. The food never lasted long these days and he felt like he was always out there hunting. Part of him wondered about leaving the group again. He hadn't wanted to be here in the first place. He only went along with it because he was grieving, thinking the girl was dead. But now she was here, and he couldn't help the selfish thoughts that plagued him. 

He knew if it was just the three of them again, their food would last longer. They wouldn't have to share a damn thing. It made him think of Merles plan again, to rob the camp. He didn't like it. He wasn't his brother, he didn't think the same way he did. But yet he couldn't deny that right now, it appealed to him. Taking the food and any medical supplies they had, the three of them fucking off and surviving on their own. 

He didn't care about these people. He didn't give a shit. He gave a shit about his brother and his girl. She probably got sick because she caught something off one of these fuckers in the first place and it made him mad. He knew his brother had wanted to rob them for the same reasons he was now contemplating it. Because it would last them longer and they were all that mattered. 

Merle was selfish in a lot of ways and robbing people wasn't really a good thing to do. But Merle wasn't thinking about it that way, he wasn't thinking about the people he was robbing. He was thinking about the people he was robbing  _ for _ . And now, so was Daryl. They had wanted to come here for safety. For shelter and food. But they had neither of those things. They were still out in the open, their food was even more scarce since there were more mouths to feed. Charlene had put some of her weight back on but she still wasn't her fittest after being on her own like she had been. She was weaker and now she was fucking sick. Maybe he should speak to Merle later and see if he had come up with a plan yet. He really just wanted to get the fuck out of here. 


	34. Chapter 34

**This is it. Tis the end.**

**If you have me on Tumblr then you would have read my post regarding this. I decided to split it into a story before the show, and the sequel will be set during. I don't wanna rewrite my post for those who haven't seen it, so a short version is; I have other stories I need to work on and I don't wanna burn myself out with this one.**

**I need a little break before I get into the show stuff and I didn't wanna leave the story open and unfinished, waiting for updates.**

**When I wrote Such a Softer Sin, I went right from that to its sequel which is canon. I burnt myself out badly. I hated writing it and I lost the love for it. Resulting, in my opinion, in a shitty story that I’m not happy with. I don't want this to happen with this one.**

**So I made the decision to cut it off here, focus on some other Daryl stories I’ve started, and then I can come back to the sequel with fresh eyes. I don't wanna retype line for line the show. Even the little bit of this one that I did was taxing. It's boring for me to write and for some of you, it's boring to read.**

**So the sequel will be going into AU territory and won’t be like the end of this one. I wrote this chapter before I made that choice which is why the end is canon. Shits gonna get shaken up in the sequel.**

**Thank you for coming with me on this wild ass journey. The journey of writing a drabble, thinking it wasn't gonna be anything, to having 34 chapters written and falling in love. This story means the world to me. Just like Softer Sin, I wrote this solidly, none stop with no other stories. It's rare this happens to me. Its the sign of a story that inspires me so deeply that I fall in love with it.**

**Emotional isn't even the word right now loooool**

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“Make sure you drink it all and then rest up. Daryl will kill me if he comes back and you’re worse,” Amy snorted, tucking Charlene into the sleeping bag. Charlene was still sick and Amy was making it her personal mission to be her nurse and help her. It seemed to be some kind of chest infection. Charlene had a rattly cough and a bad fever. A couple of days had passed by now and in the time Charlene had joined the group, she had become close to Amy, the pair had become friends. 

Half of the group had gone to Atlanta on a run, Merle and Andrea being among them. So Charlene and Amy were both anxious and Amy was more than happy to help her and distract them both. It also didn't help that Daryl was off hunting. She had begged him to take her with him, fucking pleaded but he had refused because she was sick. So now she was here worried about Merle and Daryl and hoping they would be okay and she was fucking sick. She knew they could both look after themselves, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was coming their way. She tried to ignore it as she focused on Amy. 

In the hours that passed, she lay in the tent miserable. Amy coming in and out checking on her every now and again. She wished she felt well enough to be with the others. She wanted to help around camp. She wanted to prep the meat to get better at it. Daryl had been teaching her how to prep the meat and she could finally do it without gagging. She was surprised by how easy it was to prep and skin a rabbit. She was trying her hardest to hone her skills. She had been on her own for a while at one point and she knew it could easily happen again within a blink of an eye. She didn't want to leave herself up the creek without a paddle. So she was trying to learn as much as she could. 

She was hoping Daryl would have taught her about tracks today. She didn’t get why he didn't let her come. Usually, he wanted her by his side at all times but he had been adamant she was safer here and she needed to rest. She didn't agree. The only place she was safe was by his side. She hated being away from him like this. Sure she had a cough, and sure her fever was steadily getting worse. But she would much rather be sick and by his side than here without him. She drifted off into sleep and Amy was getting a little worried as she checked on her overnight. She had been sleeping for a while and her fever was getting pretty bad. She kept rubbing her head with a cool washcloth to help her a little as she had a fitful sleep. She decided to let her rest, not waking her whenever she checked on her.

Daryl stalked through the woods. He had been chasing this damn deer for fucking ever now. He had shot it a few times but his aim was fucking off. He knew it was a combination of things. Despite the days that had gone by, his head was still spinning from the revelation that he was in love with the pretty green-eyed girl. He should have seen it coming, he knew that. I mean who else goes to a fucking store for no other reason than to see someone smile? A lovesick fool. That's the only person. And that person was him. 

It wasn't just that though that was making his head messy. Merle was on the run to Atlanta and Daryl didn't like it. He didn’t like being separated from his brother but Merle was insistent he went. But Daryl fucking knew he had been using coke before he left. His brother was all hopped up, powder around his nose. He was disappointed. He remembered those words Charlene once uttered to him. How at some point, the hard shit would be all Merle had left. Even though his drug use had cut down, it seemed that his stash had eventually started dwindling and now he was left with the shit that made him the biggest asshole ever. He knew it hadn't helped with how hard Merle had hit the drugs again when they thought Charlene was dead. His brother had jumped right back into the deep end, resulting in the weaning process starting all over and now all he had was the hard shit.

It made Daryl's stomach sink pitifully. He had been enjoying his brother's company. He had enjoyed how they finally got along and Merle was finally acting like the big brother he had always needed. And he knew without a doubt that if his brother kept using the hard stuff, shit was going to get out of hand again. All that hard work would have been for nothing. He wasn't sure if Charlene knew or not that Merle was using that shit again. He felt like if she did she would have said something. He didn't have the heart to tell her, to let her know his brother was at it again. He wondered if Merle could go cold turkey now. His drug use was a lot less than it was so it wouldn't affect him as badly as it would have done before. Maybe they needed to toss his stash. A fucking intervention before things got bad. He could try and cope with his withdrawals now. They were in a group, he could keep the girl away from him. And he hoped they wouldn't be as bad now he wasn't using as much as he had been. He needed a word with him when he got back from the run.

Just before Daryl had left, he had spoken to Merle about his plan to rob the group. Merle had told him he had put it on hold since Charlene came back, and Daryl didn't need to ask why. She would never be up for the plan, and she would be mad as all hell if she even found out about it. He knew deep down it wasn't going to happen. There wasn't a way in hell he would be able to do it and drag her away from the group. She would refuse, or worse, she would go with them and then hate him. She always harped on that he was a good man, and he knew if he did that he would prove her wrong. And despite the deep need to leave these assholes and take what they had to keep them all safe, the thought of her being disappointed in him made him feel sick to his stomach. Merle had said he would try and think of something. Something that meant she had no choice to go along with it. But Daryl felt like he just needed to accept it wasn't going to happen. They were stuck in this group now, sharing their fucking supplies.

His thoughts drifted back to his girl. He could just see her in his mind right now. Sat there worrying like she always did, no doubt hacking up a lung if he went by the state of her when he left. He hated that she had to stay behind but it was better that way. Now he knew he loved her, he had accepted it. He needed to keep her safe. In the past, he would have gladly brought her with him because it had just been the three of them. Her safest place was with him. But now, the group was safer. She would be there with people and weapons, vehicles if they needed to get away. Not out on the woods with just him. 

It killed him being away from her but it was for the best. He would rather she be safe there without him than in danger with him there. Her sad face was haunting him though. She had literally begged him to let her come and he almost gave in. But then she had a coughing fit and he pictured her decaying face. The one that plagued his mind every night after he thought she had died. It was enough to make him snap out of it and give her a firm no. He was concerned that she was sick. It was just some kind of chest infection but without the right medical care, who knew what it could turn into or how bad it could get. He hated that he couldn't help her. So he figured trying to catch some decent game for once might help. Get some good food in her belly and get her strength up. 

He had given Amy strict instruction to keep an eye on her and make sure she was fine. The bitch had the audacity to ask him what to do if the worst happened and it felt like someone had thrown ice cold water all over him. This girl was Charlene's friend, she had no right saying that shit to anyone, least of all him. He had swiftly told her that if the worst happened, he would set the fucking place ablaze and make them all wish they were dead. She had nodded, wide eyes blinking up at him, knowing he meant every fucking word.

He heaved a sigh as he followed the deer through the trees. It was getting weak, he knew that. Hopefully, it would just fucking keel over soon so he could take it back to camp. He was getting tired now. He had been out here for days and he was hungry. He had drank the last of his water over an hour ago. His steps were slower than usual as he followed the tracks of the deer. He couldn't see it anymore but he didn't need to. He could follow the tracks and eventually it would lead him to the dead body when it finally gave out. He just wanted to get back to Charlene. Not being able to see her was making his chest feel tight. Anything could happen when he wasn't there. She was safer there than out here with him, but it didn't mean she was safe completely. Nowhere was safe anymore. He dreaded to think of him going back and the group was gone or overrun. Or the sickness had developed into something more. 

His mind was running rife with his anxiety about her and Merle, picturing all the bad shit that could happen to either of them. He hadn't enjoyed the solitude of being alone out here. It had been hollow silence without Merle to fill it with his usual bullshit or Charlene’s smile to make him happy. This is what it would be like if he was left with no one. The thought made him feel sick and he felt the bile rise into his throat. Angry it even crossed his mind at all.

He started getting agitated. Angry at Merle using again, annoyed that the girl would be upset when she found out. Fucking angry that in order to keep her safe she couldn't be by his side. Pissed off she had to get sick when they didn't exactly have a fucking doctor or the right meds to help her. He always did this. He always focused on the negative shit in his life until suddenly everything seemed pretty dark and bleak. And now this fucking deer he was after was quite a bit in front of him and he felt like he’d be walking for fucking ever.  _ Just die already, Jesus. _

He pushed through, just wanting to hurry the fuck up and get back to his girl. The anxiety was seeping through every pore of his body and he felt ready to rip his damn skin off. When he came out from the trees, he was met with the barrel of Shane's shotgun as some of the group surrounded the deer. Of course a biter had to have got to it before him. Why the fuck was he even surprised that his luck had seemingly run out? Now he had failed the girl _yet again_ and his anger started to flare up.

“Son of a bitch. That's my deer,” he huffed as he pushed past the brush and came out the where the deer was. There was nothing worse than having your kill fucking tainted by these undead pricks. He waltzed over to the deer, glowering as his nostrils flared in anger. 

“Ah look at it. All gnawed on by this filthy, disease bearin’, motherless, poxy bastard,” he growled, enunciating each of his valid points with a kick to the biter lay on the floor, its head no longer attached to its body.

“Calm down son, that's not helping,” Dale said warily. Daryl couldn't help it. All his anxiety and his anger was just radiating out of him and this asshole was trying to tell him to calm down?

“What do you know about it old man? Why don’t ya go take that stupid hat and go back to ‘On Golden Pond’?” he sneered as he stepped towards him. 

Daryl heaved a sigh as he walked back to the deer, pulling his bolts from it. He was angry at himself if he was honest. If his aim wasn't off because his head was too loud, he might have fucking got the deer sooner.

“I’ve been trackin’ this deer for miles. Gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison,” he muttered. He wasn’t sure if it was the lack of food, water and sleep that was making him desperate, or the thought of failing his girl yet again. 

“What d’ya think? Think we can cut around this chewed up part right here?” he asked, even though he knew the answer deep down.

“I would not risk that,” Shane stated, giving him a dirty look that made Daryl's eye twitch in annoyance. Asshole stood there like the big I am. He sighed again as he stood up properly, looking down at his kill. The kill they wouldn't get to eat. The kill that made him stay away from his sick girl for no fucking reason.

“That's a damn shame,” he muttered, almost to himself.

He turned back to the group then, his eyes scanning them briefly. He saw Andrea, Glenn and some new fucking idiot so he presumed the Atlanta group was back, so Merle must be around.

“I got some squirrel, about a dozen or so. That’ll have to do,” he said as he tugged at the rope with the squirrels on. The biter’s head on the floor started to chomp its teeth as the group looked down at it horrified.

“Oh god,” Amy muttered, looking ready to throw up as Andrea ushered her away. Daryl inwardly shook his head. Of course he would be stuck which a bunch of stupid assholes at the end of the world. How the fuck they had survived at all was beyond him.

“Come on people? What the hell?” he asked, raising his bow and aiming it, shooting a bolt right through the dead things eye. He stepped closer, putting his foot on its head and he yanked his bolt back out.

“Gotta be the brain, don’t y’all know nothin’?” he asked, giving them all a look as he walked off. He caught up to Amy before they got back to camp and she glanced at him. 

“Wheres Charlene?” he asked gruffly.

“The tent sleeping. She's slept near enough the whole time. Her fever got really bad last night but it seemed a little better when I checked on her before,” she said softly. Daryl grunted with a nod. He was worried she was sleeping so much but he was glad her fever was letting up. Amy looked weird though. She wouldn't look him in the eye and he squinted suspiciously as he watched her walk away. He shook his head as he walked to camp, glancing around.

“Merle! Merle! Get yer ass out here. Got us some squirrel, lets stew ‘em up!” he called out as he set his crossbow down.

“Daryl, just slow up a bit. I need to talk to you,” Shane said, eyeing him carefully. Daryl narrowed his eyes. He didn't want to talk to this prick and he had no idea just what the fucker would want with him.

Charlene suddenly appeared then and he frowned as she walked over, Shane forgotten. She looked paler than usual, a little sheen of sweat on her forehead with her long brown hair pulled into a high ponytail. She coughed into her hand, her lungs burning as she made her way over to see what the noise was about. She couldn't believe she had slept for so long. Her lungs were still sore and her throat felt raw, but she didn't feel as hot and she felt a little better. She was glad to see Daryl, her body flooded with relief as she walked over to him. 

He frowned down at her, putting his hand on her head, checking her temperature as he looked at her concerned. She wasn’t as hot as when he left her but she still looked rough. She leant into his touch, his hands cooling and soothing her. His face scanned hers, trying to make sure she was okay and she gave him a little smile. He couldn't help but return it, leaning down to kiss her forehead affectionately. He hadn't really meant to do that with eyes watching them and she looked a little surprised. He couldn't take it back now though and he wouldn't if he could anyway. Being away from her for a couple of days, worrying because she was sick. He fucking missed her and he’d been worried. So what if he kissed her on the fucking head?

Shane was still lingering, waiting for the chance to tell them the news everyone had been dreading, knowing it was about to cause a shit storm. Charlene wrapped her arms around Daryl’s middle, ignoring the squirrels attached to him.

“I missed you,” she muttered. His hands came up around her, stroking her back soothingly as he buried his nose into her hair. He shot Shane a look over her head and smirked to himself. He was sick of watching the prick looking at his girl all the time. When she moved away, her eyes scanned the camp. She could see the people from the run were back. She had presumed they were back when she heard a car alarm blaring at one point. But she had been that out of it from her fever she had gone back to sleep. Her eyes settled on the new guy for second and she got that weird feeling again. The one that something was wrong. Everyone in camp was watching them both warily and Merle was nowhere to be seen. Her stomach dropped a little, wondering just what the fuck was going on. She looked at Shane then and he wiped a hand over his face, averting his eyes. She pursed her lips as she tried to ignore how her lungs were burning, tilting her chin up as she tried to stand up straighter.

_ “Where's the hell is Merle?”  _

  
  
  
  


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**I hope you enjoyed this guys. I'm actually excited for the sequel now I'm not doing canon. I have some ideas for where I'm gonna go with it and its gonna be a fun ride. Once I've got some of my other fics done and out of the way, I'll start on it.**

**Thanks for being here, I love you all.**


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